I'm the one with That Kid

[marmalade_girl]

So today I confirmed what I'd been suspecting since Moira started this round of soccer lessons back in March. I have the Bad Kid. At first I told myself each time that it was an isolated thing, that she'd be better the next week, that it was actually kind of cute. Well, the cute has worn off. It started innocently enough - she was excited and

Comments

[opal363]

Bad kid? No. Toddler, yes. That age is hard, as I am sure you are well aware of. I wouldn't put her in the bad category though, she isn't hurting someone physically or emotionally, but is merely trying the patience of a coach that is already working with children whose attention span runs so far. I give the kidlet credit for at least recognizing that she didn't listen, and is honest about it. As she ages she will become better at following directions/rules. I say by the time fall hits she will be reaching that level of understanding.

But Lisa and Tom are right, and your mommy-sense is right too. She does need to see that if she isn't going to listen, or ignore the rules and do as she pleases that something will happen. Sometimes a small repercussion is necessary. Its a good reminder that she cannot have things go her way all the time, and that she does need to listen to her coach. ^_^ But you don't need me saying this.

I have been missing you something fierce lately, and I hope you are doing well sweety

[marmalade_girl]

You're right, of course. I don't think my Mouse is a bad kid at all, but I am nervous/frustrated that she's starting to head down such a disrespectful path. She's always been difficult to correct - she seems to find our attempts to redirect her to be either hilarious or unforgivably cruel. It's not that she doesn't know that her behavior isn't quite what we want from her, it's more like she doesn't care/understand why we want her to behave that way in the first place. She's very good at parroting back my reasons, but I'm not confident that she gets it.

[marmalade_girl]

And I miss you, too! <&hearts>

kender is too lazy to log in

[anonymous]

Even now I can't control the shock of the idea of a 3 year old in something as structured as soccer practice. (My brain breaks every evening when Sonny brings in Algebra and Geometry homework, and talks about metaphors and chrysalis stages; it just seems to complex for 3rd grade!)

Maybe before class you can take her to a park or something nearby to work off any restless energy. Maybe getting some wild and free time first will help her be able to concentrate on what the coach is telling them to do.

Here I am starting over though, not even managing to get it through to Riley that when I say "No" it's not appropriate to smirk, chuckle, and keep doing the unwanted action. (i.e. unplugging cords, shoving fat little fingers into fans, drawers and everything else he can get into.)

Maybe I should be asking for advise?

Re: kender is too lazy to log in

[marmalade_girl]

Hi, you. :hugs:

These soccer 'lessons' are really no more than a series of games that encourages a small herd of toddlers to learn to kick a ball and follow some simple directions. They use soccer terms like "dribble" and little foamy soccer balls, but otherwise it could be any other kind of less-than-organized play. But three-year-olds do very well in this - all the other kids follow directions after one or two promts. Mine...not so much. Willful.

The park idea is wonderful, and if we sign her up for the next level, I'll definitely do that. Unfortunately, I had to take a 9 AM class this time. I can barely get us there on time. >_<

Is it wrong that I'm relieved that Riley is also showing signs of willfulness? Mouse *still* smirks at us when we try to correct her. I'm glad it's not just us.

How's the little man doing, anyway? Besides getting into everything he shouldn't? ;)

Re: kender is too lazy to log in

[astrokender]

Dang that's early! I can see your point, lol. How about you both do some soccer lessons in the back yard then? I've had great success with Sonny by pretending I don't know how to do something and making her teach me. I bet Moira would love to play soccer coach ;)

As for Riley... He manages anywhere from three to five steps before plowing into the ground or our arms. He loves to sort things which makes drawers fascinating to him. (pinched fingers, yes. He's mostly learned to avoid it though. Darwin won't get my child!) He has claimed my bottom drawer as his own and hides many things in there (took us two weeks to find the tv remote) he loves to dance and refuses to talk after showing us that he can. He's not a morning person and spends half the night jumping around in his crib while mommy and daddy try to will him to sleep. He smacks me when I drag him away from the dangerous thing he wants to play with. He's an asshole, and I love him so. :)

Re: kender is too lazy to log in

[marmalade_girl]

Your kid is amazing. <3

[errandofmercy]

Hello and thanks for the add! I'm still trying not to be starstruck and just be a regular friend instead :p

3 is such an early age. So much can change about a kid's personality, even in a matter of weeks/months, with or without parental involvement ;) When O was little he used to push kids down in kindergarten and break their block towers, etc. We were terrified he was going to become a bully. It ended up that he was sort of "experimenting" with boundaries and kids' reactions - a few months later, he stopped and he is now as mild-mannered as Ferdinand the Bull :p Conversely, his siblings seemed easier at a younger age and are now learning the art of disobedience >_<

However, this is the age (one of them, anyway) when parents really pull their hair out. Now that you've established basic survival skills you start worrying that your child is going to be a freak or a sociopath XD Try to relax if you can - most of them turn out just fine ;)

[marmalade_girl]

Hi! I think we'll make very good regular friends. :)

You're right. I know that. And I'm not exactly afraid that Mouse will end up some kind of sociopath. It's more that I'm nervous that she'll get into a habit of disregard. If I teach her anything at all, it needs to be respect for others, and yet right now it seems to be the farthest thing from her mind.

I was raised on a lot of love, but also a lot of discipline. If my dad told me to knock it off, I'd do so right away. I don't know how to do that, as a parent. I don't know how to make her stop smirking and start behaving. I guess that's what I'm struggling with, more than anything.

[errandofmercy]

Yay! :) Thank you for saying so <3

While nobody has all the answers, I know whatever strategies you try will be rooted in love ;)

[marmalade_girl]

I know she can do better because she has. In her last soccer class, she was amazing. But maybe you're right - maybe her interest in it has waned. Or maybe it's the class environment. She's pretty good at one-on-one with an adult, but it seems like, as soon as there are other kids to impress, she's all over the place again.

I'm hoping to start her in preschool this fall, so maybe that'll change things. It could just be that she's an only child who gets too excited when she hangs out with other kids? I guess we'll see.