Fic(let): Love like lightsabers
I just finished my work for class, and this is the first thing I did with my newfound free time.
AND I'M NOT SORRY.
Title: Love like lightsabers
Characters: Castiel/Zachariah's hot cousin angel, Dean, Sam
Ratings/Warnings: PG-13 unless you're a glowing ball of light, then NC-17.
Word Count: 500
Summary: A very scientific examination of how things really are.
And lo, the angel Castiel did wish to fornicate with some dude angel who was probably Zachariah’s cousin or something. The Lord God’s Heaven was a place of love, and so it was that theirs was celebrated by the other angels and encouraged with much cheering and whooping. But the angel Castiel and Zachariah’s hot cousin angel, having no earthly anatomy with which to fornicate, had to express their holy love in the manner of their true angelic forms.
The true forms of angels being too intense to make whoopy without everyone in the higher plane knowing of it, the angel Castiel and Zachariah’s hot cousin angel fled into outer space to unleash their passion. Their light illuminated the darkness of space, two beacons of pure white in the void. They made out a little, threads of light caressing one another. And then, with the sun to their backs, the two began to fornicate.
The brilliant angelic lights crashed together, zzzhoooming and crrracking like light sabers in a battle. The surface of the sun did ignite hotter at the touch of their holy energy. And when the angel Castiel and Zachariah’s hot cousin angel reached the peak of their love, the sun burst with them, arcs of its own energy flaring into the void.
*
Dean crossed his arms. “And that is what really happened.”
“That is not how sun spots occur,” Castiel said, frowning at him.
“Is so. I read it in a book.”
“What book?”
“The Bible.”
“That’s not in the Bible,” Castiel said, picking up a Gideon bible from the motel dresser to check.
“Dude,” Sam said, pinching his brows together, “why do all your angel-based explanations of natural phenomenon involve Castiel being gay?”
Dean shrugged. “It’s science, Sammy.”
“Zachariah doesn’t have a cousin,” Castiel called from the other side of the room, where he had his nose in the good book. “We are all siblings in God’s eyes. And I don’t see anything in here about angel fornication.”
“Keep looking.”
“Dean…” Sam said, rolling his eyes.
“Next,” Dean announced, raising a finger toward the ceiling, “How my laptop got infected with viruses. ‘Lo, and God told the angel Castiel to stay away from the cock porn, but the angel Castiel did rebel and was cast out of Heaven’-”
“That is not how I rebelled,” Castiel interjected.
“You’re screwing up the story, Dean,” Sam said, slouching back in his chair.
Dean dropped his hands to the table. “Do you guys wanna listen to me tell you how it is, or do you want to huddle together on the bed and watch American Idol?”
Sam and Castiel looked at each other, and a silent message passed between their eyebrows.
“What kind of cock porn?” Castiel asked with a sigh.
“The kind with big hairy leather daddies,” Dean answered, putting on his scholarly voice again. “Now, as I was saying…”
THE END
AND I'M NOT SORRY.
Title: Love like lightsabers
Characters: Castiel/Zachariah's hot cousin angel, Dean, Sam
Ratings/Warnings: PG-13 unless you're a glowing ball of light, then NC-17.
Word Count: 500
Summary: A very scientific examination of how things really are.
And lo, the angel Castiel did wish to fornicate with some dude angel who was probably Zachariah’s cousin or something. The Lord God’s Heaven was a place of love, and so it was that theirs was celebrated by the other angels and encouraged with much cheering and whooping. But the angel Castiel and Zachariah’s hot cousin angel, having no earthly anatomy with which to fornicate, had to express their holy love in the manner of their true angelic forms.
The true forms of angels being too intense to make whoopy without everyone in the higher plane knowing of it, the angel Castiel and Zachariah’s hot cousin angel fled into outer space to unleash their passion. Their light illuminated the darkness of space, two beacons of pure white in the void. They made out a little, threads of light caressing one another. And then, with the sun to their backs, the two began to fornicate.
The brilliant angelic lights crashed together, zzzhoooming and crrracking like light sabers in a battle. The surface of the sun did ignite hotter at the touch of their holy energy. And when the angel Castiel and Zachariah’s hot cousin angel reached the peak of their love, the sun burst with them, arcs of its own energy flaring into the void.
*
Dean crossed his arms. “And that is what really happened.”
“That is not how sun spots occur,” Castiel said, frowning at him.
“Is so. I read it in a book.”
“What book?”
“The Bible.”
“That’s not in the Bible,” Castiel said, picking up a Gideon bible from the motel dresser to check.
“Dude,” Sam said, pinching his brows together, “why do all your angel-based explanations of natural phenomenon involve Castiel being gay?”
Dean shrugged. “It’s science, Sammy.”
“Zachariah doesn’t have a cousin,” Castiel called from the other side of the room, where he had his nose in the good book. “We are all siblings in God’s eyes. And I don’t see anything in here about angel fornication.”
“Keep looking.”
“Dean…” Sam said, rolling his eyes.
“Next,” Dean announced, raising a finger toward the ceiling, “How my laptop got infected with viruses. ‘Lo, and God told the angel Castiel to stay away from the cock porn, but the angel Castiel did rebel and was cast out of Heaven’-”
“That is not how I rebelled,” Castiel interjected.
“You’re screwing up the story, Dean,” Sam said, slouching back in his chair.
Dean dropped his hands to the table. “Do you guys wanna listen to me tell you how it is, or do you want to huddle together on the bed and watch American Idol?”
Sam and Castiel looked at each other, and a silent message passed between their eyebrows.
“What kind of cock porn?” Castiel asked with a sigh.
“The kind with big hairy leather daddies,” Dean answered, putting on his scholarly voice again. “Now, as I was saying…”
THE END