7th side [accidental video]

[masukukunai]

[The feed flickers on, immediately showing Yousuke's troubled face. He looks confused and frightened, and anyone who knows him knows just how uncharacteristic this is. He's feeling at the back of his head obsessively, between holding a hand on his chest to feel his own heartbeat. Several times he closes his eyes and takes deep breaths. This whole

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[eatsyourscience]

[For the first time in several days, Souji's asleep. Not that he chose a comfortable position: sitting on the floor with his back against the side of Yousuke's bed, and his sword propped against his shoulder with his head, in turn, propped against the sword's hilt.

He can't have been too deeply asleep, though, because he jerks when Yousuke speaks and looks up, bleary-eyed.]

[eatsyourscience]

No.

[He doesn't specify which question he's answering, and it's a minute before he adds:] He died.

[masukukunai]

[It's strange. The guy who killed him with a smile on his face died too. He wasn't invincible. Why couldn't he fend him off himself? Maybe if he had just one more second, this wouldn't have...]

...Did you?

[eatsyourscience]

...Yeah. [Souji looks away. He killed someone and he can't look his best friend in the face while he admits it.]

[masukukunai]

[Yousuke looks down. That's an even more unsettling thought.]

It's okay. You were just defending yourself.

[Right?]

[eatsyourscience]

[Souji's silence is probably very telling.]

[masukukunai]

[For once, Yousuke knows exactly what he means.]

[And he knows. He knows. When they found Namatame, his blood boiled. When they found he was going to get off scot free, he was completely ready to murder the man. Seriously ready to end someone's life. And he hadn't even seen him do the duty. It was something he thought about often. The fact that he had that inside of him scared him sometimes.]

[And Souji had actually gone through with it.]

I know... [And he already feels like a liar, saying these words.] I know what that feels like.

[eatsyourscience]

[Souji looks at him again.]

...You know what it feels like to want to.

[masukukunai]

Yeah. That.

[He puts his hand on Souji's shoulder.]

If I saw him kill Saki, I would have strangled him with my bare hands.

[eatsyourscience]

...Thanks.

[masukukunai]

[He smiles lopsidedly, like it hurts to do.]

...I'm sorry you had to see that.

[eatsyourscience]

[Souji reaches up and puts his hand over Yousuke's for a minute.]

I should have been faster.

[masukukunai]

[He shakes his head.]

I heard you pounding on that door. That must've hurt.

[eatsyourscience]

It was Sraosha.

[masukukunai]

Yeah, and when Chie kicked Jiraiya in the nuts, I still felt it.

[eatsyourscience]

[He narrows one eye in a Souji version of a sympathetic wince.]

It didn't matter.