DA's series 2: The Ghost of 1914 -- OR -- Does Matthew have a mean streak? (part 5 - 2.04 cont'd)
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If you were the only girl in the world and I were the only boy - Another would-be proposal
When Matthew and William finally arrive at Downton, they are three days overdue. Matthew crashes the concert just as Mary is singing, and she just stops mid-sentence and stares at him in shock. Matthew looks almost equally amazed when he sees her. For one, she is yet again doing something mundane, entertaining soldiers by singing, and thus demonstrating that she hasn't taken root on her aristocratic pedestal. Seeing Mary do worldly things has always been a turn-on for Matthew, and now it's the third time in four episodes. But second, and most importantly: Judging from her reaction, there is no way Mary can be indifferent to him! He can see that! It's written all over her face! Well, he wanted to surprise her - but he didn't expect her to look so incredulous. And then she says «Thank God» in relief, everybody looks completely ecstatic, and his father-in-law Lord Grantham steps up to him, shaking his hand energetically saying «My dear boy. My very dear boy»! Only now does Matthew realise how worried everyone must have been when they went missing, that they must have been scared out of their minds to display such visible signs of relief, that they must have feared him dead. And we have to remind ourselves that he took the risk of going missing or even dying as a response to Mary's letter, as a response to the idea that she didn't care, some sort of punishment as it were («I'll go and die if you don't care for me») - a punishment she clearly did not deserve, as he can see for himself.
I suppose it takes Robert's reaction for Matthew to really make sense of Mary's display of emotion from when he came in, and the very moment he realises that, he shifts his gaze away from Robert and back to Mary, looking absolutely overwhelmed and in love! If the Christmas Special hadn't brought confirmation that Matthew never loved Lavinia, if he should have lived in denial throughout series 2 - still, the look on his face in this scene would have held up as evidence in court that he was in love with Mary at some point at least. And as he turns to look at her with a beaming face, we can see a very slight shaking of the head and simultaneous miniscule movement of the lips as if to convey «no» in disbelief - no, he had no idea she could become so emotional about seeing him alive and safe, and no, it was never his intention to grieve her the way he must have done, when he started out on that bloody patrol because he was jealous and doubted her feelings.
From that moment on, Matthew's focus is all on Mary, who is smiling back at him. He wants to make amends, wants to tell her that he's sorry. He wants to comfort her after all this fright she has gone through. Make her feel like he has come home to her, that this is where he belongs. So they must go on singing this song which is really about them! «Don't stop for me,» he says to her, and that little line could mean so many things. He acknowledges that Mary has been putting her life on hold for him, and he doesn't want to be the reason why she shouldn't sing beautiful songs or do wonderful things. Not anymore. He doesn't want her to stop comforting everyone around her with her strength in this time of crisis. He doesn't want to be the reason why she should stop enjoying life. She has to go on singing. And to help her back on track, he walks down the aisle towards her, continuing with the song, knowing that the next line expresses exactly what he feels for Mary at this precise moment and what he wants to give back to her: «I would say such wonderful things to you ...». This is, in a way, a commitment, and a genuine acknowledgment of his feelings for her, conditional only in as much as other persons unfortunately do exist in their lives - not as emotional obstacles in his case, obviously, but more as practical obstacles. They finish the song together, with Matthew almost allowing Mary's shaking voice to lean on his in her bewilderment and agitation.
It's certainly no coincidence that the whole concert setting resembles a wedding, with an aisle, walking down the aisle, the lyrics resembling personal wedding vows, an acknowledgment of what one needs and looks for in a partner and of what one is sure to find:
Some times when I feel bad and things look blue
I wish a pal I had, say one like you,
Someone within my heart to build a throne,
Someone who'd never part, to call my own.
If you were the only girl in the world and I were the only boy,
Nothing else would matter in the world today,
We could go on loving in the same old way.
A garden of Eden just made for two, with nothing to mar our joy,
I would say such wonderful things to you,
There would be such wonderful things to do
If you were the only girl in the world and I were the only boy.
By singing these words, Mary initiating the song without Matthew present (but undoubtedly thinking about him in a moment like that), and Matthew restarting it when he arrives, they are implicitly proposing to one another once more - a what-could-be-proposal this time, mirroring their final conversation from 1.07 («Would you have stayed, if I'd accepted you?» - «Of course!»), a what-could-have-been proposal back then, when it was too late. The conditions attached to these new, hypothetical vows also foreshadow the successful proposal in the Christmas Special, but I will return to that later. Suffice it to say that, when Mary claims in the Christmas Special that they «have been on the edge of this so many times», this moment in 2.04 must be one of the occasions she is thinking of. The song as such doesn't bring Mary and Matthew any closer to a solution. In one way, it acknowledges that the impediment (Lavinia, Carlisle and - unbeknownst to Matthew - Pamuk) is real («if»). It doesn't deal with possible motivations why either Mary or Matthew should have preferred to settle with someone else in the first place - which makes it difficult to write off these choices as inferior. In another sense, however, the song is a mutual commitment, encouragement, and ultimatum, a promise of wonderful words for one another and wonderful things - if, but only if - they get rid of their respective impediments.
After the concert, Matthew clearly signals that he is sorry for having caused unnecessary grievance with his patrol («I hope you weren't really worried»), even if unhelpful Robert plays down the situation. Mary asks Matthew about his plans and he admits that he will go down to London to see Lavinia. While this admission certainly ruins the moment, there is little else he could have said and done, unfortunately, inasmuch as his mother is indeed absent from Downton. He would have a hard time finding a plausible excuse for staying in the village when his closest «relative» is in fact his fiancée in London - howevermuch he might want to. Anything else would simply be improper, and Matthew tries to convey the circumstances necessitating his departure from Downton as clearly as possible. The name of his fiancée is indeed the only aspect of his engagement which Matthew cares to be reminded of before changing the subject.
Sensing signs of visible disappointment in Mary at the prospect of his departure, he brings up Carlisle as a counter-argument («I got your letter about Carlisle»), as if to emphasize that Mary hasn't exactly given him a reason to stay for her sake all of a sudden, which is fair enough. Mary takes him up on that and attempts to minimise the importance of his rival: «I hope you'll approve. I know you don't like him much now - ». Saying all the proper things on the surface, she nevertheless encourages Matthew to give her a reason why she shouldn't marry Carlisle - a reversal of their 2.03 conversation about Lavinia. Mary's statement could mean two things: She could either suggest that Matthew is indeed struggling with the changes, as Carson had insinuated in 2.02, and that she hopes he will own up to the fact. And/or she could be projecting, only hoping that he might be jealous but stating it more or less as if it were a fact (like Matthew did in 2.03). She allows Matthew to voice concerns about Carlisle by not expecting him to approve («I hope»), and she makes it even easier for him to disapprove by accepting the alleged «fact» that he doesn't like him now - for which he would only have to give her a reason, «forcing» her to reconsider her plans...
In one way, Matthew doesn't really bite, but in another way he does. He interrupts Mary before she assumes too much: «I hardly know him, but I'm sure I'll like him when I do. That's if he's good to you. If he's not, he'll have me to answer to.» On the surface, he gives the impression of approval, and he doesn't do Mary the favour of disapproving just because she asks him to. Also, he has obviously had a change of heart since his self-centred reasoning in the trenches. He feels he has no right to demand that she should keep her life on hold for his sake, he no longer objects to meeting Carlisle in the future, and he expresses trust in her good taste of men. Between the lines, however, Matthew not only admits that he indeed doesn't like Carlisle yet, but also that it isn't at all certain he will ever like him (which contradicts his overt claim that this is a sure thing and only a matter of time) - because there is always the possibility (or hope?) of Carlisle not being good to her. If Mary has been hoping for Matthew to pinpoint some negative quality in Carlisle that he may dislike him for, then he has found one. Fine, he has done as she asked. But what that reason for disliking Carlisle might be, was entirely his own suggestion. In other words, Matthew allows himself to dislike Carlisle out of his own free will, not because Mary is trying to make him jealous. He doesn't budge in the stalemate with her.
Should Carlisle fail to be good to Mary, however, Matthew has it all worked out, and under the pretense of simply protecting Mary's well-being as a friend in need, he allows himself to conjure up a delightful mental image of Carlisle having him to answer to. And then again, does Matthew actually say he approves of Mary's engagement plans as such, even if Carlisle should turn out to be a nice chap? He doesn't really - he never answers that question. Matthew only objects to Mary's claim that he might dislike Carlisle at present. But while he explores the idea of how he would deal with a man he doesn't like, he still doesn't answer the question if he would actually give his blessing to her marrying a man he might like. By avoiding the topic, Matthew avoids lying to Mary about his feelings for her without having to own up to them.
In her letter, Mary seemed resigned to follow through with Carlisle, her second best option, because she was convinced that Matthew had Lavinia's name carved on his heart. After the concert, however, Matthew has given her ample reasons to reconsider - and to wait, without pressuring her. He has not resigned himself to stand by and watch Mary marry someone else if that person isn't good enough. Unlike Mary, who seems to have reached a conclusion about Lavinia's suitability, Matthew hasn't come to a conclusion about Carlisle yet. On the contrary, he promises further investigation (i.e. getting to know him better) and attaches conditions to his acceptance of Mary's plans. For one, he has expectations as to her motives for marrying Carlisle, and trusts in her that she would only consent to marrying a man with a seemingly good and likeable character. Moreover, he asserts a certain superiority over Carlisle in one area: He promotes himself as a man who will always be «good» to her, and he remains unconvinced that Carlisle (or any other man) feels that way about her, unconvinced even after a longer acquaintance. In case he is proven right, Matthew will always be ready to prove his physical and moral superiority by taking on Carlisle and getting him out of Mary's hair.
I have no doubt that - when Matthew sings «If you were the only girl in the world, and I were the only boy» at the concert - he is absolutely serious. For him, episode 2.04 is pivotal, an absolute game changer, an eye opener. The letter, the stubborn self-imposed patrol which could have seen him dead, his disappearance, the relief and the joy at his return to Downton - all this has made him realise where his heart lies. He has discovered a lot about himself within these few days. He has realised that he does mind if Mary should marry someone else who isn't better than him. In fact, the thought upsets him terribly. He has realised that he would swap Lavinia without hesitation. He has realised that it is always Mary he is coming home to when he is on leave, that it is her he wants to see safe, that it is her he wants to say beautiful things to and do beautiful things with. And most importantly, Matthew wants to live. He wants to live through the rest of this war. He's done with fantasies about his own death because he can see now that it matters to Mary whether or not he is alive, and he wants to come back to her. In his equation, there is only Lavinia and Carlisle as possible obstacles. This can be changed, and Matthew's apparent commitment to the possibilities the song embodies, foreshadows how he will view his options in the next episode.
[Apocrypha: In the PBS version of Downton Abbey, this sequence after the concert is shown in an extended version which contains the strongest possible evidence that Mary is thinking along the exact same lines as Matthew when it comes to the prospect of going through with her marriage plans. And she conveys that to him, clearly, as final words of comfort. The extended scene shows Matthew become visibly uncomfortable when he catches the sight of a soldier in a wheelchair, and he explains that the sight of disfigured bodies «haunts» him always. Now this may be the daftest and least profound explanation of Matthew's haunted look in 2.01 - that it shouldn't be attributed to the fact that he sees hundreds of men die around him, fathers and sons, he sees grown men cry, he sees men being shot for cowardice because they admit to being frightened, that he sees cruelty and coarseness, he sees fathers and sons being forced to shoot at other fathers and sons because they are so unfortunate as to live in different countries - but instead attributed to the mere idea that one might come back in a wheelchair. For that reason alone, I'm glad the scene was cut, because this part of the dialogue does nothing to describe the internal landscape of Matthew's war-ridden mind; in fact, it undermines the depth and sincerity behind Matthew's and Mary's exchange of looks at dinner in 2.01.
But I digress. The point I'm trying to make is that Matthew would prefer not to go back this time around («I know I have to go back»). So far he has only expressed reluctance to go back to war at times when things were on the up for him and Mary. He is stressed out about having to return to France when he takes leave of Mary at the train station in 2.01, and the first thing we see in 2.02 is that he prepares for a transfer back to England! Then Mary presents him to Carlisle in 2.02 and he says he wants to go back to France as soon as possible. Now Mary has written Matthew a letter about her plans with Carlisle, they have in fact just talked about Carlisle and Lavinia, Mary has asked him to accept her plan to move on - so naturally, despite his good-natured approval, we should expect Matthew to want to go back to the trenches and the company of his toy dog if he was still taking Mary's letter of intent seriously. But alas, he doesn't want to leave the woman whose engagement plans he just approved of - because he doesn't seem to believe she is any more serious than he is - and that after their conversation! And Mary gives him every reason to think exactly that when she undermines her own letter by saying «It really can’t be long now» - before touching his wrist! Because that line brings to mind Matthew's earlier comment to William that Mary probably won't want to decide on a date for the wedding with Carlisle until after (he has come home from) the war - something she didn't say at all. But now she does. By confirming the first part of Matthew's interpretation explicitly, she confirms also the last part by implication. Matthew has interpreted her letter right all along. Nothing is settled yet. «Take care of yourself. Please. It really can’t be long now.» What Mary implies is that she needs Matthew back safe. Because she's got plans. And he's got something to look forward to: the prospect that they will get together once it's over, because no marriage date has been set on either side. And then she touches his wrist. «If you were the only girl in the world, and I were the only boy» won't be long in coming.]
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