Mass Effect Kink Meme: PART XI

Jul 16, 2012 13:25

The Mass Effect Kink Meme has moved to Dreamwidth. The Dreamwidth URL for this part is: https://masseffectkink.dreamwidth.org/4840.html

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Cmdr IDGAF (post-reaper femshep/garrus(?)) anonymous July 27 2012, 03:36:13 UTC
AW MAN summertime with my balls to wall bananas grammy has me hankerin for some Old Crotchety Femshep.

I'd love to see her retired and doing whatever the fuck she wants. Cruisin' in her hoverchair (lawd). Handing out criticism to some overzealous marines. Trolling the youngins (it's the future sure, but I think whippersnappers will still be a definite variable). Up to you!

Also you can add her Old Crotchety Hubby Garrus there to maybe make whatever they do into like a contest (you know they would), but romance isn't mandatory for me. (But if you do, I'd love you even more.)

Bonus pts if we get old lady dancing Shep.

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Re: Cmdr IDGAF (post-reaper femshep/garrus(?)) anonymous July 27 2012, 03:37:39 UTC
This prompt has me in stitches! Someone fill this, pleaaaaaase!

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Re: Cmdr IDGAF (post-reaper femshep/garrus(?)) anonymous July 27 2012, 03:43:45 UTC
BACK IN MY DAY, WE DROVE THE MAKO UP 70 DEGREE ANGLES IN THE SNOW

WE HAD NONE OF YOUR MASS EFFECT FIELD-PROPELLED SURVEY CONTRAPTIONS

WE DID ALL OF OUR CALIBRATIONS OURSELVES

DIDN'T HAVE ANY OF THESE "NEO GETH INDUSTRIES" CALIBRATORS

THAT'S JUST CHEATING

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Re: Cmdr IDGAF (post-reaper femshep/garrus(?)) anonymous July 27 2012, 04:47:28 UTC
ROFLMAforeeverrrr

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Re: Cmdr IDGAF (post-reaper femshep/garrus(?)) anonymous July 27 2012, 06:04:22 UTC
Oh god I'm in love...

Please Anon, can they have a Mako parked in their driveway? And anyone who tries to complain about women drivers, or old drivers, or really just Shep's driving at all gets their ass run over. My love for this couple is only rivaled by my love for the Mako.

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Re: Cmdr IDGAF (post-reaper femshep/garrus(?)) anonymous July 29 2012, 00:32:46 UTC
I loled so hard.

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Re: Cmdr IDGAF (post-reaper femshep/garrus(?)) anonymous July 27 2012, 06:36:38 UTC
wts Garrus with a shotgun on the lawn, Gran Torino style...

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op hurr anonymous July 29 2012, 04:39:35 UTC
and then retired vanguard Shep inside, old lady cackling because her husband couldn't shoot a shotgun to save his life /adds to prompt-request

aw man all these beautiful anons with the good ideas. hopefully we get a series of fills for wrinkly shakarian

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Re: op hurr anonymous July 29 2012, 04:58:39 UTC
You just made me laugh so damn hard with the shotgun comment I choked a little. It's sort of like vanguard Shep being given the option to best Garrus with a sniper- I 'let' him win because there was no way in hell assault rifle/shotgun happy vanguard Shep would be able to best the sniper king.

Now I want her to cackle about him shitting up trying to use a shotgun and be brings up the bottle shooting. For the five hundreth time. Because he was waaaaay too goddamn proud of himself and it was adorable.

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A Day At The Races (1/1) anonymous August 1 2012, 02:33:30 UTC
a/n: Didn't see these other posts before I wrote the other fic so then I had to write a second one I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY OP, GOD

___

Garrus fired, and every shard of buckshot went wide. He growled in frustration, fired again, and missed. Again. With buckshot.

Shepard was clutching her stomach and cackling like a mad woman. "How's it feel?" she asked smugly. "Wanna have that one bronzed, too?"

The rifle she was referring to, currently hung lovingly above their mantle, had been an anniversary present she'd given him. She had never suspected how prominent a position it would have in their home, however, and that had been a point of contention between them for a long time. It wasn't a series of arguments so much as one long argument lasting about ten years. She was still convinced she was in the right.

"How do you even aim this thing?" he asked, frustrated and curious at the same time as he examined the thing like he'd never held a gun before in his life. "There's not even a proper rail on it ( ... )

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Re: A Day At The Races (1/1) anonymous August 1 2012, 02:43:00 UTC
Brb dying of laughter.

Oh, and this:
Garrus crossed his arms and stared her down. "I haven't died," he said. "I'd say that puts me one up on you."

"I can fix that for you if you want,"

Has me in stitches, as in I can't breathe, as in I'm sending you my funeral bill and all my everythings cause you're the best A!A !

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Re: A Day At The Races (1/1) anonymous August 1 2012, 04:37:16 UTC
Too cute. I can totally see them doing this, even in old age. ;)

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Re: A Day At The Races (1/1) anonymous August 2 2012, 00:32:43 UTC
Fun little read! Thanks A!A.

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Re: A Day At The Races (1/1) anonymous August 2 2012, 04:06:22 UTC
Not OP, but I responded to OP about the glory of Femshep laughing at Garrus' inability to use a shotgun.

As far as I'm concerned you just won the Kink Meme, that was magnificent and everything I could have wanted ^^

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Re: A Day At The Races (1/1) anonymous August 2 2012, 09:06:40 UTC
oh jeeesus this is amazing. a!a thank you so much holy shit, this is exactly what I wanted. old lady shep enjoying the Bottle Shooter King's downfall, and then showing him up by spraying victory from the hip. there's that Ms. Goddamn Vanguard Shep i know. so proud c:

also
lmfao did he just try to sight with a goddamn shotgun? RAPTOR-HUSBAND PLS YOU'LL KNOCK OFF YOUR MANDIBLES
and
aw fuck the schimitar? yesyesyes. eh who am i kidding? i love all the shotguns

but man I can only imagine what Garrus would do with the Claymore. actually i'd love to see Tali's reaction to this, considering i always gave her that particular gun. HAHAHA "I had a shotgun, and I'm really glad you didn't, Garrus."

oh and the "I haven't died" line - screamed. YES. your voices were perfect, a!a, their interaction flowed perfectly and the image was as clear as crystal in my head. fantastic job tysfm.

a/n: Didn't see these other posts before I wrote the other fic so then I had to write a second one I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY OP, GOD
YOU HAVE NO IDEA A/N, NO IDEA

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OP btw anonymous August 2 2012, 09:34:07 UTC

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