[drabble] portals of reality ; key-centered
portals of reality ; key-centered
a/n: drabbled after watching black swan and white: the melody of the curse! c: i've also always wanted to try a mentally imbalanced gwiboon, so this was my take on it.
"soon," gwiboon whispers to her reflection in the mirror, smiling as she carefully places a warm washcloth (always warm, never hot. hot water is bad for the skin. bad skin means she can't perform.) over her face, letting her mask hydrate her skin as she leans back in her chair, exhaling and inhaling deeply to help herself relax.
after thirteen minutes have elapsed, she carefully massages in the remaning serium, washing her hands and then sliding her contacts in. makeup came next; eyeshadow and eyeliner in mere hints and always a little bit of foundation. if she went overboard, people wouldn't like her; people only liked natural girls.
when everything's all finished and done, gwiboon exits her dressing room, going down to the break room for lunch. lunch, to her, was always a small salad with no dressing and half a cup full of grapes. it's not that gwiboon minded, but she always had to watch her weight. meats were bad and made you gain weight, especially with all the added fats and fillers. if she gained weight, she'd be knocked back down to trainee status; and she couldn't have that.
as she eats sitting by herself (again, she couldn't trust anyone. that meant being pushed back to the beginning), she catches herself glancing at the table a few seats over, seeing junghee with at least four meals in front of her. it inwardly both digusts gwiboon and makes her envious; being able to eat so much without gaining any weight.
---
dance practice later on goes uneventfully, gwiboon masking a stumble with a new dance move and getting praise. hearing praise makes her happy, because it means she can look forward to debuting with crescendolls as their leader. it's something she's been training four years of her life for; something she'd never let pass up.
"okay, that's a wrap," their dance instructor says, giving the girls a large smile. "as you know, today's the lineup finalization. we'll be picking five girls to debut with crescendolls next month, so meet back here in three hours, okay?"
gwiboon nods, happily almost skipping off to her dressing room and removing her makeup to reapply fresh coats. junghee comes in and sits a few tables down, opting to just doze in front of her mirror instead of getting ready or taking off her old, sweaty makeup. unbelieveable, gwiboon thinks, scoffing. she's going to ruin her skin like that. sometimes i wonder why she's even here.
it was harsh, but the truth: junghee could really only sing. she wasn't good at rapping like ahreum, she wasn't a dancer like taeyeon; she was really only a vocalist. gwiboon smirks at the thought of junghee joining a ballad group, and them having to compete. ballad groups never stood a chance.
---
three hours later, everyone's crammed into the practice room as hyelim has a piece of paper in front of her, standing on the little podium box.
"is everyone ready to hear the names?" an enthusiastic wave of nods and cheers echos through the practice room; and hyelim continues with a laugh. "alright, alright. debuting with crescendolls, we have... lee ahreum,"
ahreum stands up with a blush, tears in her eyes as she bows repeatidly, girls clapping and cheering for her.
"joo soyoung," hyerim continues; another girl standing up and going to stand next to ahreum. "noh leeyoung,"
"just nohlee," comes the small and meek voice; but a third girl joins the others. gwiboon notices how tiny she is in comparison; but knows what she's capable of.
"alright, nohlee then. next we have kim hyerin." another petite girl joins the three girls, embracing them in a hug."
this is it, gwiboon thinks, resisting the urge to just go join her friends right there. everything she'd ever been preparing for in her life was right in front of her; she could -
"and the finalist, kim junghee!"
gwiboon freezes, the cheering of voices echoing around her. junghee? there was absolutely no way that was possible. she, kim gwiboon, had been here for five years; dancing as a backup dancer until she could debut as the leader of her own group.
after the crowd settled out, gwiboon finds hyelim and gently taps her on the shoulder.
"you said junghee was the finalist? but surely there's been a mistake?"
"there isn't a mistake, gwiboon-ah," hyelim says, squeezing her shoulder. "the higher ups think you're not cut out for this group."
"but that's impossible. i've been training for years."
"you have a problem with showing the right attitude in songs and voice, and you're prone to almost fainting on stage frequently. are you sure you're eating enough? you should be adding protein to your diet."
"protein makes you fat," gwiboon whispers, tears brimming in her eyes as she storms off back to her dressing room; ignoring all curious stares and calls of you're okay, right?
when she gets to her dressing room mirror, she stares at all the makeup bottles and mirrors around her, suddenly screaming and starting to throw everything around, throwing hairbrushes into the mirror and listening to it shatter.
she grabs the tube and applies it messily all over her lips, paying no mind how it spreads to her cheeks as well ("must be pretty i must be pretty i'm obviously not pretty enough"), reaching for the tweezers and immediately trying to pull all the glass out when she swears she feels small pricks on her skin.
the last thing anyone remembered hearing was gwiboon screaming uncontrollably, followed by sobbing; then silence. when they finally opened the door to the shared dressing room, they found her unconcious on the floor, surrounded by broken mirrors and spilled cosmetics.
the room falls into silence as one of the girls slowly turns her over, discovering small chunks of skin missing from where she had become convinced there really was glass in her skin and had attempted to pluck it out with tweezers.
a/n: drabbled after watching black swan and white: the melody of the curse! c: i've also always wanted to try a mentally imbalanced gwiboon, so this was my take on it.
"soon," gwiboon whispers to her reflection in the mirror, smiling as she carefully places a warm washcloth (always warm, never hot. hot water is bad for the skin. bad skin means she can't perform.) over her face, letting her mask hydrate her skin as she leans back in her chair, exhaling and inhaling deeply to help herself relax.
after thirteen minutes have elapsed, she carefully massages in the remaning serium, washing her hands and then sliding her contacts in. makeup came next; eyeshadow and eyeliner in mere hints and always a little bit of foundation. if she went overboard, people wouldn't like her; people only liked natural girls.
when everything's all finished and done, gwiboon exits her dressing room, going down to the break room for lunch. lunch, to her, was always a small salad with no dressing and half a cup full of grapes. it's not that gwiboon minded, but she always had to watch her weight. meats were bad and made you gain weight, especially with all the added fats and fillers. if she gained weight, she'd be knocked back down to trainee status; and she couldn't have that.
as she eats sitting by herself (again, she couldn't trust anyone. that meant being pushed back to the beginning), she catches herself glancing at the table a few seats over, seeing junghee with at least four meals in front of her. it inwardly both digusts gwiboon and makes her envious; being able to eat so much without gaining any weight.
---
dance practice later on goes uneventfully, gwiboon masking a stumble with a new dance move and getting praise. hearing praise makes her happy, because it means she can look forward to debuting with crescendolls as their leader. it's something she's been training four years of her life for; something she'd never let pass up.
"okay, that's a wrap," their dance instructor says, giving the girls a large smile. "as you know, today's the lineup finalization. we'll be picking five girls to debut with crescendolls next month, so meet back here in three hours, okay?"
gwiboon nods, happily almost skipping off to her dressing room and removing her makeup to reapply fresh coats. junghee comes in and sits a few tables down, opting to just doze in front of her mirror instead of getting ready or taking off her old, sweaty makeup. unbelieveable, gwiboon thinks, scoffing. she's going to ruin her skin like that. sometimes i wonder why she's even here.
it was harsh, but the truth: junghee could really only sing. she wasn't good at rapping like ahreum, she wasn't a dancer like taeyeon; she was really only a vocalist. gwiboon smirks at the thought of junghee joining a ballad group, and them having to compete. ballad groups never stood a chance.
---
three hours later, everyone's crammed into the practice room as hyelim has a piece of paper in front of her, standing on the little podium box.
"is everyone ready to hear the names?" an enthusiastic wave of nods and cheers echos through the practice room; and hyelim continues with a laugh. "alright, alright. debuting with crescendolls, we have... lee ahreum,"
ahreum stands up with a blush, tears in her eyes as she bows repeatidly, girls clapping and cheering for her.
"joo soyoung," hyerim continues; another girl standing up and going to stand next to ahreum. "noh leeyoung,"
"just nohlee," comes the small and meek voice; but a third girl joins the others. gwiboon notices how tiny she is in comparison; but knows what she's capable of.
"alright, nohlee then. next we have kim hyerin." another petite girl joins the three girls, embracing them in a hug."
this is it, gwiboon thinks, resisting the urge to just go join her friends right there. everything she'd ever been preparing for in her life was right in front of her; she could -
"and the finalist, kim junghee!"
gwiboon freezes, the cheering of voices echoing around her. junghee? there was absolutely no way that was possible. she, kim gwiboon, had been here for five years; dancing as a backup dancer until she could debut as the leader of her own group.
after the crowd settled out, gwiboon finds hyelim and gently taps her on the shoulder.
"you said junghee was the finalist? but surely there's been a mistake?"
"there isn't a mistake, gwiboon-ah," hyelim says, squeezing her shoulder. "the higher ups think you're not cut out for this group."
"but that's impossible. i've been training for years."
"you have a problem with showing the right attitude in songs and voice, and you're prone to almost fainting on stage frequently. are you sure you're eating enough? you should be adding protein to your diet."
"protein makes you fat," gwiboon whispers, tears brimming in her eyes as she storms off back to her dressing room; ignoring all curious stares and calls of you're okay, right?
when she gets to her dressing room mirror, she stares at all the makeup bottles and mirrors around her, suddenly screaming and starting to throw everything around, throwing hairbrushes into the mirror and listening to it shatter.
she grabs the tube and applies it messily all over her lips, paying no mind how it spreads to her cheeks as well ("must be pretty i must be pretty i'm obviously not pretty enough"), reaching for the tweezers and immediately trying to pull all the glass out when she swears she feels small pricks on her skin.
the last thing anyone remembered hearing was gwiboon screaming uncontrollably, followed by sobbing; then silence. when they finally opened the door to the shared dressing room, they found her unconcious on the floor, surrounded by broken mirrors and spilled cosmetics.
the room falls into silence as one of the girls slowly turns her over, discovering small chunks of skin missing from where she had become convinced there really was glass in her skin and had attempted to pluck it out with tweezers.