that one time... (1/1)
that one time... (aka 'stupid cat fic') (crack, pg-13) by holdmetightx
yunho/changmin (yoochun/hishand), 1222 words.
this is all yuxo's fault. i will never, ever live this fic down. sigh, brb killing myself.
“I don’t have the time for this,” Jaejoong states, arms crossed across his chest as he stares down at the kitten in the middle of the table, “seriously, no time at all.”
“It’s not like we can actually do anything about it.” Junsu argues from next to Jaejoong, completely and utterly unhelpful as Yoochun sidles into the kitchen, sweat pants hung low and shirt riding up from where he’s scratching his stomach.
“What’s up?” He yawns, grabbing an apple from the bowl and biting half of it off.
“Changmin turned into a cat overnight.” Jaejoong deadpans and the cat blinks, examines its paw before licking it.
“Changmin did not turn into a cat,” Yunho demands from where he’s sitting head in his hands, “fans must’ve broken in, kidnapped Changmin and left a cat in his place.”
“Because that happens all the time.” Yoochun garbles around a mouthful of fruit as he bends down to examine the cat.
"Yeah, and so does people turning into cats." Yunho retorts back, full of sarcasm.
“It’s a very Changmin cat.” Yoochun states upon further examination, still chewing loudly.
“See,” Jaejoong smile is smug and he untangles his crossed arms just to place them on his hips, pushing his chest out, "all I know is Changmin's stuff is all still here, his pyjamas are in his bed and the front door was still locked this morning."
“There’s really only one way we’ll find out.” Junsu finally says and reaches out a hand towards the cat, Changmin, to which it swats a paw and bites down hard on Junsu’s index finger. Yunho cries a little inside.
“My boyfriend,” Yunho manages with a deep suction of breath, “is a cat.”
-
No matter how hard they try to fight it, the cat definitely resembles Changmin from the splotch of brown on the white fur of its neck to the three bowls of tuna he finishes in the morning. And whilst the rest spend the morning quietly freak out (Jaejoong on the phone because Yunho’s too busy trying to suffocate himself and Junsu trying to subtly ask Hyukjae about that one time Sungmin went missing) Yoochun rolls with it, sneaking some kimchi into the bowl of tuna and placing headphones on Changmin's ears when he wanders into the study and sits on his desk.
“How’s the chorus?” Yoochun asks as he pulls off the headphones and Changmin blinks, tilting his head to the side and letting out a soft meow, “yeah I thought so too, needs less piano.”
“You do know you’re talking to a cat, right?” Yunho asks from the doorway.
“Suffocation didn’t work then?” Yoochun questions back, leaning back in his chair and stretching out his arms above him as Yunho steps into the room and towards the desk.
“I gave up after a while, purple really isn’t my colour,” Yunho dead pans, “still a cat then?” He directs towards Changmin’s who’s pouncing after the computer mouse much to Yoochun’s amusement.
“Your boyfriend’s a kitty.” Yoochun sing-songs, moving the mouse swiftly out of Changmin’s path.
“At least my only company isn't my right hand.” Yunho sing-songs right back and makes a run for it, the soft patter of paws right behind him.
-
"What are we going to do?" Yunho sighs from where he's knelt on the floor next to the table, eye-level with Changmin who's chasing his own tail, "you're so lucky we're off schedule, you know Junsu's never going to let you live this down."
The kitten meows in response, crawling towards the end of the table, bent low with predatory eyes. When it reaches the end of the table, right in front of where Yunho’s sitting with his chin resting on his hands, it makes a swipe at the tip of Yunho's nose and meows loudly as Yunho jerks back.
Junsu finds Yunho spread out on the kitchen floor, a long scratch running down his arm and an extremely miffed cat sat in the corner.
“There's cat hair all over your shirt.” He comments, stepping on Yunho's stomach instead of stepping over him and Yunho lets out a rush of air, pinching the back of Junsu's thigh.
-
“I pray to God that this... this thing is like a 24 hour bug because if not I’m going to get arrested for kitty-murder.” Jaejoong growls as steps out of his bedroom with Changmin on his shoulder. There’s a piece of hair sticking up from Jaejoong’s fringe and Changmin’s sat back on his haunches, a paw on Jaejoong’s head and the other swatting at the stray hair.
Despite the look of pure death on Jaejoong’s face he still has a hand hovering protectively over Changmin and he walks with careful, precise steps.
"You know what you have to do," Yoochun cuts in from where he's lying on the sofa, book held over his head, "have sex with him."
"What?" Yunho splutters.
"I don't know, it usually solves things." Yoochun shrugs.
"I'm not having sex with a cat you retard." Yunho growls, reaching over to hit the book out of Yoochun's grasp so it slams him in the face instead.
-
Except it's more than a 24 hour thing and it takes 3 days of stress and a ridiculously energetic kitten for it to get too much and for Yunho to wake up in the morning with warmth pressed against his front instead of a ball of fluff up his nose.
“Changmin,” Yunho chokes out once he realizes that he is actually awake, “Changmin wake up.” The form stirs next to him, swatting the hand away and burying deeper into the pillow.
“5 more minutes.” Changmin mumbles, twisting the covers around his legs.
“No, fuck, Changmin,” Yunho growls, louder as he shakes Changmin awake this time, “you're back.” With uncoordinated movements, Changmin finally opens his eyes, pulls back the cover just to check and then he's out of bed, out of the room and across the hall into the bathroom.
It only takes a minute for Changmin to rush back into the room, slide across the floor and jump back onto the bed and more specifically on top of Yunho.
“Fish breath,” Changmin explains before he's kissing Yunho for the first time it what feels like for-fucking-ever with minty fresh breath and then he's pulling back, “this is so awesome,” he states, running his fingers through Yunho's hair, “fingers. Fingers are awesome,” he kisses Yunho again, tightening said fingers, “opposable thumbs too.” He adds as an afterthought and it's around that time that Yunho realizes Changmin's completely naked.
“Opposable thumbs are pretty awesome.” Yunho agrees, canting his hips up and pulling Changmin closer.
“Missed you, don't miss the tail in the slightest though,” He murmurs, rocking down onto Yunho's hips, “that's awesome too,” he states a second later with a glance down and through a moan, “it's like going through puberty all over again.”
Yunho laughs, arms wound around Changmin and that's that. Except it takes a few weeks for Changmin to stop subconsciously licking the back of his hand and Junsu to stop making cat noises in every interview they do.
jisdoajksaeeas i can't actually believe i wrote this.
yunho/changmin (yoochun/hishand), 1222 words.
this is all yuxo's fault. i will never, ever live this fic down. sigh, brb killing myself.
“I don’t have the time for this,” Jaejoong states, arms crossed across his chest as he stares down at the kitten in the middle of the table, “seriously, no time at all.”
“It’s not like we can actually do anything about it.” Junsu argues from next to Jaejoong, completely and utterly unhelpful as Yoochun sidles into the kitchen, sweat pants hung low and shirt riding up from where he’s scratching his stomach.
“What’s up?” He yawns, grabbing an apple from the bowl and biting half of it off.
“Changmin turned into a cat overnight.” Jaejoong deadpans and the cat blinks, examines its paw before licking it.
“Changmin did not turn into a cat,” Yunho demands from where he’s sitting head in his hands, “fans must’ve broken in, kidnapped Changmin and left a cat in his place.”
“Because that happens all the time.” Yoochun garbles around a mouthful of fruit as he bends down to examine the cat.
"Yeah, and so does people turning into cats." Yunho retorts back, full of sarcasm.
“It’s a very Changmin cat.” Yoochun states upon further examination, still chewing loudly.
“See,” Jaejoong smile is smug and he untangles his crossed arms just to place them on his hips, pushing his chest out, "all I know is Changmin's stuff is all still here, his pyjamas are in his bed and the front door was still locked this morning."
“There’s really only one way we’ll find out.” Junsu finally says and reaches out a hand towards the cat, Changmin, to which it swats a paw and bites down hard on Junsu’s index finger. Yunho cries a little inside.
“My boyfriend,” Yunho manages with a deep suction of breath, “is a cat.”
-
No matter how hard they try to fight it, the cat definitely resembles Changmin from the splotch of brown on the white fur of its neck to the three bowls of tuna he finishes in the morning. And whilst the rest spend the morning quietly freak out (Jaejoong on the phone because Yunho’s too busy trying to suffocate himself and Junsu trying to subtly ask Hyukjae about that one time Sungmin went missing) Yoochun rolls with it, sneaking some kimchi into the bowl of tuna and placing headphones on Changmin's ears when he wanders into the study and sits on his desk.
“How’s the chorus?” Yoochun asks as he pulls off the headphones and Changmin blinks, tilting his head to the side and letting out a soft meow, “yeah I thought so too, needs less piano.”
“You do know you’re talking to a cat, right?” Yunho asks from the doorway.
“Suffocation didn’t work then?” Yoochun questions back, leaning back in his chair and stretching out his arms above him as Yunho steps into the room and towards the desk.
“I gave up after a while, purple really isn’t my colour,” Yunho dead pans, “still a cat then?” He directs towards Changmin’s who’s pouncing after the computer mouse much to Yoochun’s amusement.
“Your boyfriend’s a kitty.” Yoochun sing-songs, moving the mouse swiftly out of Changmin’s path.
“At least my only company isn't my right hand.” Yunho sing-songs right back and makes a run for it, the soft patter of paws right behind him.
-
"What are we going to do?" Yunho sighs from where he's knelt on the floor next to the table, eye-level with Changmin who's chasing his own tail, "you're so lucky we're off schedule, you know Junsu's never going to let you live this down."
The kitten meows in response, crawling towards the end of the table, bent low with predatory eyes. When it reaches the end of the table, right in front of where Yunho’s sitting with his chin resting on his hands, it makes a swipe at the tip of Yunho's nose and meows loudly as Yunho jerks back.
Junsu finds Yunho spread out on the kitchen floor, a long scratch running down his arm and an extremely miffed cat sat in the corner.
“There's cat hair all over your shirt.” He comments, stepping on Yunho's stomach instead of stepping over him and Yunho lets out a rush of air, pinching the back of Junsu's thigh.
-
“I pray to God that this... this thing is like a 24 hour bug because if not I’m going to get arrested for kitty-murder.” Jaejoong growls as steps out of his bedroom with Changmin on his shoulder. There’s a piece of hair sticking up from Jaejoong’s fringe and Changmin’s sat back on his haunches, a paw on Jaejoong’s head and the other swatting at the stray hair.
Despite the look of pure death on Jaejoong’s face he still has a hand hovering protectively over Changmin and he walks with careful, precise steps.
"You know what you have to do," Yoochun cuts in from where he's lying on the sofa, book held over his head, "have sex with him."
"What?" Yunho splutters.
"I don't know, it usually solves things." Yoochun shrugs.
"I'm not having sex with a cat you retard." Yunho growls, reaching over to hit the book out of Yoochun's grasp so it slams him in the face instead.
-
Except it's more than a 24 hour thing and it takes 3 days of stress and a ridiculously energetic kitten for it to get too much and for Yunho to wake up in the morning with warmth pressed against his front instead of a ball of fluff up his nose.
“Changmin,” Yunho chokes out once he realizes that he is actually awake, “Changmin wake up.” The form stirs next to him, swatting the hand away and burying deeper into the pillow.
“5 more minutes.” Changmin mumbles, twisting the covers around his legs.
“No, fuck, Changmin,” Yunho growls, louder as he shakes Changmin awake this time, “you're back.” With uncoordinated movements, Changmin finally opens his eyes, pulls back the cover just to check and then he's out of bed, out of the room and across the hall into the bathroom.
It only takes a minute for Changmin to rush back into the room, slide across the floor and jump back onto the bed and more specifically on top of Yunho.
“Fish breath,” Changmin explains before he's kissing Yunho for the first time it what feels like for-fucking-ever with minty fresh breath and then he's pulling back, “this is so awesome,” he states, running his fingers through Yunho's hair, “fingers. Fingers are awesome,” he kisses Yunho again, tightening said fingers, “opposable thumbs too.” He adds as an afterthought and it's around that time that Yunho realizes Changmin's completely naked.
“Opposable thumbs are pretty awesome.” Yunho agrees, canting his hips up and pulling Changmin closer.
“Missed you, don't miss the tail in the slightest though,” He murmurs, rocking down onto Yunho's hips, “that's awesome too,” he states a second later with a glance down and through a moan, “it's like going through puberty all over again.”
Yunho laughs, arms wound around Changmin and that's that. Except it takes a few weeks for Changmin to stop subconsciously licking the back of his hand and Junsu to stop making cat noises in every interview they do.
jisdoajksaeeas i can't actually believe i wrote this.