THE DWARF

I rear ended a car this morning, and I thought to myself, “Oh, this is going to be a REALLY bad day”.

Then the driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!

He looked up at me and said "I am NOT Happy!"

So I said, "Well, which one ARE you then?"

That's how the fight started...

Having been safely ensconsed at home and away from the public at large for the past six months probably meant I wasn't being exposed to all the wonderful germs the rest of you were enjoying ( Read more... )

Actually I went back to work a couple weeks ago, but only part time. Each week I did more hours, and this week was to be my first full time week. Despite my body getting a bit stronger every day, the schedule I designed was too agressive, and my body finally said ( Read more... )

As seen in a dog's diary:

7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favourite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favourite!

2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favourite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favourite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mum! My favourite!

7 pm - Oh ( Read more... )

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says,

"Good morning, Ma'am. What are ( Read more... )

I don't really need any reponses to this but,

"What's missing from your life?"

Do you want it, or do you want it back, and if so what are you going to do to get it?

Have fun!

What's that one thing you can never really say NO to?

For me, it's Maynard's Wine Gums. Since about age 5 or 6 when I first had them. (Yeah, I know. I was a "wino" right from the start)

If I'm having a bad day, they're a little psychological pick-me-up.
If I'm having a good day, they're a celebration of that day. 
And if, like today, the majority of ( Read more... )

1. Can you cook?
Hmmm... I keep hearing about this "cooking" stuff. I'll have to research this. But seriously, breakfast I can do, and if a BBQ is involved, I'm there. Beyond that I'm cuisine-challenged. Many thanks to the MarquisMiss for keeping me fed. (yes, i know it's sad.)

2. What was your dream growing up?
To be a Firerfighter, a Pilot, an ( Read more... )

Of course the excitement is even better if you inadvertently cause the fire, AND the object on fire is not one that you would think can burn -- as in THE WASHING MACHINE!

See ladies, there IS a reason you want to limit the amount of housework your man does, because he'll burn something that's
FULL OF WATER!!!

DOH!!!

Having been home for 4 months ( Read more... )

The ashes of James Doohan, aka "Scotty" of Star Trek. are set to be launched into space in Late April 2007 ( Read more... )