Hmm, so I guess I should feel a little bad about all those nasty text messages I sent you because you missed our get together last night. Oops. Ignore them.
I'm glad it is a lack of cell phone, and not death, that is preventing communication.
I agree it's a conspiracy, but a conspiracy of hate! You see, if a piece of technology provides her with enough bullshit, she gets stressed. Stress leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. Wait, no... Hate leads to an increase of her natural electromagnetic field to obscene levels, killing ambient technology nearby. You all know the drills about electro-magnetic pulses.
The real conspiracy is why her work equipment hasn't exploded.
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Hmm. I wonder if the underpants gnomes have expanded out to lesbian's phones....
Cell Phone
????
Profit!
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Oops. Ignore them.
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I agree it's a conspiracy, but a conspiracy of hate! You see, if a piece of technology provides her with enough bullshit, she gets stressed. Stress leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. Wait, no... Hate leads to an increase of her natural electromagnetic field to obscene levels, killing ambient technology nearby. You all know the drills about electro-magnetic pulses.
The real conspiracy is why her work equipment hasn't exploded.
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