Alive (7/10)
Title: Alive
Author: Matsuaurore
Pairings: Sakumoto
Genre: Au, romance, drama, angst
Rating: R
Disclaimer: They belong to me but just in my dreams T.T
Summary: He was everything to me. My joys, my pains, my life. He was my everything, my half. But what can you do when the love you feel is also the forbidden?
What can you do when you have to push away what keeps you alive?
Chapter 7:
Jun's pov:
Sho's start was the worst thing I went through in my life. It was like losing a part of myself. A part of my heart. Even if I knew he was doing the best thing for us and we would see each other for Christmas, I couldn't accept it. And I started to hate my father for making my brother leave.
You come like in a dream
And you fall asleep all against me
Like the sun who gets up
In my heart when I'm a bit cold
You smile and nothing is more tender then
Than the wind and the rain
That slide along your body
After an amazing last day and night and horrible goodbyes at the airport, I became lonely again. I entered Sho's bedroom which was now, empty. I sat on his bed and hugged his pillow, tears rolling down my cheeks. I also felt empty like this bedroom. How would I live without Sho? How would I handle to be lonely?
"Jun, dinner is ready." I heard my mother calling.
I ignored her and laid on Sho's bed, slipping under the sheets and inhaling his scent which wouldn't stay very long. I started to breath with difficulty, trying to calm down but my sobs were too heavy.
"Jun?" I heard my mother calling again. "Oh God, Jun!" I barely saw her running toward me and taking me in her arms. "Jun, breath, dear, please!"
"I ca-n't." I panted.
"I'll call the firemen!" My mother grabbed her phone.
"He will be fine." The fireman finally said, taking off the oxygen mask on my face.
"Wouldn't it be better to keep him at hospital?" My mother asked.
"No. He will be better with you. Try to avoid him any stress, it's bad for him to have such rough crises."
"His brother left for America this morning. They are very close."
"I see. I can't force you to make him come back but you should find a way to allow them to communicate as much as possible."
"Okay."
"Hey, boy, do you feel better?"
"Yes." I said weakly, yawning.
"He is exhausted, he needs to sleep." The fireman smiled, stroking my hair before they all left my bedroom.
I didn't sleep well this night. Or even didn't sleep at all. I missed Sho. I wanted to be in his arms, to feel his lips on mine and to hear his voice. I was turning and turning in Sho's bed, hugging his pillow but it wasn't enough. I wanted him, not a fucking object!
When I entered my classroom the next morning, everybody stared at me. My cheeks were blushing furiously under they looks but I ignored it.
"Ma ma ma, you're sad because your brother left for America and he can't fuck you anymore." Sonoda smirked.
"Leave me alone, please." I mumbled.
"What?!" Sonoda approached me, ready to hit me but a voice stopped him.
"J!" I turned my head to see Kazu entering the class. Right on time, Kaz'.
"Hello Kazu." I forced a smile.
"Come on." Nino grabbed my arm and threw a killing look to Sonoda. "You. You dare to touch him and you can say goodbye to your dirty dick. And it's the same for everyone who will try to hurt J." Kazu snapped.
"As if I was scared of a brat like you." Sonoda smirked. Nino turned around grabbed his collar, throwing a death glare that would paralyze you in one second.
"You should be. Because even if I'm not the scariest person of Japan, his brother is. I told you, if you touch Jun, I'll call Sho and believe me, you don't want to know what will happen to you and your balls." Nino said coldly before dragging me out of the classroom.
"I didn't need your intervention, thanks." I snapped and pulled away.
"J, you're too kind to defend yourself and Sho-kun asked me to watch over you."
"I'm pissed of you and Sho! I'm not a baby, I can protect myself! How do I look like now?! You defended me in front of the whole classroom, I'm ridiculous!" I yelled.
"J..."
"I'm not 5 years old, I'm strong enough to bear Sho's absence!" I snapped and left without a word. I was nasty, Kazu didn't deserve that but I was fed up that everybody saw me like a weak baby because of my fucking asthma! Was it so hard to see me like a 17 years old boy?
When I came back home, my mother announced me a very good surprise. Sho had called! I ran to my bedroom and opened my laptop to call him back via Skype.
If the night scares you
Alone, at the very bottom of your heart
If you seek a friend, think about me
I will never be far away from you
And even if it's every night
If I have to spend my life
Consoling you, I will be there
I will never be far away from you
"Hey baby." Sho's face appeared in my screen.
"Sho-chan!" I exclaimed, a big smile spreading my lips.
"How are you?"
"I miss you." I pouted.
"Me too. I would like to hug you."
"How is America?"
"Not bad. But I can't enjoy anything as you aren't here." I blushed deeply, lowering my eyes.
"Baka."
"But it's true. Mom told me for your crisis." Sho's eyes darkened.
"Oh that." I mumbled, cursing my mother for worrying Sho uselessly.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes. It was just a small crisis."
"Liar, she called the firemen." Sho frowned.
"I wouldn't have any crisis if you were here." I snapped.
"Jun, baby, you know I hate to be far away from you but we have to be patient."
"I know." I sighed.
"How was school?" I froze, praying for this question not to come.
"Good. Nothing new." I lied.
"Don't hesitate to tell me or Nino if someone bothers you."
"Of course." I forced a smile.
"I have to go, I'll call you tomorrow, baby."
"Hun." I nodded sadly. Already...
"Love you, my little love." Sho blew me a kiss.
"Sappy Nii-chan. Love you too." I chuckled before the connection cut.
I collapsed on my bed with a sigh. How could I ask Sho to come back? It was impossible. I had to be strong and to do everything to control my crises.
****
You live like in my dream
You wake up all against me
Every day that starts
Makes me have doubts, but you are here
Forever, in my joys, in my desires
Forever, I would like to caress your smile
"Jun?" I jumped, raising my eyes from my notebook to see Kazu looking at me with sad eyes.
"Hun?"
"I'm sorry for yesterday."
"It's okay. I have to apologize too. I didn't want to be nasty but I want you and Sho to stop treating me like a baby." I sighed.
"I know but it's because we love you and are scared for you."
"Would you be scared if I hadn't my asthma?" I snapped.
"Yes. Because you are my precious best friend and I don't want to lose you."
"Thank you but I want you to treat me like an adult and not a child."
"Okay." Nino sighed and I wrapped him in my arms.
"I love Kazu a lot."
"Me too." Nino smirked.
"Baka." I laughed. "So, how is it with Ohno-san?"
"Perfect. He is perfect." Nino exclaimed.
"You're already in love." I smirked.
"Mmm maybe." Nino blushed.
"Kazu-chan is in love~" I sing-sang to tease him.
"Shut up. By the way, would you like to go to the restaurant with us?"
"And being the third wheel? No, thanks." I chuckled.
"I swear we won't kiss in front of you."
"Oh please Kazu, even if you didn't kiss, you two look at each other as if you were going to fuck in front of everybody. Ohno-sensei doesn't fuck you enough?"
"Oi! I top him too." Nino protested.
"Eh? He is ten years older than you and let you top?" I gasped.
"And what? He likes to be led in bed and I love to make him beg. Don't tell me..." Nino's eyes widened and I looked away, blushing. "Masaka!!! You've never topped Sho?!"
"No. He is older and... I don't know, we did it and he naturally led everything."
"You should fuck him, it's great to shove his dick in an ass." Nino smirked.
"Sho would never agree." I mumbled.
"Ask him. Maybe he would agree for you. And like that, he would completely belong to you."
And even if you scream, if you cry
Even if men scare you
If their craze enchain your arms
I will never be far away from you
And even if tomorrow you forget me
If you dream of another life
You can go away where you want to
I will never be far away from you
I stared at the gap, stroking my necklace. Does Sho would agree to let me top? And would I be able to top him? I wasn't sure of that. But the idea of him belonging to me completely pleased me.
"Seriously, ask him. Maybe he won't like the idea at the beginning but if you are good enough, being on bottom will be an amazing memory for him."
"Mmm it means Ohno-sensei is very good." I smirked.
"I have to say he is incredible in bed but I prefer to top him, making him beg for me to fuck him harder and faster is the best." Nino said arrogantly.
"Brat." I laughed.
"And I know you told me to stop treating you like a baby but if you need any help, I'm always here for you."
"I know. Thank you, Kaz'."
"I have to go, we have a lesson with Ohchan."
"Try to follow the lesson and not to stare at his bum too much." I smirked. Nino smiled evilly and left before my teacher arrived.
I didn't pay any attention to the lesson, too lost in my thoughts. As I had to meet Nino for the lunch, I climbed the stairs to the roof after the lessons of the morning. I would have rather eaten alone but I didn't want to reject Kazu's proposition.
"Kazu?" I called when I heard some noises and gasped when someone slammed me against the wall.
"It's not 'Kazu'. He fucks you too?" Sonoda smirked with his friends.
"What do you want?" I asked in a whisper.
"Mmm, I'm hungry." Sonoda caught my bag and took my bento. "It looks good!" He started to eat it with a devil smile. "Your mother is a very good cooker."
"It's me who cooked it."
"What?!" Sonoda grimaced and threw my bento on the ground, the food scattering on the ground. "I won't eat any food from you. I don't want to catch your illness!" Sonoda smirked, making his friends laugh.
"Release me!!" I snapped.
"What?" Sonoda lost his smirk.
"Let me go."
"Ohh the disgusting freak is trying to be strong." I gasped when I felt a slap.
"Let me go!" I pushed him roughly and made him fall on the ground.
"Little shit!" Sonoda's friends snapped, grabbing me by the collar.
"I'm going to make you remember who is the boss." Sonoda stood up, ready to punch me but stopped when we heard a voice.
"Jun!" I saw Nino running toward us. "Come on, the director is waiting for us." Nino grabbed my hand.
I let him drag me elsewhere, too ashamed to say something. Once again, I had been weak. Once again, someone else had helped me.
"Jun..."
"I know." I muttered.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes."
"Come on, I'll buy you something, you can't stay without eating."
"I'm fine, Kazu!" I snapped.
"You can't let them bully you more."
"I know."
"I'll tell Sho-kun and he..."
"Kazu, if you want to keep our friendship, don't dare to tell him." I said coldly.
"Why?"
"Because I have to resolve that myself and Sho will have problems if he comes to hit them." I explained softly.
"But Jun, they are bullying you."
"I know and I told you I would resolve that myself. Let me do."
"I don't want to let them hurt you." Nino protested.
"I know. But I have to do it by myself. You can't always protect me and I don't want to disappoint you but you are not very strong compared to me."
"Oi, I'm not a dwarf!"
"Just a little." I said mockingly, receiving a slap on my head.
"Nasty boy!" Nino smirked.
"Seriously, don't worry, I'll be fine." I smiled. "I have baseball, I have to go." I kissed his cheek and left him.
"If you think I'm going to let you alone in this mess, you're pretty wrong." Nino whispered.
I sighed in relief when Sho didn't talk about Sonoda when he called me this afternoon. Nino hadn't told him. At least, I hadn't made any crises when we were on the roof.
I was counting the time before the Christmas vacations, impatient to see Sho again.
But as time passed, things with Sonoda became worst. At the beginning, he just pushed me against the walls, stole my stuffs or threw my bento on the ground but one day, I tried to push him away and received a punch. I was afraid not of him but of the marks. I had a big black bruise under the eye and of course, it was impossible to hide it to Kazu and Sho. Even make-up couldn't cover it completely.
If the night scares you
Alone, at the very bottom of your heart
If you seek a friend, think of me
I will never be far away from you
And even if tomorrow you forget me
If you dream of another life
You can go away where you want to
I will never be far away from you
"What happened to your eye?!" Sho gasped. I had avoided this meeting on Skype all the week but Sho had started to think I didn't want to see him anymore.
"I fell against the living room's table." I smiled.
"Are you sure it's really that?" Sho asked suspiciously.
"Of course, you can ask mom." I lied.
"Be careful, baby." Sho finally sighed.
"I know. So, are you fine in America?"
"I have some friends and parties are cool but I miss you. I'm impatient to come back."
"Two months left." I sighed.
"Yes."
****
I gasped when my head hit the wall and I fell on my knees, blood already leaving the corner of my mouth. But despite the pain, I threw a death glare to Sonoda who punched me again.
"You haven't had enough, freak?!" Sonoda cut my breath when his knee hit my stomach. I concentrated not to make a crisis, trying to breath normally.
"Maybe he has got enough." A friend of Sonoda said.
"Just a last one for today." I almost screamed in pain when the baseball bat hit my hip and collapsed on the ground. "See you tomorrow, the freak." They all laughed and left the restrooms. My nails scratched the ground as I was trying to breath. My inhalator was in the classroom.
"Oh my God, Jun!" I heard Kame screaming.
"I'm fi-ne." I panted.
"Your inhalator!" My friend left quickly and came back one minute later. I inhaled deeply as if air was coming back in my lungs. "It was Sonoda, ne?"
"Yes."
"You should tell your brother or Ninomiya."
"No. Sho will pass his first exams in two weeks and if he knew, he would kill Sonoda. He has to succeed. If we want to be together, I have to be strong."
"But Jun..."
"I'm fine. As long as Sho loves me, I can bear everything." I smiled weakly.
I stood up with difficulty, wiping the blood on my face, limping.
"Do you want some help to go home?"
"No. Thank you."
"Sure?"
"Yes." I left the restrooms slowly, wondering how I would hide that to Sho. I would have to skip Skype tonight or he would take the first plane. Why does everything had ended like that? Why did Sho have to leave? How would I do if he came back for Christmas and saw me in this state? All these questions were turning in my mind. It was already hard to avoid Kazu not to let him find out for the violent ijime but with Sho, it was even harder.
Two weeks later, I received a call from Sho. Was he crazy, it would cost a lot!
"Jun, my love, are you okay?"
"Yes, why?"
"Because you are refusing my conversations for two weeks and Nino told me you were avoiding him."
"I'm not avoiding him." Shit. Kazu!
"He said you were never in your classroom when he came at the break and don't answer when he comes home. Jun, are you really okay?"
"I'm fine!" I snapped. "Sorry. It's just I'm working hard on my exams and I can't see anyone if I want to pass."
"You're already pretty good, don't push yourself too much."
"Okay."
"I can't stay too long as I have a meeting with my friends. I'll call you tomorrow."
"I see." I was disappointed. I wanted to talk more with him. "Be careful, then."
"Hun. You two. Good night my angel."
"Good night, Sho." The line cut and I stared at my wall with empty eyes.
What was going to happen to us?
To be continued....
A/N: So, things are turning bad for Jun >< He is only trying to protect Sho but hiding him all that won't be a good idea either. Next chapter, Sho will come back to Japan and our two brothers will spend Christmas together ;)
Author: Matsuaurore
Pairings: Sakumoto
Genre: Au, romance, drama, angst
Rating: R
Disclaimer: They belong to me but just in my dreams T.T
Summary: He was everything to me. My joys, my pains, my life. He was my everything, my half. But what can you do when the love you feel is also the forbidden?
What can you do when you have to push away what keeps you alive?
Chapter 7:
Jun's pov:
Sho's start was the worst thing I went through in my life. It was like losing a part of myself. A part of my heart. Even if I knew he was doing the best thing for us and we would see each other for Christmas, I couldn't accept it. And I started to hate my father for making my brother leave.
You come like in a dream
And you fall asleep all against me
Like the sun who gets up
In my heart when I'm a bit cold
You smile and nothing is more tender then
Than the wind and the rain
That slide along your body
After an amazing last day and night and horrible goodbyes at the airport, I became lonely again. I entered Sho's bedroom which was now, empty. I sat on his bed and hugged his pillow, tears rolling down my cheeks. I also felt empty like this bedroom. How would I live without Sho? How would I handle to be lonely?
"Jun, dinner is ready." I heard my mother calling.
I ignored her and laid on Sho's bed, slipping under the sheets and inhaling his scent which wouldn't stay very long. I started to breath with difficulty, trying to calm down but my sobs were too heavy.
"Jun?" I heard my mother calling again. "Oh God, Jun!" I barely saw her running toward me and taking me in her arms. "Jun, breath, dear, please!"
"I ca-n't." I panted.
"I'll call the firemen!" My mother grabbed her phone.
"He will be fine." The fireman finally said, taking off the oxygen mask on my face.
"Wouldn't it be better to keep him at hospital?" My mother asked.
"No. He will be better with you. Try to avoid him any stress, it's bad for him to have such rough crises."
"His brother left for America this morning. They are very close."
"I see. I can't force you to make him come back but you should find a way to allow them to communicate as much as possible."
"Okay."
"Hey, boy, do you feel better?"
"Yes." I said weakly, yawning.
"He is exhausted, he needs to sleep." The fireman smiled, stroking my hair before they all left my bedroom.
I didn't sleep well this night. Or even didn't sleep at all. I missed Sho. I wanted to be in his arms, to feel his lips on mine and to hear his voice. I was turning and turning in Sho's bed, hugging his pillow but it wasn't enough. I wanted him, not a fucking object!
When I entered my classroom the next morning, everybody stared at me. My cheeks were blushing furiously under they looks but I ignored it.
"Ma ma ma, you're sad because your brother left for America and he can't fuck you anymore." Sonoda smirked.
"Leave me alone, please." I mumbled.
"What?!" Sonoda approached me, ready to hit me but a voice stopped him.
"J!" I turned my head to see Kazu entering the class. Right on time, Kaz'.
"Hello Kazu." I forced a smile.
"Come on." Nino grabbed my arm and threw a killing look to Sonoda. "You. You dare to touch him and you can say goodbye to your dirty dick. And it's the same for everyone who will try to hurt J." Kazu snapped.
"As if I was scared of a brat like you." Sonoda smirked. Nino turned around grabbed his collar, throwing a death glare that would paralyze you in one second.
"You should be. Because even if I'm not the scariest person of Japan, his brother is. I told you, if you touch Jun, I'll call Sho and believe me, you don't want to know what will happen to you and your balls." Nino said coldly before dragging me out of the classroom.
"I didn't need your intervention, thanks." I snapped and pulled away.
"J, you're too kind to defend yourself and Sho-kun asked me to watch over you."
"I'm pissed of you and Sho! I'm not a baby, I can protect myself! How do I look like now?! You defended me in front of the whole classroom, I'm ridiculous!" I yelled.
"J..."
"I'm not 5 years old, I'm strong enough to bear Sho's absence!" I snapped and left without a word. I was nasty, Kazu didn't deserve that but I was fed up that everybody saw me like a weak baby because of my fucking asthma! Was it so hard to see me like a 17 years old boy?
When I came back home, my mother announced me a very good surprise. Sho had called! I ran to my bedroom and opened my laptop to call him back via Skype.
If the night scares you
Alone, at the very bottom of your heart
If you seek a friend, think about me
I will never be far away from you
And even if it's every night
If I have to spend my life
Consoling you, I will be there
I will never be far away from you
"Hey baby." Sho's face appeared in my screen.
"Sho-chan!" I exclaimed, a big smile spreading my lips.
"How are you?"
"I miss you." I pouted.
"Me too. I would like to hug you."
"How is America?"
"Not bad. But I can't enjoy anything as you aren't here." I blushed deeply, lowering my eyes.
"Baka."
"But it's true. Mom told me for your crisis." Sho's eyes darkened.
"Oh that." I mumbled, cursing my mother for worrying Sho uselessly.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes. It was just a small crisis."
"Liar, she called the firemen." Sho frowned.
"I wouldn't have any crisis if you were here." I snapped.
"Jun, baby, you know I hate to be far away from you but we have to be patient."
"I know." I sighed.
"How was school?" I froze, praying for this question not to come.
"Good. Nothing new." I lied.
"Don't hesitate to tell me or Nino if someone bothers you."
"Of course." I forced a smile.
"I have to go, I'll call you tomorrow, baby."
"Hun." I nodded sadly. Already...
"Love you, my little love." Sho blew me a kiss.
"Sappy Nii-chan. Love you too." I chuckled before the connection cut.
I collapsed on my bed with a sigh. How could I ask Sho to come back? It was impossible. I had to be strong and to do everything to control my crises.
****
You live like in my dream
You wake up all against me
Every day that starts
Makes me have doubts, but you are here
Forever, in my joys, in my desires
Forever, I would like to caress your smile
"Jun?" I jumped, raising my eyes from my notebook to see Kazu looking at me with sad eyes.
"Hun?"
"I'm sorry for yesterday."
"It's okay. I have to apologize too. I didn't want to be nasty but I want you and Sho to stop treating me like a baby." I sighed.
"I know but it's because we love you and are scared for you."
"Would you be scared if I hadn't my asthma?" I snapped.
"Yes. Because you are my precious best friend and I don't want to lose you."
"Thank you but I want you to treat me like an adult and not a child."
"Okay." Nino sighed and I wrapped him in my arms.
"I love Kazu a lot."
"Me too." Nino smirked.
"Baka." I laughed. "So, how is it with Ohno-san?"
"Perfect. He is perfect." Nino exclaimed.
"You're already in love." I smirked.
"Mmm maybe." Nino blushed.
"Kazu-chan is in love~" I sing-sang to tease him.
"Shut up. By the way, would you like to go to the restaurant with us?"
"And being the third wheel? No, thanks." I chuckled.
"I swear we won't kiss in front of you."
"Oh please Kazu, even if you didn't kiss, you two look at each other as if you were going to fuck in front of everybody. Ohno-sensei doesn't fuck you enough?"
"Oi! I top him too." Nino protested.
"Eh? He is ten years older than you and let you top?" I gasped.
"And what? He likes to be led in bed and I love to make him beg. Don't tell me..." Nino's eyes widened and I looked away, blushing. "Masaka!!! You've never topped Sho?!"
"No. He is older and... I don't know, we did it and he naturally led everything."
"You should fuck him, it's great to shove his dick in an ass." Nino smirked.
"Sho would never agree." I mumbled.
"Ask him. Maybe he would agree for you. And like that, he would completely belong to you."
And even if you scream, if you cry
Even if men scare you
If their craze enchain your arms
I will never be far away from you
And even if tomorrow you forget me
If you dream of another life
You can go away where you want to
I will never be far away from you
I stared at the gap, stroking my necklace. Does Sho would agree to let me top? And would I be able to top him? I wasn't sure of that. But the idea of him belonging to me completely pleased me.
"Seriously, ask him. Maybe he won't like the idea at the beginning but if you are good enough, being on bottom will be an amazing memory for him."
"Mmm it means Ohno-sensei is very good." I smirked.
"I have to say he is incredible in bed but I prefer to top him, making him beg for me to fuck him harder and faster is the best." Nino said arrogantly.
"Brat." I laughed.
"And I know you told me to stop treating you like a baby but if you need any help, I'm always here for you."
"I know. Thank you, Kaz'."
"I have to go, we have a lesson with Ohchan."
"Try to follow the lesson and not to stare at his bum too much." I smirked. Nino smiled evilly and left before my teacher arrived.
I didn't pay any attention to the lesson, too lost in my thoughts. As I had to meet Nino for the lunch, I climbed the stairs to the roof after the lessons of the morning. I would have rather eaten alone but I didn't want to reject Kazu's proposition.
"Kazu?" I called when I heard some noises and gasped when someone slammed me against the wall.
"It's not 'Kazu'. He fucks you too?" Sonoda smirked with his friends.
"What do you want?" I asked in a whisper.
"Mmm, I'm hungry." Sonoda caught my bag and took my bento. "It looks good!" He started to eat it with a devil smile. "Your mother is a very good cooker."
"It's me who cooked it."
"What?!" Sonoda grimaced and threw my bento on the ground, the food scattering on the ground. "I won't eat any food from you. I don't want to catch your illness!" Sonoda smirked, making his friends laugh.
"Release me!!" I snapped.
"What?" Sonoda lost his smirk.
"Let me go."
"Ohh the disgusting freak is trying to be strong." I gasped when I felt a slap.
"Let me go!" I pushed him roughly and made him fall on the ground.
"Little shit!" Sonoda's friends snapped, grabbing me by the collar.
"I'm going to make you remember who is the boss." Sonoda stood up, ready to punch me but stopped when we heard a voice.
"Jun!" I saw Nino running toward us. "Come on, the director is waiting for us." Nino grabbed my hand.
I let him drag me elsewhere, too ashamed to say something. Once again, I had been weak. Once again, someone else had helped me.
"Jun..."
"I know." I muttered.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes."
"Come on, I'll buy you something, you can't stay without eating."
"I'm fine, Kazu!" I snapped.
"You can't let them bully you more."
"I know."
"I'll tell Sho-kun and he..."
"Kazu, if you want to keep our friendship, don't dare to tell him." I said coldly.
"Why?"
"Because I have to resolve that myself and Sho will have problems if he comes to hit them." I explained softly.
"But Jun, they are bullying you."
"I know and I told you I would resolve that myself. Let me do."
"I don't want to let them hurt you." Nino protested.
"I know. But I have to do it by myself. You can't always protect me and I don't want to disappoint you but you are not very strong compared to me."
"Oi, I'm not a dwarf!"
"Just a little." I said mockingly, receiving a slap on my head.
"Nasty boy!" Nino smirked.
"Seriously, don't worry, I'll be fine." I smiled. "I have baseball, I have to go." I kissed his cheek and left him.
"If you think I'm going to let you alone in this mess, you're pretty wrong." Nino whispered.
I sighed in relief when Sho didn't talk about Sonoda when he called me this afternoon. Nino hadn't told him. At least, I hadn't made any crises when we were on the roof.
I was counting the time before the Christmas vacations, impatient to see Sho again.
But as time passed, things with Sonoda became worst. At the beginning, he just pushed me against the walls, stole my stuffs or threw my bento on the ground but one day, I tried to push him away and received a punch. I was afraid not of him but of the marks. I had a big black bruise under the eye and of course, it was impossible to hide it to Kazu and Sho. Even make-up couldn't cover it completely.
If the night scares you
Alone, at the very bottom of your heart
If you seek a friend, think of me
I will never be far away from you
And even if tomorrow you forget me
If you dream of another life
You can go away where you want to
I will never be far away from you
"What happened to your eye?!" Sho gasped. I had avoided this meeting on Skype all the week but Sho had started to think I didn't want to see him anymore.
"I fell against the living room's table." I smiled.
"Are you sure it's really that?" Sho asked suspiciously.
"Of course, you can ask mom." I lied.
"Be careful, baby." Sho finally sighed.
"I know. So, are you fine in America?"
"I have some friends and parties are cool but I miss you. I'm impatient to come back."
"Two months left." I sighed.
"Yes."
****
I gasped when my head hit the wall and I fell on my knees, blood already leaving the corner of my mouth. But despite the pain, I threw a death glare to Sonoda who punched me again.
"You haven't had enough, freak?!" Sonoda cut my breath when his knee hit my stomach. I concentrated not to make a crisis, trying to breath normally.
"Maybe he has got enough." A friend of Sonoda said.
"Just a last one for today." I almost screamed in pain when the baseball bat hit my hip and collapsed on the ground. "See you tomorrow, the freak." They all laughed and left the restrooms. My nails scratched the ground as I was trying to breath. My inhalator was in the classroom.
"Oh my God, Jun!" I heard Kame screaming.
"I'm fi-ne." I panted.
"Your inhalator!" My friend left quickly and came back one minute later. I inhaled deeply as if air was coming back in my lungs. "It was Sonoda, ne?"
"Yes."
"You should tell your brother or Ninomiya."
"No. Sho will pass his first exams in two weeks and if he knew, he would kill Sonoda. He has to succeed. If we want to be together, I have to be strong."
"But Jun..."
"I'm fine. As long as Sho loves me, I can bear everything." I smiled weakly.
I stood up with difficulty, wiping the blood on my face, limping.
"Do you want some help to go home?"
"No. Thank you."
"Sure?"
"Yes." I left the restrooms slowly, wondering how I would hide that to Sho. I would have to skip Skype tonight or he would take the first plane. Why does everything had ended like that? Why did Sho have to leave? How would I do if he came back for Christmas and saw me in this state? All these questions were turning in my mind. It was already hard to avoid Kazu not to let him find out for the violent ijime but with Sho, it was even harder.
Two weeks later, I received a call from Sho. Was he crazy, it would cost a lot!
"Jun, my love, are you okay?"
"Yes, why?"
"Because you are refusing my conversations for two weeks and Nino told me you were avoiding him."
"I'm not avoiding him." Shit. Kazu!
"He said you were never in your classroom when he came at the break and don't answer when he comes home. Jun, are you really okay?"
"I'm fine!" I snapped. "Sorry. It's just I'm working hard on my exams and I can't see anyone if I want to pass."
"You're already pretty good, don't push yourself too much."
"Okay."
"I can't stay too long as I have a meeting with my friends. I'll call you tomorrow."
"I see." I was disappointed. I wanted to talk more with him. "Be careful, then."
"Hun. You two. Good night my angel."
"Good night, Sho." The line cut and I stared at my wall with empty eyes.
What was going to happen to us?
To be continued....
A/N: So, things are turning bad for Jun >< He is only trying to protect Sho but hiding him all that won't be a good idea either. Next chapter, Sho will come back to Japan and our two brothers will spend Christmas together ;)