Alive (1/?)
Title: Alive
Author: matsuaurore
Pairings: Sakumoto, Matsumiya (slight)
Genre: Au, romance, drama, angst
Rating: R
Disclaimer: They belong to me but just in my dreams T.T
Summary: He was everything to me. My joys, my pains, my life. He was my everything, my half. But what can you do when the love you feel is also the forbidden?
What can you do when you have to push away what keeps you alive?
Chapter 1:
I've always thought my life would be like my parents wanted it to be. Though, nothing happened in this way and maybe it would have been less painful if I had followed my parent's wishes but I never regretted anything because I was able to feel complete with the biggest treasure of my life.
I was 18 years old the first time it happened. I was studying economy at Keio, was dating my girlfriend for two years and had a perfect life. If you considered that boring was the definition of the word 'perfect'. Because I was just acting like my parents wanted. Like the society wanted. I really liked my studies but what I was hiding to everybody was the fact my girlfriend didn't have what I needed to love her truly. She had a hole between her legs and it was what disgusted me. Because she hadn't a cock.
I was gay.
Pretty obvious after what I've just said. I tried many times to convince myself that it was just a phase or my hormones but I gave up lying to myself the day I screamed in pleasure when I shoved my dick in Ryosuke's ass, one of my classmate. I was 16 years old then, and understood that dicks were definitely for me. Dicks and asses of course. Maybe it was the reason why I never felt any pleasure at touching a girl's breast. That's why for three years, I cheated on my girlfriend and fucked as many men as I could. So, why was I dating her for two years? To please my parents, hide the fact that their older perfect son loved to have his cock deep inside an ass and mostly because of my little brother.
My treasure.
The most important thing of my fucking annoying life.
I was 17 years old when I understood that I loved Jun more than in a brotherly way. We had always been very close as brothers. Since his birth when I was 2 years old. When I saw his tiny face, I fell in love with him without knowing it. When he was crying, I was the only one able to calm him down. I just had to take him in my arms and Jun immediately stopped to cry, making me the most beautiful smiles of the world. He was always in my arms and when I grew up, started to invade my bed to sleep but I never told my parents about this detail. They were used to our close relationship even if I had never hugged Jun in front of them.
For my parents, I was the perfect older brother who helped his baby brother with his home works, brought him to his activities or other normal things. So, they never wondered why I was so protective with Jun. Because he was mine. He belonged to me. I hated the fact we were brothers even if I had never seen him like that. For me, he was a part of myself. He was a part of my soul.
Jun grew up quickly and became even more beautiful in my eyes. He was kind, innocent, a bit too naive. Jun was always smiling and was able to make you smile even when you were in a bad mood. His dream was to become a doctor to heal people and children, he told me one day. He was just perfect in my eyes even when he made his caprices. I could give up with just one look from him. I just loved him with my whole heart.
"Nii-chan?" I opened my eyes and saw Jun in his pajamas, stroking his sleepy eyes.
"You aren't sleeping Jun?"
"I can't." Jun pouted and with a sigh, I opened the sheets and showed him to lay next to me.
"What's wrong?"
"I just can sleep in Nii-chan's arms." Jun said, sticking his body against mine.
"How will you do when I'll leave the house?"
"What?! No! I refuse you to leave without me!" Jun shouted, tears filling his eyes.
"You're ten years old, Jun, you have to act like a big boy." I sighed. Jun pushed my arm and tried to leave but I hugged him tightly.
"Marry me, Sho."
"Baka, we are brothers and we are two boys, we can't get married." I chuckled.
"I don't care, I'll marry my Sho-chan because you are mine!" I smiled tenderly, my heart tightening.
"Sleep baby." I kissed his nose and hugged him.
Jun never came again in my bed after this night.
****
I threw my bag in the entry, dreaming to take a shower after my four hours of bodybuilding. It was my hobby. I loved to practice twice per week to take care of my muscles and my body. I was sweating like ever and needed to wash now.
Climbing the stairs, I opened the bathroom's door and froze.
Jun was here, taking a shower. My eyes traveled on his naked body and I bit my lip. He was incredibly beautiful. He had the body of a 16 years old boy but his thin hips and his butt drove me crazy. He had a wonderful butt that every gay man would dream about. I wanted to take it with my hands, to stroke it and mostly, fuck it. I left the bathroom hurriedly to run in my bedroom where I collapsed on my bed, my hand slipping in my boxer. I moaned, touching myself while picturing Jun's naked body and soon, came in a loud whine.
I stared at my dirty hand with shocked. What happened to me? It was the first time I was getting hard for my little brother and it was wrong! It was forbidden! Why did I feel desire for him?! Why was I always dreaming about his lips on mine, about my member inside him, about his screams of pleasure?! Shit shit shit, I had to do something to erase these feelings! I couldn't love my own brother even if I had never seen him in this way! He was innocent, he was fragile! I had to stop this desire invading me anytime I was seeing his eyes and his smile!
"Nii-chan?" A soft knock made me jump.
"I'm busy, Jun." Yes. I had to avoid him. To ignore him until these disgusting feelings leave.
"I wanted to ask you something."
"Leave! I'm studying!" I hated myself for talking to him like that. He didn't deserve it. I buried my face in my hands and started to cry silently, wishing to erase the freak I was.
For two weeks, I avoided Jun, spending all my time at the library and locking myself in my bedroom. I was only seeing him at dinner but as there were our parents, he never tried to talk to me though, I could feel his sad eyes on me. It always broke my heart to see the sadness in his beautiful light brown eyes but I had to be strong. I had to erase my desire and love for him.
I was proud of my efforts but one day, something spoiled everything. One day, a fucking boy spoiled everything and made me give up.
I was coming home earlier to work on my exam and heard laughs from the living room. I blinked, seeing Jun on the floor, laughing as a short boy was on top of him and tickling him.
"Kazu, stop!" Jun laughed.
Who was he?! Who was this fucking brat daring to touch my baby?! I was going to kill him with my own hands!
"What's happening here?!" I snapped.
"Nii-chan?!" Jun gasped and pushed his friend away, blushing.
"Oh, this is the famous brother." The boy smirked. Who was he to talk about me like that with this arrogant face?!
"Kazu!" Jun blushed. "Nii-chan, this is Ninomiya Kazunari, my best friend. Nino, this is Sakurai Sho, my older brother."
"He is hot." Nino exclaimed, making me blush.
"Kazu!" Jun slapped his head with a frown.
"What?! I'm right. Are you gay?" Nino asked me. He really had no shame to ask this kind of question to someone he didn't know.
"No and I have a girlfriend." I replied.
"Too bad. No problem, J is pretty cute for me." Nino kissed Jun's cheek, making him giggle. What?! How did he dare touching MY Jun and making him smile or giggle stupidly?!
"Kazu is cute too." I paled. Does Jun liked him? Was he in love with him?! It couldn't be possible! Jun was mine!
"Jun won't have a boyfriend!" I snapped.
"Eh?" Jun gasped.
"Why? Are you jealous?" Nino smirked.
"I...no... I..." I blushed, realizing the meaning of my words. "Jun is too young to date someone and it's wrong to like boys."
"I'm 16 years old!" Jun pouted. "And why would it be wrong?!"
"Because a boy has to date a girl." I was so hypocrite to say that when I was in love with my own little brother but couldn't let my treasure to this brat or anyone else.
"I don't care, I like who I want!" Jun replied.
"Think about papa and mama, don't bring shame on them, it's wrong, Jun!"
"I don't care! I date who I want!"
"Shut up! You won't date Nino, end of the conversation!"
"I hate you! You're not my brother anymore!" Jun cried and left the living room.
"Jun!" I called but my brother slammed his bedroom's door.
"If I didn't know that you are brothers, I would say that you were pretty jealous and like him more than you should." Nino smirked.
"Don't be so stupid! I'm just trying to protect him!"
"Really? Then, be honest with him and your feelings instead of hurting him." Nino smiled sadly before leaving the house.
I stared at the gap, lost. What did he mean? Had he understood I was in love with Jun? What was the meaning in his eyes when he had looked at me while I was scolding Jun? Will he repeat it to someone?
Jun... My baby... My treasure... He hated me... He didn't want to be my brother...
When I joined my bedroom, I heard his sobs through the door but ignored it. I had to resist when all I wanted was to run to him and kiss him with despair to stop his tears. I clenched my fists, hitting my pillow angrily. The worst thing that could happen to me was Jun hating me. I just refused this idea.
Jun ignored me the next day, refusing to look or talk to me and killing my heart at the same time. It was our first argument in 16 years and I hated it. I hated this feeling. I hated to cross his sad and angry look.
"Sho..." My girlfriend giggled as we were entering the house, my lips devouring her neck.
"Bedroom..." I whispered.
"Your parents." She protested.
"Not here until tonight." I took her hand and led her in my bedroom where I threw her on my bed before taking our clothes off. I grabbed a condom and climbed on top of her. We had already made love several times even if getting hard for a girl when you were gay was as hard as hugging a cactus. But I needed it. I needed her. I needed to feel someone was loving me. And I mostly needed to release my pain and anger.
I slipped inside her and started to thrust roughly, not caring about her pleasure, I just wanted to calm myself down.
"Sho..." She moaned.
"Hana." I kissed her roughly, thrusting harder, sweat rolling down my chest. I suddenly raised my face and froze. Next to my door was Jun, staring at us with wide eyes. "Shit, Jun!" I screamed, waking him up and Jun left quickly. I pulled away, my hard length, now, soft.
"What was he doing here?!" Hana snapped angrily.
"I think he needed help for his home works." I lied.
"He could have knocked!"
"Maybe he did but we didn't hear."
"I think it's better if I leave." Hana grabbed her clothes, disappointed but right now, I didn't care. Jun was the only important in my eyes.
At the second she left, I ran toward Jun's bedroom and found him in a corner, his head in his knees.
"Jun?"
"Leave me alone!"
"Jun, baby, I'm sorry." I sat next to him and touched his shoulder, making him freeze.
"Sorry for disturbing when you were with your girlfriend."
"I'm not angry. In fact, I feel sad."
"Eh?" Jun raised his crying face.
"Because you've seen that."
"I'll overcome it." Jun shrugged.
"Jun, look at me." Jun raised his eyes and I cupped his face. "I'm also angry."
"I'm sorry." Tears rolled down his cheeks even more.
"Not at you but at myself."
"Why?"
"Because while I was making love to her, I was thinking about you."
"What..." I didn't let him the time to answer and kissed him. His lips were like I thought. Amazing. Soft, with a taste of strawberry. Jun didn't react, too shocked to say something, his eyes wide open.
"I love you." I whispered and caught his lips again. I tasted it fully, enjoying their warmth, their touch on mines. Soon, Jun tried to kiss me back and I smiled at his attempt. He looked like a kid who was experimenting his first kiss. I took his lower lip between my teeth to make him open his mouth and slipped my tongue inside it. I heard him moaning and slowly, made him fall on the ground and climbed on him to kiss him deeply. God it was amazing! I was getting hard just at the feeling of his lips and pulled away.
"Nii-chan?" Jun looked at me with lost eyes.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have. It's wrong." I tried to stand up but Jun gripped my shirt.
"Not when it's you."
"Eh?"
"I love Nii-chan too." Jun blushed deeply.
"Oh baby..." I moaned and without thinking more, I attacked his lips again. I lifted him in my arms and laid him on his bed to take his shirt off while kissing every part of his skin with despair. Jun was moaning loudly under me, his hands lost in my hair as I was taking my shirt off too.
"Nii-chan is so beautiful..." Jun stroked my chest with red cheeks, making me whine and I quickly took off our pants. A big smile spread my lips when I saw his hard length and I pressed my body against his, raising his legs around my waist to move.
"God, Jun... Baby... You feel so good." I gasped, stroking our members together roughly.
"Sho... Sho..." Jun kept moaning, his hips moving up and down with mine.
"Come. Come for me, baby." I whispered in his ear, feeling his body arching and his seed leaving. His hot semen between our stomachs brought me over the edge and I came with a loud moan. I kept kissing his face as if I was going to lose him before hugging him tightly.
"Sho?" Jun looked at me with these so innocent eyes of him, certainly wondering what had just happened.
"You're mine." I whispered, hugging him possessively.
"But Sho-chan, we are brothers, isn't it wrong?" Jun asked shyly, looking as if he was afraid that I would push him away after realizing he was perfectly right.
"I know. It's wrong to do that when we are brothers but..." I kissed his lips, stroking his pink cheek. "Do you hate it? Do you feel it's wrong when I'm doing that to you?" I asked worriedly. Maybe I was forcing him. Maybe I was rapping him.
"No. I like when Sho-chan kisses me. I love Sho-chan's lips." Jun blushed even more. Shit, he was so damn cute! He looked so fragile!
"Me too." I smiled. I kissed him roughly but reality hit us back when Jun started to cough violently. "Jun?! Baby, are you okay?!" I panicked.
"Y-es." Jun smiled with difficulty.
"Where is your inhalator?!"
"Here." I caught it and gave it to him. Jun took two deep puffs before calming down.
I bit my lip, feeling guilty. I should have thought about him before acting so selfishly!
It was the reason why Jun looked so fragile. Since he was 8 years old, he was suffering of a very bad asthma and had to always have his inhalator with him.
"I'm fine, Sho, I'm not a weak baby." Jun pouted cutely as I kept looking at him as if was going to die.
"I should have been more careful. We're lucky you didn't make an attack before." Jun blushed at the reference and shook his head.
"It was very nice." My heart melted when my little brother hugged me and buried his face in my neck. Shit, I was so scared to lose him! I needed him so much to survive! He was a part of myself, I wouldn't be able to live without him!
"Don't ever let this Ninomiya touch you again." I suddenly snapped.
"Eh? You were jealous?" Jun's eyes widened in shock.
"Of course I was! Nobody has the right to touch you, you're mine!"
"I'm yours." Jun grinned happily. We suddenly broke apart when we heard my parents coming back and with a last kiss, I left Jun's bedroom, my heart beating furiously at the idea of what happened between us some minutes ago. Jun had agreed to be mine and only mine!!
When I went to bed this night, I couldn't help grinning like an idiot. Everything was just too wonderful! I was feeling as the luckiest man of this earth. Okay, I knew perfectly it was wrong because Jun was my brother but how could you try to erase a bond like both of us shared? It was just impossible! I would have died in the end if Jun had never told me that he didn't love me.
A soft knock made me jump, cutting my thoughts off and I smiled when I saw Jun entering with a shy look.
"I can't sleep."
"Come in." I opened the sheets, remembering all the times he had done that when we were younger. But this time, he was coming as my lover and I would be able to kiss and hug him as if there was no tomorrow. Jun slipped next to me and I automatically wrapped him in my arms, my hand stroking his stomach softly.
"Nobody can know, ne?" Jun finally asked after some minutes.
"No. If we want to be together, nobody can know. Does it bother you?"
"No. As long as Sho-chan loves me, everything is fine for me."
"Oh, Jun..." I moaned and caught his lips, wanting to show him how much his words meant to me.
I knew what we were doing was very dangerous but I was ready to fight the world for Jun. Because he was everything I needed to survive. Because he was my everything and nobody would be able to take him away from me.
Because with him, I simply felt alive...
To be continued...
A/N: I'm sorry I couldn't resist to write and post a new sakumoto because well, they are one of my favorite pairings xD I hope this beginning will please you :) comments are <3
Author: matsuaurore
Pairings: Sakumoto, Matsumiya (slight)
Genre: Au, romance, drama, angst
Rating: R
Disclaimer: They belong to me but just in my dreams T.T
Summary: He was everything to me. My joys, my pains, my life. He was my everything, my half. But what can you do when the love you feel is also the forbidden?
What can you do when you have to push away what keeps you alive?
Chapter 1:
I've always thought my life would be like my parents wanted it to be. Though, nothing happened in this way and maybe it would have been less painful if I had followed my parent's wishes but I never regretted anything because I was able to feel complete with the biggest treasure of my life.
I was 18 years old the first time it happened. I was studying economy at Keio, was dating my girlfriend for two years and had a perfect life. If you considered that boring was the definition of the word 'perfect'. Because I was just acting like my parents wanted. Like the society wanted. I really liked my studies but what I was hiding to everybody was the fact my girlfriend didn't have what I needed to love her truly. She had a hole between her legs and it was what disgusted me. Because she hadn't a cock.
I was gay.
Pretty obvious after what I've just said. I tried many times to convince myself that it was just a phase or my hormones but I gave up lying to myself the day I screamed in pleasure when I shoved my dick in Ryosuke's ass, one of my classmate. I was 16 years old then, and understood that dicks were definitely for me. Dicks and asses of course. Maybe it was the reason why I never felt any pleasure at touching a girl's breast. That's why for three years, I cheated on my girlfriend and fucked as many men as I could. So, why was I dating her for two years? To please my parents, hide the fact that their older perfect son loved to have his cock deep inside an ass and mostly because of my little brother.
My treasure.
The most important thing of my fucking annoying life.
I was 17 years old when I understood that I loved Jun more than in a brotherly way. We had always been very close as brothers. Since his birth when I was 2 years old. When I saw his tiny face, I fell in love with him without knowing it. When he was crying, I was the only one able to calm him down. I just had to take him in my arms and Jun immediately stopped to cry, making me the most beautiful smiles of the world. He was always in my arms and when I grew up, started to invade my bed to sleep but I never told my parents about this detail. They were used to our close relationship even if I had never hugged Jun in front of them.
For my parents, I was the perfect older brother who helped his baby brother with his home works, brought him to his activities or other normal things. So, they never wondered why I was so protective with Jun. Because he was mine. He belonged to me. I hated the fact we were brothers even if I had never seen him like that. For me, he was a part of myself. He was a part of my soul.
Jun grew up quickly and became even more beautiful in my eyes. He was kind, innocent, a bit too naive. Jun was always smiling and was able to make you smile even when you were in a bad mood. His dream was to become a doctor to heal people and children, he told me one day. He was just perfect in my eyes even when he made his caprices. I could give up with just one look from him. I just loved him with my whole heart.
"Nii-chan?" I opened my eyes and saw Jun in his pajamas, stroking his sleepy eyes.
"You aren't sleeping Jun?"
"I can't." Jun pouted and with a sigh, I opened the sheets and showed him to lay next to me.
"What's wrong?"
"I just can sleep in Nii-chan's arms." Jun said, sticking his body against mine.
"How will you do when I'll leave the house?"
"What?! No! I refuse you to leave without me!" Jun shouted, tears filling his eyes.
"You're ten years old, Jun, you have to act like a big boy." I sighed. Jun pushed my arm and tried to leave but I hugged him tightly.
"Marry me, Sho."
"Baka, we are brothers and we are two boys, we can't get married." I chuckled.
"I don't care, I'll marry my Sho-chan because you are mine!" I smiled tenderly, my heart tightening.
"Sleep baby." I kissed his nose and hugged him.
Jun never came again in my bed after this night.
****
I threw my bag in the entry, dreaming to take a shower after my four hours of bodybuilding. It was my hobby. I loved to practice twice per week to take care of my muscles and my body. I was sweating like ever and needed to wash now.
Climbing the stairs, I opened the bathroom's door and froze.
Jun was here, taking a shower. My eyes traveled on his naked body and I bit my lip. He was incredibly beautiful. He had the body of a 16 years old boy but his thin hips and his butt drove me crazy. He had a wonderful butt that every gay man would dream about. I wanted to take it with my hands, to stroke it and mostly, fuck it. I left the bathroom hurriedly to run in my bedroom where I collapsed on my bed, my hand slipping in my boxer. I moaned, touching myself while picturing Jun's naked body and soon, came in a loud whine.
I stared at my dirty hand with shocked. What happened to me? It was the first time I was getting hard for my little brother and it was wrong! It was forbidden! Why did I feel desire for him?! Why was I always dreaming about his lips on mine, about my member inside him, about his screams of pleasure?! Shit shit shit, I had to do something to erase these feelings! I couldn't love my own brother even if I had never seen him in this way! He was innocent, he was fragile! I had to stop this desire invading me anytime I was seeing his eyes and his smile!
"Nii-chan?" A soft knock made me jump.
"I'm busy, Jun." Yes. I had to avoid him. To ignore him until these disgusting feelings leave.
"I wanted to ask you something."
"Leave! I'm studying!" I hated myself for talking to him like that. He didn't deserve it. I buried my face in my hands and started to cry silently, wishing to erase the freak I was.
For two weeks, I avoided Jun, spending all my time at the library and locking myself in my bedroom. I was only seeing him at dinner but as there were our parents, he never tried to talk to me though, I could feel his sad eyes on me. It always broke my heart to see the sadness in his beautiful light brown eyes but I had to be strong. I had to erase my desire and love for him.
I was proud of my efforts but one day, something spoiled everything. One day, a fucking boy spoiled everything and made me give up.
I was coming home earlier to work on my exam and heard laughs from the living room. I blinked, seeing Jun on the floor, laughing as a short boy was on top of him and tickling him.
"Kazu, stop!" Jun laughed.
Who was he?! Who was this fucking brat daring to touch my baby?! I was going to kill him with my own hands!
"What's happening here?!" I snapped.
"Nii-chan?!" Jun gasped and pushed his friend away, blushing.
"Oh, this is the famous brother." The boy smirked. Who was he to talk about me like that with this arrogant face?!
"Kazu!" Jun blushed. "Nii-chan, this is Ninomiya Kazunari, my best friend. Nino, this is Sakurai Sho, my older brother."
"He is hot." Nino exclaimed, making me blush.
"Kazu!" Jun slapped his head with a frown.
"What?! I'm right. Are you gay?" Nino asked me. He really had no shame to ask this kind of question to someone he didn't know.
"No and I have a girlfriend." I replied.
"Too bad. No problem, J is pretty cute for me." Nino kissed Jun's cheek, making him giggle. What?! How did he dare touching MY Jun and making him smile or giggle stupidly?!
"Kazu is cute too." I paled. Does Jun liked him? Was he in love with him?! It couldn't be possible! Jun was mine!
"Jun won't have a boyfriend!" I snapped.
"Eh?" Jun gasped.
"Why? Are you jealous?" Nino smirked.
"I...no... I..." I blushed, realizing the meaning of my words. "Jun is too young to date someone and it's wrong to like boys."
"I'm 16 years old!" Jun pouted. "And why would it be wrong?!"
"Because a boy has to date a girl." I was so hypocrite to say that when I was in love with my own little brother but couldn't let my treasure to this brat or anyone else.
"I don't care, I like who I want!" Jun replied.
"Think about papa and mama, don't bring shame on them, it's wrong, Jun!"
"I don't care! I date who I want!"
"Shut up! You won't date Nino, end of the conversation!"
"I hate you! You're not my brother anymore!" Jun cried and left the living room.
"Jun!" I called but my brother slammed his bedroom's door.
"If I didn't know that you are brothers, I would say that you were pretty jealous and like him more than you should." Nino smirked.
"Don't be so stupid! I'm just trying to protect him!"
"Really? Then, be honest with him and your feelings instead of hurting him." Nino smiled sadly before leaving the house.
I stared at the gap, lost. What did he mean? Had he understood I was in love with Jun? What was the meaning in his eyes when he had looked at me while I was scolding Jun? Will he repeat it to someone?
Jun... My baby... My treasure... He hated me... He didn't want to be my brother...
When I joined my bedroom, I heard his sobs through the door but ignored it. I had to resist when all I wanted was to run to him and kiss him with despair to stop his tears. I clenched my fists, hitting my pillow angrily. The worst thing that could happen to me was Jun hating me. I just refused this idea.
Jun ignored me the next day, refusing to look or talk to me and killing my heart at the same time. It was our first argument in 16 years and I hated it. I hated this feeling. I hated to cross his sad and angry look.
"Sho..." My girlfriend giggled as we were entering the house, my lips devouring her neck.
"Bedroom..." I whispered.
"Your parents." She protested.
"Not here until tonight." I took her hand and led her in my bedroom where I threw her on my bed before taking our clothes off. I grabbed a condom and climbed on top of her. We had already made love several times even if getting hard for a girl when you were gay was as hard as hugging a cactus. But I needed it. I needed her. I needed to feel someone was loving me. And I mostly needed to release my pain and anger.
I slipped inside her and started to thrust roughly, not caring about her pleasure, I just wanted to calm myself down.
"Sho..." She moaned.
"Hana." I kissed her roughly, thrusting harder, sweat rolling down my chest. I suddenly raised my face and froze. Next to my door was Jun, staring at us with wide eyes. "Shit, Jun!" I screamed, waking him up and Jun left quickly. I pulled away, my hard length, now, soft.
"What was he doing here?!" Hana snapped angrily.
"I think he needed help for his home works." I lied.
"He could have knocked!"
"Maybe he did but we didn't hear."
"I think it's better if I leave." Hana grabbed her clothes, disappointed but right now, I didn't care. Jun was the only important in my eyes.
At the second she left, I ran toward Jun's bedroom and found him in a corner, his head in his knees.
"Jun?"
"Leave me alone!"
"Jun, baby, I'm sorry." I sat next to him and touched his shoulder, making him freeze.
"Sorry for disturbing when you were with your girlfriend."
"I'm not angry. In fact, I feel sad."
"Eh?" Jun raised his crying face.
"Because you've seen that."
"I'll overcome it." Jun shrugged.
"Jun, look at me." Jun raised his eyes and I cupped his face. "I'm also angry."
"I'm sorry." Tears rolled down his cheeks even more.
"Not at you but at myself."
"Why?"
"Because while I was making love to her, I was thinking about you."
"What..." I didn't let him the time to answer and kissed him. His lips were like I thought. Amazing. Soft, with a taste of strawberry. Jun didn't react, too shocked to say something, his eyes wide open.
"I love you." I whispered and caught his lips again. I tasted it fully, enjoying their warmth, their touch on mines. Soon, Jun tried to kiss me back and I smiled at his attempt. He looked like a kid who was experimenting his first kiss. I took his lower lip between my teeth to make him open his mouth and slipped my tongue inside it. I heard him moaning and slowly, made him fall on the ground and climbed on him to kiss him deeply. God it was amazing! I was getting hard just at the feeling of his lips and pulled away.
"Nii-chan?" Jun looked at me with lost eyes.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have. It's wrong." I tried to stand up but Jun gripped my shirt.
"Not when it's you."
"Eh?"
"I love Nii-chan too." Jun blushed deeply.
"Oh baby..." I moaned and without thinking more, I attacked his lips again. I lifted him in my arms and laid him on his bed to take his shirt off while kissing every part of his skin with despair. Jun was moaning loudly under me, his hands lost in my hair as I was taking my shirt off too.
"Nii-chan is so beautiful..." Jun stroked my chest with red cheeks, making me whine and I quickly took off our pants. A big smile spread my lips when I saw his hard length and I pressed my body against his, raising his legs around my waist to move.
"God, Jun... Baby... You feel so good." I gasped, stroking our members together roughly.
"Sho... Sho..." Jun kept moaning, his hips moving up and down with mine.
"Come. Come for me, baby." I whispered in his ear, feeling his body arching and his seed leaving. His hot semen between our stomachs brought me over the edge and I came with a loud moan. I kept kissing his face as if I was going to lose him before hugging him tightly.
"Sho?" Jun looked at me with these so innocent eyes of him, certainly wondering what had just happened.
"You're mine." I whispered, hugging him possessively.
"But Sho-chan, we are brothers, isn't it wrong?" Jun asked shyly, looking as if he was afraid that I would push him away after realizing he was perfectly right.
"I know. It's wrong to do that when we are brothers but..." I kissed his lips, stroking his pink cheek. "Do you hate it? Do you feel it's wrong when I'm doing that to you?" I asked worriedly. Maybe I was forcing him. Maybe I was rapping him.
"No. I like when Sho-chan kisses me. I love Sho-chan's lips." Jun blushed even more. Shit, he was so damn cute! He looked so fragile!
"Me too." I smiled. I kissed him roughly but reality hit us back when Jun started to cough violently. "Jun?! Baby, are you okay?!" I panicked.
"Y-es." Jun smiled with difficulty.
"Where is your inhalator?!"
"Here." I caught it and gave it to him. Jun took two deep puffs before calming down.
I bit my lip, feeling guilty. I should have thought about him before acting so selfishly!
It was the reason why Jun looked so fragile. Since he was 8 years old, he was suffering of a very bad asthma and had to always have his inhalator with him.
"I'm fine, Sho, I'm not a weak baby." Jun pouted cutely as I kept looking at him as if was going to die.
"I should have been more careful. We're lucky you didn't make an attack before." Jun blushed at the reference and shook his head.
"It was very nice." My heart melted when my little brother hugged me and buried his face in my neck. Shit, I was so scared to lose him! I needed him so much to survive! He was a part of myself, I wouldn't be able to live without him!
"Don't ever let this Ninomiya touch you again." I suddenly snapped.
"Eh? You were jealous?" Jun's eyes widened in shock.
"Of course I was! Nobody has the right to touch you, you're mine!"
"I'm yours." Jun grinned happily. We suddenly broke apart when we heard my parents coming back and with a last kiss, I left Jun's bedroom, my heart beating furiously at the idea of what happened between us some minutes ago. Jun had agreed to be mine and only mine!!
When I went to bed this night, I couldn't help grinning like an idiot. Everything was just too wonderful! I was feeling as the luckiest man of this earth. Okay, I knew perfectly it was wrong because Jun was my brother but how could you try to erase a bond like both of us shared? It was just impossible! I would have died in the end if Jun had never told me that he didn't love me.
A soft knock made me jump, cutting my thoughts off and I smiled when I saw Jun entering with a shy look.
"I can't sleep."
"Come in." I opened the sheets, remembering all the times he had done that when we were younger. But this time, he was coming as my lover and I would be able to kiss and hug him as if there was no tomorrow. Jun slipped next to me and I automatically wrapped him in my arms, my hand stroking his stomach softly.
"Nobody can know, ne?" Jun finally asked after some minutes.
"No. If we want to be together, nobody can know. Does it bother you?"
"No. As long as Sho-chan loves me, everything is fine for me."
"Oh, Jun..." I moaned and caught his lips, wanting to show him how much his words meant to me.
I knew what we were doing was very dangerous but I was ready to fight the world for Jun. Because he was everything I needed to survive. Because he was my everything and nobody would be able to take him away from me.
Because with him, I simply felt alive...
To be continued...
A/N: I'm sorry I couldn't resist to write and post a new sakumoto because well, they are one of my favorite pairings xD I hope this beginning will please you :) comments are <3