Mass Effect Kink Meme: PART XVIII

Jun 24, 2013 13:42

The Mass Effect Kink Meme has moved to Dreamwidth. The Dreamwidth URL for this part is: https://masseffectkink.dreamwidth.org/6869.html

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FemShep/Liara + Others -- Answering Machine [Filled] anonymous July 1 2013, 20:23:08 UTC
I'm filling this prompt: http://masseffectkink.livejournal.com/5736.html?thread=24906600#t24906600

Which reads as follows:
Finally married and/or moved in together, Liara decides that it's time to record a couple-y "we live together now" message on the answering machine.

Just to have fun with it, Shepard decides to start random shenanigans to distract Liara during the recording (like seducing Liara or something like that) or choses to record "bad" messages.

I'd like a fill to include other people's reactions to the "bad" and/or incomplete messages, can be crew, can be random NPC (like a pizza boy).

Humor fill would be great, but I leave it up to the a!a to decide how to run with it.

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The Answering Machine (1/2) anonymous July 1 2013, 20:25:07 UTC
“How does this thing work?” Liara's voice muttered. “I cannot... what is this? The light is red. Should the light be red? Shepard? Help me with- [BEEP].”

* * *

Garrus laughed as he listened to the message. “If you figure out how to get this, then call my omni tool. The Primarch sent me to Earth, so I'll be around for at least a week. [BEEP]”

* * *

“I think... yes... the light is red,” Liara's voice said. “We want it to be red, because that means that we are ready to record. No, wait... that means that it is recording. Shepard? Does that mean- [BEEP].”

* * *

Wrex eyed his omni tool warily for a moment before finally rumbling an answer. “Shepard? I don't know what that was, but give me a call. I lost Grunt in New York. You'd think someone his size would stick out, but I just turned my back for minute and he was gone. He's your kid, so you should [BEEP] find him. Hello?”

* * *

“-message and we will... wait,” Liara's voice said. “The light came on after I began my message, but before I finished. Does that mean ( ... )

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The Answering Machine (2/2) anonymous July 1 2013, 20:26:31 UTC
“This is the T'Soni-Shepard residence,” Liara said. “We are not- ohh. Shepard! I am trying to record- ohh, mmm. That is... yes! [BEEP].”

* * *

“Ha!” Aethyta said. “That's my daughter's bondmate. Knew you had it in you. I'll catch up later... don't stop on my account! [BEEP].”

* * *

“This is the T'Soni,” Liara said.

“And Shepard!” Shepard interjected.

“Residence,” Liara continued. “We are not available at this time, so if you desire to contact us and it is not so urgent as to send a message more directly to our omni tools, then you may- [BEEP].”

* * *

“Shepard,” Admiral Hackett said, smiling slightly. “I was hoping you could speak at the Academy graduation. Call me back. Hackett [BEEP] out.”

* * *

“This is the T'Soni-Shepard residence,” Liara said. “Leave a message! ...I know that it is dull, but I think that it is a superior approach to your foolishness Shep- [BEEP].”“Hey, Lola, Doc,” Vega said. “I'm on Earth for a week. Call me back! And now I really wanna know what loco message you had come up with before ( ... )

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Re: The Answering Machine (2/2) anonymous July 1 2013, 20:41:34 UTC
*dies laughing* That was excellent.

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OP here anonymous July 2 2013, 01:56:53 UTC
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAA so funnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy xD

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OP here anonymous July 1 2013, 23:45:12 UTC
ROFLMFAO!!!

Couldn't stop laughing for a very long time. The reactions and the messages are awesome! And Joker calling back several times! HAHAHAHA!!!

Thanks a!a!!!!

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Re: The Answering Machine (2/2) anonymous July 2 2013, 01:12:51 UTC
Brilliant.

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Re: The Answering Machine (2/2) anonymous July 2 2013, 03:59:03 UTC
That was fucking amazing, I nearly choked on my lunch!

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Re: The Answering Machine (2/2) anonymous July 2 2013, 16:44:25 UTC
Bwahahahahah! This was awesome, a!a. Thanks for the laughs!

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Re: The Answering Machine (2/2) anonymous August 18 2013, 18:09:59 UTC
I LOVED this!! I was cracking up, haha I would have loved to read more. :D

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Re: The Answering Machine (2/2) anonymous October 4 2013, 19:27:18 UTC
I'm in tears and I can't stop laughing. Great work :D

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Re: The Answering Machine (1/2) anonymous July 20 2013, 15:35:55 UTC
PRICELESS!
And spot on with the voices.
THANK YOU!

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Re: The Answering Machine (1/2) anonymous August 12 2013, 03:06:44 UTC
Brilliant, entertaining, and spot-on characterization!

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