Why the hell does Jadakiss exist?
As many of you know, in the song 'Why', Jadakiss asks a boatload of questions. So, to save us all from trying to solve them, I've answered them for him.
Aha
It's dat real
(Ummm...)
Yo, why is Jadakiss as hard as it gets
(Maybe you didn’t take your ex-lax this morning?)
Why is the industry designed to keep the artist in dept
(It is? Why do you have so much money, then?)
And why them dudes ain't ridin' if there part of your set
(Umm... because they AREN’T part of my set. Nice one.)
And why they never get it poppin' but they party to death
(Got me there. Maybe they aren’t the poppin’ type. )
Yea, and why they gon give you life for a murder
(BECAUSE YOU KILLED SOMEONE!)
Turn around only give you eight months for a burner, it's goin down
(Umm... I would tell you if I knew what the hell you were saying)
Why they sellin' niggaz CD's for under a dime
(Because those niggaz need to get better agents. Duh.)
If it's all love daddy why you come wit your nine
(My nine rubs the lotion on its skin and does what it is told, that’s why.)
Why my niggaz ain't get that cake
(What cake? I’ll eat it. Oh, wait... umm...)
Why is a brother up North better than Jordan
That ain't get that break
(Maybe because they AREN’T better than Jordan.)
Why you ain't stackin' instead of tryin' to be fly
(Stackin’ is so last year, Jadakiss. Get with the program.)
Why is rattin' at an all time high
(I dunno... maybe because people don’t want to go to jail?)
Why are you even alive
(Umm... did you not earn this in sex ed? )
Why they kill Tupac n' Chris
(TUPAC’S NOT DEAD, DAMMIT! HE LIIIVVVEESSS!)
Why at the bar you ain't take straight shots instead of poppin Crist'
(I like Crist’ better? I'm not legal drinking age? I do neither?)
Why them bullets have to hit that door
(Because they did, that’s why.)
Why did Kobe have to hit that raw
(I dunno... his wife’s hot.)
Why he kiss that whore
(Maybe she was cheap? Got me.)
Why would niggaz push pounds and powder
(Don't look at me - I wouldn't know)
Why did bush knock down the towers
(Ummm... I don’t think I should dignify that with a response.)
Why you around them cowards
(Those cowards are my FRIENDS! Nobody loves them, everybody hates them... )
Why Aaliyah have to take that flight
(Umm... we’ve never heard of fate, have we?)
Why my nigga D ain't pull out his Ferrari
Why he take that bike
(Maybe his Ferrari was in the shop. Maybe it didn’t look as cool. Who knows.)
Why they gotta open your package and read your mail
(Umm... maybe it’s to make sure that your ass isn’t getting illegal substances in jail?)
Why they stop lettin' niggaz get degreez in jail
(Got me there. Please, tell me. If you’d just stop asking THESE GODDAMNED QUESTIONS!)
Why you gotta do eighty-five percent of your time
(Because you do. So suck it up.)
And why do niggaz lie in eighty-five percent of they rhymes
(You mean Chingy didn’t like it right thurr? I feel gypped.)
Why a nigga always want what he can't have
(Doesn’t everyone?)
Why I can't come through in the pecan Jag
(I don’t know. Have you ever tried before? That might work.)
Why did crack have to hit so hard
(Umm... what would you like me to say... I got it. WHITE MAN CONSPIRACY! Therewego. )
Even though it's almost over
(Thank you, Jadakiss. Now stop asking questions..)
Why niggaz can't get no jobs
(I said stop asking... )
Why they come up wit the witness protection
(DAMN! STOP IT!)
Why they let the terminator win the election
(Because he knows that the congress is full of girly-men)
Come on, pay attention
(I am... but you just suck at life.)
Why sell in the stores what you can sell in the streets
(Because newly-cleaned stores smell like pine-sol. And I like pine-sol.)
Why I say the hottest shit but we sellin' the least
(Maybe because your stuff isn’t the hottest. Jerk.)
Uh, yea, yo
THAT’S NOT A QUESTION! FINALLY!
Why Halle have to let a white man pop her to get a Oscar
(Umm... it’s called acting...)
Why Denzel have to be crooked before he took it
(Maybe because it was his best role? Just an idea...)
Why they didn't make the CL6 wit a clutch
(They did it to spite you.)
And if you don't smoke why the hell you reachin' for my dutch
(Got me there.)
Why rap, cause I need air time
(This is a little too much air time, don’t ya think?)
Why be on the curb wit a "while I" I need a bare sign
(Hmm... finally, a good one. Maybe because I don’t know what the hell you’re saying. )
Why all the young niggaz is dyin'
(Everyone dies, idiot.)
Cause they moms at work, they pops is gone, they livin' wit iron
(Okay... or they got caught in a car crash.)
Why they ain't give us a cure for aids
(Why don’t they give you a cure to stop rapping first?)
Why my diesel have fiends in the spot on the floor for days
(Because your diesel is lonely, that’s why.)
Why you screamin' like it's slug, it's only the hawk
(Hawks move faster than slugs do. We’re talking about animals, of course.)
Why my buzz in L.A. ain't like it is in New York
(BECAUSE LA ISN’T NEW YORK! Reason enough, I say.)
Why you forcin' you to be hard
[Me? Hard? (chortles, chokes, and dies)]
Why ain't you a thug by choice
(The same reason that I’m not hard... )
Why the whole world love my voice
(WE DON’T LOVE YOUR VOICE, JADAKISS. WE DON’T.)
Why try to tell 'em that it's the flow son
(Because it’s not the flow. You just annoy us in general.)
And you know why they made the new twenties
(Ummm... so that people couldn’t make counterfeit money?)
Cause I got all my old ones
(Really? That’s a half-assed reason.)
That's why
(No, that's not.)
Aha
It's dat real
(Ummm...)
Yo, why is Jadakiss as hard as it gets
(Maybe you didn’t take your ex-lax this morning?)
Why is the industry designed to keep the artist in dept
(It is? Why do you have so much money, then?)
And why them dudes ain't ridin' if there part of your set
(Umm... because they AREN’T part of my set. Nice one.)
And why they never get it poppin' but they party to death
(Got me there. Maybe they aren’t the poppin’ type. )
Yea, and why they gon give you life for a murder
(BECAUSE YOU KILLED SOMEONE!)
Turn around only give you eight months for a burner, it's goin down
(Umm... I would tell you if I knew what the hell you were saying)
Why they sellin' niggaz CD's for under a dime
(Because those niggaz need to get better agents. Duh.)
If it's all love daddy why you come wit your nine
(My nine rubs the lotion on its skin and does what it is told, that’s why.)
Why my niggaz ain't get that cake
(What cake? I’ll eat it. Oh, wait... umm...)
Why is a brother up North better than Jordan
That ain't get that break
(Maybe because they AREN’T better than Jordan.)
Why you ain't stackin' instead of tryin' to be fly
(Stackin’ is so last year, Jadakiss. Get with the program.)
Why is rattin' at an all time high
(I dunno... maybe because people don’t want to go to jail?)
Why are you even alive
(Umm... did you not earn this in sex ed? )
Why they kill Tupac n' Chris
(TUPAC’S NOT DEAD, DAMMIT! HE LIIIVVVEESSS!)
Why at the bar you ain't take straight shots instead of poppin Crist'
(I like Crist’ better? I'm not legal drinking age? I do neither?)
Why them bullets have to hit that door
(Because they did, that’s why.)
Why did Kobe have to hit that raw
(I dunno... his wife’s hot.)
Why he kiss that whore
(Maybe she was cheap? Got me.)
Why would niggaz push pounds and powder
(Don't look at me - I wouldn't know)
Why did bush knock down the towers
(Ummm... I don’t think I should dignify that with a response.)
Why you around them cowards
(Those cowards are my FRIENDS! Nobody loves them, everybody hates them... )
Why Aaliyah have to take that flight
(Umm... we’ve never heard of fate, have we?)
Why my nigga D ain't pull out his Ferrari
Why he take that bike
(Maybe his Ferrari was in the shop. Maybe it didn’t look as cool. Who knows.)
Why they gotta open your package and read your mail
(Umm... maybe it’s to make sure that your ass isn’t getting illegal substances in jail?)
Why they stop lettin' niggaz get degreez in jail
(Got me there. Please, tell me. If you’d just stop asking THESE GODDAMNED QUESTIONS!)
Why you gotta do eighty-five percent of your time
(Because you do. So suck it up.)
And why do niggaz lie in eighty-five percent of they rhymes
(You mean Chingy didn’t like it right thurr? I feel gypped.)
Why a nigga always want what he can't have
(Doesn’t everyone?)
Why I can't come through in the pecan Jag
(I don’t know. Have you ever tried before? That might work.)
Why did crack have to hit so hard
(Umm... what would you like me to say... I got it. WHITE MAN CONSPIRACY! Therewego. )
Even though it's almost over
(Thank you, Jadakiss. Now stop asking questions..)
Why niggaz can't get no jobs
(I said stop asking... )
Why they come up wit the witness protection
(DAMN! STOP IT!)
Why they let the terminator win the election
(Because he knows that the congress is full of girly-men)
Come on, pay attention
(I am... but you just suck at life.)
Why sell in the stores what you can sell in the streets
(Because newly-cleaned stores smell like pine-sol. And I like pine-sol.)
Why I say the hottest shit but we sellin' the least
(Maybe because your stuff isn’t the hottest. Jerk.)
Uh, yea, yo
THAT’S NOT A QUESTION! FINALLY!
Why Halle have to let a white man pop her to get a Oscar
(Umm... it’s called acting...)
Why Denzel have to be crooked before he took it
(Maybe because it was his best role? Just an idea...)
Why they didn't make the CL6 wit a clutch
(They did it to spite you.)
And if you don't smoke why the hell you reachin' for my dutch
(Got me there.)
Why rap, cause I need air time
(This is a little too much air time, don’t ya think?)
Why be on the curb wit a "while I" I need a bare sign
(Hmm... finally, a good one. Maybe because I don’t know what the hell you’re saying. )
Why all the young niggaz is dyin'
(Everyone dies, idiot.)
Cause they moms at work, they pops is gone, they livin' wit iron
(Okay... or they got caught in a car crash.)
Why they ain't give us a cure for aids
(Why don’t they give you a cure to stop rapping first?)
Why my diesel have fiends in the spot on the floor for days
(Because your diesel is lonely, that’s why.)
Why you screamin' like it's slug, it's only the hawk
(Hawks move faster than slugs do. We’re talking about animals, of course.)
Why my buzz in L.A. ain't like it is in New York
(BECAUSE LA ISN’T NEW YORK! Reason enough, I say.)
Why you forcin' you to be hard
[Me? Hard? (chortles, chokes, and dies)]
Why ain't you a thug by choice
(The same reason that I’m not hard... )
Why the whole world love my voice
(WE DON’T LOVE YOUR VOICE, JADAKISS. WE DON’T.)
Why try to tell 'em that it's the flow son
(Because it’s not the flow. You just annoy us in general.)
And you know why they made the new twenties
(Ummm... so that people couldn’t make counterfeit money?)
Cause I got all my old ones
(Really? That’s a half-assed reason.)
That's why
(No, that's not.)