Denial
Title: Denial
Pairing: Minjung/Gwiboon
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Femme-slash
Summary: Minjung is a star athlete at school, and Gwiboon is the local fashionista, frequently snearing at the other's lack of feminitity. She doesn't realise how much she actually likes these qualities in the other girl, but once Minjung makes a move, Gwiboon is forced to come to terms with her feelings.
Word Count: 6,732
Notes: The femme-slash genre for my SHINee Genre Challenge, as requested by gooberso1. Although it's taken me a while to write, this is the first fic I've really had feelings for in a while, so I hope it turned out well :) This was originally going to have an NC-17 part, but I cut it. Maybe I'll write it separately sometimes.
Spot For: gooberso1.
"Then he had the nerve to ask me out. I told him I don't date little boys, so he should grow some before trying that one again."
"Kyuhyun's a year older than you, Gwiboon," Junghee pointed out incredulously. "He's a senior," she added in a wistful voice.
"So. He acts so immature sometimes. He plays video games. I don't want to be associated with a guy like that," Gwiboon fired back, swiping a line of her pink nail polish down the nail of her middle finger.
"Someday you're going to have to get over your man phobia," Junghee said with a grin, leaning closer to add in a whisper, "or else people will start calling you a lesbian."
Spluttering in shock at the word, Gwiboon smacked Junghee on the back of the head. "Yah! I'm not afraid of men. I just haven't found one worth my time yet," as the words came out defensively, the sound of the girl's soccer team starting their practice distracted her gaze. She watched as the star player, Minjung got into her place at the front of the line. The play began and off the girl ran with the ball. Scoffing, Gwiboon looked away. She didn't want to deal with arrogant men or women today.
She was just finishing her eighth carefully painted nail when there was a sudden 'woosh' that caught her off guard. She nearly jumped to her feet as the ball crashed into her leg, bouncing off only to tip over her bottle of nail polish before getting caught a couple of bleachers down. Gwiboon was livid before the ball settled.
"Ah, sorry about that, Gwibbie~" Minjung called out as she jogged over to retrieve it, knowing better than to think Gwiboon would toss it back. Junghee might, but Gwiboon would be much more likely to kick it in the opposite direction.
"You..clumsy..aish! You knocked over my polish. I don't know how you play sports if you suck so much that you kick it over here instead of keeping it on the field!" Gwiboon's anger flew out of her mouth like a boulder that had tipped over the edge of a cliff. There was no way to stop her once she got going. You just had to wait for the fall to end, usually with a big boom. Instead of saying something particularly scathing this time, she simply ended with a loud growl of frustration. It was probably better that way, because Minjung had a difficult time keeping herself from getting caught up by cutting remarks, and fighting in front of the coach was a very bad idea.
Instead, Minjung simply smiled in amusement and shrugged her shoulders. "You shouldn't be doing your nails where others play sports. Think about that next time. Gotta run!" she added quickly, before turning and fleeing back to the field. She could easily feel the other girl's eyes drilling holes into her back. Fiery, angry holes.
Later that day, Gwiboon laid on her stomach, surveying her almost perfect nails. She'd been so angry that she left right after that. She still hadn't fixed them, but for some reason she wanted to just stare at them and hold onto her anger just a little bit longer. Minjung's smug face flashed through her mind, making Gwiboon bristle as she laid there. The looks that girl got made Gwiboon almost certain she did things like that on purpose, had for a while.
Not too many years before, they had gotten along really well. Gwiboon would go as far as to say the other girl was her best friend. Then puberty hit. Gwiboon filled out in all the right, girly kinds of ways. Her interests took that route as well. Fashion, make-up, shopping. Minjung laughed at those things, while her forever undeveloped breasts benefited her fine because she was more interested in sports than anything. 'Anything,' the word repeated in Gwiboon's mind. She'd felt laughed at, left alone, abandoned for a team, for a fucking ball. She really didn't get it. Sports were stupid, definitely not something to devote one's life to.
Growling in frustration, Gwiboon stood and headed for the bathroom to remove the nail polish. She'd paint them in a different color. She was too angry for pink now.
As Gwiboon furiously wiped at her nails, Minjung was finishing dinner at her own house. She practically glowered as her mother instructed her to help with the dishes. Her father had been all questions and strict suggestions for her brother and his athletic pursuits. Minjung got a simple, "How was school today? Staying away from boys and to your studies I hope."
Anytime she brought up the sports team herself, he would simply congratulate her on her success and then deflect to something else or ask her brother how he was doing. It was all about her brother, and she understood that it was because he was a boy and she was a girl. Neither of them could help that, but it didn't stop her from getting angry, hurt, by it.
Once she was done helping her mother, not trying to hide her surly expression the entire time, Minjung escaped to her bedroom. Falling onto her back, she stared up at the ceiling. Instead of brooding about her father though, memories of earlier came back to her. Gwiboon's face twisted into an angry expression that would normally look unattractive, but somehow seemed charming on her. Minjung wasn't sure everyone would agree with that though. Groaning, she pressed her pillow over her face, as if that would block out the thoughts of the other girl. But still, her angry eyes, that cat-like smile, those fucking short skirts she loved to waltz around in flowed in like an endless river. Minjung couldn't block them out, never could.
"Morning, grumpy face," Taeyeon cooed, plopping down by Minjung on the stone wall just outside the school's athletic building. The other girl pulled her feet in to sit cross-legged, making Minjung wince.
"You know anyone who walks by will be able to look up your skirt, right?"
Taeyeon blinked at her before looking down. It was difficult to tell whether or not the girl did things like that on purpose. "Ah, that's true," she said slowly, putting her hands down to press her skirt down. As if on cue, one of the older boys walked by them, smiling and waving at the thin, wisp of a girl, making Minjung want to kick him in the nuts.
"Hey, Taeyeon, got any plans for lunch?"
"No, you buying?" she played, eyes looking innocent enough to fool someone who didn't know her.
"Sure," he called back before disappearing into the building.
"Who was that?" Minjung asked, because she didn't bother to keep up with boys in other grades unless they played sports.
Taeyeon shrugged in nonchalance, a small smile tugging at her lips. "Just a boy. It doesn't matter."
Grimacing, Minjung could only feel relieved she'd already pointed out the shorter girl's skirt before he could get a look. Taeyeon was like a little sister to her. She didn't want some greasy guy getting something he didn't deserve.
"What about you? How are things with the princess?"
'The princess' was Taeyeon's way of picking at Gwiboon. Even the mention of her made Minjung shift feet uncomfortably. "I don't know what that's supposed to mean," she grumbled, making Taeyeon giggle. The younger girl knew about Minjung's feelings. They both knew, and they both knew it was hopeless. Well, Taeyeon insisted that no one would know without asking, but Minjung forbade it. Gwiboon was most definitely, hands down, not interested in someone like Minjung. Mostly because she wasn't a guy, but also because Gwiboon hated athletes. She wouldn't let those guys near her, and plenty of them had tried before. Minjung waited for the day the other girl found herself a cool, artistic boyfriend. Or maybe a model. The thought made her want to get sick, or punch a wall, but she held it all in. She had no rights over the other, never had and never would.
Jumping down from the wall, Minjung headed for the school's entrance. She needed a distraction now that those thoughts were in her head. Taeyeon stayed behind to finish her milk box, waving with a simple, "See you later!"
Hours later, Gwiboon glowered at her phone. She was vice-president of the fashion club, but honestly she sometimes felt like she should be the president. They were always coming to her with problems and questions. Frankly, she wasn't really in the mood today, so her response was very short. She wasn't surprised when they didn't text back. Across the room Kyuhyun sent her a big smile, making her tense before looking away. This was quite possibly the worst class of the day. There wasn't really anyone good to talk to, some of the most annoying boys in the school currently were in it and then there was her.
As if on cue, Gwiboon looked up to see Minjung walk by, heading for her spot in the back. She sat with the small group of fellow athletes. Gwiboon mentally cursed herself for choosing this history class.
When the teacher walked in, the talking died down. He had a big smile on his face, making Gwiboon pretty sure the class that day was going to be annoying. "We're going to talk about our end of the semester projects today."
Gwiboon could feel herself sink slightly in her chair. She had been dreading it ever since getting into the class and realizing there wasn't anyone in there she really liked. The project involved pairing up and creating a research paper and presentation on whatever subject the group was assigned. Gwiboon had half a mind to ask if she could do it on her own, despite the fact that it would mean extra work for her.
"Since letting you pair yourself up would result in mass chaos ending with several people standing awkwardly by themselves until I step in anyway ... I've paired you all up already."
If the previous groan had been noticeable, it didn't compare to the one that rose up in the class after that.
"Now now. Don't make the other teachers think I'm torturing you," the teacher added with an amused smile before stepping behind his desk to grab a piece of paper. Gwiboon felt her heart sink further, but for the sake of appearance she sat up straighter in her seat and lifted her chin almost haughtily. The teacher better not have put her with someone distasteful.
He started reading off the names, and Gwiboon listened carefully to each one. When he read of Kyuhyun's name, she felt herself tense in dread, but then it was followed by Yesung's. She glanced over at him to see his response was minimal as he stared out the window. Yesung was really attractive, if slightly odd. Kyuhyun made an "Ehhhh," sound and scratched his head. Gwiboon was just glad she wouldn't be stuck with someone who wanted to date her.
She was distracted enough that hearing her own name made her jump a little. Head snapping to the teacher, she realized she missed the first name he'd said. In a panic, she looked around the room. A few people were staring at her, a couple of them snickering. The one that made her stomach drop to the floor was Minjung. The look on the other girl's face was as if someone had just read her death sentence. 'Well that's just great!' she thought, whipping back around and glaring at the front. She'd have to talk to the teacher about it after class.
Unfortunately, he would hear none of it. He said working with people you didn't get along with was a part of life. He said he had to do it every day and then proceeded to laugh like he'd said something very amusing. Gwiboon bristled with indignance at being disregarded. He waved her off saying it would build character, and then went to lunch. She was still fuming as she shoved a bite of rice into her mouth.
When Junghee found out, she couldn't stop grinning and rubbing it in Gwiboon's face. "Look on the bright side...oh wait, I can't think of one," she said with a chuckle before taking a bite of her chicken.
"Oh, leave her be," Eunsook said, reaching out to pat Gwiboon's arm. "You'll survive. It's just one school project. It's not like you have to actually hang out with each other."
Eunsook was actually a bit of a mutual friend. She'd known them both a long time, and somehow managed to remain friends with both of them even through their falling out. It had taken Gwiboon a little while to stop feeling like it was betrayal to not choose her side, but she got over that a long time ago. Although she still didn't understand why the other girl wanted to hang out with someone so brutish, with such a lack of femininity.
"Yeah, I guess so. Ugh, I hope she's as miserable as I am..."
"Perfect!" Taeyeon shouted, making Minjung shoot her a warning glare. She quickly sat back down and lowered her voice. "What? This is the perfect opportunity to get close to her again. You know ... to see if there's really anything there."
"There's nothing there," Minjung almost snapped.
Taeyeon pouted and sucked on her straw, the tiny bit of banana milk left in the carton making a really annoying slurping sound. "How do you know? She might secretly want you. Never know until you try~"
Minjung was getting really tired of hearing that from her friend. It was impossible. Even if by some odd stroke of chance, Gwiboon liked girls, Minjung would be the furthest from her type.
Even though the professor paired them up, it took him until the following week to give them their subjects, and then another couple of weeks went by before he gave them time to work on it in class. Gwiboon and Minjung hadn't spoken once about it. Staring at the girl across from her, the shorter girl sighed. "So, we're doing our presentation over the effects of U.S. occupancy and national relations. Any ideas how you want to do it?"
Minjung grunted and rubbed her hand against her temple. Just like Gwiboon to throw the decisions onto her. "How about in another class?"
Gwiboon bristled indignantly and huffed. "Well, fine. If you want to get an F and get kicked off the soccer team, be my guest."
"No!" Minjung shot back, maybe a little too loudly. She winced and leaned closer. "No, I don't want to fail just as much as you, so why don't we agree to work together until this is over."
Staring at her haughtily, Gwiboon thought the option over in her head. It would be difficult no doubt, but really it was the only option short of failing, which she would not let happen. Nodding slowly, she uncrossed her arms and gave in. "Okay, let's just get this over with then."
Working together proved to be a lot harder than it seemed. Minjung had practice most days that Gwiboon had free, and Gwiboon had club meetings when Minjung was off. Then there was cram school and Gwiboon couldn't give up her social life. They both had family obligations, and before they knew it, a couple of weeks had gone by and all they really had were notes on the topic and no real plan for their presentation.
Gwiboon, quite frankly, had endured enough. "Can I speak to you?" she demanded of the taller girl one day before soccer practice. The other girls on the team were already filtering out to the field. Minjung winced and waved the last one, who stopped and gave her a questioning look, off.
"What is it?"
"You can't keep skipping our meetings for ... sports."
"I can't..." Minjung rounded on her, eyes wide in disbelief. "Who's the one who said she couldn't work on the project because she had to go out to the sale at ... some clothing store?"
Gwiboon faltered for a moment before shooting back. "It was a once in a lifetime opportunity...besides, you practice so many days a week. It's not fair. How many teams are you even on?"
"Well, just one at school," Minjung said, looking thoughtful, "but there's the community girl's team, and I can't just ditch them."
"So, what do we do then?"
"Weekends?" Gwiboon looked horrified enough that Minjung quickly added, "Or not."
Leaning against one of the lockers, Gwiboon sighed, before shooting back up and looking at her clothes as if she might have just leaned against a wall of dirt instead. "Can't you just ... miss one practice?"
"God!" Minjung almost growled. "You're such a little princess. Do you ever make any sacrifices yourself? No, because you're spoiled rotten," with those words, Minjung turned on her heal and strode towards the exit.
"Princess..." Gwiboon almost scoffed, incredulous at being called that. "W-well...! You're just a...! You're barely even a girl ... more like a man with boobs, tiny, itty bitty boobs!"
Stopping dead in her steps, Minjung's back straightened, her whole body tense. She flipped around and strode back almost too fast for Gwiboon to process it before her hand was flying up. The shorter girl flinched, certain she was about to get slapped, but then Minjung's palm landed hard on the locker beside her head, rattling the door and sending a bone chilling shiver done her spine.
Looking up, Gwiboon was about to give Minjung a piece of her mind for acting so violently, but then the other girl's body was pressed tight against hers. She leaned down and pressed her lips hard against Gwiboon's. It was firm, but it wasn't rough. Her lips actually felt really soft, her chest pressing against Gwiboon's enough that she could feel her through her sports bra. Her body flushed with heat, a noise of surprised escaping her slightly parted lips.
Pulling back, Minjung glared daggers at her, but her voice was a little breathless as she whispered in a low voice, "Did that feel like a man?"
Without saying another word, the taller girl walked off, the door to the field slamming shut behind her. Gwiboon's knees felt weak, her hand shook as she clutched at her purse strap and ran towards the opposite door.
Minjung was freaking out. Luckily the kiss seemed to have scared Gwiboon away from the spot she sometimes hung out around on the bleachers, or maybe it was the nail polish incident. Who was she kidding? Gwiboon would probably never even look at her again, not with anything but disgust, a step down from her general disdain. A ball smacking her in the side of the head while she just stood there blinking was the final straw before the coach made her sit out. Which was worse, because then she had absolutely nothing to distract her from replaying the event over and over in her mind. It was kind of nice in a way, something she never thought would have happened. Maybe, in some messed up way, it was worth it.
Still reeling from the kiss, Gwiboon went straight to her room when she got home, shutting and locking the door. She didn't want to talk to anyone, which was why when Junghee called, she clicked ignore right away and threw her phone to the side. Grabbing her pillow, she pressed it against her face and let out a frustrated groan. She tried to wipe it from her mind, to erase the thoughts and the feelings, but her lips still tingled where Minjung's had touched them. She felt her stomach flip every time she thought of it again, which just made things worse.
So frustrated she was on the verge of tears, Gwiboon tossed her pillow off and then immediately regretted it. Laying there, with nothing to hold onto or nothing to help and try to smother the memories out, she could do nothing but think about it. Over and over. Everything replayed in her mind, like a torturous mantra. No. She would not accept this. It was not okay. She would go to the teacher tomorrow and tell him she didn't feel safe working with the other girl. Right. She would do that.
Only, that would get Minjung in a lot of trouble. Outing her ... if she really did like girls, could be social suicide. Maybe she'd even get kicked off the sports team. Gwiboon wrinkled her nose, thinking if anything it would feel like a blessing to her to not have to play. But she knew it wasn't like that for Minjung. Soccer was what she cared most about. Almost snarling, Gwiboon kicked her feet and sat up. She needed to get her mind off things. Grabbing her phone that had slipped off the edge of the bed, she called Junghee and demanded that the other girl accompany her shopping. Good thing it was the weekend. She'd have plenty of time to try and forget.
Unfortunately for Gwiboon, Monday did come and she knew she'd have to face Minjung in one way or another. Although she was kind of taken by surprise when she had only been at school for maybe ten minutes when Minjung was suddenly by her side leaning close to say quietly, "I need to talk to you."
Gwiboon felt the hair on her body rise at Minjung's closeness, an almost queasy feeling in her stomach as she tried to take a step away, "I don't..."
"No," Minjung cut her off, grabbing onto her arm and pulling her down the hallway. "I need to talk to you."
They ended up in the girl's restroom. Minjung barged in and started to make sure they were alone, checking every stall and almost scaring a freshman half to death as she stared her down until she fled from the bathroom, forgetting to even wash her hands. Gwiboon couldn't help but wrinkle her nose at the thought. "You really shouldn't be so abusive to your underclassmen. That poor girl will probably be haunted by..." she trailed off as Minjung rounded on her, the look in her eyes full of uncertainty and maybe even fear. She felt her gut twist for real then, almost feeling guilty, almost like she had been the one who did something.
"Look," she started, staring daggers at the floor before turning her eyes up to meet Gwiboon's gaze. "That day, I..."
A sudden fear surged up in Gwiboon, and before she knew what she was doing, she had shouted, "Stop!" eyes widening at the sound of her own voice, she saw surprise mirrored on Minjung's face. "I don't want to talk about it."
"But...I just want to apol..."
"No! I said I don't want to talk about it," tearing her gaze away, Gwiboon quickly headed for the door, adding over her shoulder before leaving, "It never happened."
Gwiboon felt like she was in a state of nervous tension the rest of the day. Junghee kept asking her why she was so jumpy and Eunsook kept giving her worried glances. Gwiboon just snapped at them and eventually said she had a lot of pressure on her right now, letting them assume it was from school or something. The way Junghee scoffed made her even more irritable. What did she know? No, she didn't know anything really. She didn't know that Minjung had kissed her. She didn't know that no matter what she did, Gwiboon couldn't stop thinking about it.
Unfortunately for Gwiboon, the next day in history class they got reminders that the following Monday they would need to have an outline of their presentation turned in. She felt a horrible sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach because she couldn't just ignore Minjung forever. No, she wouldn't even get a week of respite.
By the end of class she'd built up about all the resolve she had in her and marched over to Minjung's desk. "This weekend at my place," she wanted to be on her own turf. "I'm not going to fail because of you, and I'm giving up my free time, so you better be there."
That Saturday they both felt incredibly nervous. Gwiboon kept pacing her room, making sure nothing was out of place. Minjung checked her appearance in the mirror several times before leaving, each one followed by a guttural sigh because whatever was there wasn't what Gwiboon wanted.
Gwiboon was starting to have second thoughts about the whole thing. Minjung in her house. Minjung in her room. No, it didn't sound like a good situation at all. The nervous tension was still really high when Minjung arrived. Gwiboon took them straight to her room where she had all her notes out, ready to get to work. She thought it would be better that way, if they got it over with as quick as possible. Jumping straight into work definitely wasn't her usual style though. She'd usually spend a good hour socializing first, but this was Minjung. The only thing they had in common anymore was that they were both on edge because of the kiss.
Stepping gingerly into the room, as if she might break something, Minjung set her bag down on the extra chair that had been pulled into the room earlier. "Guess you have your part of the work done, huh?"
GWiboon nodded curtly and went to sit down at her desk, opening her laptop. "Okay, we can start putting them together and decided what order we're going to talk about things."
Walking closer, Minjung opened her bag and set her own notes out before dropping the bag to the floor and sitting down herself. Gwiboon hadn't realised how close the chairs would put them and she found herself start slightly. "What are you doing?" she demanded before realising how ridiculous she'd sound.
Minjung blinked at her in confusion. "Umm, sitting down to help?"
"Yeah, well...let's just keep it that way."
Minjung could only stare at her for a long moment before rolling her eyes. "Whatever you say, princess."
Despite the way she bristled with indignation, Gwiboon kept her mouth shut and reached for her notes to begin. Minjung felt an odd pang of sadness, that they might never be the same again, but really, it should have been a good thing. Fading to strangers should be better than enemies, but as masochistic as it sounded, Minjung knew she would miss the fights because that was all she had left.
Focusing on work was difficult, but Gwiboon worked hard to keep them on track, often stumbling over her words. She'd yelled at Minjung a couple of times for leaning too close, and the taller girl was really starting to get a headache from dealing with it. Just what was he problem? Did she really think Minjung would try to jump her against her will? Gwiboon was getting uncomfortable herself, shifting on her chair several times before sighing and moving to sit on her bed. "I can't stand sitting there anymore," she explained.
Wavering, Minjung wasn't sure if she should stay at the desk or follow. She stayed where she was for a few minutes, but she was uncomfortable herself, and it was really difficult to communicate with someone several feet away. As she moved closer to the bed, she noticed Gwiboon tense. With a sigh she stopped and started to move back to the desk.
"Oh, just come over here," Gwiboon said with an exasperated tone. Minjung huffed lightly, but moved to sit on the bed, a safe distance away from the other girl. As the second hour they worked ticked on, Gwiboon brought them a couple of drinks and some snacks. Thing slowly started to get less tense between them as they got more into the presentation.
Gwiboon didn't really care much for history, but she'd been able to convince the teacher to change their topic to something more related to artistic evolution than something boring like war. Plus, she liked putting on a show. She had a lot of ideas, ideas that Minjung had to consent were good. Being captain of the soccer team, Minjung was good at speaking to a group and conveying her ideas. They were certain they had this in the bag. Before they knew it, they had the outline pretty much done.
They were both feeling the affects of having worked so long. Minjung stretched her arms over her head as Gwiboon grabbed onto one of the cookies she'd brought in earlier. Her stomach was impatiently waiting for dinner, which she was somewhat considering offering to Minjung.
A sudden laugh brought her out of her thoughts. She glanced over at the taller girl to see her looking at her, eyes dancing with amusement. "Don't you know how to eat?" she teased, reaching over to brush the little bit of chocolate from her skin, too close to her lips.
Gwiboon felt her stomach do that weird flip and her lips parted slightly. Without realising she was doing it, she'd leaned in closer to the other girl. Minjung's eyes widened a little and Gwiboon's chest seized up with fear, but as quickly and she could lean away Minjung was pulling her face closer.
Minjung stopped just short of kissing her again, and Gwiboon felt herself leaning in the rest of the way. Their lips bumped awkwardly, but Minjung took over with ease, tilting her head as her fingers sank into Gwiboon's hair. Minjung's lips were soft, like they'd felt before, but now she had much more of a chance to really feel them against her own. They felt good, too good. Her mind was screaming that it wasn't right, but her body was demanding more.
Before she could do anything though, Minjung broke the kiss to look at her. Her eyes were questioning, asking for an answer Gwiboon didn't have, wasn't ready to face. She dropped her gaze to her lap and they sat in silence for a minute before Minjung pulled away and stood up. As if she could read the other girl's thoughts, she said, "I think I should get home before dinner. My dad will worry..."
Looking up, Gwiboon watched her pack her stuff into her bag. "Y-yeah ... we have everything we need done anyway."
"Yeah, the outline should be good, if you could just print it off before class?"
Gwiboon nodded and watched as Minjung sort of shuffled for the door.
"Thanks. See you at school then," she added before quickly ducking out. Gwiboon took a deep breath and fell back against her bed.
"Shit..."
Pressing her forehead into her knuckles, Minjung had to hold back a deep sigh. Her thoughts and feeling had been reeling since the night before. It wasn't one sided. Her stomach flipped and a blinding giddiness swooped through her body, something quickly stifled by remembering this was reality and the look on Gwiboon's face hadn't been all that thrilled. A crushing fear made Minjung think it wasn't going to work. Gwiboon wouldn't want to be a lesbian for her, to give up that much. It was all she could do not to obsessively brood over it the whole day.
She knew seeing Gwiboon in class wouldn't help either. Or not seeing really, because for some odd reason she wasn't in there. The outline had been turned in though, the teacher let her know before class. Gwiboon hadn't hunted her out either, outside of class. Mingjung felt the rock-like feeling in her stomach grow into a boulder. That had to mean something.
She closed her gym locker hard and took a deep breath. Acting like this wasn't going to get her anywhere. She needed to confront Gwiboon, make her talk, and if nothing else then move on.
"Minjung?" came a hesitant voice from behind her.
Jumping a little, the tall girl whipped around and found herself facing one of her upperclassmen. It was a girl on the team with her, a senior she admired for her skill with the ball.
"Is everything okay?"
She felt a blush creep into her cheeks, ashamed of slamming the door for no apparent reason, for not being able to explain herself. "Ah, no, everything's okay. Just a little tense from stress. Finals and the big game..." she trailed off, suddenly thinking that was what she should be stressed over. It wasn't though.
"I understand. It's a tough year, that's for sure," she sympathized with a smile. Her countenance suddenly changed and she started to fidget with the towel in her hands. "Minjung-ah...?"
The taller girl nodded, a little confused by the girl's behavior. She definitely had something on her mind, but Minjung couldn't think what it could have to do with her.
Gwiboon almost felt like she was at a wave pool, as her nerves kept crashing down on her. She felt drenched in them. She'd barely gotten any sleep the previous night. For a couple different reasons that all centered around one person. She'd wanted to kiss Minjung. No, she had wanted a lot more than just a kiss, and she still did. It was a lot to take in, a lot to digest.
Oddly enough, Gwiboon didn't think it was all that bad to swing for girls. Her uncle was gay, and one of the girls in school she knew was like that was really cool. They'd gone shopping together once, by accident when they met in one of Gwiboon's favorite stores. She was a godsend to have around because she had great taste and good suggestions.
The thing that irked her the most was that she swore she would never fall for an athlete. Then again, why did she have such a problem with them in the first place? Minjung. Damn the girl, but it all went back to her. Another wave of nerves making her feel nauseous and Gwiboon was on her way to the nurse's office right before her class she usually had with Minjung. She just couldn't face her yet.
Gwiboon was good at faking a cold, or maybe it was just that the nurse would rather let her sit out of class than have to deal with a fussy teen. Either way, Gwiboon got what she wanted. She always got what she wanted. Well, she hoped so anyway. The time she spent in the infirmary, Gwiboon was trying to steel herself to confront the other girl. She went over and over what she could say, or what she would do. Her plans went from grandiose decisions to drag her off to somewhere private and make out until she was breathless. She stopped her mind from going any farther than that. There were pretty simple thoughts of just going up to her and saying straight out that she liked her. That gave her a moment to pause. Liked her. That was a mouthful. She wasn't sure how she was going to do it.
How many different scenarios she went over in her mind might have been why, when she was finally making her way to the gym lockers, the place she knew Minjung would be after classes got out, she had no idea what she was going to say or do.
It didn't matter though, because as she quietly snuck through the door to the lockers and rounded the corner what she saw wiped her mind clear of any plans she might have had. Brown hair pulled back in a long ponytail, standing on her tiptoes, was another one of those annoying jock girls. Her hand pressed against the taller girl's arm as her lips brushed across Minjung's. Gwiboon felt her chest seize up and she was having trouble breathing. Her hand traveled halfway to the collar of her shirt, as if to pull off something that was suffocating her.
She saw Minjung gently push the girl away, saw the confused look on her face, but it didn't really matter. She took a step back, her shoes seeming much heavier as they clanged against the floor. Both girls' heads snapped in her direction, surprise etched onto their faces. This was quickly followed by a tight look of fear on Minjung's. Gwiboon could only imagine what her own face looked like.
"It's not…" the other girl started, clearly trying to explain the situation away, but Gwiboon could care less than to hear it. Turning on her heel, she literally fled from the room. She could hear her name being called out, voice distinctly belonging to Minjung, but that didn't stop her.
Gwiboon ran. Ran until she was bursting through the school doors, headed straight for the parking lot. She was almost at her car when she was suddenly jerked to a stop, something tight clamping around her wrist. She gasped in surprise, her mind so set on getting away that she had blocked out everything else.
"Gwiboon, will you just listen to me? I didn't kiss her. It was a mistake."
"I know!" she nearly screeched, trying to jerk her hand away, managing it after a second, Minjung looking a little lost now.
"Then why…" she started again.
"Because I didn't want you to see me like this," she felt her eyes water and she wanted to smack herself for looking so stupid, especially in front of Minjung.
"Gwiboon…" the taller girl breathed out her name, reaching up to run her thumb gently under Gwiboon's eye to catch the tears. "I like you. I only like you."
Sniffling a little, Gwiboon tried to huff, choking on the sound instead. "I look awful when I cry."
"You look beautiful."
She could have sworn she went bright red, even though she couldn't see her own face. "And you!" she harmlessly smacked at the other girl's arm. "You've ruined my perfect plan. It's all your fault."
"What? My fault? Wait," a small smile curled onto her lips. "What plan?"
Gwiboon looked up at her, lips poking out as she frowned. "Nothing. I just…I was going to confess, but then you had to go and kiss someone else and then you did it first."
"I didn't kiss her back," she defended herself, hands dropping to hold onto Gwiboon's arms, wanting to pull her closer and afraid of her running off again. "And … you really get worked up about the silliest things. You should be relieved that I … you … " stopping, she replayed the other girl's words in her head, blinking a few times. "You're saying you like me?"
The shorter girl couldn't help but laugh, her hands tangling in Minjung's shirt at her stomach, feeling emboldened somehow. "You're stupid, you know that?"
"Hey…" Minjung started, but she was quickly cut off as Gwiboon pressed her lips tightly against hers. Breathing in through her nose in surprise, Minjung let her arms slip around the other girl, leaning into the kiss.
Somewhat idly, but with a sense guided by curiosity, Gwiboon trailed her fingers slowly along the skin of Minjung's stomach. It was smooth and soft. It wasn't too different from how she would have imagined it, but somehow it still felt surprising, maybe just to even be there.
"That kind of tickles, you know," Minjung huffed, her eyes slipped shut as if she was either deeply relaxed or falling asleep. They were at Minjung's house, a place Gwiboon hadn't been in years. She kind of wondered if Minjung's parents had been glad when they stopped being friends. She always thought they saw her as trouble, even when she was eight years old and trying to give everyone she knew make-overs.
Smiling to herself, Gwiboon lightly pinched the other girl's side.
"Yah! That doesn't mean I want you to hurt me."
"Well, it didn't tickle anymore, did it?" she shot back smugly, crawling a little more onto the other girl's chest, leaning over her. Somehow, despite how new and mind shaking it was, it felt really right, really easy. Leaning up, Gwiboon pressed her lips against Minjung's demandingly, feeling like she was releasing the tension that had been building up for years, like she'd been waiting forever for this moment. When Minjung's arms slid around her waist and pulled her closer, Gwiboon was completely sure that she had exactly what she wanted.
Pairing: Minjung/Gwiboon
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Femme-slash
Summary: Minjung is a star athlete at school, and Gwiboon is the local fashionista, frequently snearing at the other's lack of feminitity. She doesn't realise how much she actually likes these qualities in the other girl, but once Minjung makes a move, Gwiboon is forced to come to terms with her feelings.
Word Count: 6,732
Notes: The femme-slash genre for my SHINee Genre Challenge, as requested by gooberso1. Although it's taken me a while to write, this is the first fic I've really had feelings for in a while, so I hope it turned out well :) This was originally going to have an NC-17 part, but I cut it. Maybe I'll write it separately sometimes.
Spot For: gooberso1.
"Then he had the nerve to ask me out. I told him I don't date little boys, so he should grow some before trying that one again."
"Kyuhyun's a year older than you, Gwiboon," Junghee pointed out incredulously. "He's a senior," she added in a wistful voice.
"So. He acts so immature sometimes. He plays video games. I don't want to be associated with a guy like that," Gwiboon fired back, swiping a line of her pink nail polish down the nail of her middle finger.
"Someday you're going to have to get over your man phobia," Junghee said with a grin, leaning closer to add in a whisper, "or else people will start calling you a lesbian."
Spluttering in shock at the word, Gwiboon smacked Junghee on the back of the head. "Yah! I'm not afraid of men. I just haven't found one worth my time yet," as the words came out defensively, the sound of the girl's soccer team starting their practice distracted her gaze. She watched as the star player, Minjung got into her place at the front of the line. The play began and off the girl ran with the ball. Scoffing, Gwiboon looked away. She didn't want to deal with arrogant men or women today.
She was just finishing her eighth carefully painted nail when there was a sudden 'woosh' that caught her off guard. She nearly jumped to her feet as the ball crashed into her leg, bouncing off only to tip over her bottle of nail polish before getting caught a couple of bleachers down. Gwiboon was livid before the ball settled.
"Ah, sorry about that, Gwibbie~" Minjung called out as she jogged over to retrieve it, knowing better than to think Gwiboon would toss it back. Junghee might, but Gwiboon would be much more likely to kick it in the opposite direction.
"You..clumsy..aish! You knocked over my polish. I don't know how you play sports if you suck so much that you kick it over here instead of keeping it on the field!" Gwiboon's anger flew out of her mouth like a boulder that had tipped over the edge of a cliff. There was no way to stop her once she got going. You just had to wait for the fall to end, usually with a big boom. Instead of saying something particularly scathing this time, she simply ended with a loud growl of frustration. It was probably better that way, because Minjung had a difficult time keeping herself from getting caught up by cutting remarks, and fighting in front of the coach was a very bad idea.
Instead, Minjung simply smiled in amusement and shrugged her shoulders. "You shouldn't be doing your nails where others play sports. Think about that next time. Gotta run!" she added quickly, before turning and fleeing back to the field. She could easily feel the other girl's eyes drilling holes into her back. Fiery, angry holes.
Later that day, Gwiboon laid on her stomach, surveying her almost perfect nails. She'd been so angry that she left right after that. She still hadn't fixed them, but for some reason she wanted to just stare at them and hold onto her anger just a little bit longer. Minjung's smug face flashed through her mind, making Gwiboon bristle as she laid there. The looks that girl got made Gwiboon almost certain she did things like that on purpose, had for a while.
Not too many years before, they had gotten along really well. Gwiboon would go as far as to say the other girl was her best friend. Then puberty hit. Gwiboon filled out in all the right, girly kinds of ways. Her interests took that route as well. Fashion, make-up, shopping. Minjung laughed at those things, while her forever undeveloped breasts benefited her fine because she was more interested in sports than anything. 'Anything,' the word repeated in Gwiboon's mind. She'd felt laughed at, left alone, abandoned for a team, for a fucking ball. She really didn't get it. Sports were stupid, definitely not something to devote one's life to.
Growling in frustration, Gwiboon stood and headed for the bathroom to remove the nail polish. She'd paint them in a different color. She was too angry for pink now.
As Gwiboon furiously wiped at her nails, Minjung was finishing dinner at her own house. She practically glowered as her mother instructed her to help with the dishes. Her father had been all questions and strict suggestions for her brother and his athletic pursuits. Minjung got a simple, "How was school today? Staying away from boys and to your studies I hope."
Anytime she brought up the sports team herself, he would simply congratulate her on her success and then deflect to something else or ask her brother how he was doing. It was all about her brother, and she understood that it was because he was a boy and she was a girl. Neither of them could help that, but it didn't stop her from getting angry, hurt, by it.
Once she was done helping her mother, not trying to hide her surly expression the entire time, Minjung escaped to her bedroom. Falling onto her back, she stared up at the ceiling. Instead of brooding about her father though, memories of earlier came back to her. Gwiboon's face twisted into an angry expression that would normally look unattractive, but somehow seemed charming on her. Minjung wasn't sure everyone would agree with that though. Groaning, she pressed her pillow over her face, as if that would block out the thoughts of the other girl. But still, her angry eyes, that cat-like smile, those fucking short skirts she loved to waltz around in flowed in like an endless river. Minjung couldn't block them out, never could.
"Morning, grumpy face," Taeyeon cooed, plopping down by Minjung on the stone wall just outside the school's athletic building. The other girl pulled her feet in to sit cross-legged, making Minjung wince.
"You know anyone who walks by will be able to look up your skirt, right?"
Taeyeon blinked at her before looking down. It was difficult to tell whether or not the girl did things like that on purpose. "Ah, that's true," she said slowly, putting her hands down to press her skirt down. As if on cue, one of the older boys walked by them, smiling and waving at the thin, wisp of a girl, making Minjung want to kick him in the nuts.
"Hey, Taeyeon, got any plans for lunch?"
"No, you buying?" she played, eyes looking innocent enough to fool someone who didn't know her.
"Sure," he called back before disappearing into the building.
"Who was that?" Minjung asked, because she didn't bother to keep up with boys in other grades unless they played sports.
Taeyeon shrugged in nonchalance, a small smile tugging at her lips. "Just a boy. It doesn't matter."
Grimacing, Minjung could only feel relieved she'd already pointed out the shorter girl's skirt before he could get a look. Taeyeon was like a little sister to her. She didn't want some greasy guy getting something he didn't deserve.
"What about you? How are things with the princess?"
'The princess' was Taeyeon's way of picking at Gwiboon. Even the mention of her made Minjung shift feet uncomfortably. "I don't know what that's supposed to mean," she grumbled, making Taeyeon giggle. The younger girl knew about Minjung's feelings. They both knew, and they both knew it was hopeless. Well, Taeyeon insisted that no one would know without asking, but Minjung forbade it. Gwiboon was most definitely, hands down, not interested in someone like Minjung. Mostly because she wasn't a guy, but also because Gwiboon hated athletes. She wouldn't let those guys near her, and plenty of them had tried before. Minjung waited for the day the other girl found herself a cool, artistic boyfriend. Or maybe a model. The thought made her want to get sick, or punch a wall, but she held it all in. She had no rights over the other, never had and never would.
Jumping down from the wall, Minjung headed for the school's entrance. She needed a distraction now that those thoughts were in her head. Taeyeon stayed behind to finish her milk box, waving with a simple, "See you later!"
Hours later, Gwiboon glowered at her phone. She was vice-president of the fashion club, but honestly she sometimes felt like she should be the president. They were always coming to her with problems and questions. Frankly, she wasn't really in the mood today, so her response was very short. She wasn't surprised when they didn't text back. Across the room Kyuhyun sent her a big smile, making her tense before looking away. This was quite possibly the worst class of the day. There wasn't really anyone good to talk to, some of the most annoying boys in the school currently were in it and then there was her.
As if on cue, Gwiboon looked up to see Minjung walk by, heading for her spot in the back. She sat with the small group of fellow athletes. Gwiboon mentally cursed herself for choosing this history class.
When the teacher walked in, the talking died down. He had a big smile on his face, making Gwiboon pretty sure the class that day was going to be annoying. "We're going to talk about our end of the semester projects today."
Gwiboon could feel herself sink slightly in her chair. She had been dreading it ever since getting into the class and realizing there wasn't anyone in there she really liked. The project involved pairing up and creating a research paper and presentation on whatever subject the group was assigned. Gwiboon had half a mind to ask if she could do it on her own, despite the fact that it would mean extra work for her.
"Since letting you pair yourself up would result in mass chaos ending with several people standing awkwardly by themselves until I step in anyway ... I've paired you all up already."
If the previous groan had been noticeable, it didn't compare to the one that rose up in the class after that.
"Now now. Don't make the other teachers think I'm torturing you," the teacher added with an amused smile before stepping behind his desk to grab a piece of paper. Gwiboon felt her heart sink further, but for the sake of appearance she sat up straighter in her seat and lifted her chin almost haughtily. The teacher better not have put her with someone distasteful.
He started reading off the names, and Gwiboon listened carefully to each one. When he read of Kyuhyun's name, she felt herself tense in dread, but then it was followed by Yesung's. She glanced over at him to see his response was minimal as he stared out the window. Yesung was really attractive, if slightly odd. Kyuhyun made an "Ehhhh," sound and scratched his head. Gwiboon was just glad she wouldn't be stuck with someone who wanted to date her.
She was distracted enough that hearing her own name made her jump a little. Head snapping to the teacher, she realized she missed the first name he'd said. In a panic, she looked around the room. A few people were staring at her, a couple of them snickering. The one that made her stomach drop to the floor was Minjung. The look on the other girl's face was as if someone had just read her death sentence. 'Well that's just great!' she thought, whipping back around and glaring at the front. She'd have to talk to the teacher about it after class.
Unfortunately, he would hear none of it. He said working with people you didn't get along with was a part of life. He said he had to do it every day and then proceeded to laugh like he'd said something very amusing. Gwiboon bristled with indignance at being disregarded. He waved her off saying it would build character, and then went to lunch. She was still fuming as she shoved a bite of rice into her mouth.
When Junghee found out, she couldn't stop grinning and rubbing it in Gwiboon's face. "Look on the bright side...oh wait, I can't think of one," she said with a chuckle before taking a bite of her chicken.
"Oh, leave her be," Eunsook said, reaching out to pat Gwiboon's arm. "You'll survive. It's just one school project. It's not like you have to actually hang out with each other."
Eunsook was actually a bit of a mutual friend. She'd known them both a long time, and somehow managed to remain friends with both of them even through their falling out. It had taken Gwiboon a little while to stop feeling like it was betrayal to not choose her side, but she got over that a long time ago. Although she still didn't understand why the other girl wanted to hang out with someone so brutish, with such a lack of femininity.
"Yeah, I guess so. Ugh, I hope she's as miserable as I am..."
"Perfect!" Taeyeon shouted, making Minjung shoot her a warning glare. She quickly sat back down and lowered her voice. "What? This is the perfect opportunity to get close to her again. You know ... to see if there's really anything there."
"There's nothing there," Minjung almost snapped.
Taeyeon pouted and sucked on her straw, the tiny bit of banana milk left in the carton making a really annoying slurping sound. "How do you know? She might secretly want you. Never know until you try~"
Minjung was getting really tired of hearing that from her friend. It was impossible. Even if by some odd stroke of chance, Gwiboon liked girls, Minjung would be the furthest from her type.
Even though the professor paired them up, it took him until the following week to give them their subjects, and then another couple of weeks went by before he gave them time to work on it in class. Gwiboon and Minjung hadn't spoken once about it. Staring at the girl across from her, the shorter girl sighed. "So, we're doing our presentation over the effects of U.S. occupancy and national relations. Any ideas how you want to do it?"
Minjung grunted and rubbed her hand against her temple. Just like Gwiboon to throw the decisions onto her. "How about in another class?"
Gwiboon bristled indignantly and huffed. "Well, fine. If you want to get an F and get kicked off the soccer team, be my guest."
"No!" Minjung shot back, maybe a little too loudly. She winced and leaned closer. "No, I don't want to fail just as much as you, so why don't we agree to work together until this is over."
Staring at her haughtily, Gwiboon thought the option over in her head. It would be difficult no doubt, but really it was the only option short of failing, which she would not let happen. Nodding slowly, she uncrossed her arms and gave in. "Okay, let's just get this over with then."
Working together proved to be a lot harder than it seemed. Minjung had practice most days that Gwiboon had free, and Gwiboon had club meetings when Minjung was off. Then there was cram school and Gwiboon couldn't give up her social life. They both had family obligations, and before they knew it, a couple of weeks had gone by and all they really had were notes on the topic and no real plan for their presentation.
Gwiboon, quite frankly, had endured enough. "Can I speak to you?" she demanded of the taller girl one day before soccer practice. The other girls on the team were already filtering out to the field. Minjung winced and waved the last one, who stopped and gave her a questioning look, off.
"What is it?"
"You can't keep skipping our meetings for ... sports."
"I can't..." Minjung rounded on her, eyes wide in disbelief. "Who's the one who said she couldn't work on the project because she had to go out to the sale at ... some clothing store?"
Gwiboon faltered for a moment before shooting back. "It was a once in a lifetime opportunity...besides, you practice so many days a week. It's not fair. How many teams are you even on?"
"Well, just one at school," Minjung said, looking thoughtful, "but there's the community girl's team, and I can't just ditch them."
"So, what do we do then?"
"Weekends?" Gwiboon looked horrified enough that Minjung quickly added, "Or not."
Leaning against one of the lockers, Gwiboon sighed, before shooting back up and looking at her clothes as if she might have just leaned against a wall of dirt instead. "Can't you just ... miss one practice?"
"God!" Minjung almost growled. "You're such a little princess. Do you ever make any sacrifices yourself? No, because you're spoiled rotten," with those words, Minjung turned on her heal and strode towards the exit.
"Princess..." Gwiboon almost scoffed, incredulous at being called that. "W-well...! You're just a...! You're barely even a girl ... more like a man with boobs, tiny, itty bitty boobs!"
Stopping dead in her steps, Minjung's back straightened, her whole body tense. She flipped around and strode back almost too fast for Gwiboon to process it before her hand was flying up. The shorter girl flinched, certain she was about to get slapped, but then Minjung's palm landed hard on the locker beside her head, rattling the door and sending a bone chilling shiver done her spine.
Looking up, Gwiboon was about to give Minjung a piece of her mind for acting so violently, but then the other girl's body was pressed tight against hers. She leaned down and pressed her lips hard against Gwiboon's. It was firm, but it wasn't rough. Her lips actually felt really soft, her chest pressing against Gwiboon's enough that she could feel her through her sports bra. Her body flushed with heat, a noise of surprised escaping her slightly parted lips.
Pulling back, Minjung glared daggers at her, but her voice was a little breathless as she whispered in a low voice, "Did that feel like a man?"
Without saying another word, the taller girl walked off, the door to the field slamming shut behind her. Gwiboon's knees felt weak, her hand shook as she clutched at her purse strap and ran towards the opposite door.
Minjung was freaking out. Luckily the kiss seemed to have scared Gwiboon away from the spot she sometimes hung out around on the bleachers, or maybe it was the nail polish incident. Who was she kidding? Gwiboon would probably never even look at her again, not with anything but disgust, a step down from her general disdain. A ball smacking her in the side of the head while she just stood there blinking was the final straw before the coach made her sit out. Which was worse, because then she had absolutely nothing to distract her from replaying the event over and over in her mind. It was kind of nice in a way, something she never thought would have happened. Maybe, in some messed up way, it was worth it.
Still reeling from the kiss, Gwiboon went straight to her room when she got home, shutting and locking the door. She didn't want to talk to anyone, which was why when Junghee called, she clicked ignore right away and threw her phone to the side. Grabbing her pillow, she pressed it against her face and let out a frustrated groan. She tried to wipe it from her mind, to erase the thoughts and the feelings, but her lips still tingled where Minjung's had touched them. She felt her stomach flip every time she thought of it again, which just made things worse.
So frustrated she was on the verge of tears, Gwiboon tossed her pillow off and then immediately regretted it. Laying there, with nothing to hold onto or nothing to help and try to smother the memories out, she could do nothing but think about it. Over and over. Everything replayed in her mind, like a torturous mantra. No. She would not accept this. It was not okay. She would go to the teacher tomorrow and tell him she didn't feel safe working with the other girl. Right. She would do that.
Only, that would get Minjung in a lot of trouble. Outing her ... if she really did like girls, could be social suicide. Maybe she'd even get kicked off the sports team. Gwiboon wrinkled her nose, thinking if anything it would feel like a blessing to her to not have to play. But she knew it wasn't like that for Minjung. Soccer was what she cared most about. Almost snarling, Gwiboon kicked her feet and sat up. She needed to get her mind off things. Grabbing her phone that had slipped off the edge of the bed, she called Junghee and demanded that the other girl accompany her shopping. Good thing it was the weekend. She'd have plenty of time to try and forget.
Unfortunately for Gwiboon, Monday did come and she knew she'd have to face Minjung in one way or another. Although she was kind of taken by surprise when she had only been at school for maybe ten minutes when Minjung was suddenly by her side leaning close to say quietly, "I need to talk to you."
Gwiboon felt the hair on her body rise at Minjung's closeness, an almost queasy feeling in her stomach as she tried to take a step away, "I don't..."
"No," Minjung cut her off, grabbing onto her arm and pulling her down the hallway. "I need to talk to you."
They ended up in the girl's restroom. Minjung barged in and started to make sure they were alone, checking every stall and almost scaring a freshman half to death as she stared her down until she fled from the bathroom, forgetting to even wash her hands. Gwiboon couldn't help but wrinkle her nose at the thought. "You really shouldn't be so abusive to your underclassmen. That poor girl will probably be haunted by..." she trailed off as Minjung rounded on her, the look in her eyes full of uncertainty and maybe even fear. She felt her gut twist for real then, almost feeling guilty, almost like she had been the one who did something.
"Look," she started, staring daggers at the floor before turning her eyes up to meet Gwiboon's gaze. "That day, I..."
A sudden fear surged up in Gwiboon, and before she knew what she was doing, she had shouted, "Stop!" eyes widening at the sound of her own voice, she saw surprise mirrored on Minjung's face. "I don't want to talk about it."
"But...I just want to apol..."
"No! I said I don't want to talk about it," tearing her gaze away, Gwiboon quickly headed for the door, adding over her shoulder before leaving, "It never happened."
Gwiboon felt like she was in a state of nervous tension the rest of the day. Junghee kept asking her why she was so jumpy and Eunsook kept giving her worried glances. Gwiboon just snapped at them and eventually said she had a lot of pressure on her right now, letting them assume it was from school or something. The way Junghee scoffed made her even more irritable. What did she know? No, she didn't know anything really. She didn't know that Minjung had kissed her. She didn't know that no matter what she did, Gwiboon couldn't stop thinking about it.
Unfortunately for Gwiboon, the next day in history class they got reminders that the following Monday they would need to have an outline of their presentation turned in. She felt a horrible sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach because she couldn't just ignore Minjung forever. No, she wouldn't even get a week of respite.
By the end of class she'd built up about all the resolve she had in her and marched over to Minjung's desk. "This weekend at my place," she wanted to be on her own turf. "I'm not going to fail because of you, and I'm giving up my free time, so you better be there."
That Saturday they both felt incredibly nervous. Gwiboon kept pacing her room, making sure nothing was out of place. Minjung checked her appearance in the mirror several times before leaving, each one followed by a guttural sigh because whatever was there wasn't what Gwiboon wanted.
Gwiboon was starting to have second thoughts about the whole thing. Minjung in her house. Minjung in her room. No, it didn't sound like a good situation at all. The nervous tension was still really high when Minjung arrived. Gwiboon took them straight to her room where she had all her notes out, ready to get to work. She thought it would be better that way, if they got it over with as quick as possible. Jumping straight into work definitely wasn't her usual style though. She'd usually spend a good hour socializing first, but this was Minjung. The only thing they had in common anymore was that they were both on edge because of the kiss.
Stepping gingerly into the room, as if she might break something, Minjung set her bag down on the extra chair that had been pulled into the room earlier. "Guess you have your part of the work done, huh?"
GWiboon nodded curtly and went to sit down at her desk, opening her laptop. "Okay, we can start putting them together and decided what order we're going to talk about things."
Walking closer, Minjung opened her bag and set her own notes out before dropping the bag to the floor and sitting down herself. Gwiboon hadn't realised how close the chairs would put them and she found herself start slightly. "What are you doing?" she demanded before realising how ridiculous she'd sound.
Minjung blinked at her in confusion. "Umm, sitting down to help?"
"Yeah, well...let's just keep it that way."
Minjung could only stare at her for a long moment before rolling her eyes. "Whatever you say, princess."
Despite the way she bristled with indignation, Gwiboon kept her mouth shut and reached for her notes to begin. Minjung felt an odd pang of sadness, that they might never be the same again, but really, it should have been a good thing. Fading to strangers should be better than enemies, but as masochistic as it sounded, Minjung knew she would miss the fights because that was all she had left.
Focusing on work was difficult, but Gwiboon worked hard to keep them on track, often stumbling over her words. She'd yelled at Minjung a couple of times for leaning too close, and the taller girl was really starting to get a headache from dealing with it. Just what was he problem? Did she really think Minjung would try to jump her against her will? Gwiboon was getting uncomfortable herself, shifting on her chair several times before sighing and moving to sit on her bed. "I can't stand sitting there anymore," she explained.
Wavering, Minjung wasn't sure if she should stay at the desk or follow. She stayed where she was for a few minutes, but she was uncomfortable herself, and it was really difficult to communicate with someone several feet away. As she moved closer to the bed, she noticed Gwiboon tense. With a sigh she stopped and started to move back to the desk.
"Oh, just come over here," Gwiboon said with an exasperated tone. Minjung huffed lightly, but moved to sit on the bed, a safe distance away from the other girl. As the second hour they worked ticked on, Gwiboon brought them a couple of drinks and some snacks. Thing slowly started to get less tense between them as they got more into the presentation.
Gwiboon didn't really care much for history, but she'd been able to convince the teacher to change their topic to something more related to artistic evolution than something boring like war. Plus, she liked putting on a show. She had a lot of ideas, ideas that Minjung had to consent were good. Being captain of the soccer team, Minjung was good at speaking to a group and conveying her ideas. They were certain they had this in the bag. Before they knew it, they had the outline pretty much done.
They were both feeling the affects of having worked so long. Minjung stretched her arms over her head as Gwiboon grabbed onto one of the cookies she'd brought in earlier. Her stomach was impatiently waiting for dinner, which she was somewhat considering offering to Minjung.
A sudden laugh brought her out of her thoughts. She glanced over at the taller girl to see her looking at her, eyes dancing with amusement. "Don't you know how to eat?" she teased, reaching over to brush the little bit of chocolate from her skin, too close to her lips.
Gwiboon felt her stomach do that weird flip and her lips parted slightly. Without realising she was doing it, she'd leaned in closer to the other girl. Minjung's eyes widened a little and Gwiboon's chest seized up with fear, but as quickly and she could lean away Minjung was pulling her face closer.
Minjung stopped just short of kissing her again, and Gwiboon felt herself leaning in the rest of the way. Their lips bumped awkwardly, but Minjung took over with ease, tilting her head as her fingers sank into Gwiboon's hair. Minjung's lips were soft, like they'd felt before, but now she had much more of a chance to really feel them against her own. They felt good, too good. Her mind was screaming that it wasn't right, but her body was demanding more.
Before she could do anything though, Minjung broke the kiss to look at her. Her eyes were questioning, asking for an answer Gwiboon didn't have, wasn't ready to face. She dropped her gaze to her lap and they sat in silence for a minute before Minjung pulled away and stood up. As if she could read the other girl's thoughts, she said, "I think I should get home before dinner. My dad will worry..."
Looking up, Gwiboon watched her pack her stuff into her bag. "Y-yeah ... we have everything we need done anyway."
"Yeah, the outline should be good, if you could just print it off before class?"
Gwiboon nodded and watched as Minjung sort of shuffled for the door.
"Thanks. See you at school then," she added before quickly ducking out. Gwiboon took a deep breath and fell back against her bed.
"Shit..."
Pressing her forehead into her knuckles, Minjung had to hold back a deep sigh. Her thoughts and feeling had been reeling since the night before. It wasn't one sided. Her stomach flipped and a blinding giddiness swooped through her body, something quickly stifled by remembering this was reality and the look on Gwiboon's face hadn't been all that thrilled. A crushing fear made Minjung think it wasn't going to work. Gwiboon wouldn't want to be a lesbian for her, to give up that much. It was all she could do not to obsessively brood over it the whole day.
She knew seeing Gwiboon in class wouldn't help either. Or not seeing really, because for some odd reason she wasn't in there. The outline had been turned in though, the teacher let her know before class. Gwiboon hadn't hunted her out either, outside of class. Mingjung felt the rock-like feeling in her stomach grow into a boulder. That had to mean something.
She closed her gym locker hard and took a deep breath. Acting like this wasn't going to get her anywhere. She needed to confront Gwiboon, make her talk, and if nothing else then move on.
"Minjung?" came a hesitant voice from behind her.
Jumping a little, the tall girl whipped around and found herself facing one of her upperclassmen. It was a girl on the team with her, a senior she admired for her skill with the ball.
"Is everything okay?"
She felt a blush creep into her cheeks, ashamed of slamming the door for no apparent reason, for not being able to explain herself. "Ah, no, everything's okay. Just a little tense from stress. Finals and the big game..." she trailed off, suddenly thinking that was what she should be stressed over. It wasn't though.
"I understand. It's a tough year, that's for sure," she sympathized with a smile. Her countenance suddenly changed and she started to fidget with the towel in her hands. "Minjung-ah...?"
The taller girl nodded, a little confused by the girl's behavior. She definitely had something on her mind, but Minjung couldn't think what it could have to do with her.
Gwiboon almost felt like she was at a wave pool, as her nerves kept crashing down on her. She felt drenched in them. She'd barely gotten any sleep the previous night. For a couple different reasons that all centered around one person. She'd wanted to kiss Minjung. No, she had wanted a lot more than just a kiss, and she still did. It was a lot to take in, a lot to digest.
Oddly enough, Gwiboon didn't think it was all that bad to swing for girls. Her uncle was gay, and one of the girls in school she knew was like that was really cool. They'd gone shopping together once, by accident when they met in one of Gwiboon's favorite stores. She was a godsend to have around because she had great taste and good suggestions.
The thing that irked her the most was that she swore she would never fall for an athlete. Then again, why did she have such a problem with them in the first place? Minjung. Damn the girl, but it all went back to her. Another wave of nerves making her feel nauseous and Gwiboon was on her way to the nurse's office right before her class she usually had with Minjung. She just couldn't face her yet.
Gwiboon was good at faking a cold, or maybe it was just that the nurse would rather let her sit out of class than have to deal with a fussy teen. Either way, Gwiboon got what she wanted. She always got what she wanted. Well, she hoped so anyway. The time she spent in the infirmary, Gwiboon was trying to steel herself to confront the other girl. She went over and over what she could say, or what she would do. Her plans went from grandiose decisions to drag her off to somewhere private and make out until she was breathless. She stopped her mind from going any farther than that. There were pretty simple thoughts of just going up to her and saying straight out that she liked her. That gave her a moment to pause. Liked her. That was a mouthful. She wasn't sure how she was going to do it.
How many different scenarios she went over in her mind might have been why, when she was finally making her way to the gym lockers, the place she knew Minjung would be after classes got out, she had no idea what she was going to say or do.
It didn't matter though, because as she quietly snuck through the door to the lockers and rounded the corner what she saw wiped her mind clear of any plans she might have had. Brown hair pulled back in a long ponytail, standing on her tiptoes, was another one of those annoying jock girls. Her hand pressed against the taller girl's arm as her lips brushed across Minjung's. Gwiboon felt her chest seize up and she was having trouble breathing. Her hand traveled halfway to the collar of her shirt, as if to pull off something that was suffocating her.
She saw Minjung gently push the girl away, saw the confused look on her face, but it didn't really matter. She took a step back, her shoes seeming much heavier as they clanged against the floor. Both girls' heads snapped in her direction, surprise etched onto their faces. This was quickly followed by a tight look of fear on Minjung's. Gwiboon could only imagine what her own face looked like.
"It's not…" the other girl started, clearly trying to explain the situation away, but Gwiboon could care less than to hear it. Turning on her heel, she literally fled from the room. She could hear her name being called out, voice distinctly belonging to Minjung, but that didn't stop her.
Gwiboon ran. Ran until she was bursting through the school doors, headed straight for the parking lot. She was almost at her car when she was suddenly jerked to a stop, something tight clamping around her wrist. She gasped in surprise, her mind so set on getting away that she had blocked out everything else.
"Gwiboon, will you just listen to me? I didn't kiss her. It was a mistake."
"I know!" she nearly screeched, trying to jerk her hand away, managing it after a second, Minjung looking a little lost now.
"Then why…" she started again.
"Because I didn't want you to see me like this," she felt her eyes water and she wanted to smack herself for looking so stupid, especially in front of Minjung.
"Gwiboon…" the taller girl breathed out her name, reaching up to run her thumb gently under Gwiboon's eye to catch the tears. "I like you. I only like you."
Sniffling a little, Gwiboon tried to huff, choking on the sound instead. "I look awful when I cry."
"You look beautiful."
She could have sworn she went bright red, even though she couldn't see her own face. "And you!" she harmlessly smacked at the other girl's arm. "You've ruined my perfect plan. It's all your fault."
"What? My fault? Wait," a small smile curled onto her lips. "What plan?"
Gwiboon looked up at her, lips poking out as she frowned. "Nothing. I just…I was going to confess, but then you had to go and kiss someone else and then you did it first."
"I didn't kiss her back," she defended herself, hands dropping to hold onto Gwiboon's arms, wanting to pull her closer and afraid of her running off again. "And … you really get worked up about the silliest things. You should be relieved that I … you … " stopping, she replayed the other girl's words in her head, blinking a few times. "You're saying you like me?"
The shorter girl couldn't help but laugh, her hands tangling in Minjung's shirt at her stomach, feeling emboldened somehow. "You're stupid, you know that?"
"Hey…" Minjung started, but she was quickly cut off as Gwiboon pressed her lips tightly against hers. Breathing in through her nose in surprise, Minjung let her arms slip around the other girl, leaning into the kiss.
Somewhat idly, but with a sense guided by curiosity, Gwiboon trailed her fingers slowly along the skin of Minjung's stomach. It was smooth and soft. It wasn't too different from how she would have imagined it, but somehow it still felt surprising, maybe just to even be there.
"That kind of tickles, you know," Minjung huffed, her eyes slipped shut as if she was either deeply relaxed or falling asleep. They were at Minjung's house, a place Gwiboon hadn't been in years. She kind of wondered if Minjung's parents had been glad when they stopped being friends. She always thought they saw her as trouble, even when she was eight years old and trying to give everyone she knew make-overs.
Smiling to herself, Gwiboon lightly pinched the other girl's side.
"Yah! That doesn't mean I want you to hurt me."
"Well, it didn't tickle anymore, did it?" she shot back smugly, crawling a little more onto the other girl's chest, leaning over her. Somehow, despite how new and mind shaking it was, it felt really right, really easy. Leaning up, Gwiboon pressed her lips against Minjung's demandingly, feeling like she was releasing the tension that had been building up for years, like she'd been waiting forever for this moment. When Minjung's arms slid around her waist and pulled her closer, Gwiboon was completely sure that she had exactly what she wanted.