rainbow; taemin/key
rainbow; taemin/key
inspired by a nightmare I had, brought on by Fatal Frame 3. angst, character death.
x-posted to shinee_replay
violet and stunning: this is the colour that taemin first sees in kibum’s hair when he meets him. kibum is smiling and he brushes his (obnoxious and stupid; taemin thinks, but he’s a good little child) bangs out of his eyes, before asking if he wanted to play with him. taemin isn’t sure how to say no, (or maybe he’s desperate for some form of socalization away from home) and so they play together in the garden. kibum picks some flowers for him and puts them in his hair, calling him cute and special. it makes taemin blush and he leaves only when the sun starts setting, mulling over things in his mind.
indigo is the colour of his journal: his dreams, his hopes, his nightmares and fears; his entire life is stretched across the pages. they're old and tattered and some have even been held together with thread and botched sewing tactics (kibum laughs when he sees it, but quickly shoots taemin an understanding glance), but it's still special to him. his entire soul is stretched across these pages, decorated with splotches and patches of ink; failed letters or notes that didn't quite make it. the doctors vigorously examine the drippings every day, hoping to find some sort of answer behind them.
blue is the book that kibum gave him; a photo album of them being silly. taemin didn't figure the other had a knack for photography, but he grew to learn small things like that about kim kibum; such as he doesn't like heights at all (taemin remembers when he clung to him as they were climbing train tracks, remembers feeling kibum's racing heart and holding him to whisper soothing words), or how he crinkles up his nose when he doesn't like something (or he's thinking really hard). it's at this point he realizes that he could possibly love kim kibum.
green and cracked; these are the walls seared into his mind from their trip to a supposidly haunted house, familiar from the times they sat together on the couch and taemin confessed his never ending nightmares, sobbing into kibum's chest and finally passing out when he couldn't take it anymore. the visions, the monsters, the pain, the loss, the fears he had - but already kibum knew them all. taemin never figured out how or why, but he let himself be held close to kibum's chest. he nuzzles into it, soft sighs escaping from him as kibum threads his fingers through his hair.
yellow is the colour of the schoolbook he's given come the new term; to bury himself in normal events, to try to live a normal life, to belong somewhere. it's quickly retired to the back of the closet because he hardly goes outside anymore, despite the doctors telling him that "it'll be good for you". he doesn't want to go outside without kibum, taemin explains to the doctors, who shake their heads at him and scribble something on their paperwork. taemin often buries his face into the pillow and screams after every session.
orange is the other half of the hairclip he has - a best friend's present, honestly. kibum was always the strange one, collecting seashells or broken bottles or whatever his fingers touched really (his house was completely stuffed with everything he collected), and the orange hair clip was no exception.
("it's a best friend present, taeminnie," he explains, threading it through a piece of taemin's hair with a smile on his face. "i take one, you take the other, we hold onto it forever." and taemin just nods, smiling and laughing because he's happy with kibum.)
red's the one colour taemin doesn't explain, can't explain: because red can be anything. red can be the swollen lips after kibum had finally worked up the courage to kiss him and the many kisses they shared that night. red can be the rotting clothes that were buried throughout the house; once pretty artifacts that were now discoloured through time. red can be the sweatshirt taemin refuses to take off because it's what kibum was wearing the last time he saw him; it can also be the colour on the milky glass pieces he's kept tucked away in a special spot carved out in his journal.
red can be anything, but it's really only one thing in this case. (or several, but taemin isn't going to admit that.)
red is the only colour taemin could see, splashed and smeared all over the glass and twisted metal. and taemin comes to a few moments later, realizing that people aren't supposed to bend that way, and that red definitely doesn't suit him in his hair as well as does the human body have this much blood? so all he can really do is hold kibum until the ambulance arrives, feeling the other's pulse slowly tick away and grip slowly grow weaker and weaker.
the doctors tell him that the car crash wasn't his fault; kibum had simply lost control of the wheel.
the students at school understand that it wasn't his fault; kibum was known for going too fast.
the student counselor (minho, taemin reminds himself, it's minho) offers a card to him and says to come by anytime if he needs it. (if taemin called him, would he still be in school?)
the student president (jinki, taemin has to remind himself, this is jinki) is somber; kibum and him were friends. (but were they almost lovers, taemin wonders bitterly)
eventually taemin just snaps; falling into a screaming and sobbing mess in the middle of math class (effectively silencing jonghyun's tangent about fractions and decimals); he's taken to the hospital and put into a pristine-white room with nice doctors and nurses. they all dote on him (but they would love kibum more) and occasionally bring him treats when it's called for. he takes them, along with his medicine, and goes through therapy with even more pills and coping techniques. he winds up winging it and is back in time to graduate (though with seven panic attacks included in the month) with everyone.
months later, taemin realizes what the colour red was all this time: it was kibum whispering "i love you" through crimson lips, smiling a (beautiful, still) bloody smile before slipping into perminante unconciousness.
at this taemin cries; because he remembered the one colour he hated the most in one of the best ways possible: the memory of kim kibum.
inspired by a nightmare I had, brought on by Fatal Frame 3. angst, character death.
x-posted to shinee_replay
violet and stunning: this is the colour that taemin first sees in kibum’s hair when he meets him. kibum is smiling and he brushes his (obnoxious and stupid; taemin thinks, but he’s a good little child) bangs out of his eyes, before asking if he wanted to play with him. taemin isn’t sure how to say no, (or maybe he’s desperate for some form of socalization away from home) and so they play together in the garden. kibum picks some flowers for him and puts them in his hair, calling him cute and special. it makes taemin blush and he leaves only when the sun starts setting, mulling over things in his mind.
indigo is the colour of his journal: his dreams, his hopes, his nightmares and fears; his entire life is stretched across the pages. they're old and tattered and some have even been held together with thread and botched sewing tactics (kibum laughs when he sees it, but quickly shoots taemin an understanding glance), but it's still special to him. his entire soul is stretched across these pages, decorated with splotches and patches of ink; failed letters or notes that didn't quite make it. the doctors vigorously examine the drippings every day, hoping to find some sort of answer behind them.
blue is the book that kibum gave him; a photo album of them being silly. taemin didn't figure the other had a knack for photography, but he grew to learn small things like that about kim kibum; such as he doesn't like heights at all (taemin remembers when he clung to him as they were climbing train tracks, remembers feeling kibum's racing heart and holding him to whisper soothing words), or how he crinkles up his nose when he doesn't like something (or he's thinking really hard). it's at this point he realizes that he could possibly love kim kibum.
green and cracked; these are the walls seared into his mind from their trip to a supposidly haunted house, familiar from the times they sat together on the couch and taemin confessed his never ending nightmares, sobbing into kibum's chest and finally passing out when he couldn't take it anymore. the visions, the monsters, the pain, the loss, the fears he had - but already kibum knew them all. taemin never figured out how or why, but he let himself be held close to kibum's chest. he nuzzles into it, soft sighs escaping from him as kibum threads his fingers through his hair.
yellow is the colour of the schoolbook he's given come the new term; to bury himself in normal events, to try to live a normal life, to belong somewhere. it's quickly retired to the back of the closet because he hardly goes outside anymore, despite the doctors telling him that "it'll be good for you". he doesn't want to go outside without kibum, taemin explains to the doctors, who shake their heads at him and scribble something on their paperwork. taemin often buries his face into the pillow and screams after every session.
orange is the other half of the hairclip he has - a best friend's present, honestly. kibum was always the strange one, collecting seashells or broken bottles or whatever his fingers touched really (his house was completely stuffed with everything he collected), and the orange hair clip was no exception.
("it's a best friend present, taeminnie," he explains, threading it through a piece of taemin's hair with a smile on his face. "i take one, you take the other, we hold onto it forever." and taemin just nods, smiling and laughing because he's happy with kibum.)
red's the one colour taemin doesn't explain, can't explain: because red can be anything. red can be the swollen lips after kibum had finally worked up the courage to kiss him and the many kisses they shared that night. red can be the rotting clothes that were buried throughout the house; once pretty artifacts that were now discoloured through time. red can be the sweatshirt taemin refuses to take off because it's what kibum was wearing the last time he saw him; it can also be the colour on the milky glass pieces he's kept tucked away in a special spot carved out in his journal.
red can be anything, but it's really only one thing in this case. (or several, but taemin isn't going to admit that.)
red is the only colour taemin could see, splashed and smeared all over the glass and twisted metal. and taemin comes to a few moments later, realizing that people aren't supposed to bend that way, and that red definitely doesn't suit him in his hair as well as does the human body have this much blood? so all he can really do is hold kibum until the ambulance arrives, feeling the other's pulse slowly tick away and grip slowly grow weaker and weaker.
the doctors tell him that the car crash wasn't his fault; kibum had simply lost control of the wheel.
the students at school understand that it wasn't his fault; kibum was known for going too fast.
the student counselor (minho, taemin reminds himself, it's minho) offers a card to him and says to come by anytime if he needs it. (if taemin called him, would he still be in school?)
the student president (jinki, taemin has to remind himself, this is jinki) is somber; kibum and him were friends. (but were they almost lovers, taemin wonders bitterly)
eventually taemin just snaps; falling into a screaming and sobbing mess in the middle of math class (effectively silencing jonghyun's tangent about fractions and decimals); he's taken to the hospital and put into a pristine-white room with nice doctors and nurses. they all dote on him (but they would love kibum more) and occasionally bring him treats when it's called for. he takes them, along with his medicine, and goes through therapy with even more pills and coping techniques. he winds up winging it and is back in time to graduate (though with seven panic attacks included in the month) with everyone.
months later, taemin realizes what the colour red was all this time: it was kibum whispering "i love you" through crimson lips, smiling a (beautiful, still) bloody smile before slipping into perminante unconciousness.
at this taemin cries; because he remembered the one colour he hated the most in one of the best ways possible: the memory of kim kibum.