So I was tied with another user on a poll regarding a writing challenge, and I got this topic for my new tie-breaker entry: 'The moment of truth'This is my take on the topic
( Read more... )
I like how psychological this is, a glimpse into a very scattered mind. The stream-of-consciousness works really well for the material.
-- I had always imagined that this whole universe was like one of those glass balls with snow in them that you would buy for Christmas. Give it a shake, and snow would float about inside the glass walls. Or planets. Now someone had put black duct tape over the glass orb, pricking small holes in the tape to let the mysterious light from an unknown and bigger world shine through... which we called stars. --
This image is really well-done, very nice.
It was a little hard to read, because the paragraphs kind of run into one another - you might want to put an extra space between them to break up the flow a little bit.
Thank you!! Yea, I can see what you mean about the paragraphs - I just couldn't figure out where to put them, because it is as you say a kind of 'flow of consciousness'.... I didn't know where to put in spaces, to be honest. LOL. Thank you so much for the feedback.
Comments 2
-- I had always imagined that this whole universe was like one of those glass balls with snow in them that you would buy for Christmas. Give it a shake, and snow would float about inside the glass walls. Or planets. Now someone had put black duct tape over the glass orb, pricking small holes in the tape to let the mysterious light from an unknown and bigger world shine through... which we called stars. --
This image is really well-done, very nice.
It was a little hard to read, because the paragraphs kind of run into one another - you might want to put an extra space between them to break up the flow a little bit.
Reply
Thank you so much for the feedback.
Reply
Leave a comment