Not Together, Together - Jared/Jensen - NC-17

[masterlist415]

Awesome banner by bt_kady and manip by travellerintime Thank you ladies!!

Title: Not Together, Together
Author: anyothergirl415
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 - AU, fwb, very minor angst
Words: ~8,400
Summary: Jared and Jensen had a good thing going, being best friends and sleeping together, loads of other people made the friends with benefits thing work out, right? Yeah, the fact that Chad didn’t think it would work well really should have been a sign.
Notes: Written for dephigravity for spn_j2_xmas. Thank you to paper_storm88 for the beta and to my lovely aythia for holding my hand and guiding me along as she usually, amazingly, does :D


The click of the front door opening had Jensen smiling down at the dish of pasta he was stirring. Only one other person had a key to his place and Jensen was just thinking he was in the mood for a fix. That was one of the best things about Jared - just one of them though, there were quite a few, and Jensen was pretty sure he was about to be reminded of a lot of them. At least if the text messages he’d received twenty minutes ago were anything to go by.

Jared: u home?
Jensen: where else would I be?
Jared: thank fuck

After that Jensen hadn’t heard from him anymore but they’d been doing this long enough that he could fill in the blanks. As Jared’s keys clattered on the table by the front door, his shoes thumping the hardwood floor as he kicked them off, Jensen turned off the stove and dumped his pasta into the strainer in the sink. It was preemptive because Jensen was pretty sure it was going to be one of those nights, the kind where he was sore for days afterwards but in the absolute best of ways.

The pan clattered as he set it back on the stove and turned to the sound of Jared’s footfalls, drifting down the hall toward him.

“Hey, how’s-”

Jared didn’t let Jensen get any more of his greeting out and yeah, definitely one of those nights. In a flash the taller man was across the kitchen and pulling him close hard, crushing their lips together in a kiss that nearly had their teeth clicking together. Jensen moaned and slid his arms up around Jared’s shoulders, hands tangling into familiar thick brown hair, body curving up to mold along long lines and firm muscles.

Jensen would probably never admit it out loud but his stomach always rolled in pleasant waves when Jared was desperate and eager like this. Very rarely did he learn what brought on the mood, maybe Jared had a bad day, maybe he was just incredibly horny or something, whatever it was Jensen certainly wasn’t complaining. Especially not when Jared was grasping the back of his thighs and sliding him up onto the counter, pushing between Jensen’s already spreading legs.

When Jared broke back from the kiss it was to pull Jensen’s shirt off, balling it up and tossing it across the kitchen. His smooth slick lips descended on Jensen’s neck and Jensen let his head fall back, not caring when it thumped against the cabinet. Jared always knew exactly where to part his lips, where to suck hard to send blood rushing through Jensen at a dizzying rate.

“Jesus, Jared,” Jensen groaned as strong fingers curved over his already hard cock in his jeans, rubbing down with just enough force to make it maddening.

Jared chuckled roughly against Jensen’s neck, sliding up enough to allow Jensen to tug his shirt free a moment later. Almost instantly Jensen’s fingers were back on Jared’s skin, dragging over miles of smooth tan skin. Jensen’s hips arched up as Jared tugged sharply at the fly of his jeans, freeing the button and shoving down the zipper.

They weren’t even going to make it out of the kitchen, which for some reason was far hotter than Jensen expected. He was pretty sure he’d never seen Jared quite this hard up for it but maybe he could get used to it.

“Gonna fuck me right here?” Jensen asked in a near-hoarse whisper, body twisting as Jared pulled down his jeans and briefs. “I fucking make food on this counter.”

Jared straightened up enough to smirk at Jensen, working at the waistline of his own jeans a beat later. “Oh I’m sorry Princess, would you prefer we move to the bedroom? Maybe you’d like me to light some candles first too?”

Jensen rolled his eyes and let his hand fall in a loud smack along the back of Jared’s neck, tugging him in to bite along his lower lip. “Shut up asswipe, before I don’t put out.”

“You?” Jared huffed and tugged Jensen to the edge of the counter. “Like hell you won’t put out.”

Even if Jared was vaguely implying Jensen was a bit of a slut - which wasn’t true, and they both knew it - Jensen couldn’t quite work up the words to protest. That was likely because Jared had produced a packet of lube from his pocket and was currently working two slick fingers swiftly up in Jensen, riding up the arch of his body into the steady pressure. Jared didn’t bother going slow and Jensen didn’t need him to. His hands curved over Jared’s shoulders as his head tipped back to rest on the cabinet once more.

“Fuck. Jared, come on,” Jensen grunted and let his nails dig into Jared’s skin, lips twitching in a smirk when the man hissed.

“Not putting out my ass,” Jared muttered as he pulled his fingers free and bit at the top of a condom packet - clearly he’d been planning this, carrying lube and a condom around in his pocket - rolling it down over his cock a beat later. When he fumbled with the lube Jensen rolled his eyes and grabbed it instead, slicking up his fingers and stroking them swiftly over the latex. “Jen, shit.”

Jensen bit his lip as Jared’s hips thrust up into his touch, body shuddering as Jensen’s wrist twisted in that way he knew drove the man crazy. He dropped his hand as Jared moved forward, dragging his ass half off the counter and lining up at his hole. Their lips came together in another deep hard kiss as Jared thrust forward, bottoming out in one swift movement.

They did this often enough Jensen only felt the faintest sting of a stretch. If he were completely honest, that feeling was part of the thrill for him and Jared knew him well enough to know that. He pulled back within moments, fingers gripping hard enough to bruise along the bottom of Jensen’s thighs as his hips thrust forward once more.

One of the reasons this thing between them worked so well was the fact that their bodies fit so well together. Jensen was pretty sure he wouldn’t have wanted to repeat the performance - after that first night together when they’d both had too much to drink and tumbled onto the guest bed in Chad’s place - if Jared wasn’t a fucking god when it came to sex. He knew just the right way to snap his hips, picking the perfect pace that was just hard enough, just sharp enough.

Jared lifted Jensen’s legs, changing the angle, and the next quick thrust forward had the head of his cock bumping hard up against Jensen’s prostate. He finally tore back from the kiss, head hitting a little too hard on the cabinet as he tossed it back, letting a loud low moan travel up through him.

“God, fuck, Jared,” Jensen moaned and tangled one hand up in Jared’s hair, the other curling over his arm just to find something to hold on to. As Jensen’s body pushed further off the counter, Jared was all but holding him, controlling each of his hard thrusts forward, panting heavily into Jensen’s neck.

The pleasure was building in Jensen as quick as it always did when Jared was so eager like this. Teeth sank sharp into his neck and Jensen’s moan nearly turned into a whimper, his hand falling from Jared’s arm and slapping hard onto the counter, curling over the smooth surface to try and keep himself in place. He couldn’t catch his breath, the feel of Jared’s cock sliding swiftly in and out of him enough to make his vision blur.

So it wasn’t that big of a surprise that his orgasm exploded in a sharp burst of heat the moment Jared’s fingers curled around his cock and stroked up. He moaned Jared’s name and clung to his hair and the counter, praying Jared had enough of a hold on him to keep them from tumbling to the ground.

Jared’s hips picked up a feverish, stuttering pace for the last dozen or so thrusts it took for his own peak to hit. He mouthed along Jensen’s neck with his own moan as his body rocked gently forward, milking through the last of his release. Jared slumped against Jensen, Jensen slumped against the cabinet, and they shared panted breaths as their lips just barely brushed and slid together.

This thing between them, whatever you wanted to call it - friends with benies, as Chad had labeled it - had been going on long enough it didn’t get awkward post sex. Actually, the only time it had verged on the weird was the morning after their first time and that was mostly the hangovers they’d both been dealing with. As it was now though, Jensen had no problems straightening his clothes and cleaning up once Jared had pulled back and stumbled to the bathroom.

He turned the stove back on and dumped the pasta back into the pan, emptying the can of sauce over it a moment later. The way his legs felt a little like jelly and his skin was still flush and tingling, that was all just enough to make Jensen smile. It wasn’t like he could really find a reason to complain about getting laid regularly without any of the emotional complications or attachments of relationships.

“What’s for dinner, bitch?” Jared asked as he appeared back in the kitchen, tugging Jensen’s fridge open and pulling out a couple beers.

Jensen rolled his eyes but smirked down at the pan. “What does it matter? You’d eat dog food in your post-sex hunger craze.”

When Jared laughed and smacked his ass hard, Jensen couldn’t help joining in.

-===-

“So when’s your boyfriend coming over?”

Jared jerked up so quickly his head nearly cracked on the bottom of the cabinet. Damn Chad for scaring the shit out of him. “Fuck dude, don’t you know how to knock?”

A smirk pulled at Chad’s lips as he dropped a six pack on the counter and shrugged out of his coat. “Sorry Princess, forgot how twitchy your default mode is. Anyway.”

“What did you say?” Jared pulled the tray of cookies from the oven, shifting across the stove top and adding the unbaked tray a moment later.

“You’re baking. Cookies.” Chad laughed and Jared rolled his eyes. Sometimes he thought he needed to invest in a How to Understand Chad Michael Murray For Dummies book because, seriously.

“Oh wow Chad, thanks. I totally couldn’t have put that together without you.” Jared arched a brow at his friend then turned back to his oven, inspecting the cookies already cooling there. “Now what the hell did you say earlier? Something about a boyfriend?”

“Yeah. As in yours. When will he be here?” Chad ignored Jared smacking at his hand and snagged a cookie from the tray, tossing it back and forth between his hands. “Ow. Fucking hot.”

Jared pursed his lips and swallowed a laugh. Having Chad around - however irritating at times - was also pretty hilarious so he’d never complain. Even if the man had this tendency to tease shamelessly. “Jensen is not my boyfriend. He’ll be over in ten minutes.”

“Oh so you’re both still living in that happy little denial land where you think you can fuck all the time and not fall for each other?” Chad stuffed half the cookie into his mouth, giving Jared a chocolatey grin. “He bringing legit food?”

Jared decided to play the safe route and not discuss the whole Jensen and him thing. Everyone who knew about their friends with benefits thing seemed to think they were going to end up either hating each other or falling in love and Jared was tired of explaining how it just didn’t work that way with them. They fucked, it was fan-fucking-tastic, and they could hang out like best friends. They didn’t need more.

“Dani and him are bringing Chinese. Did you get the movies?”

“Naturally. I am amazing, remember?” Chad mumbled around the last bite of cookie and turned to stuff the beer he’d brought in the fridge. When he straightened up again he scoffed and Jared’s shoulders tensed. He had a pretty good feeling he knew exactly what Chad was looking at. “Not your boyfriend, eh?”

Glancing over his shoulder, Jared’s suspicions were confirmed. Chad was thumbing the edge of a picture of Jared standing with his arm over Jensen’s shoulders. They were at Misha’s house for some party, beers clutched in both their hands, grinning at whoever had been taking the picture. It didn’t mean anything really, so Jared rolled his eyes once more and turned away. “Oh yeah and the fact that there’s a picture of you and me on the fridge too clearly means we’re also dating.”

“Ew.” Chad coughed at that and Jared fist pumped in victory. It was short lived, since Chad continued speaking in the next breath. “All I’m saying is, when you two settle in to play house with the picket fence and the two point five kids, I get free beer for life because I saw this one coming a light-year away.”

Jared was more than a little relieved when the front door opened with the wave of Danneel and Jensen’s laughter. Chad spun to help them with their bags and Jared dipped down to check the rest of the cookies. Chad was full of shit, clearly, and he should tell Chad just how much beer he expected to receive when Jensen and he remained just friends for as long as their sexual relationship lasted and beyond. Even if Jensen suddenly decided he wanted to date someone else, Jared would be fine with that. Definitely.

“Hey,” Jensen’s voice was warm and familiar at his side, his hand coming to rest on Jared’s shoulder as Jared stood. “How’s it going?”

Jared turned to that equally familiar smile and something in his chest felt momentarily tight. It was nothing, though, so he ignored it and reached out to squeeze Jensen’s hip. “Good. It’s going good.”

Jensen was beaming at him even as he pressed forward and pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of his lips. If Jared’s palms felt a little damp when he dropped them to his sides, well, it was just warm in his apartment.

-===-

Fingering the soft cotton of the shirt, Jensen held it up and tilted his head to the side, trying to picture Jared wearing it. The dark blue color would probably look good on Jared but the shirt in general was too fancy. Jared would likely feel uncomfortable wearing it but he was a nice guy so he’d never tell Jensen and probably go out of his way to wear it when they were together, despite being clearly unhappy with it.

Sighing, Jensen placed the shirt back on the rack and turned to wander back through the store, spotting a flash of bright red hair and stepping up to Danneel’s side.

“Any luck?” She turned to him with a knowing smile, like she’d been watching as Jensen had a silent debate over clothing items a moment before.

Jensen shrugged and shoved his hands into his pockets. “I don’t know. What the hell do you get one of your best friends that you also happen to be sleeping with?”

“A big box of condoms and flavored lube?” Danneel suggested, laughing when the woman passing by shot them a look. “It’s Jared, Jen, you know him better than anyone. What would he love to get?”

However true that might be, Jensen knowing Jared better than anyone else did, it didn’t necessarily make shopping for his Christmas present any easier. “Hell if I know. Are we even supposed to exchange gifts? Isn’t that like... pushing the lines between friendships and relationships?”

“You’re getting me a Christmas present,” Danneel pointed out and Jensen wasn’t all that surprised that she already knew that. “You get friends presents.”

“Yeah but I’m not sleeping with you. I don’t want it to send the wrong message. What if he’s not getting me one? Then I give him one and he totally wigs.” It was a complicated thing, balancing a friendship and a strictly sex relationship. Not a relationship. Whatever.

“Well how about this logic, did you give him a Christmas present last year? You know, before you started pretending like having sex together wasn’t going to change your friendship?” Danneel just barely glanced his way with a smirk before pulling up a dress on a hanger and eyeing it. “Too skanky?”

“Not if you’re going as Santa’s little slut this year, no,” Jensen noted dryly, pulling his phone from his pocket as it vibrated. He was pretty used to all of their friends voicing doubts about the whole friends with benefits thing, Jensen was comfortable enough with the situation to not doubt a thing. For the most part.

Jared: guess what I’m doing
Jensen: skydiving?

“Bitter is not a pretty look for you Jensen Ross,” Danneel sighed and put the dress back, reaching for another, only slightly longer, one a moment later. “Anywho. Did you? Do gifts last year?”

Jensen pursed his lips and ran his thumb down the screen on his phone absently, trying to remember the year before. He seemed to recall a lot of spiked eggnog and Chad butchering Christmas carols while wearing ridiculous reindeer ears. But through the drunken fog haze of memory he did seem to remember Jared presenting him with a nicely wrapped gift and a kiss on the cheek. “Oh yeah. We um, he gave me the complete Indiana Jones collection on Blu-Ray.”

The eye roll Danneel had for that was hard enough Jensen could feel it and he laughed softly, taking the dress from the girl and putting it back on the rack. She moved on to the next selection, which was mildly more suitable. “Alright so, you did gifts when you were just friends and if you’re supposedly just friends now, you should do gifts. Something you’d give a friend but not something you’d give a lover.”

Thankfully Jensen’s phone vibrated again, sparing him from trying to puzzle out the subtle differences between a gift you’d give a friend and not a lover. How the hell was he supposed to know the difference?

Jared: got 2 fingers up my ass. wanna come help me out?
Jensen: b there in 10

“Dani, sorry, I’ve gotta -”

“Really?” Danneel turned to him with arched brows, clearly not impressed. “Jensen Ackles, are you going to bail on me for a booty call? Good god.”

Jensen smirked and stepped forward to kiss the girl’s cheek. “I’ll make it up to you. Just don’t buy the red one, okay? You always drink too much at the Christmas party and I’d rather not get a crotch shot like last year.”

Danneel smacked his arm but Jensen didn’t miss the way she turned away from the red dress in question. “Say hi to your boyfriend for me.”

Jensen flipped her off over his shoulder and turned to head out of the mall.

-===-

“Can I, um, ask you something?” Jared dropped heavily onto the couch beside Jensen, close enough that their sides were touching.

Jensen was fairly sure that was just standard Jared. The man was always sitting too close to everyone, always up in their personal space, and if any waves of heat crawled up through him at the touch well... they were sleeping together after all. It wouldn’t work if he wasn’t physically attracted to Jared. So he kept his eyes on the TV, working his fingers over the X-Box controller in his hand and nodded.

“Are we buying each other gifts for Christmas?” Jared was purposely not looking at him - Jensen noticed as his gaze slid to the side - which probably meant something.

Jensen paused his game and turned to look at Jared, his brows lifting slowly. “I actually was wondering that, the other day. We uh... I mean, there’s nothing weird about that right? We got each other gifts last year.”

A slow smile pulled at Jared’s lips, causing his dimples to grow, and he nodded. “Yeah, awesome. We did, I mean, so we should this year.”

Whenever Jared smiled, Jensen had a hard time not smiling in response. This time his heart fluttered strangely in his chest and he stared at Jared a moment longer before turning back to the TV and unpausing his game. “Yeah definitely.”

“Great.” Jared nodded quickly once more and pushed off the couch, nearly bouncing from the room.

Jensen snorted a laugh and settled back on the cushion behind him, forcing all his focus to the game before him. Jared was just kind of an adorable dork sometimes; there was nothing unusual about that.

Moments later Jared was back, once more sitting right up against Jensen’s side, and offering out a package. Jensen slowly paused his game once more and set the controller to the side, tilting to face Jared and arching his brows curiously. Jared shrugged and grinned down at the gift in that shy way he did when he was nervous. “I might have already gotten your present. Thought, um, just wanted to give it to you without everyone around.”

Yeah, that flutter was back in Jensen’s chest full force and he wet his lips slowly, nodding as he reached out for the gift. Jared was just being considerate, sweet, nothing out of the ordinary there. Which was all fine and dandy to think until Jensen opened the gift and found himself staring down at a neatly woven leather wrist band. It was pretty simple, but it was exactly the kind of bracelet Jensen would wear and countless times over the years people had tried to pick out the right jewelry for him but they always got it wrong.

Jared, clearly, didn’t. Jensen wasn’t entirely sure what to make of that. His fingers trailed over the leather knots slowly and some weird emotion curled in the pit of his stomach. He could dismiss so many things but this feeling was strong and burning and Jensen hadn’t really ever felt it before.

“You don’t like it,” Jared said softly, his shoulders slumping in something like defeat.

“What? No. Jared.” Jensen looked up quickly and smiled at the man, slipping the leather swiftly over his hand to rest along his wrist. “I love it, seriously. It’s... it’s just the kind of thing I’d wear.”

“Yeah?” Jared’s smile was tentative and he reached out, smoothing the leather the rest of the way down. “Awesome. I thought of you, when I saw it. So yeah.”

Jared’s fingers drifted across his hand and for some reason this touch felt so different than all the others. Jensen looked up and found Jared watching him. He knew the man well enough that the way his eyes were narrowed slightly meant he was feeling something too; maybe that weird tangle of emotions Jensen was struggling with.

They moved forward at the same time, their lips meeting in a familiar brush slide. Only, unlike all the other times, it wasn’t rushed or hard or desperate and needy. It was soft and tender and not at all like kisses between two friends who casually hooked up. Jensen wasn’t really complaining, nor was he pulling away. His fingers carded up through Jared’s hair as their lips parted in unison and their tongues drifted lazily together.

Jared moaned softly and Jensen shifted closer, sliding his leg over Jared’s and settling on his lap. This was okay, they could share deep kisses like this, Jared’s hands could tuck under the back of his shirt in a touch a little too much like a caress, there wasn’t anything all that unusual about that. Who said friends with benefits meant it always had to be rushed and hard and needy? They could totally handle slow and tender.

“Don’t have your gift with me,” Jensen gasped as he broke from the kiss, tilting his head back to grant Jared’s seeking lips access to his neck.

Jared chuckled softly against his skin and pressed him closer. “Have you even bought it yet?”

A smile danced across Jensen’s lips, flickering away as he rolled his crotch down against Jared’s. “Shut up.”

“Make me,” Jared pulled back, smirking when Jensen’s gaze met his.

Again with the fluttering of his heart and Jensen considered the man for just a moment before dipping in and capturing his lower lip in a bite just sharp enough to sting. “Gladly.”

-===-

Jared sat straight up in bed, blinking rapidly to clear the last of sleep from his eyes. It was still dark out and the clock was flashing a red 2:23 at him and Jared inhaled shakily, trying to figure out what had caused him to wake up so swiftly. Then there was a loud series of bangs from the front door and Jared slid to the edge of the mattress. Who the fuck was knocking on his door in the middle of the night?

“Alright alright, I’m coming,” Jared called out in a grumble as he slapped on the hall light and scratched over his chest. He was only wearing boxers but whoever was responsible for waking him up from a really good dream involving Jensen and chocolate sauce, well, they deserved whatever they saw.

Flicking the lock swiftly, Jared tugged the door open and leaned against it, blinking out at the bright light of his building’s hallway. The last thing he really expected to see was Jensen, eyes red and puffy, blood smeared on his shirt, hair a tangled mess sticking up in every direction.

“Jen? Jesus, what the hell happened?” Jared pushed the door open further and reached out, taking Jensen’s arm and tugging him inside. “Are you okay?” His hands fluttered over Jensen’s chest, a little worried he might find some nasty cut that was the source of the blood smearing the light blue cotton of Jensen’s shirt.

“It’s - it’s my dad,” Jensen nearly choked out the words through a sob and stepped forward, throwing his arms around Jared and clutching him tightly. “We were out and he just - I think it was a heart attack. God, he fell so hard, smacked his face and was bleeding and I’ve never seen anyone that color before, holy fuck.”

“Shh, Jensen, it’s okay.” Jared wrapped his arms around Jensen, stopping only long enough to lock the front door once more before gently leading Jensen down the hall to his room. “You called 911 right? He’s getting taken care of now, yeah?”

Jensen sniffed loudly, dropping to sit on the edge of Jared’s bed when Jared pushed him down and knelt before. “Y-yeah. He’s, they took him in, rode with him. He’s sleeping now, or was when I left. Mom and Josh are there. I just couldn’t... I needed to get out of there for a while.”

“Is he...” Jared inhaled slowly and busied himself by slipping Jensen’s shoes and socks off. He was almost scared to ask, Jensen looked so upset already, his eyes obviously red and abused from tears, and Jared knew just how close Jensen was to his father. “Jen... is he, okay?”

“He’s alive.” Jensen pursed his lips, lifting his hands to let Jared to pull his shirt off. “He was still asleep when I left. I don’t know how... they’re still not sure about his condition.”

“God,” Jared whispered and pulled Jensen closer to the edge of the bed, slipping the button free from his jeans and tugging him up long enough to yank his jeans down. “I’m sure it’s going to be okay Jen. Your dad, he’s really fucking strong. He’ll totally make it through this. He’ll probably even be home before Christmas. So, just, you know, keep thinking strong thoughts for him and everything.”

As Jared sat back Jensen met his gaze, slowly reaching out to lay fingertips on his cheek. “You’re right. I mean, he’s too stubborn to die.” Jensen managed a weak smile then pushed off the bed, throwing his arms around Jared. “Sorry I woke you up.”

Jared laid his hands flat on Jensen’s back, stroking down slowly and pressing a kiss to his shoulder. Everything in Jared’s chest tightened and fluttered and it was something he’d been feeling a little too often as of late. He was kind of a little scared to think about it too much because it meant something important that he maybe wasn’t ready for. “Don’t be sorry. I’m just glad you had someone to go to.”

“All I could think of was getting to you.” Jensen pulled back slightly to meet Jared’s gaze once more and Jared swallowed thickly. “I mean. I knew, I was sure you’d make me feel better. Because that’s what you do, for people. Always cheer everyone up.”

“It’s my super special gift,” Jared breathed, smiling at Jensen for just a moment before climbing up on the bed. “Come on, I was having a good dream. Maybe I can get back to it.”

Jensen laughed softly and allowed Jared to tug him back on the bed, slipping under the covers with him. It didn't seem all that strange to Jared, having Jensen sleep in his arms like this, though he was fairly sure once upon a time they had vague rules about this. It wasn’t like he’d turn away Jensen in his time of need or something, that would be awful.

“What were you dreaming about?” Jensen asked quietly a few minutes later, threading his fingers through Jared’s on his chest.

At that, Jared flushed and pressed his lips to Jensen’s shoulder, humming softly. “Don’t remember. But I know it was good.”

Somehow it didn’t seem like a good thing to tell Jensen, the fact that he’d been dreaming about him. That was like, crossing some type of line. Right?

~~

“Get lost.” Jared huffed as he stepped out of his room and found Chad still reclining on his couch. “I told you man, Jen is coming over and you don’t want to be here for that.”

Chad’s brows rose for a moment then dropped. “Ah so it’s one of those types of visits.” Chad sighed heavily and pushed up off the couch, stretching with his arms extended toward the ceiling. “So he propose to you yet?”

Jared rolled his eyes and turned to catch his reflection in the mirror. He looked pretty presentable. Not that it mattered. “You’re really not funny Chad.”

“Shove it bitch, I’m hilarious.” Chad smirked and tugged on his coat. “How’s his dad anyway?”

It wasn’t all that unusual that Chad was nice enough to actually care how Jensen’s dad was doing. Still, Jared eyed him suspiciously for a moment until Chad flipped him off then laughed softly. “He’s good. Better. Gonna be released from the hospital tomorrow so he’ll be home for Christmas and such.”

“Well that’s good. Jensen must be relieved.” Chad nodded and stopped beside Jared at the mirror, leaning against the wall and considering him. “You know you get hearts in your eyes whenever you talk about him right?”

“Who? Jensen’s dad?” Jared wasn’t really willing to address the topic so he shot Chad a look with his sarcasm then huffed quietly. “I do not get hearts in my eyes. That’s not even possible.”

“Sure, Jay, deny it left and right. But everyone else sees it. You guys will figure it out eventually.” Chad shrugged and clapped him hard on the shoulder. “And when you do, try not to freak out too hardcore okay? Because, even if you both drive me crazy with your stupidity, there’s nothing wrong with actually having a relationship.”

Jared stuck his tongue out at Chad. It was pretty juvenile and Chad considered him with raised brows for a moment before laughing and heading for the door. It just wasn’t really an issue Jared could address, even if his thoughts were heading that way more and more recently. This hadn’t really been that complicated when it began, Jared couldn’t pinpoint exactly what had changed.

As Chad tugged the door open he stopped, mainly because Jensen was just reaching out for the door knob himself. Chad laughed and brushed past him. “You lovers have fun,” he called over his shoulder as Jensen stepped into the apartment.

“Lovers?” Jensen asked with a soft laugh as he closed the door behind him, turning back to watch Jared shrug. “Typical Chad. Anyway, Merry Christmas!”

Jared grinned as Jensen held out a package, practically beaming at him. Tomorrow night the group was all getting together to exchange gifts but Jared was actually pretty relieved Jensen had given him his gift in private, just like Jared had done. He wanted it to feel more special, which was probably a bad sign. “What did you get me?”

Jensen laughed and rolled his eyes, walking forward and offering Jared the package. “Why don’t you just open it and find out?”

“I could.” With a nod Jared grinned even bigger and snatched the bag, heading over to the couch to drop down and open the bag. The couch dipped as Jensen sat close beside him and Jared spared him a smile before shoving his hand in the bag, tugging out the item. The box inside the bag was small and Jared’s heart was already picking up speed before he flipped open the lid.

The necklace inside nearly perfectly matched the knotted leather on the bracelet Jared had given Jensen a few days before. In the middle was a small wooden charm, a J neatly carved along the surface, and the suggestion alone was enough to make his skin grow hot. Jared wasn’t really the jewelry type, he didn’t wear a lot, but the fact that this necklace matched Jensen’s bracelet and the J on it, well, it meant more than he was willing to say.

“Wow, it’s gorgeous Jen.” Jared trailed his fingers along the knotted leather before glancing up at Jensen. “It... reminds me of yours.”

“Yeah, I - well. That’s why I got it.” Jensen bit down on his lip then reached out, taking the necklace and unclasping the back, bringing it up to secure around Jared’s neck. “That’s kind of ridiculous isn’t it?”

Jared’s fingers fluttered up to touch the J charm before shaking his head, turning to beam at Jensen. “No, not at all.”

Then he’s pressing forward and sealing his lips over Jensen’s because it’s only natural. Whenever that warm flutter in his chest was just a little too much Jared saw to hide it away, push it back down, not address it. This time it was easier to simply focus on the familiar warm slick slide of Jensen’s lips, his hands tangling up in silky golden hair and holding on tightly.

As his leg slid across Jensen’s lap the man moaned and pulled him close, rocking their hips together and letting his hand drift down to fist into the bottom of Jared’s shirt. Jensen kissed him back just as deeply, just as strongly, and Jared fleetingly wondered if maybe Jensen was chasing away his emotions just like Jared was.

After that he stopped thinking, distracted by Jensen pushing back enough to tug his shirt off and throw it across the room, his lips instantly dipping in to smear open trails down Jared’s skin. Jared groaned and arched forward as Jensen’s teeth scrapped across his nipple, dragging slowly out. His hips circled down shamelessly, hand tightening in Jensen’s hair and holding him closer. “Jen, Jesus.”

“Want you,” Jensen moaned against his skin and Jared’s hips jerked forward like Jensen’s words affected every inch of him. “Right here.”

Jared kind of loved all the different places they had sex. Jensen was adventurous like that and it was always a thrill to know things weren’t confined to the bedroom. His fingers slid down to tug at Jensen’s shirt, pulling it off swiftly and dipping in once more to capture the bottom of Jensen’s ear and tug. “You wanna be buried in me Jen? Want me to ride you here on my couch?”

Jensen groaned, gripping Jared’s hips and circling his own hard up against Jared’s ass. “Fuck yeah. Get naked.”

A deep laugh rumbled through Jared and he shifted back, standing just long enough to shove his jeans and boxers off, dipping over to his side table and tugging the drawer open. Jensen echoed his laugh as Jared pulled a condom and bottle of lube free.

“Check you out, Boyscout, always prepared,” Jensen teased, palming across his crotch and flicking the button free. “You finger yourself open before I came over again? Sure makes it easier.”

“Don’t need any fingering.” Jared smirked, dragging his tongue across his lips in appreciation as Jensen lifted his hips enough to work his own jeans and boxers down, exposing the red flush of his hard cock. “Wanna feel every inch of you sliding up into me.”

“Jesus Christ,” Jensen groaned, arching up when Jared tore the package on the condom off and slowly slid it down over his swollen cock. His hands gripped over Jared’s arms, tightening and tugging Jared further over his lap. “You’re driving me crazy.”

A smile flickered across Jared’s lips as he quickly opened the cap on the bottle of lube and squeezed some out on his hand, stroking over the latex in slow, twisting glides. He loved watching Jensen fall apart under his touch, it was like a maddening power he had over the man and Jared sucked in quick breaths, trying to calm the rush of pleasure burning sharp through him.

His knees pressed down into the couch on either side of Jensen’s thighs and he reached behind himself, rubbing the excess lube over his entrance before sliding forward. He wiped his hand off on Jensen’s jeans, chuckling when the man huffed and rolled his eyes. “Get on with it already.”

“You really need to gain some patience,” Jared noted quietly, laughing when Jensen growled and tugged him harder forward once more.

Their lips came together in another deep glide as Jared lined himself up above Jensen. He inhaled deeply through his nose then sank down, taking Jensen all the way in, in one steady thrust. Beneath him Jensen moaned loudly into the kiss, his nails digging into Jared’s arms before his grip loosened and his fingers slid up to graze along Jared’s neck. “So good,” Jensen murmured into the slow part of their lips, his hips rolling slowly up. “Move.”

Jared moaned softly, circling his own hips before lifting up, body hovering over Jensen’s for just a beat before dropping down heavily. When Jensen moaned and curved his head back into the cushion, Jared could only stare. His eyes were drawn to the flutter of Jensen’s pulse in his neck, the way his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, the drag of his tongue over kiss swollen lips. Jared pushed up and sank back down on repeat, not wanting to blink so he didn’t miss a moment of Jensen’s arousal staining across his features.

“Fuck,” Jensen groaned and snapped his hips up to meet Jared’s next drop down. “So fucking good. Jesus, Jared. So tight and hot, can’t - shit.”

It was almost enough to make Jared laugh in pleasure-laced disbelief. Jensen was just too much sometimes and those heady words were thick with desire and burning want that made him feel a little dizzy. He picked up speed, hands pressing on Jensen’s shoulders and using the leverage to shove up and fall hard back down, back arching, moans rising steadily louder from deep inside him.

“Close, close already,” Jensen panted heavily, dropping his hand between them to stroke along Jared’s cock. His grip was just the right side of tight and slick, twisting across Jared’s skin and matching each thrust forward.

Jared moaned and dropped his forehead to Jensen’s, panting against his lips and working his hips harder, faster, clutching tight at Jensen’s shoulders as the man’s cock rolled against his prostate over and over. “Oh, Jensen,” he gasped and arched forward. His orgasm shot through him like sparks and Jared’s eyes closed, his muscles clenching tight around the full length of Jensen buried in him.

“Fuck,” Jensen hissed, milking Jared through his release as his own hips jerked upward and his release rocked through his system.

They stayed that way for several long minutes, Jared circling his hips to work Jensen through the last of his orgasm. Then he collapsed forward, panting into Jensen’s neck, not really caring about the warm come slicking between them.

“Never gets old,” Jensen grumbled and combed his fingers back through Jared’s hair. “Seriously, I could fuck you for days straight.”

Jared huffed out a small laugh, running his nose along Jensen’s jaw. “I’d miss food too much.”

Jensen echoed his laugh and smacked his back weakly. “We could stop to eat. And then switch it up. I shouldn’t have to do all the work after all.”

“So romantic,” Jared muttered, lifting up so Jensen’s cock fell from him and he groaned softly. “I need a shower.”

He’d barely stood before Jensen clambered up after him, pinching his ass. “I’ll come with.”

Friends totally took showers together, right?

~~

It wasn’t that Jensen missed Jared, it was just... well, they’d both been busy with family stuff over the holidays and now it was New Years Eve and Jensen hadn’t seen the man for over a week. That was understandable for this time of year and they’d texted a few times but it wasn’t the same. Jensen was pretty sure he wasn’t supposed to miss Jared but somewhere along the line he’d stopped questioning whether this was alright or not.

Jensen had to work late, which was the main reason he was coming into the party late and still wearing his work clothes. He just hadn’t wanted to go home and change first because... it was almost midnight. There was something important that he just couldn’t really put his finger on it.

“Hey, Chad!” Jensen called over the music and gripped Chad’s arm, squeezing tightly. The blonde turned to him with arched brows and Jensen looked around and dropped his gaze, trying to look as casual as possible. “You seen Jared?”

Chad smirked - apparently Jensen hadn’t looked as casual as he was going for - and pointed to the back balcony. “Go get ‘im cowboy.”

Jensen flipped Chad off then grinned, stepping around him and snagging two beers from the cooler. He called out greetings to people as he passed, glancing at the TV to note the four and half minute countdown to midnight before stepping up to the balcony. Jared was outside alone, leaning his arms on the railing and staring out at nothing. When his head tilted just slightly to the side the moonlight caught his hair, nearly making it sparkle, and Jensen’s heart quickened.

God.

He really had missed Jared. Sure Christmas with his family was good, it was a relief to see his father home from the hospital, but there was so many times something had happened to make him laugh and Jensen found himself wanting to tell Jared. Or watching as his newly married cousin shared kisses with his wife and Jensen found himself wondering what it would be like, to have that kind of happiness with someone. Until he realized he had that, with Jared. They were remarkably happy together, even if they weren’t really together.

For some reason Jensen wasn’t sure he knew the logic behind it any longer.

Tugging the balcony door open, Jensen smiled as he stepped outside and shut the door behind himself. “Why are you out here all alone?”

Jared turned to him and his face lit up brighter than any of the stars Jensen could see decorating the night sky. “Hey Jen. I was worried you weren’t coming tonight.”

“Got off work late.” Jensen shrugged a shoulder and this time he didn’t ignore the way his heart fluttered upon learning Jared had been thinking of him. “Beer?”

“Yeah, thanks.” Jared stepped closer and took the extra beer, his free hand lifting to slide over Jensen’s arm. “Been a while. I’ve... missed you this week.”

Jensen swallowed thickly and tilted his head back slightly, meeting Jared’s gaze. He thought he could name a lot of the emotions he saw playing along the hazel and it wasn’t as scary as it should have been. “I’ve missed you too.”

“Well... good.” Jared laughed but it sounded forced, like maybe he was realizing that missing each other wasn’t what they should be doing.

They were just friends, with the added perks on the side, and that was supposed to work for them. The whole reason they’d agreed to this in the first place was because neither of them wanted a relationship. Dating someone was so much work and you put your heart on the line and more often than not you got burned, so why on earth would they take the risks? And especially with each other, because how could Jensen ever live without Jared if something happened?

“I don’t want to fuck things up,” Jared said quietly, like he was reading Jensen’s mind. “You’re my best friend, Jensen. I... god, I spend a ridiculous amount of time thinking about you. I find myself picturing doing all these things with you. And it’s not just about the sex anymore for me. It’s - fuck, I didn’t mean for it to hit me so hard.”

Jensen swallowed down the thick rise of emotions and reached to the side, setting down his beer, watching as Jared followed his actions. “So... what are you saying then?”

“What am I...” Jared huffed out a quick breath and dug his hands through his hair, turning away from Jensen only to spin back a moment later. “I’ve fucking fallen in love with you. I didn’t mean to and I can’t help it. But you should know, if you just want a buddy you can fuck around with, I can’t do that anymore. I’m sorry, I know it wasn’t supposed to go this way.”

From inside the house Jensen could hear everyone counting down to midnight and well, it seemed a little like fate. Jensen had always heard that you shared a kiss at midnight on New Years with the person you truly cared for, truly loved, the person you wanted to spend the rest of the next new year with. He couldn’t get the words to form on his lips to tell Jared this, not even as the man continued to stare at him and his eyes began to water with tears.

“It’s okay, I understand,” Jared whispered, turning away from Jensen and exhaling audibly. “I know -”

“No. You don’t.” Jensen almost gasped and reached out, snagging Jared’s shirt by the collar and yanking him forward. Cheers exploded inside the apartment - which had really nothing to do with them kissing and had more to do with the clock ticking over to midnight. As their mouths slid slick and familiar together, fireworks exploded in the sky above them and Jensen stepped forward, wrapping his arms tight around Jared to hold him close.

As Jared’s arms slid around him Jensen moaned and let his fingers brush across the knotted leather around Jared’s neck. Maybe this was just an eventual step for them, even back in the beginning when they’d still been trying to fool themselves into believing it would be simple. To just be friends, to sleep together without feeling more, of course it was going to inevitably change them.

“This mean,” Jared murmured against Jensen’s lips and curled his fingers over Jensen’s hip bones, squeezing softly. “You feel the same?”

A small smile played across Jensen’s lips and he allowed Jared to sway them gently back and forward, dancing to the music they could hear inside the apartment. “As you said so eloquently, I’ve fucking fallen in love with you.”

Jared laughed and tugged him impossibly closer, crushing their lips together in a deep kiss. The flutter in Jensen’s heart this time was damn near intoxicating and Jensen thought he could really get used to having this feeling, maybe even for the rest of his life.

Their kiss was cut short by someone clearing their throat from the balcony door and Jensen stepped back, turning to eye Chad. The man was sipping from his glass, his brows arched and a smirk tugging along his lips.

“Can we help you with something?” Jared asked dryly and Jensen grinned as a strong arm dropped over his shoulder. He leaned into the heat of Jared’s body, not all that surprised to see Chad’s smirk growing.

“Free beers, for the rest of my fucking life.” Chad stepped forward and smacked Jared on the back of the head. “And I swear to god if I have to watch you two all over each other now I will be handing punches and quite frequently.”

“You get more and more stupid the drunker you get, you know that right?” Jensen snorted and shook his head, wrapping his arm around Jared’s middle. He could handle Chad teasing them if it meant having Jared.

“I mean it! No fucking PDA. I will not be force subjected to your damn gay love just because you’re both idiots that took eons to figure out how much you wanted to shake up and play Bert and Ernie together.”

Jared groaned, though Jensen was fairly sure he was trying not to laugh, just like Jensen. “God Chad, you’re more offensive than Britney Spears’ blatant crotch shots.”

“I need more alcohol,” Jensen grumbled but he was grinning and when Jared dipped down to kiss him, he tilted easily up into the kiss. It was going to be only natural, taking the step from friends who fooled around to something so much more.

“God damn PDA,” Chad grumbled, slamming the balcony door behind him.

“Hey now we know exactly how to get rid of Chad in the future,” Jared beamed down at Jensen before tugging him close. And Jensen went willingly.

The End