Sam saying "I wouldn't. Same circumstances, I wouldn't" was for Dean basically saying "I won't save you when you are dying", which for Dean would probably mean "I don't love you enough for that." When in reality, Sam basically meant "I love you more than that. I value your choices more than I value my own happiness"
That right there is what hurts so much--that for all intents and purposes they are speaking two different languages.
And in your anger about it, you kick the dog. While it's understandable to be angry and to lash out, the dog won't know what it did wrong. It will not get "Oh, I'm not supposed to eat books", it will only get "for some reason, my owner kicked me, I don't know what I did, but I'll try to be all small and apologetic so he won't do it again."You might think now "Oh, my dog understood me, it feels sorry, lesson learned" - but of course that would be wrong. Because the dog didn't understand "eating books is bad", only that "my owner's foot can hurt me"
That right there is what hurts so much--that for all intents and purposes they are speaking two different languages.
Well... if you say it like that,I would have been able to spare myself the long talk :-D You're right, it's exactly that. And that's why I can understand if Sam lashed out in anger, but I will not be as kind with my understanding if he keeps on hiding the meaning behind them. if he was just waiting for the day that he and Dean would be able to listen and talk, then I'm fine with Sam. If he just thinks he can leave it at that and go on pretending Dean got what he said, I'll take back my sympathy for him :-)
Because yes, it's fine to lash out and be mad. But as with the dog: there's no greater value for staying that way if the culprit doesn't understand your reasons.
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When in reality, Sam basically meant "I love you more than that. I value your choices more than I value my own happiness"
That right there is what hurts so much--that for all intents and purposes they are speaking two different languages.
And in your anger about it, you kick the dog. While it's understandable to be angry and to lash out, the dog won't know what it did wrong. It will not get "Oh, I'm not supposed to eat books", it will only get "for some reason, my owner kicked me, I don't know what I did, but I'll try to be all small and apologetic so he won't do it again."You might think now "Oh, my dog understood me, it feels sorry, lesson learned" - but of course that would be wrong. Because the dog didn't understand "eating books is bad", only that "my owner's foot can hurt me"
And I think this is an excellent analogy...
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Well... if you say it like that,I would have been able to spare myself the long talk :-D You're right, it's exactly that. And that's why I can understand if Sam lashed out in anger, but I will not be as kind with my understanding if he keeps on hiding the meaning behind them.
if he was just waiting for the day that he and Dean would be able to listen and talk, then I'm fine with Sam. If he just thinks he can leave it at that and go on pretending Dean got what he said, I'll take back my sympathy for him :-)
Because yes, it's fine to lash out and be mad. But as with the dog: there's no greater value for staying that way if the culprit doesn't understand your reasons.
Thanks for coming by here :-)
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