Meet Alexis, a "well wanted girl"

[tealdear]

Story Or Series Title:  Wanted by a God 
Fandom: Avengers
Culprit Author's name: Jokerfangirl12

Full Name (plus titles if any): Alexis Roberts (No relation to Berrie Roberts/Odinson)
Full Species(es): A mutant? Who knows…
Hair Color (include adjectives): “Now Alexis was a well wanted girl with her curly long Black hair…" (Capitalization not mine).
Eye

Comments

[pathology_doc]

I was lying in bed when I felt something stroke my hair I thought was Nicole but I dismissed it

Because after all, don't all 12 year old daughters of badass SHIELD agents stroke the hair of their 22 year old guardians in the middle of the night? It's almost as creepy as the actuality of Loki doing it.

Makes me suspect the author isn't much older than twelve herself.

[tealdear]

I didn't even think of that, but that's an added creep factor isn't it? Maybe they just have giggly, hair-braiding sleepovers every night...

...

That's still creepy.

[pathology_doc]

That's why I'm thinking the author is no older than that; and while she's aged her self-insert up so that the interactions with Loki aren't so dodgy, she's forgotten that it introduces a squick-factor with her young BFF.

Can we go one step further and hypothesise that this thing was written partway through a giggly hair-braiding sleepover? (ETA: by a pair of 12-year-olds named Alexis and Nicole.)

[tealdear]

I think that's almost certainly the case. Add to that a long night of binge-ing on pixie sticks and can after can of soda and you have the recipe for this kind of dreck.

[kyouketsusha]

" there's a chance he night not wake up" just that sentence I think made my world come crashing down hard on me

HE IS A GOD

FFFFFFFFFFFF

Never mind the rest of this shite, that's what pissed me off the most.

SUETHOR. AT LEAST REMEMBER THIS, PLEASE. IF YOU HAVE LOKI'S CHILD, THAT CHILD SHOULD CARRY THE PATRONYM "LOKASON" OR "LOKADOTTIR"

FFS EVEN IF I WANT TO DESTROY YOU PLEASE AT LEAST GET THIS ONE THING RIGHT

PLEASE

*whimpers in corner*

[tealdear]

No! Her name is going to be Kelsey. Kelsey or Taylor or Tiffany or Alexis Jr and her middle name will be Lokina and her last name will be hyphenated Roberts-Odinson, because Loki's last name is Odinson so his daughter;s last name has to be Odinson too!

Suethor logic.

[kyouketsusha]

FUJIN LEVELS OF RAGE.

I may or may not admit to roleplaying an Asgardian elsewhere on the internet and I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE A HAND IN EJUMUCATING THE IDIOTS. The name thing is really, really one of my huge pet peeves. (Honestly, it's that usually they ALMOST have it right. Loki's name ends in an 'i', which makes his name ending change to -a for a child's patronymic. Snorri's child would be Snorrason/Snorradottir, etc. I see Lokison/Lokidottir SO OFTEN IT MAKES ME SCREAM)

NORSE FTW, SCREW YOU SUETHORS

[tealdear]

Or her name could be Princess Rowan Angelica Haley Dawn Terpsichore Cynthia Odinson. I've seen worse. Suethors love to pile on the names. Apparently it makes the character more special.

Anyway, I didn't know that about the name's. That's pretty cool. I love languages.

Also, if you rp Norse (and Norwegian is not your native tongue) this is cool sight for conjugating Germanic languages: It's how I did Loki's dialogue.

[nissatron5000]

So, I do weekly dramatic readings and this week I am going to be doing this one. Well I won't read it cause I have a sinus infection but my friend will be reading it. While I was reading I was like "SUCH A FANTASTIC GUARDIAN!!" every time she did a shitty thing that would get her fired. We latter assumed that Phil has her under observation and that the kid is a robot.

[tealdear]

Yeah, Nicole was built by Stark industries to spy on Alexis' in case she turned out to actually be Tony's kid. See, Tony planned to get rid of her with Nicole's built in heat-seeking bastard-missiles, but then he had a change of heart or something.

I don't know.

Are you posting the dramatic reading on youtube? Or just for personal enjoyment? Heh heh heh...

[nissatron5000]

It will be posted!!!! http://www.youtube.com/user/possitivelyinsane/videos here is my tube.
Speaking of which I have a great sue for the LJ.

[tealdear]

Ooooh, thank you! I'm looking forward to this.

[randombattlecry]

I wonder what the little Starki will look like? I think, if you ever wake up, you should give it a little “rain deer” helmet so it can crawl around, goring people in the calves.

Congratulations! You've won the internet!

Seriously, this fanfic transcends badness and lands somewhere north of performance art. In my head, I see all these horribly-rendered caricatures of the characters mouthing every line, and I'm not sure whether to laugh or sob.

[tealdear]

Thank you!

I've been a Marvel fan since I was a kid (biiiiiiig X-Men fan, and so now I'm all up in the Avenger's business too) and this was one of those I just wanted to scream because people did things for absolutely no discernible reason whatsoever.

And there's something about Sue's whose mere carbon presence is enough to change the entire personalities of characters that really gets me.

I'm looking at a fic now where Tony is sleeping with a seventeen year old foster child he's supposed to be taking care of. It's creepy beyond creepy.

[ext_2430225]

Way too late, I know, but everything about your spork made me die laughing. Everyone was so beautifully in-character . . . please tell me you have stories you can share, because that’s some great writing.