Bruce Lee Ain't Got Nothing On Me: Puck/Rachel, Finn, R
Title: Bruce Lee Ain't Got Nothing On Me
Author: marliskelsey
Pairing,Character(s): Puck/Rachel, Finn
Rating: R, for swearing
Word Count: 1,456
Spoilers: 1x13 Sectionals, to be safe.
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. I can only dream.
Summary: They break up on the first Tuesday of winter break.
A/N: Same universe as This Reluctant Love and We Go Together Like Little Girls and Chainsaws, but takes place in between the two fics. I'll probably be exploring this universe more in the future. Hope you enjoy!
They break up on the first Tuesday of winter break.
Puck’s not worried, because one can only go so long without a little Puckerone loving, and he knows that he and Rachel will be doing the horizontal tango again within the week.
In the meantime, its college, baby! He’s going out to get hammered.
* * *
It’s been almost two weeks now, and Puck’s starting to get a little bit worried.
Rachel goes to some performing arts university in Pittsburgh, Cantaloupe Melon or something, and up until now, he hasn’t been worried about any of the guys there. But Rachel hasn’t called with her nightly run-down of her day, and she hasn’t sent him her weekly care-package either, and Puck’s a dude, so his mind instantly jumps to some other theatre douchebag trying to get with his girlfriend.
After that, Puck’s mind jumps to a whole shit-load of other conclusions and he needs to lie down.
* * *
` He calls up Finn first.
“Finn, dude, I need your help.”
“’Sup, Puck? What’s shakin’ buddy?”
Puck paces his dorm room. “Yeah, yeah, c’mon Frankenteen. Are you going to help me or what?”
He hears his friend laughing on the other line and makes a fist. “Lemme guess. You screwed up with Rach, you’re worried she’s with some other dude and you need to employ my spy skills to help you win her back.” Sometimes, Puck hates that Finn and Rachel are best friends.
“She called you?”
“Yep.” Finn’s voice is smug.
“Well, while you two were off being best girlfriends forever, I have been starving my ass off, bro. There’s like, no food in this fucking dorm.”
Finn snorts on the other end. “Dude, it’s pretty sad that you rely completely on your girlfriend in another state for all your food. Have you never been grocery shopping?”
“Bitch, you don’t know my life. Are you going to help me or not?”
“Whatever, man. I’ll drive up to Carnegie and check things out for you, but if Rachel catches me, I am not against surrendering you for my own good. I’ll call you.
Puck smirks to himself and drops down on his bed. “Thanks, bro. Peace out, girl scout.”
“I am not a girl scout!
* * *
Puck’s lying on his bed. His roommate, Adam, is playing one of those wizard games on his computer and getting scarily into it, so Puck thanks his lucky stars when the phone rings.
“Thank God, bro. Let me go into the hallway so I can hear you over the essence of geek in the room.”
When he’s outside, he leans against the wall. “Update?”
Finn’s silent on the other end, and Puck’s heart drops. “Well, yeah, but you’re not gonna like it.”
“Are you trying to tell me that some drama douchebag and Rachel are getting it on behind my back? Is somebody putting the moves on my girlfriend?”
“It’s like this. I was hiding behind the bushes of her dorm, right? Totally stealth, by the way, you’d be proud. Anyways, she rolled up to the dorm at like, ten o’clock with some dude and they went inside together, and he didn’t come back out. I stayed until like two in the morning.”
Mother fuck.
“Before you go all ape-shit, it could be nothing! He could just be a friend, okay Puck? Puck?”
He ends the call, and Puck thinks very seriously about punching the wall before deciding he’d rather not fuck up his hand. Instead, he tears inside the dorm room, scaring the shit out of Adam, and throws random clothes and his toothbrush into a duffel. “Where are you going, Noah?”
“It’s Puck, Harry Potter, and I’m going on a road trip. If the DA comes, I’m in the bathroom.”
“I don’t think that’s ethical!”
Puck slams the door.
* * *
So, Puck’s never told anybody this, but he’s kind of a ninja.
When he and Finn were eleven, they went on this Bruce Lee craze and watched every single action movie the guy ever made, including the ones that Finn’s mom banned him from seeing (which gave Finn nightmares and Puck’s regretted it ever since) which led to a long ninja stage for both of them (even though Finn looked like a giraffe being electrocuted when he tried any of the moves).
Finn’s obsession tapered out after he figured out he was pretty good at chucking a football.
Puck’s got ambition. He stuck with it.
That’s why he’s crouched in the bushes in front of the library, totally evading detection. It’s pretty rad, actually, he feels like James Bond.
* * *
She walks out after about two hours of squatting in a bush.
God, she’s pretty. Puck makes a face at the sappiness of that thought. But the sun’s making her hair all shiny and shit and her legs are going on for miles in her skirt. Rachel’s casually flipping through her textbook, murmuring what Puck can only assume are lines under her breath.
Shit. Shit, he’s lost his balance and he’s falling. A twig snaps under his elbow and he swears.
Rachel’s head snaps up and her eyes flash because Puck knows she recognized his voice.
“Noah? Are you hiding in that bush?
Puck scrambles for something to do. “Uh . . . no?”
He can almost hear her rolling her eyes. “Get up, Noah. I can see you.” Reluctantly, he stands.
“Noah, what are you doing here? Does this have something to do with the fact that Finn was here a couple days ago, apparently trying to spy on me? Did you ask him to spy on me?”
Puck smirks. “No way, babe. We’re broken up. What Finn was doing on his own time has nothing to do with me.” The look on Rachel’s face tells him she’s not buying it.
“You’re not going to leave, are you?”
“Nope.”
* * *
Rachel’s dorm is exactly how he remembers it, small and cramped. He’ll never forget that one time when Rachel’s room mate was out and they christened her bed . . .
“Noah. Why exactly do you feel the need to stalk me at my school?”
He leans back, looking at her coolly. She’s not gonna turn this around on him, he’s not the one with some theatre pansy in her dorm all hours of the night. “Nuh uh, babe. This is about you.” He thinks back to every cop movie he’s ever seen. “What were you doing two nights ago with some guy in your dorm room?”
Rachel raises an eyebrow. “So, Finn really was here.”
“Not the point! What were you doing?”
And suddenly, Rachel’s laughing hysterically. There are tears rolling down her cheeks and she’s holding her sides and Puck’s feeling like an idiot. “Don’t mock me!” The inner badass is shaking his head because when does Puck whine?
“Oh, Noah. I should have - I completely forgot that neither you nor Finn have ever actually met my fathers.”
Wait, what?
“Wait, what?”
Rachel wipes the tears from her cheeks and strolls over to where he’s sitting, plunking down and patting his knee. “It was my dad, Noah. Not some secret boyfriend, although the look on your face was pure gold when you thought it was. Since I was too busy to come down for winter break, they volunteered to come up and see me.”
Puck can only sulk, because he hates when Rachel’s right. Which is pretty often, actually, so he’s screwed anyways.
“But, Noah . . .” Rachel traces a pattern on his arm. “It was pretty sweet that you got all jealous over me. It was actually sort of . . . exciting.”
Oh yeah, Puck’s still the man.
* * *
After the make-up sex and the drive back to Ohio State, Puck calls up Finn.
“You, my friend, are an idiot.”
Finn’s voice is slightly hysterical. “How was I supposed to know that it was her dad? I’ve never actually been to her house.”
“Whatever. You didn’t notice the guy was like, forty years old? Do you see like you drive, grandma?”
“Fuck you, man.”
Puck snickers. “Aw, come on, I love you, bro. You’re like a brother to me. And you may have actually initiated some of the best sex I’ve ever . . .”
“Dude. Do not need the details of your freaky sex life with my other best friend.”
Puck rolls his eyes and digs into the newest care package from Rachel. Fuck, that chick can bake. He bites into a peanut butter cookie and scares Adam with his groan of pleasure. “You know you love it. Talk to you later, prom queen.”
“I’m not . . . I hate you.”
“Love you too, baby.”