i keep feeling massive amounts of butterflies. yet i still eat food. then the mix makes me feel worse. i hate this process. but i love the results.

i had one of the best weekends of my life/ weeks of my life i guess. everything is renewed and i feel like im actually alive and living. not just alive. i love being in this state.

i thought this girl was telling my supervisor that i was slacking off at work but i talked to her today and she didnt say that. she says that my supervisor is just thinks negatively of paint crew. cool. im glad that if i need to use him as a job reference he will screw me over for no reason. i actually take this job seriously unlike most of my ( Read more... )

i dont know what the title means ( Read more... )

i had my first day of work today and it was alright. not too much to complain about. the only sad thing is i have to go back tomorrow. :( i just have to take it one day at a time and remember why i am doing it. for the benjamins baby!

i dont know whats been wrong with my lj but for some reason it hasnt been letting me post. anyways ( Read more... )

I went to school today. first i stayed at the elementary cause i was going to help my mom but she ended up not needing any help. i saw this crazy guy though. does anyone remember that crazy kid that was mrs staatz's grandson and we called him jackrabbit or something and he got really pissed. well i saw him today and he was still really weird. he ( Read more... )

One of the hardest parts of growing up for me is knowing that everywhere else, life goes on. this shows me that people don't need me which is better than them needing me cause i hate to be needed. but this shows me that i am unimportant. a good reality check. sad though.

I dont want to brag or anything but yesterday i think i peed 8 times. it was crazy. and today ive probably peed 5-6 times. now my hands are dry ( Read more... )

i hate when my mom leaves she always gets really sad. i didnt get to spend any quality time with her because my dad was always there. always. they fought a lot. like always. and tonight she calls me telling me they arent going to come see me when they said they were. i hate that. they always bail on me. it already happened to me once this week. but ( Read more... )