Some drive-by flist rape.
Yes, I'm posting again. Needless to say, the following is full of spoilers in every direction.
No, seriously. What the hell was that episode.
I wasn't exactly surprised to see Logan turn into a total pussy, since fans have been suggesting this development ever since Hannah sashayed across the screen to the tumultuous swell of violins, but come on. I have suspended a lot of disbelief for the character of Logan. I have winced through so many bad lines, so much character assassination (I developed a complex theory that his "Marsi-Won Kenobi" line was actually intentionally bad, as a way to mock their constant verbal sparring and pop culture references. I'VE REALLY GONE THE EXTRA FAN MILE HERE, OKAY.), but this is really the last straw.
Jason Dohring, for the love of Xenu, get the fuck off this sinking ship. You can almost sell this ridiculous "bad boy saved by good girl" plotline, and that's a little scary. You belong somewhere better, somewhere where you aren't forced to earnestly do this shit. You have rights. You can say no.
And seriously - seriously - what is Rob Thomas even thinking, here? I get that Logan is a romantic soul. He's certainly acted very gooey over the women we have seen him with (barring Kendall Casablancas, who just didn't have a soul). But can we see anything at all in the character of Hannah to recommend her as any kind of match for him? Much in the same way that Duncan seemed like an ill fit for Veronica (I firmly believe that D/V is a pairing for H/H fans), Hannah is just... milktoast. What the hell do she and Logan have in common? What do their non-canoodling conversation consist of? Does he tearfully tell her about the pain of Lilly's death? Do her eyebrows knit together concernedly as his large eyes go liquid with unshed tears? Does he get tired of her wanting to watch The Wiggles all the time? The file in the cake was a very pale effort to prove to us that Hannah didn't have the personality of a shoe sole - it was such a Veronica-esque joke (snarky, cute, and a reference to the collective pop culture conscience) that it hurt.
And if they're trying to hastily tell us that Hannah is worthy of Logan's affection, why did she turn to mush and take him back after the shit he pulled? If there is one thing in particular about this show that I have grown to hate, it's its constant devotion to making women spineless creatures who don't put down boundaries. Ironic, isn't it, given the first season? But this time we have seen:
1.) Veronica forgive Duncan for doing her while she was in a drugged up haze while thinking she was his sister, and never bringing it up again.
2.) Veronica forgive Dick, when multiple sources stated that he tried to get Beaver to rape her prostrate body.
3.) Meg forgive Duncan for knocking her up and abandoning her when he found out that his ex-girlfriend wasn't his sister.
4.) Veronica forgive Duncan for lying and hiding his love child from her.
5.) Hannah forgive Logan for hooking up with her in order to blackmail her father into dropping his testimony that would pin a murder on him.
SHIT, LADIES. YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS. DESPITE WHAT THE PERSON HOLDING THE PURSE STRINGS OF THE CASTING BUDGET MIGHT TELL YOU, THERE ARE OTHER FISH IN THE NEPTUNE HIGH SEA, K. A SCRUB IS A SCRUB.
In addition to all of that, the little things are really starting to grate. The Emmy line was about as ham-fisted as it gets. No one says that. Any and all jokes made about getting an award for pulling off a performance refer to Oscars. Lolz, meta! You don't get to be bitter about getting passed over for awards when your show involves comatose teenage girls having babies. It's in The Rules. So many of the jokes and references lately feel forced and formulaic lately - there is a way to incorporate them in a way that sounds natural, and there's a way to be totally clunky.
And what the hell ever happened to the viewer being in Veronica's head? The voice-overs are all but gone, and while they might have occasionally dropped clue-by-fours a little too often, THEY WERE WHAT MADE THE SHOW ENJOYABLE. Season one feels like a choose your own adventure story; you are right there with Veronica the entire time. You get what her motivations are, you feel her pain, you want her to triumph. Her losses are your losses, because you understand what she's working towards and why she's doing it. These days all we get are FAKE OUT EPISODES, INEXPLICABLY CUT SCENES CONTAINING IMPORTANT PLOT DEVELOPMENTS, and a main plot so convoluted and messy that I don't even know WTF Veronica is working towards, much less how she intends to get there.
Oh, and the mysteries of the week all fucking suck, too. Last season they were actually a part of the show - they helped develop and shape Veronica's world and her perspective on things happening in her life. These days they feel like they have been cut and pasted into the basic framework of the over-arcing plot, as though RT feels obligated to deliver them. Why not UTILIZE all of that wasted time and try to shed some more light on actual issues in the VM world? RUNAWAY BRIDES? SERIOUSLY? Please.
In closing: the only thing I still like about VM is the theme song. When everyone was posting with that made-up rumor about cancellation, I WAS SECRETLY HAPPY.
No, seriously. What the hell was that episode.
I wasn't exactly surprised to see Logan turn into a total pussy, since fans have been suggesting this development ever since Hannah sashayed across the screen to the tumultuous swell of violins, but come on. I have suspended a lot of disbelief for the character of Logan. I have winced through so many bad lines, so much character assassination (I developed a complex theory that his "Marsi-Won Kenobi" line was actually intentionally bad, as a way to mock their constant verbal sparring and pop culture references. I'VE REALLY GONE THE EXTRA FAN MILE HERE, OKAY.), but this is really the last straw.
Jason Dohring, for the love of Xenu, get the fuck off this sinking ship. You can almost sell this ridiculous "bad boy saved by good girl" plotline, and that's a little scary. You belong somewhere better, somewhere where you aren't forced to earnestly do this shit. You have rights. You can say no.
And seriously - seriously - what is Rob Thomas even thinking, here? I get that Logan is a romantic soul. He's certainly acted very gooey over the women we have seen him with (barring Kendall Casablancas, who just didn't have a soul). But can we see anything at all in the character of Hannah to recommend her as any kind of match for him? Much in the same way that Duncan seemed like an ill fit for Veronica (I firmly believe that D/V is a pairing for H/H fans), Hannah is just... milktoast. What the hell do she and Logan have in common? What do their non-canoodling conversation consist of? Does he tearfully tell her about the pain of Lilly's death? Do her eyebrows knit together concernedly as his large eyes go liquid with unshed tears? Does he get tired of her wanting to watch The Wiggles all the time? The file in the cake was a very pale effort to prove to us that Hannah didn't have the personality of a shoe sole - it was such a Veronica-esque joke (snarky, cute, and a reference to the collective pop culture conscience) that it hurt.
And if they're trying to hastily tell us that Hannah is worthy of Logan's affection, why did she turn to mush and take him back after the shit he pulled? If there is one thing in particular about this show that I have grown to hate, it's its constant devotion to making women spineless creatures who don't put down boundaries. Ironic, isn't it, given the first season? But this time we have seen:
1.) Veronica forgive Duncan for doing her while she was in a drugged up haze while thinking she was his sister, and never bringing it up again.
2.) Veronica forgive Dick, when multiple sources stated that he tried to get Beaver to rape her prostrate body.
3.) Meg forgive Duncan for knocking her up and abandoning her when he found out that his ex-girlfriend wasn't his sister.
4.) Veronica forgive Duncan for lying and hiding his love child from her.
5.) Hannah forgive Logan for hooking up with her in order to blackmail her father into dropping his testimony that would pin a murder on him.
SHIT, LADIES. YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS. DESPITE WHAT THE PERSON HOLDING THE PURSE STRINGS OF THE CASTING BUDGET MIGHT TELL YOU, THERE ARE OTHER FISH IN THE NEPTUNE HIGH SEA, K. A SCRUB IS A SCRUB.
In addition to all of that, the little things are really starting to grate. The Emmy line was about as ham-fisted as it gets. No one says that. Any and all jokes made about getting an award for pulling off a performance refer to Oscars. Lolz, meta! You don't get to be bitter about getting passed over for awards when your show involves comatose teenage girls having babies. It's in The Rules. So many of the jokes and references lately feel forced and formulaic lately - there is a way to incorporate them in a way that sounds natural, and there's a way to be totally clunky.
And what the hell ever happened to the viewer being in Veronica's head? The voice-overs are all but gone, and while they might have occasionally dropped clue-by-fours a little too often, THEY WERE WHAT MADE THE SHOW ENJOYABLE. Season one feels like a choose your own adventure story; you are right there with Veronica the entire time. You get what her motivations are, you feel her pain, you want her to triumph. Her losses are your losses, because you understand what she's working towards and why she's doing it. These days all we get are FAKE OUT EPISODES, INEXPLICABLY CUT SCENES CONTAINING IMPORTANT PLOT DEVELOPMENTS, and a main plot so convoluted and messy that I don't even know WTF Veronica is working towards, much less how she intends to get there.
Oh, and the mysteries of the week all fucking suck, too. Last season they were actually a part of the show - they helped develop and shape Veronica's world and her perspective on things happening in her life. These days they feel like they have been cut and pasted into the basic framework of the over-arcing plot, as though RT feels obligated to deliver them. Why not UTILIZE all of that wasted time and try to shed some more light on actual issues in the VM world? RUNAWAY BRIDES? SERIOUSLY? Please.
In closing: the only thing I still like about VM is the theme song. When everyone was posting with that made-up rumor about cancellation, I WAS SECRETLY HAPPY.