(no subject)
Monday, April 23, 2007
New York
Start spreading the news... I've been to New York!
It's a place I've always wanted to go to. Me and Tish used to plan to do it every year but things always got in the way. Work and stuff.
The Big A is everything you'd expect it to be and so much more. It's really brilliant. It's full of lights and music and madness. Oh, and sewers! Yeah, ever the glamour girl, I've been into the sewers. No alligators though. Just... well, worse things.
We saw the Statue of Liberty and went to Central Park - but it wasn't exactly like it is on Friends what with it being 1930! It's strange how I've already got used to the whole concept of being in a different year. I mean, it's still completely mad but, yeah, I'm definitely getting the hang of this time travel thing.
Worst bit: The Daleks. I'll tell you more about them next time but they're not good, let's put it that way.
Best bit: We went to this theatre and I went on stage and sort of danced with a bunch of showgirls - jazz hands!!
One of the girls was called Tallulah (three 'l's, one 'h'). She was great. She reminded me a bit of the people we met in the space traffic jam thing. Things weren't brilliant for her. She was skint and her bloke had disappeared but she wasn't letting it get to her. She was totally full of hope and that. And, also, even though she was probably the same age as me, she's really in love and it's weird because I've never properly felt that for anyone. I mean, I've had what my mum calls 'distractions' in the past but never anything truly heavy or whatever. And now I'm starting to feel these things that just make everything else seem so... unimportant. Oh, I'm so deep, me J
So yeah anyway, New York was brilliant and mad but, like London, full of the homeless and, trust me, I'm feeling dead guilty right now about all those times I lied to that Big Issue seller about having no change. I think when you've had an oh-so-perfect, lovely middle-class upbringing like me, you kind of don't see the homeless as... well, not people but you don't see them as people like you. You can't imagine that such a thing would ever happen to you so they must have done something to end up like that. And I know that's sounds so horrible but when you're running late for work and that, they're just kind of in the way. In New York, though, I spent some time with a bunch of homeless guys and they'd been like us once. No, that's wrong - they still were like us. They were still... human. Unlike some of the others I met...
So yeah, New York. Mad and brilliant and a little bit sad. Haha - a bit like the Doctor!
Actually, that's not funny because he's really down at the moment. Because of the Daleks and what they did.....
2:41 AM
Monday, April 16, 2007
The Doctor
Isn't it funny how you don't really find out much about a person until you're both standing still?
Since I met the Doctor it's been all go. We really haven't stopped moving but today we got stuck in traffic. Of course, it was space-age traffic millions of years into the future. And unlike normal traffic jams it was all a bit freaky - brilliant and terrifying. It was so scary, in fact, that afterwards I briefly thought about asking the Doctor to take me home. It was the darkest thing I've been through since I thought we were all going to suffocate in the hospital and in some ways this was even worse because nobody would have known where I was. I was totally alone.
But it was also - I'm trying to think of a better word than beautiful but that's exactly what it was. Think about the first time you went into a church and multiply it by a thousand and you might be halfway there. There were all these people who were trapped in like the grimmest situation possible but they weren't letting it get them down. They had such real hope and faith. I've honestly never seen anything like it. And even though they were all trapped and alone like me, somehow they were like reaching out to each other and refusing to be alone. They just wouldn't give up. And yeah I know this all sounds a bit joss stick-y but it was the most amazing thing I think I've ever felt.
And it made me wonder just who this bloke is. So I asked him and I found out why he's alone. Nearly everyone he knew died in a big war. He's the last of his race is how he says it, but that's just a bit glib - I'm trying to imagine losing my family, my friends, everyone you've ever seen on telly. Them all just being gone. I don't think I could cope.
And to top it all, today he saw one of his oldest friends die. This alien thing called the Face of Boe (and to think when I was growing up, I complained about being called Martha) just died after waiting years to say goodbye to the Doctor. And it was so sad but kind of beautiful and it made me wonder just how many people the Doctor's lost in his life.
And I know I've complained about how noisy my life can be but his... well, I can see why he lives the life he does. He's filling it with noise because I think he'd go mad if he didn't. Thing is, if I hadn't got him to tell me about who he really is, I maybe would have asked to go home but I can't now. I mean, I've been seeing all this as just the biggest most exciting thing in my life but it isn't just that. He needs me. Yeah, he reckons he prefers to be alone but I know he needs me. Of course, he might be a Time Lord with two hearts but he's still basically a bloke so he can't say it. And he'd get all embarrassed if I said anything so I reckon what I've got to do is make it seem like it's his idea. I've got to make him ask me to stay. Because I don't think he'd cope on his own. And because behind all the madness, he's basically a real decent bloke.
Oh, and in case you're reaching for the sick bags because you think I've gone all deep and emotional and stuff, today I also met a talking cat - a cat who was a nun! Which was fun. So there!
2:25 AM
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Shakespeare!
Do you believe in magic? Because you won't believe where I am... and 'when' I am!
The Doctor came back for me. After Leo's party. He just turned up and offered me a trip in his time machine. Okay, some of you will be laughing but come on, after everything that's happened over the last few years - Saxon shooting down that big alien deathstar thing, the Cybermen - it's not that mad to suggest there's such a thing as time travel, is it? Or do you still believe it was drugs in the water? Go look online. It's easy enough to find the real answers if you ask the right questions.
So, yeah, he came back and he offered me the chance to go on a trip. Trip's the wrong word - makes it sound like a school trip and this is so much more! So off we went... BACK TO 1599!!!! And we met WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE!!!
Okay, I'll calm down but seriously, it was mental. I was there. Eating and drinking and sleeping in 1599. I actually breathed in the air of 16th Century London! You see period dramas and stuff on telly but this was different. It was so real. The people there were real. It wasn't all stiff and 'forsooth, thou dost whatever'. The people were just like us.
Especially Will. Oh, he was fit! Who'd have thought it? William Shakespeare is sexy! And maybe just a little bit of a prat J But there's nothing wrong with that.
The thing is, I studied Shakespeare at school. We even went on a trip to Stratford to see As You Like It (which is meant to be a comedy but the version we saw was like an EastEnders omnibus). I couldn't stand it. Our teachers just made it all so dull. They made it seem like "Shakespeare" is this big, serious, intellectual thing when really it isn't. It's one bloke who had this completely magical power to use words to make something beautiful and exciting. And it so isn't intellectual. I mean it's amazing stuff but it isn't this elitist thing just for the clever people. If he were around now, he'd be writing for BBC1 not BBC4. I was there! I saw it. It was for the masses. It is for the masses! It's big and magical and sexy! And as soon as I get back, I'm taking the family to see one of his plays. Maybe Macbeth aka The One With The Witches.
Sorry if this is all a bit incoherent and full of exclamation marks but you know what? I'm on holiday - possibly the best holiday anyone's ever been on.
And for those of you who don't believe any of this, as the great man once said...
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
And believe me, there are so many more things in heaven and earth. Especially him. The Doctor. I'm still not sure how to describe him. He's the most amazing, brilliant, annoying man I've ever met. He's like heaven and earth all rolled up in tight trousers.
So, yeah, I guess I believe in magic because that's how I'd describe him. And if he thinks he's getting rid of me now, he'd better think again!
1:50 PM
Saturday, March 31, 2007
...
Current mood: shocked
Okay. Trying to find the words to describe today. Odd. Terrifying. Brilliant. Mad.
You'll have seen it on the news, of course. The Royal Hope disappearing and then coming back. Firstly, don't listen to what they're saying. We weren't drugged. We DID go to the moon. It's funny, I'm looking up at it now and remembering what it was like to be there and look down at the Earth and... I don't know... it's like it was all a dream. I've tried phoning Julia but she's still really messed up by it all. It's like there's nobody I can talk to about what happened. So hooray for the blog!
Well I say there's nobody I can talk to but there is one man. But he's gone. He disappeared just after we came back. Yeah, he's gone.
So what happened? I might as well tell you although you'll think I'm mad. Basically (haha!) there was this old woman who was actually an alien and these intergalactic alien police were looking for her so they took the whole hospital to the moon because it's neutral territory and they were trying to find her but because she looked like a human the alien police had to scan us all and we were running out of air and we were all going to die and... one man saved us. I mean, I helped but he was something else. He called himself the Doctor but he wasn't a doctor, he was an alien. And he was brilliant. And, okay, I know this'll sound crazy what with everything I've been through but I'm actually really annoyed with him right now because he left. He saved us all and then just left without even saying goodbye and... no, before anyone starts posting stupid comments, I didn't fancy him or anything. I mean to be honest, he was a bit geeky and, obviously as an alien, he was well strange but... I thought we connected. And then he just left.
And he leaves me here. I'm here, in my flat. Getting ready for Leo's birthday and it's like for everyone else, none of it really happened. I know that I'll get to the party and everyone will be asking me about it all but then the conversation will change to whatever mad dress Annalise is wearing or about how cute Keisha is and I'll be forgotten. Still, I guess that's life, really. No use getting down about it. I mean, I could have died on the moon today so it could have been worse ? And, if I can survive today then Leo's party should be easy! So, yeah. I'm just going to enjoy myself and try to forget about him.
But if you're reading this, Doctor. Then at least come back and say goodbye. That's all I'm asking.
12:35 PM
Thursday, March 29, 2007
The calm before the storm...
Current mood: calm
Stoker managed to make Morgenstern cry today. It's like he actually wants us to fail. He just never gives us enough time to think. He asked Morgenstern a question about a patient's chart. M's glasses were steamed up so he took them off to clean them. At which point, Stoker stormed off telling us to wait there. Then, he was back. With a pair of binoculars. He asked M if these would help and that perhaps he should consider laser surgery on his eyes so that patients don't start entering the next life while he's polishing his cheap glasses. When M started to cry, Stoker actually smiled as if he'd won some kind of competition. I was so mad, I took the chart from M and said that I would take this patient and he could take the next one which would give him a minute to sort out his glasses. I mean, M might be a geek but he doesn't deserve that treatment. I think Stoker just gets off on the power.
Other that that, it's been a day spent on the phone. It's Leo's 21st tomorrow. And, knowing my family, it won't exactly be a nice quiet civilised soiree. I've had Tish on the phone for over an hour suggesting ways we can keep Mum and Annalise apart. Mum saying that she won't be there if 'that girl' is there. Dad saying he won't be there if he can't bring Annalise. And so on and so on. In the end I told them all my battery was dying and that I had to go but that I'd speak to them in the morning. Then I switched off my mobile, pulled down the blinds, put away my text books and got myself a mug of hot chocolate. And I'm officially having A Night Off.
And I've realised that I what I really need is a holiday. It doesn't matter where I go but I could just do with a break from being me. A break from work and studying and trying to keep my family together and trying to keep Stoker happy and waaaah! Ooh, I haven't said 'waaaah!' in years - things must be bad! I mean, it's all fine really. Everything's great and that but maybe a little breather would be nice. Or maybe Dad's right, perish the thought, and I need to find myself a bloke J
So, no doubt in the morning, I'll have Tish on the phone going on about her new job and then Mum going on about Annalise and then Julia asking me whether she should give Steve another chance and, yeah I'm going to say it again - waaaah!
But, just for tonight - for one night only - Martha Jones is having a very quiet and brilliantly boring evening. I've done my washing so there's knickers on the radiator and socks in the sink. I'm a real lady, me. I've wrapped Leo's present (he wanted a Playstation but he's getting a toaster). I've got myself a glass of wine and I'm curled up on the sofa watching Saxon winding up Paxman on Newsnight. Then it's off to get a good night's sleep before it all kicks off again in the morning. The calm before the storm!
3:00 PM
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
An odd day.
Current mood: numb
Today was a bit odd.
Julia has split up with her fiancé, Steve. At lunchtime I took her to our local coffee shop so she could have a moan about it all. In one way it was nice that she feels I'm the person she can talk to but it also reminded me of my old mate Vicky. Vicky would always come to me for advice about her men, and as Julia sat there, crying into her latte, I realised that I was responding in exactly the same way. Asking her how she felt. Asking her what she wanted. Agreeing that he wasn't worth it. Just never telling her what I really thought because that's not really what she wants to hear. It's completely one-sided.
So this thing with Julia got me thinking. Do we always attract the same type of friends? Wherever I go in life, am I going to end up with a best mate who isn't really interested in what I think but sees me as some kind of emotional crutch? Maybe I give out signals that attract those kind of people.
Which is all a bit profound for me but I'm allowed to be a bit thoughtful as I saw a patient die in front of me today.
I've been lucky in life when it comes to death. The only person I know who died in the last few years was my cousin but, otherwise, it's not something I've really had to face. I've seen bodies before, obviously, as part of my course but today was the first time I actually saw someone die. We all did out best to save him, but he was beyond help really. What surprised me was that Stoker was actually really good about it. He listened to us as we blamed ourselves and then said that we'd have to accept that this would happen. That it's part of the job. The only thing he did tell me off about was that I immediately closed the patient's eyes. He didn't seem to think it was important. To be honest, I'm not sure why I felt it was important. I guess I just think it's respectful.
It's weird really. In one way, my life is totally normal. Family. Rent. Bills. Going out. But then I'm also starting to deal with life and death situations on a daily basis. Julia reckons I'm coping with it better than her and maybe that's how it looks to her and everyone else but inside, I'm not sure if I am coping with it at all. Maybe that's why keeping this blog thing is useful. It means that I can be honest about how I'm really feeling about stuff.
I'm relying on this blog in the same way that Vicky and Julia and Tish and whoever else rely on me!
Oh and because I'd hate to end on a downer and depress you all, today I finally got myself a video mp3 player. So, yes, I am now officially a member of the 21st Century!
9:19 PM
Monday, March 26, 2007
The family get-together...
Category: Blogging
Well last night wasn't exactly fun. Tish, my sister, has just got a job doing PR for some new research company so yay for her. But, being Tish, she wanted a 'proper celebration' which means Dinner With The Family followed by a night out in town. Thing is, Dinner With The Family means making the decision whether to invite Mum ('Are you working hard enough, Martha? Are you revising for your exams, Martha?') or Dad ('Have you found yourself a boyfriend yet, Martha? You should be more like your sister, Martha!'). And if we invite Dad, do we invite his girlfriend Annalise ('Martha! You really really must let me do something with your hair!')? So, to try and be fair, we invited all three. I mean, they're adults (well, Annalise is technically an adult) so surely they could get along for just one meal.
But, no. Apparently not.
I don't know about you but I've found that as I've got older, my parents have somehow got younger. Mum never had a job let alone a career when she was bringing us up but now you won't see her without a briefcase and as for Dad, well mid-life crisis doesn't even begin to describe that whole situation. So, we went to the Indian buffet place on Chancellor Street. All you can eat for £12.50. I think I'd only got halfway through my garlic naan when Mum started on Annalise. Annalise was picking all the… well, basically, all the actual food out of her korma. Mum said that she shouldn't be so fussy and that there were thousands of starving kids in Africa who'd be grateful for a piece of chicken. Leo, my brother, the youngest of the family (but the one already settled down with a home, a girlfriend and a baby, Keisha) was already a bit merry and asked Mum to name one. Annalise told Leo that she didn't think that was very funny. Mum said that Annalise shouldn't try to tell her kids what is and isn't funny. Dad said that Mum had no right to say anything as she's always too busy with work and that at least Annalise is there for us. Tish said that Dad shouldn't have a go at Mum as he was the one who'd walked out on us.
And, predictably enough, it all kicked off. Cue lots of shouting and screaming and scattered pilau.
Surprisingly, no plates were broken but the whole thing ended up with Dad and Annalise walking out, Mum having to take Leo back to his place and Tish trying to persuade me to go clubbing. I'm too old for clubbing! I'm quite happy going back to my flat and chilling out. What with work and my family, evenings are the only time I get to just sit in front of the telly or read a book. And, yes, I know just how boring that makes me sound.
And, of course, this morning I've been getting calls from all of them, asking me whose side I'm on. I mean, I know I shouldn't complain. I'm so lucky not to be alone or anything but, sometimes, I wouldn't mind if it was maybe just a little bit quieter.
Not much chance of that, though. It's Leo's 21st in a couple of weeks. I'm guessing that it's going to be some party…
2:27 AM
Friday, March 23, 2007
The first entry!
Current mood: busy
Category: Blogging
Hey - my name is Martha Jones and this is the story of my life.
Or something.
If you'd told me a year ago that one day I'd be keeping a blog, I'd have probably laughed in your face. It so isn't me. So why am I doing this?
I'm a medical student, just started training at the Royal Hope here in sunny London. There's a bunch of us there all under the wonderful gentle guiding tuition of Mr Stoker. And I've just realised that sarcasm doesn't really come across in blogs. Stoker's a pain. In fact, he's pretty obnoxious. Luckily, I get on with the other students especially Morgenstern and Julia. M's a geek. He's nice but too geeky, even for me. He was the one who suggested I start doing all this. He reckons that writing things down helps make it all make sense in your head. Which would be nice because there's so much going on in my life, I don't even have time to think. Although I don't think M thinks about much more than Dungeons and Dragons really. Julia's a real sweetheart, though. She's engaged to a guy called Steve and is completely loved-up. Bless! And, like me, she's a bit of a Harry Potter fan. Oh God, we're all geeks!
What else to tell you? Well, I've always wanted to be a doctor. Ever since I was a kid. When I was 15 I could tell people every single bone that makes up the human hand. Which, admittedly, wasn't helpful in the popularity stakes at school but it's the kind of thing that fascinates me. I mean, it's almost like magic how everything around us works but it's also like I need to understand it. Even something like Father Christmas! I remember asking Dad how he got to every house in the world on one night and what was the magic that meant his reindeer could fly. Oh God, I was one of those kids who said "Why???" a lot!! Everyone must have really loved me!
Talking of Dad, that's what else I've got going on in my life. You'd think that at the old old age of 23 you'd be less involved with your family but, no. Mine are pretty mad and they're still a huge part of my life. I've got my own flat (well, rented) and I'm studying to be a doctor and I haven't lived with my parents since I was 18 but yet, they're still there. On the phone. Every day. Love them really, though.
And that's it really. Studying and family and rent and buying bread and light bulbs and occasionally, I get a minute to myself.
And that's when I'll be updating this blog. And that's why I'm doing this. Because, and don't tell anyone this, but I get so bored in those minutes!
New York
Start spreading the news... I've been to New York!
It's a place I've always wanted to go to. Me and Tish used to plan to do it every year but things always got in the way. Work and stuff.
The Big A is everything you'd expect it to be and so much more. It's really brilliant. It's full of lights and music and madness. Oh, and sewers! Yeah, ever the glamour girl, I've been into the sewers. No alligators though. Just... well, worse things.
We saw the Statue of Liberty and went to Central Park - but it wasn't exactly like it is on Friends what with it being 1930! It's strange how I've already got used to the whole concept of being in a different year. I mean, it's still completely mad but, yeah, I'm definitely getting the hang of this time travel thing.
Worst bit: The Daleks. I'll tell you more about them next time but they're not good, let's put it that way.
Best bit: We went to this theatre and I went on stage and sort of danced with a bunch of showgirls - jazz hands!!
One of the girls was called Tallulah (three 'l's, one 'h'). She was great. She reminded me a bit of the people we met in the space traffic jam thing. Things weren't brilliant for her. She was skint and her bloke had disappeared but she wasn't letting it get to her. She was totally full of hope and that. And, also, even though she was probably the same age as me, she's really in love and it's weird because I've never properly felt that for anyone. I mean, I've had what my mum calls 'distractions' in the past but never anything truly heavy or whatever. And now I'm starting to feel these things that just make everything else seem so... unimportant. Oh, I'm so deep, me J
So yeah anyway, New York was brilliant and mad but, like London, full of the homeless and, trust me, I'm feeling dead guilty right now about all those times I lied to that Big Issue seller about having no change. I think when you've had an oh-so-perfect, lovely middle-class upbringing like me, you kind of don't see the homeless as... well, not people but you don't see them as people like you. You can't imagine that such a thing would ever happen to you so they must have done something to end up like that. And I know that's sounds so horrible but when you're running late for work and that, they're just kind of in the way. In New York, though, I spent some time with a bunch of homeless guys and they'd been like us once. No, that's wrong - they still were like us. They were still... human. Unlike some of the others I met...
So yeah, New York. Mad and brilliant and a little bit sad. Haha - a bit like the Doctor!
Actually, that's not funny because he's really down at the moment. Because of the Daleks and what they did.....
2:41 AM
Monday, April 16, 2007
The Doctor
Isn't it funny how you don't really find out much about a person until you're both standing still?
Since I met the Doctor it's been all go. We really haven't stopped moving but today we got stuck in traffic. Of course, it was space-age traffic millions of years into the future. And unlike normal traffic jams it was all a bit freaky - brilliant and terrifying. It was so scary, in fact, that afterwards I briefly thought about asking the Doctor to take me home. It was the darkest thing I've been through since I thought we were all going to suffocate in the hospital and in some ways this was even worse because nobody would have known where I was. I was totally alone.
But it was also - I'm trying to think of a better word than beautiful but that's exactly what it was. Think about the first time you went into a church and multiply it by a thousand and you might be halfway there. There were all these people who were trapped in like the grimmest situation possible but they weren't letting it get them down. They had such real hope and faith. I've honestly never seen anything like it. And even though they were all trapped and alone like me, somehow they were like reaching out to each other and refusing to be alone. They just wouldn't give up. And yeah I know this all sounds a bit joss stick-y but it was the most amazing thing I think I've ever felt.
And it made me wonder just who this bloke is. So I asked him and I found out why he's alone. Nearly everyone he knew died in a big war. He's the last of his race is how he says it, but that's just a bit glib - I'm trying to imagine losing my family, my friends, everyone you've ever seen on telly. Them all just being gone. I don't think I could cope.
And to top it all, today he saw one of his oldest friends die. This alien thing called the Face of Boe (and to think when I was growing up, I complained about being called Martha) just died after waiting years to say goodbye to the Doctor. And it was so sad but kind of beautiful and it made me wonder just how many people the Doctor's lost in his life.
And I know I've complained about how noisy my life can be but his... well, I can see why he lives the life he does. He's filling it with noise because I think he'd go mad if he didn't. Thing is, if I hadn't got him to tell me about who he really is, I maybe would have asked to go home but I can't now. I mean, I've been seeing all this as just the biggest most exciting thing in my life but it isn't just that. He needs me. Yeah, he reckons he prefers to be alone but I know he needs me. Of course, he might be a Time Lord with two hearts but he's still basically a bloke so he can't say it. And he'd get all embarrassed if I said anything so I reckon what I've got to do is make it seem like it's his idea. I've got to make him ask me to stay. Because I don't think he'd cope on his own. And because behind all the madness, he's basically a real decent bloke.
Oh, and in case you're reaching for the sick bags because you think I've gone all deep and emotional and stuff, today I also met a talking cat - a cat who was a nun! Which was fun. So there!
2:25 AM
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Shakespeare!
Do you believe in magic? Because you won't believe where I am... and 'when' I am!
The Doctor came back for me. After Leo's party. He just turned up and offered me a trip in his time machine. Okay, some of you will be laughing but come on, after everything that's happened over the last few years - Saxon shooting down that big alien deathstar thing, the Cybermen - it's not that mad to suggest there's such a thing as time travel, is it? Or do you still believe it was drugs in the water? Go look online. It's easy enough to find the real answers if you ask the right questions.
So, yeah, he came back and he offered me the chance to go on a trip. Trip's the wrong word - makes it sound like a school trip and this is so much more! So off we went... BACK TO 1599!!!! And we met WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE!!!
Okay, I'll calm down but seriously, it was mental. I was there. Eating and drinking and sleeping in 1599. I actually breathed in the air of 16th Century London! You see period dramas and stuff on telly but this was different. It was so real. The people there were real. It wasn't all stiff and 'forsooth, thou dost whatever'. The people were just like us.
Especially Will. Oh, he was fit! Who'd have thought it? William Shakespeare is sexy! And maybe just a little bit of a prat J But there's nothing wrong with that.
The thing is, I studied Shakespeare at school. We even went on a trip to Stratford to see As You Like It (which is meant to be a comedy but the version we saw was like an EastEnders omnibus). I couldn't stand it. Our teachers just made it all so dull. They made it seem like "Shakespeare" is this big, serious, intellectual thing when really it isn't. It's one bloke who had this completely magical power to use words to make something beautiful and exciting. And it so isn't intellectual. I mean it's amazing stuff but it isn't this elitist thing just for the clever people. If he were around now, he'd be writing for BBC1 not BBC4. I was there! I saw it. It was for the masses. It is for the masses! It's big and magical and sexy! And as soon as I get back, I'm taking the family to see one of his plays. Maybe Macbeth aka The One With The Witches.
Sorry if this is all a bit incoherent and full of exclamation marks but you know what? I'm on holiday - possibly the best holiday anyone's ever been on.
And for those of you who don't believe any of this, as the great man once said...
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
And believe me, there are so many more things in heaven and earth. Especially him. The Doctor. I'm still not sure how to describe him. He's the most amazing, brilliant, annoying man I've ever met. He's like heaven and earth all rolled up in tight trousers.
So, yeah, I guess I believe in magic because that's how I'd describe him. And if he thinks he's getting rid of me now, he'd better think again!
1:50 PM
Saturday, March 31, 2007
...
Current mood: shocked
Okay. Trying to find the words to describe today. Odd. Terrifying. Brilliant. Mad.
You'll have seen it on the news, of course. The Royal Hope disappearing and then coming back. Firstly, don't listen to what they're saying. We weren't drugged. We DID go to the moon. It's funny, I'm looking up at it now and remembering what it was like to be there and look down at the Earth and... I don't know... it's like it was all a dream. I've tried phoning Julia but she's still really messed up by it all. It's like there's nobody I can talk to about what happened. So hooray for the blog!
Well I say there's nobody I can talk to but there is one man. But he's gone. He disappeared just after we came back. Yeah, he's gone.
So what happened? I might as well tell you although you'll think I'm mad. Basically (haha!) there was this old woman who was actually an alien and these intergalactic alien police were looking for her so they took the whole hospital to the moon because it's neutral territory and they were trying to find her but because she looked like a human the alien police had to scan us all and we were running out of air and we were all going to die and... one man saved us. I mean, I helped but he was something else. He called himself the Doctor but he wasn't a doctor, he was an alien. And he was brilliant. And, okay, I know this'll sound crazy what with everything I've been through but I'm actually really annoyed with him right now because he left. He saved us all and then just left without even saying goodbye and... no, before anyone starts posting stupid comments, I didn't fancy him or anything. I mean to be honest, he was a bit geeky and, obviously as an alien, he was well strange but... I thought we connected. And then he just left.
And he leaves me here. I'm here, in my flat. Getting ready for Leo's birthday and it's like for everyone else, none of it really happened. I know that I'll get to the party and everyone will be asking me about it all but then the conversation will change to whatever mad dress Annalise is wearing or about how cute Keisha is and I'll be forgotten. Still, I guess that's life, really. No use getting down about it. I mean, I could have died on the moon today so it could have been worse ? And, if I can survive today then Leo's party should be easy! So, yeah. I'm just going to enjoy myself and try to forget about him.
But if you're reading this, Doctor. Then at least come back and say goodbye. That's all I'm asking.
12:35 PM
Thursday, March 29, 2007
The calm before the storm...
Current mood: calm
Stoker managed to make Morgenstern cry today. It's like he actually wants us to fail. He just never gives us enough time to think. He asked Morgenstern a question about a patient's chart. M's glasses were steamed up so he took them off to clean them. At which point, Stoker stormed off telling us to wait there. Then, he was back. With a pair of binoculars. He asked M if these would help and that perhaps he should consider laser surgery on his eyes so that patients don't start entering the next life while he's polishing his cheap glasses. When M started to cry, Stoker actually smiled as if he'd won some kind of competition. I was so mad, I took the chart from M and said that I would take this patient and he could take the next one which would give him a minute to sort out his glasses. I mean, M might be a geek but he doesn't deserve that treatment. I think Stoker just gets off on the power.
Other that that, it's been a day spent on the phone. It's Leo's 21st tomorrow. And, knowing my family, it won't exactly be a nice quiet civilised soiree. I've had Tish on the phone for over an hour suggesting ways we can keep Mum and Annalise apart. Mum saying that she won't be there if 'that girl' is there. Dad saying he won't be there if he can't bring Annalise. And so on and so on. In the end I told them all my battery was dying and that I had to go but that I'd speak to them in the morning. Then I switched off my mobile, pulled down the blinds, put away my text books and got myself a mug of hot chocolate. And I'm officially having A Night Off.
And I've realised that I what I really need is a holiday. It doesn't matter where I go but I could just do with a break from being me. A break from work and studying and trying to keep my family together and trying to keep Stoker happy and waaaah! Ooh, I haven't said 'waaaah!' in years - things must be bad! I mean, it's all fine really. Everything's great and that but maybe a little breather would be nice. Or maybe Dad's right, perish the thought, and I need to find myself a bloke J
So, no doubt in the morning, I'll have Tish on the phone going on about her new job and then Mum going on about Annalise and then Julia asking me whether she should give Steve another chance and, yeah I'm going to say it again - waaaah!
But, just for tonight - for one night only - Martha Jones is having a very quiet and brilliantly boring evening. I've done my washing so there's knickers on the radiator and socks in the sink. I'm a real lady, me. I've wrapped Leo's present (he wanted a Playstation but he's getting a toaster). I've got myself a glass of wine and I'm curled up on the sofa watching Saxon winding up Paxman on Newsnight. Then it's off to get a good night's sleep before it all kicks off again in the morning. The calm before the storm!
3:00 PM
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
An odd day.
Current mood: numb
Today was a bit odd.
Julia has split up with her fiancé, Steve. At lunchtime I took her to our local coffee shop so she could have a moan about it all. In one way it was nice that she feels I'm the person she can talk to but it also reminded me of my old mate Vicky. Vicky would always come to me for advice about her men, and as Julia sat there, crying into her latte, I realised that I was responding in exactly the same way. Asking her how she felt. Asking her what she wanted. Agreeing that he wasn't worth it. Just never telling her what I really thought because that's not really what she wants to hear. It's completely one-sided.
So this thing with Julia got me thinking. Do we always attract the same type of friends? Wherever I go in life, am I going to end up with a best mate who isn't really interested in what I think but sees me as some kind of emotional crutch? Maybe I give out signals that attract those kind of people.
Which is all a bit profound for me but I'm allowed to be a bit thoughtful as I saw a patient die in front of me today.
I've been lucky in life when it comes to death. The only person I know who died in the last few years was my cousin but, otherwise, it's not something I've really had to face. I've seen bodies before, obviously, as part of my course but today was the first time I actually saw someone die. We all did out best to save him, but he was beyond help really. What surprised me was that Stoker was actually really good about it. He listened to us as we blamed ourselves and then said that we'd have to accept that this would happen. That it's part of the job. The only thing he did tell me off about was that I immediately closed the patient's eyes. He didn't seem to think it was important. To be honest, I'm not sure why I felt it was important. I guess I just think it's respectful.
It's weird really. In one way, my life is totally normal. Family. Rent. Bills. Going out. But then I'm also starting to deal with life and death situations on a daily basis. Julia reckons I'm coping with it better than her and maybe that's how it looks to her and everyone else but inside, I'm not sure if I am coping with it at all. Maybe that's why keeping this blog thing is useful. It means that I can be honest about how I'm really feeling about stuff.
I'm relying on this blog in the same way that Vicky and Julia and Tish and whoever else rely on me!
Oh and because I'd hate to end on a downer and depress you all, today I finally got myself a video mp3 player. So, yes, I am now officially a member of the 21st Century!
9:19 PM
Monday, March 26, 2007
The family get-together...
Category: Blogging
Well last night wasn't exactly fun. Tish, my sister, has just got a job doing PR for some new research company so yay for her. But, being Tish, she wanted a 'proper celebration' which means Dinner With The Family followed by a night out in town. Thing is, Dinner With The Family means making the decision whether to invite Mum ('Are you working hard enough, Martha? Are you revising for your exams, Martha?') or Dad ('Have you found yourself a boyfriend yet, Martha? You should be more like your sister, Martha!'). And if we invite Dad, do we invite his girlfriend Annalise ('Martha! You really really must let me do something with your hair!')? So, to try and be fair, we invited all three. I mean, they're adults (well, Annalise is technically an adult) so surely they could get along for just one meal.
But, no. Apparently not.
I don't know about you but I've found that as I've got older, my parents have somehow got younger. Mum never had a job let alone a career when she was bringing us up but now you won't see her without a briefcase and as for Dad, well mid-life crisis doesn't even begin to describe that whole situation. So, we went to the Indian buffet place on Chancellor Street. All you can eat for £12.50. I think I'd only got halfway through my garlic naan when Mum started on Annalise. Annalise was picking all the… well, basically, all the actual food out of her korma. Mum said that she shouldn't be so fussy and that there were thousands of starving kids in Africa who'd be grateful for a piece of chicken. Leo, my brother, the youngest of the family (but the one already settled down with a home, a girlfriend and a baby, Keisha) was already a bit merry and asked Mum to name one. Annalise told Leo that she didn't think that was very funny. Mum said that Annalise shouldn't try to tell her kids what is and isn't funny. Dad said that Mum had no right to say anything as she's always too busy with work and that at least Annalise is there for us. Tish said that Dad shouldn't have a go at Mum as he was the one who'd walked out on us.
And, predictably enough, it all kicked off. Cue lots of shouting and screaming and scattered pilau.
Surprisingly, no plates were broken but the whole thing ended up with Dad and Annalise walking out, Mum having to take Leo back to his place and Tish trying to persuade me to go clubbing. I'm too old for clubbing! I'm quite happy going back to my flat and chilling out. What with work and my family, evenings are the only time I get to just sit in front of the telly or read a book. And, yes, I know just how boring that makes me sound.
And, of course, this morning I've been getting calls from all of them, asking me whose side I'm on. I mean, I know I shouldn't complain. I'm so lucky not to be alone or anything but, sometimes, I wouldn't mind if it was maybe just a little bit quieter.
Not much chance of that, though. It's Leo's 21st in a couple of weeks. I'm guessing that it's going to be some party…
2:27 AM
Friday, March 23, 2007
The first entry!
Current mood: busy
Category: Blogging
Hey - my name is Martha Jones and this is the story of my life.
Or something.
If you'd told me a year ago that one day I'd be keeping a blog, I'd have probably laughed in your face. It so isn't me. So why am I doing this?
I'm a medical student, just started training at the Royal Hope here in sunny London. There's a bunch of us there all under the wonderful gentle guiding tuition of Mr Stoker. And I've just realised that sarcasm doesn't really come across in blogs. Stoker's a pain. In fact, he's pretty obnoxious. Luckily, I get on with the other students especially Morgenstern and Julia. M's a geek. He's nice but too geeky, even for me. He was the one who suggested I start doing all this. He reckons that writing things down helps make it all make sense in your head. Which would be nice because there's so much going on in my life, I don't even have time to think. Although I don't think M thinks about much more than Dungeons and Dragons really. Julia's a real sweetheart, though. She's engaged to a guy called Steve and is completely loved-up. Bless! And, like me, she's a bit of a Harry Potter fan. Oh God, we're all geeks!
What else to tell you? Well, I've always wanted to be a doctor. Ever since I was a kid. When I was 15 I could tell people every single bone that makes up the human hand. Which, admittedly, wasn't helpful in the popularity stakes at school but it's the kind of thing that fascinates me. I mean, it's almost like magic how everything around us works but it's also like I need to understand it. Even something like Father Christmas! I remember asking Dad how he got to every house in the world on one night and what was the magic that meant his reindeer could fly. Oh God, I was one of those kids who said "Why???" a lot!! Everyone must have really loved me!
Talking of Dad, that's what else I've got going on in my life. You'd think that at the old old age of 23 you'd be less involved with your family but, no. Mine are pretty mad and they're still a huge part of my life. I've got my own flat (well, rented) and I'm studying to be a doctor and I haven't lived with my parents since I was 18 but yet, they're still there. On the phone. Every day. Love them really, though.
And that's it really. Studying and family and rent and buying bread and light bulbs and occasionally, I get a minute to myself.
And that's when I'll be updating this blog. And that's why I'm doing this. Because, and don't tell anyone this, but I get so bored in those minutes!