Toy Shop of Doom. The story.

[masteroftoys]

Based off the Toyshop of doom RP, here is the forst part.
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The night was young and the air was cool on the mid September night when a small group of people were walking along the street into the rundown area of the city. They were in their late teens, and their second year of collage. The area was mostly vacant, with the exception of the

Comments

[anonymous]

This story didn't grab me as much as your others, though it wasn't because of the way the story went or the transformations. Those were both executed well. And I generally liked the toys all the people were turned into. Ventriloquist dummies and stuffed bears aren't seen very often, and Kelsey's doll form is bizarre, but works.

The reason that I didn't get enamored with this story was mostly because I like legs, and more specifically, I like tights, which seem to be in short supply in your story.

The other thing that detracted from your story was that you had five characters to describe and transform. I think the story would have been tighter overall with just three, so we could become more attached to characters and transform alongside them.

--EL_Refresho

[masteroftoys]

Well Janet at the moment is in the form of a rather shaply dummy. She and Davis are talked about more in the next part.

And I get your point about cutting back the characters, but I Really wanted a (somewhat)large group of people. Reasons will be revealed in later instalments. :D

[anonymous]

Honestly, after reading the next part, I think you can handle five characters, especially if you focus on one or two as main characters and develop the story around their adventures as a doll.