A/N Excerpt from Mr. Kaplan's Day Off that didn't make the cut. The set up to that being that it's Mr. Kaplan's day off from Raymond but Liz calls her into the Post Office for a series of off the books autopsies. To prevent any chain of custody issues regarding the bodies, different team members get to spend time with Mr. Kaplan.
Curriculum Vitae
Harold Cooper sized up the woman before him. What was the saying about dynamite coming in small packages?
“Reddington's only been on the run for 27 years. Before that, he was legit.” It was rude, but Harold hazarded a guess. “You've got to be what? 70? 75? I bet you've had quite the long and storied career before you met him. I'm curious. Who did you use to fix for before Reddington?”
She gave him a withering glare over the top of her glasses. “Just because Raymond is a government snitch doesn't mean I am.”
Cooper smiled grimly. “No, of course not. I was just thinking an interesting story might help to pass the time and I bet you could tell more than a few.”
When she ignored him, Harold pressed her by assuring her. “Completely off the record of course.”
She didn't even bother to lift her head.
“But if you don't want to talk, maybe you would like to listen? I could tell you a story. How about one of the very first cases I worked after graduating the academy?”
Mr. Kaplan wasn't biting, but Harold went on. “Tell me, do you like locked door mysteries?”
Ignoring him, she just picked up her scalpel and started cutting.
“There was this Russian. We really, really wanted him and we were this close -” Harold put two fingers together until they were almost but not quite touching. “- to getting him. We called him The Dom. It was a play on words. The Don from The Godfather.”
By her look of irritation, it was clear his explanation was entirely unnecessary.
“It was going to be Al Capone all over again. We couldn't get him for the really horrible thing he did, but we were going to get him by following the money. It took a lot of digging, but we found his accountant and we turned him.”
Done with her Y incision, she put down the scalpel and retracted the skin.
“Spencer had gotten us all the papers we could ever hope for, but we needed him to testify to authenticate them. It was time to get an indictment but we needed Spencer safely in WITSEC before we could do that. We were ready to pull him in, we had been ready for some time, but we couldn't force him and he kept stalling. Finally, we found out why.”
Picking up the bolt cutters borrowed from Ressler's car, she began to methodically snap the bones of the man's ribcage to get to the soft organs underneath.
“Spencer was a quiet, bookish type. Not exactly a surprise - after all, he was an accountant.”
Snap.
Cooper couldn't help but wince at the sound. Trying not to seem squeamish or put off by her complete lack of interest, he went on.
“He'd met someone. This tiny little bird. Couldn’t have weighed even a hundred pounds. She didn't even come up to here on me.” Cooper raised his hand to below his shoulder - not that Mr. Kaplan bothered to look. “I couldn't tell you the color of her eyes - she always wore these enormous Audrey Hepburn sunglasses everywhere, even indoors, even at night.”
Snap.
“Her apartment was on Beacon St. His office was on Boylston. There was - and I believe still is - a public garden between those two streets. She used to go there every day - rain or shine - around noon to enjoy the sun and the fresh air. He would always take his lunch outside and sit on one of the benches there. That was where they met. Met and fell in love.”
Snap.
“He wanted to take her with him into the program.”
“I'm not entering the program without her - or at least not without asking her.”
“I was in my boss, Brook's, office - we all were, while Spencer was on the phone with her trying to get her to agree to meet him that night at his house.”
“There's something important I need to discuss with you … privately. I'd like you to come to my house for dinner.”
“She straight up laughed at him.”
“What kind of a girl do you take me for? I'll meet you for dinner, but at a restaurant. Where would you like to meet?”
“We had a restaurant to use, but protocol dictated that we couldn't give the name of the restaurant to our protectee in advance. We told him to tell her that he would pick her up.
“He tried to tell us it wouldn't work. One of the things he loved about her was how independent she was. She would always meet him places. She never let him pick her up. But we had our protocol to follow.”
“I'm blind - not helpless.”
“Just like he warned us, she refused. When we tried to get him to push, she shot him down.”
“You're being ridiculous. If you won't tell me where we're having dinner tonight, I'll tell you where I am going to be having dinner tonight - at the Parker House. I'll be there for 7 if you would care to join me. I am hanging up the phone now.”
“Her name was Hildy and of course we looked into her. She had quite the interesting back story. Tragic really. She used to travel all around the world working for various museums as a cleaner. She did restoration work on some of the most famous paintings in the world - of course that was before she went blind. Diabetes.
“We cleared out the dining room at the Parker House that night because of course we couldn't have him overheard asking her to join him in the WITSEC program.
“Spencer was nervous. He was going to wait until the entree to broach the subject, but Hildy was a smart cookie. She could tell that there was something wrong with him and she could tell that something wasn't right with the room that should have been crowded with diners. He only made it until the wine was at the table and their appetizers were served before she got it out of him.”
“You don't know what you're asking.”
“I know I don't know, Hildy, but I'm still asking.”
“You want me to leave my home. My routines. This city. To go where? You can't even tell me. You don't even know!”
“Her hand was resting on the table. He grabbed for it.”
“Hildy please. Just think about it.”
“She seemed at a loss for words - which was understandable.”
“I know it's a lot to ask.”
“That's an understatement. We don’t even know if we are compatible.”
“Of course we're compatible. We get along great. We've talked for hours.”
“I don't mean like that.”
“There was a clanking of glasses when she knocked over their bottle of red wine as she tried to reach across the table with the hand he wasn't holding. She knocked it over right on to him.”
“Oh! How clumsy of me.”
“It's fine! It's fine. It's just a little spill.”
“Spencer started to grab the cloth napkins to clean up the spilled wine, but he forgot all about it as she found his face with her hand.”
“I meant compatible like this.”
“Brushing her thumb across his lip, she beckoned him towards her for a kiss.”
“Pulling back, she made a suggestion.”
“Maybe before we get too far ahead of ourselves we should confirm that we are compatible in that way.”
“Spencer agreed.”
“Right.”
“It was a nice restaurant. Too nice. The table had too many things on it. Besides the water glasses, they gave you a different wine glass for each course and they expected you to have a lot of courses. As Spencer tried to settle back into his seat after their kiss, he wasn't paying attention. He hit two of the glasses.
“I was standing nearby with Hobbs, one of the other, older more experienced agents. He was trying to be helpful, but he made a judgment error. He grabbed the glasses to keep them from falling and breaking. It was the wrong move. It highlighted the fact that we were all just sitting there listening to every word they said, watching every move they made.
“It made Hildy uncomfortable.”
“I don't want to have this conversation here. I'd like to go somewhere more private to … talk. Why don't you see if you can get us a room upstairs?”
“We booked them into the honeymoon suite.
“Halfway through the elevator ride, her hand brushed up against his and he grabbed onto it like it was a lifeline. I remember thinking if she agrees to go with him what an incredible story they would have of how they got together that they would never be able to tell anyone.
“I also remember thinking either way it will all work out in our favor because if after the honeymoon suite she says no, she won't go, he's going to have all the more reason to want to move away and change his name.
“By the time we made it upstairs, our unit chief, Brooks, and a few of the more experienced agents had already cleared the suite. They checked the closets, under the bed. They even lifted the mattress off the box spring to make sure nothing and no one could be hiding inside.
“We didn't have a female agent in the unit so before letting her into the room, Brooks patted her down himself.
“Spencer objected.” “Is that really necessary?”
“Hildy said it was fine.” “He's just doing his job.”
“When we first entered the suite Hildy used her collapsible cane to pace off the rooms, to map out where the furniture and doors were. The suite consisted of three rooms - the outer room had a seating area and a writing desk, there was the bedroom and then the bathroom. We were all spellbound watching her. It made me start to understand just how huge a sacrifice it would be for her to agree to go with Spencer. A new life, a new city, a new house - seeing her struggle to familiarize herself with just the small hotel suite made me realize what an ordeal it would be for her.”
“I got to search her handbag. Mints. A tube of lipstick. Subway tokens. Her insulin. Money. I was fascinated. All the different denominations of money were folded in different ways so that she could distinguish between them - it was almost like origami.
“I remember holding up the little case with it's three prefilled syringes and looking to my supervisor for guidance. Hildy asked me if I was almost done because it was time for her insulin.”
“My supervisor gave the okay so I asked her which one. She said it didn't matter. They were all the same. I picked one of the three at random and handed it to her. We all watched her inject herself with it.
“We were so close and we had gotten so paranoid, when the complimentary champagne that came with the honeymoon suite arrived we lifted the cloth twice to make sure nothing and no one was under the room service cart. We wouldn't even let the bellboy from the hotel bring it in. Our unit chief, Brooks, actually wheeled it in himself.
“We left them alone - or as alone as they could be with our armed agents at the door and U.S. Marshalls on the roof above and on the roof next door trying to peer through the closed curtains.
“Not two minutes later, Hildy opened the door. She didn't have her cane. I guess once she learned a room she didn't need to use it anymore.”
“Are you gentleman really going to be standing out here ... listening? You couldn't just pop down to the bar for a nightcap of your own?”
“I'm sorry, ma'am. This is as far away as we can go.”
“She was clearly embarrassed to have us there.” “Would it be all right if I turned on the radio?”
“Brooks approved the request.” “Just don't make it too loud.”
“She closed the door and not five seconds later we heard her cry out. We rushed the door, guns drawn to find she had banged her knee walking into the room service trolley. We got it out of her way. We put the glasses and the champagne on the desk and then we wheeled it out of the room. We left it down the hall so one of the hotel staff would grab it the next time they came by.
“We would have been concerned that Spencer didn't come running as well but we could hear the shower running in the bathroom.”
“Spencer is freshening up. I didn't realize just how much wine I spilled on him downstairs. Since you're here anyway would one of you mind helping me with the radio?”
“I went into the bedroom with her. Everything looked as it should. I turned on the clock radio for her. We went back and forth for a minute between classical and easy listening before settling on smooth jazz. Then I went back into the hall.
“I'll spare you all the crude jokes we made to pass the time - about all that build up for something that was only going to last two minutes.
“We gave them as long as we could, but after we stood out in the hall for almost an hour, the head of the Marshalls team came over and said enough was enough. It was time to go.
“We knocked and we waited. No one came to the door. No one responded to ask for more time.
“We already had the key so we let ourselves in.
“Smooth jazz was still playing. Other than the champagne bottle being gone, not a thing was different in the outer room, but when we got to the bedroom ...
“There was arterial spray on the bedroom wall.
“There was no mistaking that someone had died in that room.
“No bodies though. We went into the bathroom. By the ring of blood in the tub it was pretty obvious that the killer or killers had cut Spencer up in there. At the time we assumed to get him into small enough pieces to fold nicely into luggage for easy transport. After all, no one would look twice at a suitcase being rolled out of a hotel.”
Cooper couldn't keep the scorn out of his voice at this next detail. “The champagne bottle was in the bathroom sink - empty. While they worked, the killer or killers had drank it.
“We found Hildy stuffed under the vanity in the bathroom with one of the hotel washcloths in her mouth as a makeshift gag. Like I said before, she was a tiny little thing.
“At first, we thought she was dead, but when we pulled her out she flinched and tried to get away. To get back under the sink. She didn't say a word, she only let out a little whimper when we took out the gag.
“In the moment, we thought they left her alive because what kind of a witness could she be? It wasn't as if she could identify them.
“Hobbs tried to take her by the arm, to help her up.”
“I won't say anything! I won't tell!”
“It took a moment for us to realize she didn't know we weren't the people she had just heard murder and dismember her boyfriend.
“Hobbs tried to reassure her.”
“It's over. You're safe, Hildy. You're safe.”
“She batted at Hobbs as he again tried to get her to her feet.”
“I promise! I won't tell anyone! Just let me go!”
“Between going through her purse and helping her with the radio, I spent the most time with her. Brooks realized that. He told me to try.
“She recognized my voice. She couldn't remember my name. She called me -”
“Smooth Jazz?”
“She collapsed in my arms. I know she didn't weigh a hundred pounds because I carried her out of that bathroom, out of the suite, down the elevator, and out to the ambulance we called for her.
“She was shaking like a leaf as she clung to me.
“After the paramedics had her loaded, I reported back upstairs.
“We tore the room apart trying to figure out how the killer or killers got in and back out with Spencer's body. We were standing at the only door. They couldn't have gone in or gotten him out through the windows - we had people watching them. There was no adjoining room. The room was on the top floor and we had people on the roof so we know the killer didn't tunnel down. The killer didn't tunnel up. We pulled out the carpet looking for any holes in the flooring underneath. We searched and we searched but we didn't find any trap doors or hidden passageways. No moving bookcases. There wasn't a dumbwaiter or a laundry chute. There wasn't a hidden compartment - there wasn't even a spot big enough to hide the tools necessary to dismember a body or the chemicals to disintegrate one.
“It was like they walked through the walls and -”
Finally, Mr. Kaplan interrupted him. She sounded less than impressed. ”- It's not a very challenging mystery. Clearly, the woman did it.”
“I know that.” Harold agreed. “What I want to know, is how you did it.”
tbc