lose control ; onew/taemin
lose control; NC-17 [1/x]
a/n: the minho bit is from indelible_x. fixed as of 04/23. onesided!ontae.
warnings: drug use & sex.
Taemin is sixteen this summer break; it's something he's been looking forward to for a long time. Because at sixteen, there's this club he can finally go to and just dance in. He's never felt more free, more alive than feeling each beat slide and skitter in his veins. It's what he was wants to do, he tells his parents in a pleading voice, it's what he was born to do.
They just smile and shake their heads, pressuring him to do well in mathematics ("Can't you be more like that Jinki fellow? Second in all his class!" and Taemin just stares sadly at them and says "yes, umma", like the good child he was raised to be) especially; all those boring classes.
"Can't you be good at something?" is one of the most commonly uttered phrases in the Lee household. (Taemin just sighs and accepts this, smiling like it doesn't affect him at all. Every night, he practices dancing in lieu for equations and formulas, because it's what he wants to do and it's what makes him happy.)
He sneaks out one night and follows an alleyway, leading to a hidden building, smiling at the bouncer outside and slipping in. Music echos all over, and it seems like it changes in tempo just for him. When Taemin dances, he forgets everything - his nagging parents, the failing grades in school that he hid from them, the pressure to do well; literally everything. It's a natural high, one he loves to never disturb.
Sneaking back in right before the sun rises is common for him; and he begins falling asleep in class, much to the teacher's dismain and Jinki's horror.
"Keep this up and you'll have summer school, Taemin-ah!" Jinki hisses the next day in Calculus, gently jabbing his side. Taemin pretends not to hear him, falling out of his chair with a soft snore and curling into a small ball.
"Yah, turn on the heater," he sleepily mumbles, kicking Jinki's ankle in response. Jinki sighs, puts up his hand and asks the request, ignoring the giggles of their classmates.
---
They get their grades back, and Taemin's almost shredding his on the spot because it's all poor marks really; but what a surprise. Dancing has been taking most of his energy out. Jinki just pats his shoulder and squeezes it in affection, flitting off to talk with the honour roll (naturally, being around Lee Taemin would do something to your intelligence, Taemin assumes when he sees Jinki leave), with the group he belongs in.
Taemin decides to leave school early, hitting up the usual club - even during the daytime, there's music to dance to, and someone passing him a cup of a citrusy sharp beverage ("A screwdriver," the blonde responded with a grin when Taemin asks what it is) into his hands.
He drinks it in the bathroom of all places, sitting on the counter and thinking how he really should pull up his grades; summer school is sounding horrible and would definitely cut into his routines. Energy drinks are starting to do little to nothing for him -in fact, he's gained about ten pounds; Jinki seems to enjoy pinching his cheeks more and more-, and...
He's cut short by a giggle coming from one of the stalls and suddenly a teen stumbles out. Taemin stares at him for a moment trying to place a name, before he remembers - this is Kibum; one of the upper grade students. Kibum's eyes however are glazed over and he's long gone, stumbling over to Taemin with a giggle and grabbing his cup, draining the rest of it.
They stare at each other for a moment before Kibum's smile widens to Cheshire proportions, grabbing Taemin's hand and leading him to a small mirror inside the stall on the toilet tank that's been placed on the toilet itself where white powder is perfectly lined up in four even rows.
(Because Kibum's always been neat; this much Taemin knows about him..)
"What's this?"
"I heard about you. You want to stay awake and pass, right?"
"...Yeah, I guess I have to; summer school doesn't sound good. That Minho kid has repeated it six times."
"That Minho kid is a pretty cool guy, don't diss him." Kibum slurs out, and Taemin notices he's talking about six miles a minute; only slightly fast for him. "We hang in bathrooms together and talk, a lot. Lots of talking, yeah."
"...Right," Taemin responds, looking at Kibum with a quirked eyebrow. "So..."
"You just basically snort it, Taemin. It's not rocket science, it's cocaine. Or is this ecstasy? I don't even know, but it's really good; and it's not heroin, so..."
Taemin hesitates - somewhere in the back of his mind he hears Jinki clucking his tongue in disapproval; sees the worry in his eyes. He's read about this, he's heard stories, hell wasn't there some movie where someone got hooked on it and --
"I don't know..."
"Suit yourself," Kibum shrugs, producing a small straw from behind his ear, kneeling down and snorting another line with all the simplicity of answering a text message.
Taemin hesitates one last time, and opens his palm to Kibum, also kneeling down. "Give me the straw."
Kibum just grins and hands it to him. "Take it slow, Mint." Taemin's thrown off by the sudden nickname, but never questions it; since he's heard too much about the other. He places it at the end of a line and snorts, nearly coughing it all out in the floor while Kibum is leaning against the wall laughing at him like it is the funniest thing he's ever seen.
And he feels it within moments, pupils dilating and a long sigh escaping him. When Kibum touches his cheek it's the most brilliant thing ever. When Kibum's lips are touching his, it's the most fantastic experience he's ever had.
He spends the next hour or so making out with Kibum; painting bruises all over the other's neck and tasting blood a good few times, and it's the best hour he's ever spent of his lifetime. He finally feels alive, like this is the extra boost it gives him.
---
He gets home with a small baggie and instructions from Kibum written on a post-it in his wallet, greeting his parents enthusiastically and annoucing he was going to study. His mother stares at him in shock and starts weeping, and his father looks so proud of him.
"Jinki's over," his mother announces, "I made cookies for you two. He's up in your room."
"Not hungry right now," Taemin replies, taking the stairs two at a time, opening his door with a giggle and throwing himself on the bed. Jinki looks up from the edge of the bed, pushing his glasses up on his nose and getting up to shut the door, staring at Taemin before he comes back to sit on the bed.
"Lee Taemin. Where have you been?"
"Lee Jinki...hey...we have the same name..." Taemin flops on the floor and starts giggling uncontrollably.
"...Are you high?" Jinki hisses, leaning over him with several expressions playing on his face.
"No, I'm low. I'm on the ground. I'm rolling in a field."
"Not funny, Taemin. What is wrong with you?! I-"
Jinki however is cut off when Taemin's suddenly wobbling to his knees and pressing lips to the older male's chapped ones, nipping softly. And Jinki knows he can't resist it (he's been trying to for at least a year or so, especially when the other was sleeping), kissing the other back in some form of desperation.
Desperate for any form of Taemin's love.
Taemin sighs into the kiss and breaks it a moment later, a thin line of saliva connecting them. They stare at each other for a few minutes (and Jinki can see that Taemin's so far gone), breathing unevenly -
"T-taemin..."
"Shh, Jinki-yah," he whispers out, gently pushing him down on the bed and climbing into his lap. "I'll dance for you," he coos softly; and suddenly the elder can't say 'no'. He's sliding off his shirt instantly, twisting and rolling that lithe body to invisible beats and eyes never once leaving Jinki's wide ones. "It'll be special, okay?"
Suddenly he's sliding his back to Jinki's chest, arching close to his ear and whispering, "Are you enjoying this? It feels like you are...", sliding a hand down into Jinki's pants, mouth opening into a soft 'o' of surprise.
Jinki can't think anymore as suddenly Taemin's on his hands and knees in front of him, undoing and unzipping his pants and sliding down along with his boxers, licking his lips with a sensually feral smirk as he slides down the other's body, suddenly taking him into his mouth.
Taemin has never given a blowjob before, but during one of his many attempt-to-study-in-the-bathroom sessions, he'd heard Kibum a few times and could prettymuch guess the rest from there. But fuck, Jinki was just so big and it wouldn't all fit into his mouth...wasn't there something that Kibum had done in this situation; something about using the rest of your hand? He didn't remember; and now wasn't the time to remember.
So he relaxed his throat and slides Jinki in even more almost gagging, swatting his thigh when a loud gasp escapes Jinki (as well as preparing to tell his mother later that Jinki had accidentally stabbed himself with a pencil or something), telling him to be quiet in his own way. Jinki was lost in this haze of pleasure - his crush was on his knees in front of him (granted, high off his ass), giving him the most amazing blowjob ever. Soft slurping sounds filled the room as Taemin bobs his head up and down, tiny moans escaping from his throat as he's gently squeezing the other's balls with the hand that's slowly jerking him up and down.
And Jinki nearly gasps out at this tongue thing Taemin's doing - something with the flat part and the tip and twisting it all around and practically worshipping his dick - and nearly comes right there, but Taemin's quick to pull his mouth off and make an 'o' with his fingers, squeezing around the base of the other's cock.
"Fuck me. Now."
"W-what?" Jinki looks at him through pleasure hazed eyes laced with panic. "T-taemin, you can't..."
"Fuck me, Jinki." Taemin's way too far gone to really register the full comment of his words. And Jinki's battling with himself (always the logical one) before he realizes that Taemin is somehow missing his pants and is over him, grinning cheekily as he pulls fingers from behind him, slick with saliva and lotion. Jinki finds himself wondering how he missed Taemin fingering himself open, but finds it's better never to ask.
"If you don't fuck me, then I guess I'll just do it myself," comes the whisper, and Jinki resists the urge to moan as he feels Taemin lowering himself onto his length.
"Nnnnnngh, fuck, Taemin, shit."
Even though the pleasure of high, it was registering a fair bit of pain for the younger male - Jinki wasn't entirely small, after all. He ignores it and continues to sink even deeper until his thighs are on either side of Jinki and Taemin's pressing his sweaty forehead against Jinki's, inhaling his scent.
"Oh Taem," he whispers, pushing sticky bangs off his forehead and swiping a thumb over his lip, looking at him with aroused pity. "You're gone, so gone right now."
"It hurts," the younger male is whimpering out as he's immediately moving and riding the other. He soon finds that the hurt mingles into a pleasureable burn and then oh god, the most amazing feeling ever.
Jinki is kissing him, swallowing up his moans and groans but the slapping of flesh is forever imprinted into his brain. Taemin nearly loses it right there when he feels fingers wrap around his negelected erection, stroking it frantically to bring him one step closer to that elusive release.
After what seems an agonizing hour of torture he finally comes, Jinki deepening the kiss in an effort to drown out any noise, come splattering onto his chest. Jinki feels his own release triggered by Taemin's convulses, and he lets a shaky sigh escape him as he releases into Taemin.
He looks up at the sweaty and panting Taemin, smiling bitterly and reaching for tissues on the bedside table to wipe them both up with (and Taemin's suddenly now-bleeding nose), laying the younger male onto the bed and tossing the tissue into the nearby wastebin.
Within not even five minutes, Taemin's already dozing off; and Jinki stares at the rumpled bedsheets, pile of clothes, sweat cooling on their bodies. shouldn't this all mean something?
"I love you," he murmurs to the lump. "I always have."
"I know," comes the mumbled response. "I might too, one day."
Jinki just smiles bitterly, flopping down on the small couch across the room and watching the younger male. "Test tomorrow in calculus."
"I'll be ready."
"You might have to do summer school after all."
"Jinki, I got this; just shut the fuck up and let me sleep."
Jinki's mouth drops in surprise and shock before he turns off the light, keeping a wary eye on Taemin; and understands him for once: trying so hard to please someone that can't be pleased. It's an empty feeling, and he smiles bitterly upon realization.
a/n: the minho bit is from indelible_x. fixed as of 04/23. onesided!ontae.
warnings: drug use & sex.
Taemin is sixteen this summer break; it's something he's been looking forward to for a long time. Because at sixteen, there's this club he can finally go to and just dance in. He's never felt more free, more alive than feeling each beat slide and skitter in his veins. It's what he was wants to do, he tells his parents in a pleading voice, it's what he was born to do.
They just smile and shake their heads, pressuring him to do well in mathematics ("Can't you be more like that Jinki fellow? Second in all his class!" and Taemin just stares sadly at them and says "yes, umma", like the good child he was raised to be) especially; all those boring classes.
"Can't you be good at something?" is one of the most commonly uttered phrases in the Lee household. (Taemin just sighs and accepts this, smiling like it doesn't affect him at all. Every night, he practices dancing in lieu for equations and formulas, because it's what he wants to do and it's what makes him happy.)
He sneaks out one night and follows an alleyway, leading to a hidden building, smiling at the bouncer outside and slipping in. Music echos all over, and it seems like it changes in tempo just for him. When Taemin dances, he forgets everything - his nagging parents, the failing grades in school that he hid from them, the pressure to do well; literally everything. It's a natural high, one he loves to never disturb.
Sneaking back in right before the sun rises is common for him; and he begins falling asleep in class, much to the teacher's dismain and Jinki's horror.
"Keep this up and you'll have summer school, Taemin-ah!" Jinki hisses the next day in Calculus, gently jabbing his side. Taemin pretends not to hear him, falling out of his chair with a soft snore and curling into a small ball.
"Yah, turn on the heater," he sleepily mumbles, kicking Jinki's ankle in response. Jinki sighs, puts up his hand and asks the request, ignoring the giggles of their classmates.
---
They get their grades back, and Taemin's almost shredding his on the spot because it's all poor marks really; but what a surprise. Dancing has been taking most of his energy out. Jinki just pats his shoulder and squeezes it in affection, flitting off to talk with the honour roll (naturally, being around Lee Taemin would do something to your intelligence, Taemin assumes when he sees Jinki leave), with the group he belongs in.
Taemin decides to leave school early, hitting up the usual club - even during the daytime, there's music to dance to, and someone passing him a cup of a citrusy sharp beverage ("A screwdriver," the blonde responded with a grin when Taemin asks what it is) into his hands.
He drinks it in the bathroom of all places, sitting on the counter and thinking how he really should pull up his grades; summer school is sounding horrible and would definitely cut into his routines. Energy drinks are starting to do little to nothing for him -in fact, he's gained about ten pounds; Jinki seems to enjoy pinching his cheeks more and more-, and...
He's cut short by a giggle coming from one of the stalls and suddenly a teen stumbles out. Taemin stares at him for a moment trying to place a name, before he remembers - this is Kibum; one of the upper grade students. Kibum's eyes however are glazed over and he's long gone, stumbling over to Taemin with a giggle and grabbing his cup, draining the rest of it.
They stare at each other for a moment before Kibum's smile widens to Cheshire proportions, grabbing Taemin's hand and leading him to a small mirror inside the stall on the toilet tank that's been placed on the toilet itself where white powder is perfectly lined up in four even rows.
(Because Kibum's always been neat; this much Taemin knows about him..)
"What's this?"
"I heard about you. You want to stay awake and pass, right?"
"...Yeah, I guess I have to; summer school doesn't sound good. That Minho kid has repeated it six times."
"That Minho kid is a pretty cool guy, don't diss him." Kibum slurs out, and Taemin notices he's talking about six miles a minute; only slightly fast for him. "We hang in bathrooms together and talk, a lot. Lots of talking, yeah."
"...Right," Taemin responds, looking at Kibum with a quirked eyebrow. "So..."
"You just basically snort it, Taemin. It's not rocket science, it's cocaine. Or is this ecstasy? I don't even know, but it's really good; and it's not heroin, so..."
Taemin hesitates - somewhere in the back of his mind he hears Jinki clucking his tongue in disapproval; sees the worry in his eyes. He's read about this, he's heard stories, hell wasn't there some movie where someone got hooked on it and --
"I don't know..."
"Suit yourself," Kibum shrugs, producing a small straw from behind his ear, kneeling down and snorting another line with all the simplicity of answering a text message.
Taemin hesitates one last time, and opens his palm to Kibum, also kneeling down. "Give me the straw."
Kibum just grins and hands it to him. "Take it slow, Mint." Taemin's thrown off by the sudden nickname, but never questions it; since he's heard too much about the other. He places it at the end of a line and snorts, nearly coughing it all out in the floor while Kibum is leaning against the wall laughing at him like it is the funniest thing he's ever seen.
And he feels it within moments, pupils dilating and a long sigh escaping him. When Kibum touches his cheek it's the most brilliant thing ever. When Kibum's lips are touching his, it's the most fantastic experience he's ever had.
He spends the next hour or so making out with Kibum; painting bruises all over the other's neck and tasting blood a good few times, and it's the best hour he's ever spent of his lifetime. He finally feels alive, like this is the extra boost it gives him.
---
He gets home with a small baggie and instructions from Kibum written on a post-it in his wallet, greeting his parents enthusiastically and annoucing he was going to study. His mother stares at him in shock and starts weeping, and his father looks so proud of him.
"Jinki's over," his mother announces, "I made cookies for you two. He's up in your room."
"Not hungry right now," Taemin replies, taking the stairs two at a time, opening his door with a giggle and throwing himself on the bed. Jinki looks up from the edge of the bed, pushing his glasses up on his nose and getting up to shut the door, staring at Taemin before he comes back to sit on the bed.
"Lee Taemin. Where have you been?"
"Lee Jinki...hey...we have the same name..." Taemin flops on the floor and starts giggling uncontrollably.
"...Are you high?" Jinki hisses, leaning over him with several expressions playing on his face.
"No, I'm low. I'm on the ground. I'm rolling in a field."
"Not funny, Taemin. What is wrong with you?! I-"
Jinki however is cut off when Taemin's suddenly wobbling to his knees and pressing lips to the older male's chapped ones, nipping softly. And Jinki knows he can't resist it (he's been trying to for at least a year or so, especially when the other was sleeping), kissing the other back in some form of desperation.
Desperate for any form of Taemin's love.
Taemin sighs into the kiss and breaks it a moment later, a thin line of saliva connecting them. They stare at each other for a few minutes (and Jinki can see that Taemin's so far gone), breathing unevenly -
"T-taemin..."
"Shh, Jinki-yah," he whispers out, gently pushing him down on the bed and climbing into his lap. "I'll dance for you," he coos softly; and suddenly the elder can't say 'no'. He's sliding off his shirt instantly, twisting and rolling that lithe body to invisible beats and eyes never once leaving Jinki's wide ones. "It'll be special, okay?"
Suddenly he's sliding his back to Jinki's chest, arching close to his ear and whispering, "Are you enjoying this? It feels like you are...", sliding a hand down into Jinki's pants, mouth opening into a soft 'o' of surprise.
Jinki can't think anymore as suddenly Taemin's on his hands and knees in front of him, undoing and unzipping his pants and sliding down along with his boxers, licking his lips with a sensually feral smirk as he slides down the other's body, suddenly taking him into his mouth.
Taemin has never given a blowjob before, but during one of his many attempt-to-study-in-the-bathroom sessions, he'd heard Kibum a few times and could prettymuch guess the rest from there. But fuck, Jinki was just so big and it wouldn't all fit into his mouth...wasn't there something that Kibum had done in this situation; something about using the rest of your hand? He didn't remember; and now wasn't the time to remember.
So he relaxed his throat and slides Jinki in even more almost gagging, swatting his thigh when a loud gasp escapes Jinki (as well as preparing to tell his mother later that Jinki had accidentally stabbed himself with a pencil or something), telling him to be quiet in his own way. Jinki was lost in this haze of pleasure - his crush was on his knees in front of him (granted, high off his ass), giving him the most amazing blowjob ever. Soft slurping sounds filled the room as Taemin bobs his head up and down, tiny moans escaping from his throat as he's gently squeezing the other's balls with the hand that's slowly jerking him up and down.
And Jinki nearly gasps out at this tongue thing Taemin's doing - something with the flat part and the tip and twisting it all around and practically worshipping his dick - and nearly comes right there, but Taemin's quick to pull his mouth off and make an 'o' with his fingers, squeezing around the base of the other's cock.
"Fuck me. Now."
"W-what?" Jinki looks at him through pleasure hazed eyes laced with panic. "T-taemin, you can't..."
"Fuck me, Jinki." Taemin's way too far gone to really register the full comment of his words. And Jinki's battling with himself (always the logical one) before he realizes that Taemin is somehow missing his pants and is over him, grinning cheekily as he pulls fingers from behind him, slick with saliva and lotion. Jinki finds himself wondering how he missed Taemin fingering himself open, but finds it's better never to ask.
"If you don't fuck me, then I guess I'll just do it myself," comes the whisper, and Jinki resists the urge to moan as he feels Taemin lowering himself onto his length.
"Nnnnnngh, fuck, Taemin, shit."
Even though the pleasure of high, it was registering a fair bit of pain for the younger male - Jinki wasn't entirely small, after all. He ignores it and continues to sink even deeper until his thighs are on either side of Jinki and Taemin's pressing his sweaty forehead against Jinki's, inhaling his scent.
"Oh Taem," he whispers, pushing sticky bangs off his forehead and swiping a thumb over his lip, looking at him with aroused pity. "You're gone, so gone right now."
"It hurts," the younger male is whimpering out as he's immediately moving and riding the other. He soon finds that the hurt mingles into a pleasureable burn and then oh god, the most amazing feeling ever.
Jinki is kissing him, swallowing up his moans and groans but the slapping of flesh is forever imprinted into his brain. Taemin nearly loses it right there when he feels fingers wrap around his negelected erection, stroking it frantically to bring him one step closer to that elusive release.
After what seems an agonizing hour of torture he finally comes, Jinki deepening the kiss in an effort to drown out any noise, come splattering onto his chest. Jinki feels his own release triggered by Taemin's convulses, and he lets a shaky sigh escape him as he releases into Taemin.
He looks up at the sweaty and panting Taemin, smiling bitterly and reaching for tissues on the bedside table to wipe them both up with (and Taemin's suddenly now-bleeding nose), laying the younger male onto the bed and tossing the tissue into the nearby wastebin.
Within not even five minutes, Taemin's already dozing off; and Jinki stares at the rumpled bedsheets, pile of clothes, sweat cooling on their bodies. shouldn't this all mean something?
"I love you," he murmurs to the lump. "I always have."
"I know," comes the mumbled response. "I might too, one day."
Jinki just smiles bitterly, flopping down on the small couch across the room and watching the younger male. "Test tomorrow in calculus."
"I'll be ready."
"You might have to do summer school after all."
"Jinki, I got this; just shut the fuck up and let me sleep."
Jinki's mouth drops in surprise and shock before he turns off the light, keeping a wary eye on Taemin; and understands him for once: trying so hard to please someone that can't be pleased. It's an empty feeling, and he smiles bitterly upon realization.