It feels like a song about an abusive relationship between a boy && girl. Some of the lines feel too blatant, you know? It's far more effective, especially in songs, to subtly yet beautifully hint at something, instead of say it outright.
But I like the chorus.. I made my own tune to it ^_^. Very nice.. How about throw in a few rhyming lines, maintain a steady beat.. Writing a song is like writing a poem. Use some literary/poetic devices!
thnx so much sweetie... i really understand your comments, specially the ones about blatancy. thanhks so much... i agree bout the rhyming lines, sometime i'll scan the music so you can see the beat... maybe i'll sing it to ya ^-^. dik... thanks so much though i love the comments... i'll be posting more of my newly found songs, as well as life, soon...
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But I like the chorus.. I made my own tune to it ^_^. Very nice.. How about throw in a few rhyming lines, maintain a steady beat.. Writing a song is like writing a poem. Use some literary/poetic devices!
♥ to song and to you.
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thnx so much sweetie... i really understand your comments, specially the ones about blatancy. thanhks so much... i agree bout the rhyming lines, sometime i'll scan the music so you can see the beat... maybe i'll sing it to ya ^-^. dik... thanks so much though i love the comments... i'll be posting more of my newly found songs, as well as life, soon...
LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
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