Because you live
Title: Because you live
Author: MatsuAurore
Pairing: Juntoshi
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Au, romance, fluff, drama
Summary: When the fate is taking away the most important person of your life, what should you do? When there is only a big deep hole in your heart, what the solution is? Is it to die or is it to live?
Disclaimer: Currently, I like writing one shot about a song xD this song is very important to me because it helped me when I felt very sad, thank you to Jesse Mc Cartney lol.
Again, I changed a bit the lyrics (girl>boy)
Staring out at the rain with a heavy heart
It's the end of the world in my mind
Then your voice pulls me back like a wake up call
I've been looking for the answer
Somewhere
I couldn't see that it was right there
But now I know what I didn't know
Jun looked at the water's drop falling down his face from the big dark clouds in the sky. He never thought he would like this kind of weather in his life. His tears were rolling down his cheeks but nobody could see it because of the rain falling roughly on his body. A nervous laugh left his throat. It was over. Kazu was gone and would never come back again. You couldn't beat the death but just face your fate. Sadness and pain were eating Jun's heart. What could he do, now? His life was over at the second Kazunari closed his eyes forever. It hurt. It hurt so damn much but despite his wishes, Jun couldn't stop it. Why does life was so unfair?! Why does the fate was always destroying him?!
"Kazu..." Jun sobbed, falling on his knees in the middle of the street. "Kazu..." Jun kept repeating again and again.
Soon, Jun was completely wet, rain rolling down every parts of his body. His heart was screaming in pain, his mind was asking "why" but the storm only came as an answer.
Still crying, Jun stood up and walked toward the road where, despite the weather, there was lots of traffic. The young actor took a deep breath and, looking a last time at the sky, crossed the road.
"Wait for me, Kazu." Jun whispered, closing his eyes.
A car arrived at the same time. At the same time, a big flash appeared in the sky. At the same time, a voice screamed. At the same time, Jun's body fell on the ground in a loud noise.
It was over. His pain was over...
****
Jun opened his eyes, hearing a voice next to him. A deep and beautiful voice.
"K-zu?" Jun moaned painfully.
"Matsumoto-san?!" The voice repeated.
"Kazu?" Jun whimpered.
"He is coming back!" The voice exclaimed in relief.
"It's a miracle!" A woman sighed.
"Matsumoto-san, do you hear me?" The voice asked.
"Wh-at's hap-pen?" Jun whined, opening his eyes.
"You had an accident, we almost lost you but you fought, welcome back to earth!" The man smiled kindly despite the worried look on his chubby face.
"Whe-re am-I?"
"At the hospital but you need to sleep for the moment." The doctor said and soon, Jun felt his eyes heavy and fell asleep.
A noise woke him up and Jun opened his eyes slowly.
"Ah, you're awake, Matsumoto-san."
"Who are you?" Jun moaned, his head aching like hell.
"Oh, sorry, I'm your doctor Ohno Satoshi." The chubby man smiled kindly.
"Why am I alive?" Jun frowned.
"Because you threw yourself under a car in front of me and luckily, I knew what to do if not, you would be dead." Ohno said in a neutral tone.
"Why?" Jun whispered, tears rolling down his cheeks.
"What?" Ohno raised his eyebrows but Jun looked away.
Jun slowly recovered but not his heart and his mind. He was staying every day on a chair next to the window, looking at the sky with sad eyes. Ohno tried to make him smile, to wake him up but the younger never reacted.
"Jun..." Ohno sat next to Jun who didn't answer. "Why did you do that?"
"Because I wanted to die." Jun's voice snapped for the first time in three weeks.
"Why?"
"Because life stole me everything I had." Jun whispered, silent tears rolling down his cheeks.
"And you think what you did was the only way to resolve that?"
"Yes. My life stopped at the second my Kazunari died."
"And don't you think maybe he would be angry if he saw you like that?"
"I..."
"I know what losing someone is. I know what it is when there only is a deep hole in your heart and when sadness and pain are the last things here." Ohno put his hand on Jun's chest, at the place of his heart. "But you have to know one thing. Even if you think there is only darkness waiting for you, don't forget there are still good things waiting for you on this earth."
"And what are they?!" Jun snapped.
"Friends, family, laughs and smiles. Don't forget you'll never be alone."
"I haven't any family."
"Maybe. But you still can meet someone who will help you to move on. Someone who will try everything he can to make you smile again. What doesn't kill you make you stronger." Ohno said softly before leaving.
Jun looked at the closed door for a while. Does Ohno was right? Is there something on this fucking earth that will make him smile again?
Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, boy
My world has twice as many stars in the sky
It's alright, I survived, I'm alive again
Cuz of you, made it through every storm
What is life, what's the use if you're killing time
I'm so glad I found an angel
Someone
Who was there when all my hopes fell
I wanna fly, looking in your eyes
Jun bursted out laughing, making Ohno pout.
"You're nasty." Ohno pouted cutely but joy was shining in his eyes when he saw Jun laughing.
"Gomen gomen, Toshi but your face was so funny." Jun laughed.
"I'm glad." Ohno smiled.
"Eh?" Jun raised his eyebrows.
"It's the first time in six months I'm seeing you smiling and laughing." Ohno grinned.
"I..."
"I told you there still was something that could make you smile again." Ohno cut Jun off.
Jun didn't answer, Kazunari's face appearing for a second in his mind. The young actor looked away, his smile disappearing.
"Aiba-san will arrive in five minutes." Ohno said and left the bedroom.
A happy smile spread the doctor's lips. He was proud. After six tough months, Jun had smiled again and was seeing him as his friend. It took him so many days, so many hours to break this wall between Jun and the world but now, the doctor knew the younger was on the good way. Ohno sighed deeply, collapsing on the sofa of the room.
"Tired?"
"Yes." Ohno lied, stroking his temple.
"Or is it because of a certain patient?" Sho smirked.
"I don't know what you mean." Ohno looked at him with "innocent" eyes.
"Oh c'mon, I know you're in love with him." Sho rolled his eyes.
"I..." Ohno stopped, blushing deeply.
"He makes you remember yourself." Sho smiled.
"Yes. But I don't know if he'll be fine when he'll leave the hospital." Ohno sighed, his chin in his hands.
"I can't help you this time, Satoshi but don't make him believe things that don't exist." Sho patted his friend's shoulder before leaving.
"I know." Ohno whispered, laying down on the sofa, his head on his crossed arms.
Sho was right. At the second he had seen Jun, the doctor fell in love with him. At the second he had seen these beautiful tears on Jun's cheeks, Ohno knew he was in love. It was him who had pushed Jun away when the car was about to crash into him. When he had seen the younger crossing the road, his only thought was "no, not him!".
The pain shining in Jun's eyes was attracting him. It made him remember himself seven years ago when Kei died in this plane. He understood better than no one else what the actor was feeling. This emptiness, this sadness and this darkness eating your life and your heart. Now, he had found someone who was counting for him. Now, he could fight to give happiness back to this person.
"Good morning, Jun-kun!" Ohno exclaimed happily.
"Good morning, sensei." Jun smiled slightly.
"How do you feel today?" The doctor asked, opening Jun's shirt to check his injury and his heart.
"Better." Jun answered, shivering under Ohno's hands.
"Your injury looks better." Ohno nodded, his heart beating faster when his fingers brushed Jun's white and soft skin.
"Your hands are beautiful..." Jun whispered.
"What?"
"I mean... I like your fingers. They are long and soft and..." Jun stopped, blushing.
"I'm glad you like it. I also like my hands when I save a life." Ohno chuckled, stroking Jun's skin who froze. "Hum. Would you like to go out, I have some free time."
"But..."
"Come on, you're as pale as my butt." Ohno teased.
"Eh?! What an impolite sensei I have!" Jun exclaimed with a smile.
"Sorry." Ohno blushed.
"It's okay. Now, I know your butt is very white." Jun smirked, making them laugh loudly.
"Hop. Some fresh air won't harm you." Ohno helped him to sit on his wheelchair and led him on the roof.
"The sky is beautiful." Jun whispered, looking at the sunset.
"Yay. I like to come here when I need to be alone." The older nodded. They stayed silent, looking at the horizon.
"Thank you." Jun whispered after a while.
"What for?"
"For trying to make me move on. I know you want to make me believe and hope again. I can't say I haven't this pain and this hole in my heart but I feel lighter. I promise I'll try to move on when I'll leave this hospital." Jun looked at Ohno right into his eyes.
"I..." But Jun cut Ohno off, kissing him shyly.
"Sorry." Jun immediately looked away but Ohno put his hand on his cheek.
"I'm not sorry." Ohno smiled and kissed Jun softly for a while before the younger grabbed his nape to deepen the kiss. The doctor sat on Jun's lap and wrapped his arms around his neck without breaking their kiss. It felt so good, so natural. Jun stroked the older's cheek, his hand traveling in his black hair before going down on his back to tighten his grip and press their bodies even more. When they broke apart, Ohno's eyes were shining happily and the doctor brought Jun back to his bedroom with a beautiful smile on his lips.
They kissed a last time before Ohno left the bedroom.
Jun's head fell on the pillow. Why does his heart was beating so fast? Why does it felt so good when Ohno kissed him? Jun touched his lips thoughtfully.
Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, boy
My world has twice as many stars in the sky
Because you live, I live"Good morning, Jun-kun." Ohno exclaimed when he entered in Jun's bedroom.
"Good morning, Satoshi." Jun grinned when the doctor walked toward him and kissed his lips.
"How do you feel, today?" Ohno stroked Jun's cheek before the younger lifted his body and took his shirt off.
"Hum, good, I guess."
"Hun." But Ohno frowned.
"What?!" Jun asked, worried.
"Hun..."
"Satoshi, what's wrong?!" Jun panicked.
"It's weird..." Ohno mumbled.
"What? What's happen?!" Jun gripped Ohno's shirt.
"I don't know why but when I'm touching you here, there is a loud noise." Ohno said, touching Jun's chest at the place of his heart with a slight smile.
"Baka! You scared me!" Jun laughed, pushing Ohno on the bed and kissed him roughly.
"Your face was so funny." Ohno chuckled.
"You deserve a punition." Jun pushed the bangs away of Ohno's forehead who smiled happily.
"I'm your doctor, you can't punish me." Ohno chuckled.
"Humm, don't underestimate my will." Jun grinned, pecking Ohno's lips.
"Of course but you'll have to wait because I have a surgery." Ohno laughed, standing up.
Because you live there's a reason why
I carry on when I lose the fight
I want to give what you've given me always
Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, boy
My world has twice as many stars in the sky
Ohno sat next to his friend with a happy smile on his face.
"Something good happened?" Sho asked, his mouth full of food.
"Hmm." Ohno grinned.
"You, you are dating Matsumoto." Sho smirked.
"Maybe." Ohno blushed.
"I'm happy for you." Sho patted his shoulder.
"Thanks."
Ohno took his notebook and walked toward Jun's bedroom. But the doctor froze when he opened the door and saw Aiba and Jun kissing. The older closed the door silently, tears rolling down his cheeks.
****
"Something's wrong?" Jun asked the day after when Ohno entered in his bedroom.
"No." Ohno said coldly, checking his heart.
"Why didn't you..."
"You can leave the hospital this afternoon." Ohno cut him off.
"What?" Jun opened his eyes wide.
"Your health is perfect so, you can leave." Ohno replied before standing up.
"Wait. Satoshi, what’s wrong?" Jun grabbed Ohno's arm.
"Nothing."
"Satoshi, tell me." Jun blinked when Ohno looked at him, tears shining in his eyes.
"I saw you." Ohno whispered.
"You saw what?!"
"I saw you kissing Aiba."
"Wait, I didn't..."
"No. It's okay. I understand. Good luck, Jun." Ohno smiled sadly before leaving.
"Satoshi!" Jun called with despair.
When Jun left the hospital, Ohno avoided him. The younger walked outside without knowing where to go. Again, he felt empty. Again, this darkness was eating his heart.
Jun walked to his apartment and sat on his sofa, looking at the gap in front of him. It was as ten months ago. As when Kazu died.
****
"Are you sure they were kissing?" Sho asked.
"I saw them, Sho-chan!" Ohno replied.
"Maybe it wasn't as it looked like." The younger tried.
"And what was it in that case?" Ohno snapped before leaving the room.
Sho sighed. He was sure there was a mistake. The doctor looked at the paper in his hands and left the hospital quickly.
"Hai?" Jun opened his door and blinked, seeing Sho in front of him.
"Matsumoto-kun? I'm Sakurai Sho..."
"I know who you are. What do you want?" Jun asked while Sho was taking his shoes off.
"I came because of Satoshi." Jun froze, his hand on the fridge.
"And?"
"He told me for the kiss."
"I don't understand what you want." Jun replied.
"Satoshi is my best friend, I want him to be happy. For the first time in seven years, he seemed truly happy and I thought you had some feelings for him."
"I do." Jun said.
"And why did you kiss another man if you have some feelings for him?"
"I didn't kiss Masaki. He was telling me his boyfriend asked him to marry him." Jun explained.
"And that's why you kissed him."
"No. But Aiba is a special guy. I know him since we are five years old and we are very close. This day, he was so happy that he kissed me, he often did that when we were younger." Jun mumbled.
"Your friend is weird."
"I know, I tried to explain to Satoshi but he didn't listen to me. I really have feelings for him."
"So. And how are you feeling?"
"I'm trying to move on and forget."
When Sho left, Jun looked at the picture in his hands.
"I'm sorry, Kazu. I've tried." Jun whispered, a tear rolling down his cheek.
Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, boy
My world has everything I need to survive
Jun looked at the water's drop falling on his face from the big dark clouds in the sky. He never thought he would like this kind of weather in his life. His tears were rolling down his cheeks but nobody could see it because of the rain falling roughly on his body. A nervous laugh left his throat. There was like a feeling of déjà vu, as ten months ago when he made his suicide attempt.
Jun looked at the road and made a step.
"Jun!!!" The actor jumped and turned his head to see Ohno running toward him.
"Satoshi?"
"What were you doing?! You promised me to move on!"
"I..."
"You promised! You..." Ohno gripped his shirt, crying.
"Satoshi!" Jun shook his friend.
"What?"
"I wasn't going to kill myself." Jun said.
"But..."
"I.wasn't.going.to.kill.myself." Jun repeated, cupping Ohno's face. "I love you, Satoshi."
"What?"
"I love you. You saved me this day, you proved to me I had a reason to live. You're the only one who made me smile and wanted to live despite Kazu's death." Jun stroked Ohno's cheek with the back of his hand. Satoshi grinned and, wrapping his arms around the younger's neck, smacked their lips together.
"For Masaki..." But Ohno put his finger on his mouth.
"I know. Sho told me everything. I'm sorry for not listening to you. I love you too." Ohno smiled. Jun hugged him tightly and brought their mouths in a deep kiss.
"Stay with me, don't leave me, I need you." Jun whispered between their lips.
"Never." Ohno grinned and buried his face in the younger's neck, the rain rolling down their bodies but they didn't care, they were alive.
Because you live, I live, I live
Owari *~*
A/N: Ano, sorry for this super fluffy end but I felt like it xD I don't know why but actually, I need fluffy Juntoshi because they're so cute together. Maybe this one shot was useless but I wanted to write it xD Next time it will be a one shot Sakuraiba and Matsumiya ^.^
Author: MatsuAurore
Pairing: Juntoshi
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Au, romance, fluff, drama
Summary: When the fate is taking away the most important person of your life, what should you do? When there is only a big deep hole in your heart, what the solution is? Is it to die or is it to live?
Disclaimer: Currently, I like writing one shot about a song xD this song is very important to me because it helped me when I felt very sad, thank you to Jesse Mc Cartney lol.
Again, I changed a bit the lyrics (girl>boy)
Staring out at the rain with a heavy heart
It's the end of the world in my mind
Then your voice pulls me back like a wake up call
I've been looking for the answer
Somewhere
I couldn't see that it was right there
But now I know what I didn't know
Jun looked at the water's drop falling down his face from the big dark clouds in the sky. He never thought he would like this kind of weather in his life. His tears were rolling down his cheeks but nobody could see it because of the rain falling roughly on his body. A nervous laugh left his throat. It was over. Kazu was gone and would never come back again. You couldn't beat the death but just face your fate. Sadness and pain were eating Jun's heart. What could he do, now? His life was over at the second Kazunari closed his eyes forever. It hurt. It hurt so damn much but despite his wishes, Jun couldn't stop it. Why does life was so unfair?! Why does the fate was always destroying him?!
"Kazu..." Jun sobbed, falling on his knees in the middle of the street. "Kazu..." Jun kept repeating again and again.
Soon, Jun was completely wet, rain rolling down every parts of his body. His heart was screaming in pain, his mind was asking "why" but the storm only came as an answer.
Still crying, Jun stood up and walked toward the road where, despite the weather, there was lots of traffic. The young actor took a deep breath and, looking a last time at the sky, crossed the road.
"Wait for me, Kazu." Jun whispered, closing his eyes.
A car arrived at the same time. At the same time, a big flash appeared in the sky. At the same time, a voice screamed. At the same time, Jun's body fell on the ground in a loud noise.
It was over. His pain was over...
****
Jun opened his eyes, hearing a voice next to him. A deep and beautiful voice.
"K-zu?" Jun moaned painfully.
"Matsumoto-san?!" The voice repeated.
"Kazu?" Jun whimpered.
"He is coming back!" The voice exclaimed in relief.
"It's a miracle!" A woman sighed.
"Matsumoto-san, do you hear me?" The voice asked.
"Wh-at's hap-pen?" Jun whined, opening his eyes.
"You had an accident, we almost lost you but you fought, welcome back to earth!" The man smiled kindly despite the worried look on his chubby face.
"Whe-re am-I?"
"At the hospital but you need to sleep for the moment." The doctor said and soon, Jun felt his eyes heavy and fell asleep.
A noise woke him up and Jun opened his eyes slowly.
"Ah, you're awake, Matsumoto-san."
"Who are you?" Jun moaned, his head aching like hell.
"Oh, sorry, I'm your doctor Ohno Satoshi." The chubby man smiled kindly.
"Why am I alive?" Jun frowned.
"Because you threw yourself under a car in front of me and luckily, I knew what to do if not, you would be dead." Ohno said in a neutral tone.
"Why?" Jun whispered, tears rolling down his cheeks.
"What?" Ohno raised his eyebrows but Jun looked away.
Jun slowly recovered but not his heart and his mind. He was staying every day on a chair next to the window, looking at the sky with sad eyes. Ohno tried to make him smile, to wake him up but the younger never reacted.
"Jun..." Ohno sat next to Jun who didn't answer. "Why did you do that?"
"Because I wanted to die." Jun's voice snapped for the first time in three weeks.
"Why?"
"Because life stole me everything I had." Jun whispered, silent tears rolling down his cheeks.
"And you think what you did was the only way to resolve that?"
"Yes. My life stopped at the second my Kazunari died."
"And don't you think maybe he would be angry if he saw you like that?"
"I..."
"I know what losing someone is. I know what it is when there only is a deep hole in your heart and when sadness and pain are the last things here." Ohno put his hand on Jun's chest, at the place of his heart. "But you have to know one thing. Even if you think there is only darkness waiting for you, don't forget there are still good things waiting for you on this earth."
"And what are they?!" Jun snapped.
"Friends, family, laughs and smiles. Don't forget you'll never be alone."
"I haven't any family."
"Maybe. But you still can meet someone who will help you to move on. Someone who will try everything he can to make you smile again. What doesn't kill you make you stronger." Ohno said softly before leaving.
Jun looked at the closed door for a while. Does Ohno was right? Is there something on this fucking earth that will make him smile again?
Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, boy
My world has twice as many stars in the sky
It's alright, I survived, I'm alive again
Cuz of you, made it through every storm
What is life, what's the use if you're killing time
I'm so glad I found an angel
Someone
Who was there when all my hopes fell
I wanna fly, looking in your eyes
Jun bursted out laughing, making Ohno pout.
"You're nasty." Ohno pouted cutely but joy was shining in his eyes when he saw Jun laughing.
"Gomen gomen, Toshi but your face was so funny." Jun laughed.
"I'm glad." Ohno smiled.
"Eh?" Jun raised his eyebrows.
"It's the first time in six months I'm seeing you smiling and laughing." Ohno grinned.
"I..."
"I told you there still was something that could make you smile again." Ohno cut Jun off.
Jun didn't answer, Kazunari's face appearing for a second in his mind. The young actor looked away, his smile disappearing.
"Aiba-san will arrive in five minutes." Ohno said and left the bedroom.
A happy smile spread the doctor's lips. He was proud. After six tough months, Jun had smiled again and was seeing him as his friend. It took him so many days, so many hours to break this wall between Jun and the world but now, the doctor knew the younger was on the good way. Ohno sighed deeply, collapsing on the sofa of the room.
"Tired?"
"Yes." Ohno lied, stroking his temple.
"Or is it because of a certain patient?" Sho smirked.
"I don't know what you mean." Ohno looked at him with "innocent" eyes.
"Oh c'mon, I know you're in love with him." Sho rolled his eyes.
"I..." Ohno stopped, blushing deeply.
"He makes you remember yourself." Sho smiled.
"Yes. But I don't know if he'll be fine when he'll leave the hospital." Ohno sighed, his chin in his hands.
"I can't help you this time, Satoshi but don't make him believe things that don't exist." Sho patted his friend's shoulder before leaving.
"I know." Ohno whispered, laying down on the sofa, his head on his crossed arms.
Sho was right. At the second he had seen Jun, the doctor fell in love with him. At the second he had seen these beautiful tears on Jun's cheeks, Ohno knew he was in love. It was him who had pushed Jun away when the car was about to crash into him. When he had seen the younger crossing the road, his only thought was "no, not him!".
The pain shining in Jun's eyes was attracting him. It made him remember himself seven years ago when Kei died in this plane. He understood better than no one else what the actor was feeling. This emptiness, this sadness and this darkness eating your life and your heart. Now, he had found someone who was counting for him. Now, he could fight to give happiness back to this person.
"Good morning, Jun-kun!" Ohno exclaimed happily.
"Good morning, sensei." Jun smiled slightly.
"How do you feel today?" The doctor asked, opening Jun's shirt to check his injury and his heart.
"Better." Jun answered, shivering under Ohno's hands.
"Your injury looks better." Ohno nodded, his heart beating faster when his fingers brushed Jun's white and soft skin.
"Your hands are beautiful..." Jun whispered.
"What?"
"I mean... I like your fingers. They are long and soft and..." Jun stopped, blushing.
"I'm glad you like it. I also like my hands when I save a life." Ohno chuckled, stroking Jun's skin who froze. "Hum. Would you like to go out, I have some free time."
"But..."
"Come on, you're as pale as my butt." Ohno teased.
"Eh?! What an impolite sensei I have!" Jun exclaimed with a smile.
"Sorry." Ohno blushed.
"It's okay. Now, I know your butt is very white." Jun smirked, making them laugh loudly.
"Hop. Some fresh air won't harm you." Ohno helped him to sit on his wheelchair and led him on the roof.
"The sky is beautiful." Jun whispered, looking at the sunset.
"Yay. I like to come here when I need to be alone." The older nodded. They stayed silent, looking at the horizon.
"Thank you." Jun whispered after a while.
"What for?"
"For trying to make me move on. I know you want to make me believe and hope again. I can't say I haven't this pain and this hole in my heart but I feel lighter. I promise I'll try to move on when I'll leave this hospital." Jun looked at Ohno right into his eyes.
"I..." But Jun cut Ohno off, kissing him shyly.
"Sorry." Jun immediately looked away but Ohno put his hand on his cheek.
"I'm not sorry." Ohno smiled and kissed Jun softly for a while before the younger grabbed his nape to deepen the kiss. The doctor sat on Jun's lap and wrapped his arms around his neck without breaking their kiss. It felt so good, so natural. Jun stroked the older's cheek, his hand traveling in his black hair before going down on his back to tighten his grip and press their bodies even more. When they broke apart, Ohno's eyes were shining happily and the doctor brought Jun back to his bedroom with a beautiful smile on his lips.
They kissed a last time before Ohno left the bedroom.
Jun's head fell on the pillow. Why does his heart was beating so fast? Why does it felt so good when Ohno kissed him? Jun touched his lips thoughtfully.
Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, boy
My world has twice as many stars in the sky
Because you live, I live"Good morning, Jun-kun." Ohno exclaimed when he entered in Jun's bedroom.
"Good morning, Satoshi." Jun grinned when the doctor walked toward him and kissed his lips.
"How do you feel, today?" Ohno stroked Jun's cheek before the younger lifted his body and took his shirt off.
"Hum, good, I guess."
"Hun." But Ohno frowned.
"What?!" Jun asked, worried.
"Hun..."
"Satoshi, what's wrong?!" Jun panicked.
"It's weird..." Ohno mumbled.
"What? What's happen?!" Jun gripped Ohno's shirt.
"I don't know why but when I'm touching you here, there is a loud noise." Ohno said, touching Jun's chest at the place of his heart with a slight smile.
"Baka! You scared me!" Jun laughed, pushing Ohno on the bed and kissed him roughly.
"Your face was so funny." Ohno chuckled.
"You deserve a punition." Jun pushed the bangs away of Ohno's forehead who smiled happily.
"I'm your doctor, you can't punish me." Ohno chuckled.
"Humm, don't underestimate my will." Jun grinned, pecking Ohno's lips.
"Of course but you'll have to wait because I have a surgery." Ohno laughed, standing up.
Because you live there's a reason why
I carry on when I lose the fight
I want to give what you've given me always
Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, boy
My world has twice as many stars in the sky
Ohno sat next to his friend with a happy smile on his face.
"Something good happened?" Sho asked, his mouth full of food.
"Hmm." Ohno grinned.
"You, you are dating Matsumoto." Sho smirked.
"Maybe." Ohno blushed.
"I'm happy for you." Sho patted his shoulder.
"Thanks."
Ohno took his notebook and walked toward Jun's bedroom. But the doctor froze when he opened the door and saw Aiba and Jun kissing. The older closed the door silently, tears rolling down his cheeks.
****
"Something's wrong?" Jun asked the day after when Ohno entered in his bedroom.
"No." Ohno said coldly, checking his heart.
"Why didn't you..."
"You can leave the hospital this afternoon." Ohno cut him off.
"What?" Jun opened his eyes wide.
"Your health is perfect so, you can leave." Ohno replied before standing up.
"Wait. Satoshi, what’s wrong?" Jun grabbed Ohno's arm.
"Nothing."
"Satoshi, tell me." Jun blinked when Ohno looked at him, tears shining in his eyes.
"I saw you." Ohno whispered.
"You saw what?!"
"I saw you kissing Aiba."
"Wait, I didn't..."
"No. It's okay. I understand. Good luck, Jun." Ohno smiled sadly before leaving.
"Satoshi!" Jun called with despair.
When Jun left the hospital, Ohno avoided him. The younger walked outside without knowing where to go. Again, he felt empty. Again, this darkness was eating his heart.
Jun walked to his apartment and sat on his sofa, looking at the gap in front of him. It was as ten months ago. As when Kazu died.
****
"Are you sure they were kissing?" Sho asked.
"I saw them, Sho-chan!" Ohno replied.
"Maybe it wasn't as it looked like." The younger tried.
"And what was it in that case?" Ohno snapped before leaving the room.
Sho sighed. He was sure there was a mistake. The doctor looked at the paper in his hands and left the hospital quickly.
"Hai?" Jun opened his door and blinked, seeing Sho in front of him.
"Matsumoto-kun? I'm Sakurai Sho..."
"I know who you are. What do you want?" Jun asked while Sho was taking his shoes off.
"I came because of Satoshi." Jun froze, his hand on the fridge.
"And?"
"He told me for the kiss."
"I don't understand what you want." Jun replied.
"Satoshi is my best friend, I want him to be happy. For the first time in seven years, he seemed truly happy and I thought you had some feelings for him."
"I do." Jun said.
"And why did you kiss another man if you have some feelings for him?"
"I didn't kiss Masaki. He was telling me his boyfriend asked him to marry him." Jun explained.
"And that's why you kissed him."
"No. But Aiba is a special guy. I know him since we are five years old and we are very close. This day, he was so happy that he kissed me, he often did that when we were younger." Jun mumbled.
"Your friend is weird."
"I know, I tried to explain to Satoshi but he didn't listen to me. I really have feelings for him."
"So. And how are you feeling?"
"I'm trying to move on and forget."
When Sho left, Jun looked at the picture in his hands.
"I'm sorry, Kazu. I've tried." Jun whispered, a tear rolling down his cheek.
Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, boy
My world has everything I need to survive
Jun looked at the water's drop falling on his face from the big dark clouds in the sky. He never thought he would like this kind of weather in his life. His tears were rolling down his cheeks but nobody could see it because of the rain falling roughly on his body. A nervous laugh left his throat. There was like a feeling of déjà vu, as ten months ago when he made his suicide attempt.
Jun looked at the road and made a step.
"Jun!!!" The actor jumped and turned his head to see Ohno running toward him.
"Satoshi?"
"What were you doing?! You promised me to move on!"
"I..."
"You promised! You..." Ohno gripped his shirt, crying.
"Satoshi!" Jun shook his friend.
"What?"
"I wasn't going to kill myself." Jun said.
"But..."
"I.wasn't.going.to.kill.myself." Jun repeated, cupping Ohno's face. "I love you, Satoshi."
"What?"
"I love you. You saved me this day, you proved to me I had a reason to live. You're the only one who made me smile and wanted to live despite Kazu's death." Jun stroked Ohno's cheek with the back of his hand. Satoshi grinned and, wrapping his arms around the younger's neck, smacked their lips together.
"For Masaki..." But Ohno put his finger on his mouth.
"I know. Sho told me everything. I'm sorry for not listening to you. I love you too." Ohno smiled. Jun hugged him tightly and brought their mouths in a deep kiss.
"Stay with me, don't leave me, I need you." Jun whispered between their lips.
"Never." Ohno grinned and buried his face in the younger's neck, the rain rolling down their bodies but they didn't care, they were alive.
Because you live, I live, I live
Owari *~*
A/N: Ano, sorry for this super fluffy end but I felt like it xD I don't know why but actually, I need fluffy Juntoshi because they're so cute together. Maybe this one shot was useless but I wanted to write it xD Next time it will be a one shot Sakuraiba and Matsumiya ^.^