Le Coeur Bleu

[marth_of_altea]

Le Coeur Bleu [The Azure Heart]

[written by Marth_of_Altea]

The pale light of a full moon shone through the castle's curtained windows. Prince Marth of Altea stood in the dimly lit room, his pale and perfect silhouette illuminated slightly by the moonlight.

Although Marth was determined to complete the task that lay before him, he was nervous and

Comments

[insanishvikkixd]

T-that... was... sexy! <3 And my icon supports you~

[animallovenr1]

Thank you hehe <3

Glad you liked our story ^^

[kurai007]

It was a little rough, and somethings *could* use a lot of work--but this has potential, that's for sure. This was better than MY first yaoi story, haha. XD

Yeah, detail is what you need. I can't stand superfluous detail, but when it comes to smut/lemons/lime, description can take you very far.

This kiss, for sure, can seem more passionate if you described the feeling more. Though, you know, I guess you could get bored in the middle of writing all that. Haha; that, and the sex needs more detail. But it's not really NECESSARY because, if this isn't rated NC-17, but R...I think what you have is almost enough.

Your personification of both Marth and Ike are different from how they actually are in their games (more so about Ike's, because I still need to finish Marth's game. Lulz luzl, I'm too lazy), but HEY! This is Super Smash Bros fandom, so whatever personality you got for them can fly. =D

Oh Lord, I'm confusing, aren't I? ;; I liked this, though. And keep writing slash! I'd love to see more from you~

yupyup

[xxchupachupsxx]

it was great, actually for a first-timer lol
superfluos, too detailed that I'm nagging - -; that's me...
try to slow down the pace a bit