It's Been Ages - Jared/Jensen - PG-13
Title: It's Been Ages
Author: anyothergirl415
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating/Warnings: PG-13 - angst, past underage
Summary: Once they were and maybe now they will be again.
Notes: One of the many repostings for spnspringfling I am sure you will see lately. This fic was written for transfixeddream and originally posted here
"It's not that I don't like you Jared, because I really do. It's just... me."
And wasn't that just the kicker? Because Jensen just had to be the one to take the blame. Jared wanted to hate him, wanted to scream and yell and do all those things other fifteen year old gay boys would do when their hearts were being broken. He didn't do any of them though, just stared down at his hands where tears were decorating the Texan tanned skin and wondered how he didn't see this coming.
"Aw come on Jay, please don't... don't cry. Please? You know I'm moving away, across the country, and I've got - there's so many stupid issues. My issues. You deserve better than that."
Jared thought about telling Jensen he didn't deserve anything better because Jensen was the absolute best, but who was he to hold the boy back? Jensen was eighteen with a shiny new diploma and a grand future on the horizon. And Jared wasn't foolish enough to think he was worth waiting around for.
"We can stay friends though, right?" Jensen's voice was quiet and fingers brushed along Jared's tears, wiping them away though Jared wished he wouldn't. He wanted the tears to stay just so he could remember what this felt like. "We'll email and text and stuff, yeah?"
"Yeah," Jared whispered and closed his eyes so Jensen wouldn't see the lie.
-=-
Why Jared thought walking and reading was a smart idea, he wasn't sure. It was just, this book was really good and he couldn't seem to put it down even when his phone beeped, reminding him there was a meeting in thirty minutes he just had to attend. So his fingers gripped tight along the edge of his e-reader and he kept reading as he crossed the familiar path through the park.
Familiar or not, there was no way to be prepared for the child kneeling on the sidewalk and tracing chalk along the cement. Jared looked up just in time to sidestep, tripping over his own feet in his quick stumble, and falling face first into the grass. The quick angle swerve of his body was the only thing that spared both himself and his e-reader from a rather nasty face-to-face encounter with the sidewalk.
"Shit, Fiona! Fi, you can't just- damnit. I'm so sorry sir, are you okay? I told her not to draw there she's just, you know well a kid and just- I'm really sorry."
Jared swallowed a groan and flopped over onto his back, blinking up at the bright blue sky and a pair of shiny green eyes. The little girl he'd done a ridiculous swan dive to avoid hurting was staring down at him, her sandy blonde hair hanging in waves that blew from side to side as she considered him. There was something about the freckles across her nose that nagged at Jared - something he should remember, or should have already known - but he felt too dazed to place it.
"Fiona, say you're sorry," the man from before - the dad of this little girl Jared assumed - sounded closer now and in the next moment small green eyes were replaced by larger, even brighter ones.
And then that nagging from before was back only now Jared remembered, and he wondered just how hard he'd hit his head. Because really? Now of all times this was really happening to him? "Jensen?"
The man's smile faded then returned, a little more confused, like it used to get when Jared would gush for hours about how he knew they'd spend forever together. Jared pushed up to his feet because, well, obviously Jensen didn't recognize him. He probably hadn't spent years wondering what if?. He had clearly... god damn, he had a kid.
Jared's eyes snapped down to the little girl - same eyes, same freckles, same hair color, oh yeah definitely Jensen's - then over to Jensen's left hand in search for the shiny ring that would surely be decorating smooth skin. Not finding one, Jared looked back up and both Ackles' were watching him with that still lingering confused smile. Which of course had Jared's own smile growing.
"Man. I never thought..." Jared laughed and shook his head then knelt down to meet Fiona's curious gaze. "Hi there, I'm Jared, it's nice to meet you Fiona."
"It's nice to meet you too." Fiona nodded and took his hand, shaking it easily. "I'm sorry I nearly killed you."
"Jared..." Jensen whispered and Jared's gaze flickered up before settling on the girl once more.
"That's okay, you wouldn't be the first to try." Jared grinned, watching the girl giggle then turn to run off, snatching up her chalk once more.
Jared stared at Jensen's jeans for a few long moments because he needed that breather to ride out the unexpected situation. Who would have thought? Jensen here, after all these years.
"Jared..." Jensen said again and smiled like he used to - like Jared always remembered - as he offered a hand out to help Jared stand. "Man, look how you've grown. I remember when I was bigger than you."
And yeah, Jared could remember too. He'd never forget.
-=-
"I'm too skinny." Jared pouted at his reflection in the mirror, lifting his shirt and turning sideways to suck in his stomach and reveal his ribs. "I'm like a damn string bean."
Jensen snorted. Jared watched in the mirror as the boy rolled off the bed and crossed to stand beside him. The warmth of his fingers on Jared's stomach made his skin tingle and his heart flutter like it was Jensen's super power. Which it probably was. "You'll fill out. Trust me. One of these days you'll probably be able to lift me right up off the floor."
"You'd like that. Then you can be super lazy and I can carry you around everywhere." Jared grinned and spun toward Jensen, looping arms around his middle and drawing him close to kiss him softly.
"That is my evil master plan," Jensen murmured, grinning against Jared lips before deepening the kiss.
-=-
There was the very real possibility that Jared shouldn't be here. He'd discussed it with one of his closest friends and she'd insisted that there was nothing dangerous about going to get a coffee with the ex-boyfriend that still owned a piece of your heart. After all, it had been years and years and Jared had moved on. Right? Except for the way his break up with Jensen hurt more than his break up with Greg - a man he'd been dating for almost seven years.
Just that little thing. That and it was fifteen minutes past the hour and Jensen wasn't there yet. Jared wasn't sure he could handle being stood up.
"God, sorry, I know I'm ridiculously late." Jensen dropped into the seat across from Jared and smiled apologetically. "Fiona didn't want to be left with her mom- um. You probably don't want to hear about my child. Sorry."
Jared smiled and hoped the last of his anxiety wasn't clear on his face. Deep down he knew Jensen wasn't an asshole, he wouldn't have just not shown up but... Jared was still a little too in touch with his fifteen year old self. "It's okay, about both things. I guess um, things with you and her mom are...?"
Let Jensen fill in the blank, Jared had driven himself crazy trying to guess Jensen's situation now.
"We've been divorced for three years now but Fi, she just doesn't always get it. She wants me there all the time and that just can't happen." Jensen blew out a breath that sounded a little pained and Jared contemplated just how much this man had changed.
All his memories of Jensen - minus that horrible last one - involved endless smiles and always bright shining eyes. Jensen used to be so carefree and happy and amazing and Jared had to stop to consider whether this was even worth it. Did he really want to change the image he carried with him of that first love that all the others would always be compared to?
"I didn't think you'd get married." Jared looked away because this was like confessing that idealistic snapshot he'd always held close. "I mean, I thought you liked... well, we were... well you know."
"Together?" Jensen provided and Jared had to risk a glance over to make sure Jensen wasn't freaking out. Like that time they'd been in a diner and Jared had taken his hand and Jensen had wigged and fled. "We were. But I… I'm not sure if you remember, how I used to make us hide. Because it took a very, very long time to be okay with myself and who I liked. I used to think- ah never mind, forget it."
Jared cleared his throat, shifted forward, leaned back and finally managed to speak. "No, what? What did you think?"
That wry smile on Jensen's lips was familiar too and Jared wanted to reach out to touch his chin like he might have done once upon a time. "If I'd figured it out and accepted it when I was younger than maybe we would have had a chance. I never forgot about you, not when I got married or had a kid or got divorced. I'm sure you must be- well your life has probably been amazing. I always thought you'd be something great."
"Not so great." Jared shrugged, rubbing at the blush on his cheeks before sliding his fingers back through his hair. "I've got a good job I guess, got some good friends. But there's been some not so amazing things. My partner of seven years cheated on me, that wasn't so great. But I think I'd never really gotten over the first guy to steal my heart so maybe I deserved it."
Jensen sat in silence for so long Jared was afraid to look up. When he did though, the man was smiling and shaking his head. "Look at us. Over thirty years old and commiserating over frappucinos."
"Speak for yourself! I am twenty nine, thank you very much." Jared scrunched his face up then laughed, scooting closer to let his leg rest against Jensen's. It was full of hope and possibility and maybe all those things Jared had always prayed would come his way. "So now... now you're okay with yourself? Honest about who you are I mean?"
"I've admitted that I'm gay, if that's what you're referring to." Jensen wet his lips and Jared could feel the firm press of their calves settling against each other. "Came out to family and friends. Now I'm just trying to figure out how to date, guys no less, after all these years."
"And so, maybe, if I asked you out?" Jared stared down at his coffee finding a strange comfort in the mocha-creaminess.
Until of course Jensen's hand extended across the table and rested over his. "I would say yes. Absolutely. And this time, it'll be better."
Jared twisted his fingers to thread through Jensen's and didn't tell him how last time was absolutely perfect. They'd get there.
-=-
"Hey! Come dance with me!"
Jared peered through the downpour of rain, spotting the boy who'd called to him out in the middle of the street, spinning around with his arms up and his head tipped back. There were about a million reasons Jared should pretend he hadn't heard anything and go inside but it took only seconds and a bright grin for Jared to forget them all.
He ran out into the rain and lifted his own arms, joining in the dance to the imaginary melody. He didn't know this boy - who grabbed his hands and spun him around and laughed and laughed for far too long. But Jared's heart was racing and his clothes were soaked and he wanted this moment to last forever.
"I'm Jared!" He called over the loud echoing splatter of rain drops.
They stopped spinning and the boy worked his fingers between Jared's, giving him that same bright grin that had coaxed Jared out here in the first place. It was enough to make his heart stop and start in some quick out of crazy race. It felt like he'd just opened the door to some marvelous brand new world and Jared wanted to make his home there and never leave.
"I'm Jensen. Wanna keep dancing with me?"
Jared really did.
-Fin
Author: anyothergirl415
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating/Warnings: PG-13 - angst, past underage
Summary: Once they were and maybe now they will be again.
Notes: One of the many repostings for spnspringfling I am sure you will see lately. This fic was written for transfixeddream and originally posted here
"It's not that I don't like you Jared, because I really do. It's just... me."
And wasn't that just the kicker? Because Jensen just had to be the one to take the blame. Jared wanted to hate him, wanted to scream and yell and do all those things other fifteen year old gay boys would do when their hearts were being broken. He didn't do any of them though, just stared down at his hands where tears were decorating the Texan tanned skin and wondered how he didn't see this coming.
"Aw come on Jay, please don't... don't cry. Please? You know I'm moving away, across the country, and I've got - there's so many stupid issues. My issues. You deserve better than that."
Jared thought about telling Jensen he didn't deserve anything better because Jensen was the absolute best, but who was he to hold the boy back? Jensen was eighteen with a shiny new diploma and a grand future on the horizon. And Jared wasn't foolish enough to think he was worth waiting around for.
"We can stay friends though, right?" Jensen's voice was quiet and fingers brushed along Jared's tears, wiping them away though Jared wished he wouldn't. He wanted the tears to stay just so he could remember what this felt like. "We'll email and text and stuff, yeah?"
"Yeah," Jared whispered and closed his eyes so Jensen wouldn't see the lie.
-=-
Why Jared thought walking and reading was a smart idea, he wasn't sure. It was just, this book was really good and he couldn't seem to put it down even when his phone beeped, reminding him there was a meeting in thirty minutes he just had to attend. So his fingers gripped tight along the edge of his e-reader and he kept reading as he crossed the familiar path through the park.
Familiar or not, there was no way to be prepared for the child kneeling on the sidewalk and tracing chalk along the cement. Jared looked up just in time to sidestep, tripping over his own feet in his quick stumble, and falling face first into the grass. The quick angle swerve of his body was the only thing that spared both himself and his e-reader from a rather nasty face-to-face encounter with the sidewalk.
"Shit, Fiona! Fi, you can't just- damnit. I'm so sorry sir, are you okay? I told her not to draw there she's just, you know well a kid and just- I'm really sorry."
Jared swallowed a groan and flopped over onto his back, blinking up at the bright blue sky and a pair of shiny green eyes. The little girl he'd done a ridiculous swan dive to avoid hurting was staring down at him, her sandy blonde hair hanging in waves that blew from side to side as she considered him. There was something about the freckles across her nose that nagged at Jared - something he should remember, or should have already known - but he felt too dazed to place it.
"Fiona, say you're sorry," the man from before - the dad of this little girl Jared assumed - sounded closer now and in the next moment small green eyes were replaced by larger, even brighter ones.
And then that nagging from before was back only now Jared remembered, and he wondered just how hard he'd hit his head. Because really? Now of all times this was really happening to him? "Jensen?"
The man's smile faded then returned, a little more confused, like it used to get when Jared would gush for hours about how he knew they'd spend forever together. Jared pushed up to his feet because, well, obviously Jensen didn't recognize him. He probably hadn't spent years wondering what if?. He had clearly... god damn, he had a kid.
Jared's eyes snapped down to the little girl - same eyes, same freckles, same hair color, oh yeah definitely Jensen's - then over to Jensen's left hand in search for the shiny ring that would surely be decorating smooth skin. Not finding one, Jared looked back up and both Ackles' were watching him with that still lingering confused smile. Which of course had Jared's own smile growing.
"Man. I never thought..." Jared laughed and shook his head then knelt down to meet Fiona's curious gaze. "Hi there, I'm Jared, it's nice to meet you Fiona."
"It's nice to meet you too." Fiona nodded and took his hand, shaking it easily. "I'm sorry I nearly killed you."
"Jared..." Jensen whispered and Jared's gaze flickered up before settling on the girl once more.
"That's okay, you wouldn't be the first to try." Jared grinned, watching the girl giggle then turn to run off, snatching up her chalk once more.
Jared stared at Jensen's jeans for a few long moments because he needed that breather to ride out the unexpected situation. Who would have thought? Jensen here, after all these years.
"Jared..." Jensen said again and smiled like he used to - like Jared always remembered - as he offered a hand out to help Jared stand. "Man, look how you've grown. I remember when I was bigger than you."
And yeah, Jared could remember too. He'd never forget.
-=-
"I'm too skinny." Jared pouted at his reflection in the mirror, lifting his shirt and turning sideways to suck in his stomach and reveal his ribs. "I'm like a damn string bean."
Jensen snorted. Jared watched in the mirror as the boy rolled off the bed and crossed to stand beside him. The warmth of his fingers on Jared's stomach made his skin tingle and his heart flutter like it was Jensen's super power. Which it probably was. "You'll fill out. Trust me. One of these days you'll probably be able to lift me right up off the floor."
"You'd like that. Then you can be super lazy and I can carry you around everywhere." Jared grinned and spun toward Jensen, looping arms around his middle and drawing him close to kiss him softly.
"That is my evil master plan," Jensen murmured, grinning against Jared lips before deepening the kiss.
-=-
There was the very real possibility that Jared shouldn't be here. He'd discussed it with one of his closest friends and she'd insisted that there was nothing dangerous about going to get a coffee with the ex-boyfriend that still owned a piece of your heart. After all, it had been years and years and Jared had moved on. Right? Except for the way his break up with Jensen hurt more than his break up with Greg - a man he'd been dating for almost seven years.
Just that little thing. That and it was fifteen minutes past the hour and Jensen wasn't there yet. Jared wasn't sure he could handle being stood up.
"God, sorry, I know I'm ridiculously late." Jensen dropped into the seat across from Jared and smiled apologetically. "Fiona didn't want to be left with her mom- um. You probably don't want to hear about my child. Sorry."
Jared smiled and hoped the last of his anxiety wasn't clear on his face. Deep down he knew Jensen wasn't an asshole, he wouldn't have just not shown up but... Jared was still a little too in touch with his fifteen year old self. "It's okay, about both things. I guess um, things with you and her mom are...?"
Let Jensen fill in the blank, Jared had driven himself crazy trying to guess Jensen's situation now.
"We've been divorced for three years now but Fi, she just doesn't always get it. She wants me there all the time and that just can't happen." Jensen blew out a breath that sounded a little pained and Jared contemplated just how much this man had changed.
All his memories of Jensen - minus that horrible last one - involved endless smiles and always bright shining eyes. Jensen used to be so carefree and happy and amazing and Jared had to stop to consider whether this was even worth it. Did he really want to change the image he carried with him of that first love that all the others would always be compared to?
"I didn't think you'd get married." Jared looked away because this was like confessing that idealistic snapshot he'd always held close. "I mean, I thought you liked... well, we were... well you know."
"Together?" Jensen provided and Jared had to risk a glance over to make sure Jensen wasn't freaking out. Like that time they'd been in a diner and Jared had taken his hand and Jensen had wigged and fled. "We were. But I… I'm not sure if you remember, how I used to make us hide. Because it took a very, very long time to be okay with myself and who I liked. I used to think- ah never mind, forget it."
Jared cleared his throat, shifted forward, leaned back and finally managed to speak. "No, what? What did you think?"
That wry smile on Jensen's lips was familiar too and Jared wanted to reach out to touch his chin like he might have done once upon a time. "If I'd figured it out and accepted it when I was younger than maybe we would have had a chance. I never forgot about you, not when I got married or had a kid or got divorced. I'm sure you must be- well your life has probably been amazing. I always thought you'd be something great."
"Not so great." Jared shrugged, rubbing at the blush on his cheeks before sliding his fingers back through his hair. "I've got a good job I guess, got some good friends. But there's been some not so amazing things. My partner of seven years cheated on me, that wasn't so great. But I think I'd never really gotten over the first guy to steal my heart so maybe I deserved it."
Jensen sat in silence for so long Jared was afraid to look up. When he did though, the man was smiling and shaking his head. "Look at us. Over thirty years old and commiserating over frappucinos."
"Speak for yourself! I am twenty nine, thank you very much." Jared scrunched his face up then laughed, scooting closer to let his leg rest against Jensen's. It was full of hope and possibility and maybe all those things Jared had always prayed would come his way. "So now... now you're okay with yourself? Honest about who you are I mean?"
"I've admitted that I'm gay, if that's what you're referring to." Jensen wet his lips and Jared could feel the firm press of their calves settling against each other. "Came out to family and friends. Now I'm just trying to figure out how to date, guys no less, after all these years."
"And so, maybe, if I asked you out?" Jared stared down at his coffee finding a strange comfort in the mocha-creaminess.
Until of course Jensen's hand extended across the table and rested over his. "I would say yes. Absolutely. And this time, it'll be better."
Jared twisted his fingers to thread through Jensen's and didn't tell him how last time was absolutely perfect. They'd get there.
-=-
"Hey! Come dance with me!"
Jared peered through the downpour of rain, spotting the boy who'd called to him out in the middle of the street, spinning around with his arms up and his head tipped back. There were about a million reasons Jared should pretend he hadn't heard anything and go inside but it took only seconds and a bright grin for Jared to forget them all.
He ran out into the rain and lifted his own arms, joining in the dance to the imaginary melody. He didn't know this boy - who grabbed his hands and spun him around and laughed and laughed for far too long. But Jared's heart was racing and his clothes were soaked and he wanted this moment to last forever.
"I'm Jared!" He called over the loud echoing splatter of rain drops.
They stopped spinning and the boy worked his fingers between Jared's, giving him that same bright grin that had coaxed Jared out here in the first place. It was enough to make his heart stop and start in some quick out of crazy race. It felt like he'd just opened the door to some marvelous brand new world and Jared wanted to make his home there and never leave.
"I'm Jensen. Wanna keep dancing with me?"
Jared really did.
-Fin