(no subject)
April 19, 2004
Dear families, friends, and readers of this letter,
Good evening to all, or good afternoon to people at California, and I hope everything is going well. I have certainly enjoyed my time at Rockfest, and I was ale to meet new friends and reunite with my old friends, especially my CSD 2003ers (classmates from my HS) at Gallaudet. Speaking of Gallaudet, I’m sure every one of you is aware hat I was planning to transfer to Gallaudet as a transfer student. Right now, I have my decision based on my experiences and observations I have made during Rockfest. It took me awhile, making mistakes, and firsthand experiences to realize and make a decision. As a conclusion, I have decided to NOT attend Gallaudet, regardless my acceptance or rejection from Gallaudet.
It was really hard decision for me to make, since I loved the campus and people of Gallaudet. They were Deaf-orientated and so proud of who they were, regardless their origins and backgrounds. However, that does not mean I am saying that NTID/RIT deaf friends I have made during this year is not Deaf-orientated nor proud for whom they are, and I will never recognize them as this way, since they have been great people whom they have won my respect. Gallaudet students/faculties were cool, smart, full of respect and manners, full of life, and I did not mind to be one of them. When I used to be younger back then, I always waned to be a brother in Kappa Gamma fraternity, which I have heard over and over again and a lot of people whom I used to look up are now a brother in Kappa Gamma fraternity. However with the decision I made, that desire will not be a reality.
There were several happy faces with the fact that I was going to transfer to Gallaudet and I, with the decision, am afraid I have turned many people down. I apologize for my behavior, but I am slowly discovering who I am, who’s around me, and what do I want. Right now, my dream of being a history professor has vanished. I now find myself no longer motivated to pursue into history field.
Fortunately, I thought of a backup plan and it may appear to be my only solution at this moment if I want to stay at RIT and receive my bachelor’s degree. The Plan B, in case Plan A fails, was for me to take Information Technology field, known as IT to RIT students, and this field covers various knowledge of computer software programs available nowadays and couple of computer skills related to graphic, maintain, and operate the computer. After IT, I will be most likely to stay at either RIT to expand my knowledge on technology, so I may work as a technology administrator at a school or a business, or I could attend CSUN after bachelor from RIT to receive a degree on secondary education/special education field to be a teacher at deaf school, teaching either Graphic Arts technology or Business Office Technology. Applying for PhD program is still on the question, but there is a possibility that I will apply, as I have promised my father that I will work to get one.
I apologize for switching and forth from wanting to attending Gallaudet and changing my mind. However this time, I made my final choice, which is to stay at RIT for bachelor, and I plan to stick with it. You may go wonder, why sudden changes? Why now? You see, last weekend I was able to think carefully after Rockfest. Let truth be told, even though I was raised in the Deaf community, I still find myself having hard time following up with their sign languages, also was hard for me to continue using ASL for long time. In result of doing that, my both forearms became sore and it was tougher to sign.
Remembering the lifestyle I had as I was a child, I slowly was able to understand which world I belong to, and I believe the word for the world I belong is mainstreamed. I grew in a family who doesn't sign, communicating by spoken Korean English, and having attended a deaf school and use sign language, so basically I lived a mainstreamed life and I have grown quite fond of my lifestyle back then, as it was mine. At Gallaudet, I was not able to live as mainstreamed; instead I was living as a Deaf person. At RIT, I was able to be around hearings and hear their sounds, even though I could not understand. Also I was able to maintain my sign at my 'resident' area, and hear and "speak" in voices even though I'm not best at it, at 'work' area, and that is during class, going to stores, and to cafeteria which resemblances my out-of-school life, which is also total opposite of my lifestyle, but I was able to maintain both world by this way. Realizing that, suddenly I started to understand RIT and love RIT's environment more. Because of that, I decided to not take risk of losing it all by attending Gallaudet. Of course, there will be times where I may regret, but for some reason, there is something inside me that telling me that I will end up coming back to RIT.
There were also thoughts that I might have desired for Gallaudet for certain people and to be around with them, and use wanting to major in History as an excuse. Now don't get me wrong, but then again, it could be true. But during Rockfest, I learned that people will always change, no matter what. The people who I used to love and wanted to be with, has changed their ways of life and as better on the road of their success. They have changed; they have chosen their roads, and living their life even without me as well. They told me, "Do not dwell on the memory, but live your life the way you dreamed." Certainly it wasn't easy for me, since I tend to get lost in flashback of my life, but I have been told and learned to live my own, and worry for me.
With all being said, I conclude this letter. I thank you for reading my thoughts and comments and advices will be greatly appreciated.
Sincerely,
Dae-Kun Kim
MaStErDK@MSN.COM