If I stay (Yama) part 2

[matsuaurore]

Title: If I stayAuthor: MatsuAurore
Beta: Thank you so much my Sakudada <3
Pairing: Yama, Matsumiya (slight)
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Drama, angst, romance, fluff
Disclaimer: Only own the plot T.T
Summary: Sho gives all his strength for Arashi and his side work, Ohno is worried because the newscaster tries to do too much things at the same time. And one day, the worst happens...
A/N: Well, sorry for my nasty cut in the part 1 ^^" Here is the part 2 of my one shot and I hope you'll enjoy ~ ^.^


Part two:

Ohno rushed in the hospital, breathing heavily. When he saw Jun, he ran toward him.

"Jun!"
"Satoshi..."
"What happened?" Ohno asked.
"Sho fell asleep while he was dreaving and his car crashed in a van." Jun said as calmly as he could but his voice was shaking.
"How is he, Jun? How is Sho?!!!" Ohno asked, panicked shaking the younger who blinked, he had never seen Ohno like that before. His best friend was always calm, the most calm man he knew.
"Calm down, Satoshi. The doctors are taking care of him, I'm sure he'll be safe." Jun hugged his Leader tightly who started to cry in his neck.

They sat on the chair and Aiba and Nino arrived one hour later, running like they never did.

"Ohchan, Jun, how is he?!" Nino shouted, out of breath.
"He is still in surgery." Jun said softly, Ohno was sat on his lap, his head on his chest, sleeping.
"How is Ohchan?" Aiba asked, showing the sleepy man.
"Bad. I asked some calmant to a nurse, he was too worried." Jun sighed.
"What happened?" Aiba asked while Nino was kneeling in front of Ohno and stroked his face with sadness.
"I was right, he was too exhausted, he fell asleep while he was driving." Jun whispered, tears filling in his eyes.
"How are you, Jun?" Nino asked.
"I try to be strong for Satoshi and Sho, but it's hard, if Sho..." Jun's voice died and the younger started to cry loudly.

Nino hugged him and kissed his lips lovingly.

"We haven't said to Sho about us." Jun sobbed, his lover brushing his hair kindly.
"I know, but Sho is in good hands, he'll be all right and we‘ll tell him when he'll wake up." Nino whispered softly.
"I'm afraid, Kazu, I'm afraid for Sho but for Toshi too, if Sho dies, Satoshi won't handle it and me too." Jun cried.
"Don't worry, Sho is strong and he knows Satoshi needs him, that's why he'll be all right." Nino kissed his boyfriend again and sat next to him while Aiba was asking for some news.

In this kind of situation, time was your first enemy. Seconds seemed to be hours and hours seemed to be days. You looked at the empty corridor with despair, hoping a good news and dreading the worst. In this case, doctors could be your best friend like your worst enemy. After four hours, a man walked toward the three friends.

"Ano~ you're Sakurai-san’s friends?"
"Yes, how is he, sensei?!" Ohno asked trying to stay calm.
"Ano~ Sakurai-san had lost a lot of blood and had very important injuries..." The doctor started.
"And?"
"And we almost lost him several times but he seemed to want to survive." The doctor smiled.
"He's safe? Oh God, thank you!" Ohno whispered.
"He's safe but he is in coma, Ohno-san and we don't know if he'll wake up and when. I'm sorry." The doctor bowed.

Ohno looked at him with wide eyes and fell on the ground, tears rolling on his cheeks. His legs couldn't support him anymore, he felt so weak, so useless.

"He is in coma..." Ohno whispered, didn’t want to believe it.
"I'm sorry but his head had very bad injuries. Ah, and there was this bag in his car, I think it's for you. You can see him and speak to him, it's something good, some patients remembered when their families spoke to them." The doctor bowed and left.

Ohno opened the bag and found a box with a letter.

My Satoshi,

I write this letter on the shooting of my drama. I know I'm very busy and I neglected you too much these past months. I'm sorry. If I accepted this drama and this SP, it was for my parents and for you. I always admired you as an amazing singer and dancer but as a great actor too and I wanted you to be proud of me. I promise when I'll finish this work, I'll take you in a trip just both of us and we'll fish together many maguro ^^ I know you're worried about me but don't be, I'm all right, just a bit tired. I bought you a present for your birthday, after all, it's in two days and I'll cancel all my meetings to be with you on the most beautiful day of the year, because, it's the day you're born, that's why I think it's my favorite date. I know perfectly our relationship must stay secret and I really won’t be able to give you a proper ceremony but I would like you to marry me, not on the paper but in your heart. I want you to be mine for the rest of our lives that's why I bought you this ring. I know maybe it's too much but I don't care because I love you more than anything, more than my own life. You are my life, my oxygen, my reason to live every day. Without you, I can't breathe, I can't handle the worst things that can happen. I'm sorry if I'm not the most demonstrative boyfriend of the world but you know it's my character, I'm not really comfortable in showing my feelings but I promise I'll make more effort to show you how you're important to me and how I need your presence by my side everyday and forever. I promise I'll always be there for you and will always love you. Ohno Satoshi, will you marry me?

Sakurai Sho.

Ohno opened the box with shaking hands. There was a beautiful silver ring. Inside of the ring, there was an inscription, with all my love, Sho. And outside too, don't you dare touch my Satoshi!
Ohno laughed nervously and put the ring on his finger.

"Baka, I love you too." Ohno chuckled, tears rolling on his cheeks.

Jun helped him to stand up and they joined the room number five. When they entered into the place, Ohno's heart almost stopped. Sho was there, laying on the bed, an oxygen mask covering his mouth and many machines linking his body to keep an eye on his heart. His face was very pale, some bruises were settled on his cheeks and his eyes were closed. Sho was breathing at the same rythm of the machine.

"He can't breathe alone." A nurse apologized with a sad smile. "If you need something or if one of the machine rings, call me immediately." She bowed and left.

Ohno sat on a chair next to his lover and took his hand. The older shivered, Sho's hand was so cold! A sad smile appeared on his face when he saw the same ring as his on the left finger. Ohno wanted to hug him, he wanted to touch his face but all these tubes prevented him to do it.

"Sho~ come back, I need you." Ohno whispered, tears filling his eyes.

Ohno could hear his band mates crying and he believed his heart would stop in the next second. The sleepy man wanted to shake his lover, to call desperately his name, to make him come back but he knew it wouldn't change anything, Sho wasn't with him anymore. He knew deep inside him there were few chance the rapper would come back from his coma. But he didn't want to give up, Sho was a strong man, his will was as powerful as the sky and he could open his eyes if Ohno gave him the strength and the wish.

"Sho, you know, I'm nothing without you." Ohno took a deep breath. He raised his eyes when he felt Jun's arms around him and started to cry loudly. He looked at Sho as if the rapper would open his eyes in the next second but still nothing. Ohno buried his face in Jun's neck and let his pain left his body. Tears rolled down on his eyes like a waterfall and sobs escaped his mouth as if it would erase his sadness and his grief.

****

I blinked. I opened my eyes with difficulty and raised my head. Where was I? My look fell on my band mates and my heart stopped when I saw Ohno in Jun's arms, crying like he never did before. Tears were covering his whole chubby face, sobs resounding in the room. Why my lover was crying like that, I hated when Ohno cried in pain, it was horrible for me.

"Why are you crying, baby?" I asked but Ohno didn't respond and tightened his grip on Jun's shirt. "Satoshi?" I repeated, panic invading my body. But my favorite sleepy man didn't answer again.

I stood up and ran in his arm but when I wanted to touch him, my hand crossed his body and I screamed. I tried again but again, my hand crossed Satoshi's arm. I turned my head and screamed. I was there, on the bed, my eyes closed and a mask on my face. Why was I in this bed?! I stroked my temple. Calm down, Sho, don't panic, think! I closed my eyes and flash appeared in my mind. I was in my car and...I fell asleep, there was this van in front of me and... I.... I put my hand on my mouth. Oh no! I fell asleep and my car crashed in the van! Seeing my body like that, I was obviously in coma. Oh no! What did I do?! I had promised Satoshi I'll be all right and I won’t come back too late. A pain crossed my heart. Satoshi. Satoshi. My baby. I turned my head again to see my chubby boy still crying in Jun's neck who tried to keep his tears and comforted his best friend. Aiba and Nino were already crying in the corner of the room. A smile appeared on my lips. Luckily, there was Jun next to my lover. I knew how Satoshi and him were close and I knew he needed our younger member, now. Jun was the best to comfort Satoshi. He always was the person who understood him better than no one else, even than me. There was something special between them even if I knew Jun was dating Nino. They wanted to hide it but I wasn't completely stupid and I saw them kissing in the green room.

"Come on, Satoshi, you need to sleep, we'll come back tomorrow." Jun said but Satoshi shook his head stubbornly and pushed Jun away.
"No, I stay with Sho." Ohno whispered with determination.

Satoshi... My baby... Tears were rolling down on my cheeks in front of his despair. I wanted to hug him, I wanted to say all will be all right, that he needed to sleep, but he didn't hear my voice.

"I stay with Sho. If he wakes up..." Ohno sobbed, taking my hand.

No Satoshi. Leave. Don't make you suffer more. I won't come back, I don't know how to come back and I don't know if I really want to. I shook my head. What was I saying?

"I stay with Sho!" Ohno repeated.
"Satoshi..." Nino put his hand on my lover's arm.
"Don't touch me, Nino. Are you deaf? I can't let Sho alone, he hates hospitals since Masaki's surgery." Ohno looked at his friend with pleading eyes and I cried.

Satoshi...you remember?! It was true. After Masaki's surgery, I said I hated hospitals and I didn't want to return there for one of my friend because I didn't want another tragedy. Satoshi remembered it?! He really listened to me when I spoke, I knew it, but sometimes, he seemed so far away from earth that you could believe he didn't listen to you. When I lowered my eyes, happiness crossed my heart seeing the ring around Satoshi's finger. He opened his gift, he put his ring, he accepted my wish to marry him.

"You must wake up, Sho. It's my birthday tomorrow and I have already opened my gift. See, your ring is really beautiful on my finger, ne?" Satoshi smiled through his tears. Jun sighed and nodded, he left the room and when he came back, kissed Satoshi's head.
"I asked the nurse if you could stay and she said yes.  We'll come back tomorrow, but sleep a little, Toshi, okay?" Jun asked and my lover nodded, grateful.

I knew I could count on Jun. He was the best for that. I thought he threatened the nurse if Satoshi was allowed to stay with me. When they left, Satoshi's tears stopped and he took my hand, laying his head on the edge of the bed.

"I'll always be there for you my Sho-chan, take some rest and come back, ne?" Ohno whispered and closed his eyes.

What could I do? I was lost. Even if I didn't know how to return into my body, I wasn't really ready. I couldn't explain why but there was something that told me to wait a little longer. For the frist time in my life, I was free. Nobody needed my work, my advice or something else. I could stay without doing something or rushing for what God would know. I wasn't a Sakurai anymore, I was just Sho, a man in coma. No pressure, no work and no duty. I was ashamed to feel so relieve when the love of my life was crying and waiting for my return. To be honest, Satoshi was the only thing which prevented me to give up. Of course, I loved my other band mates and my parents but honestly, my favorite chubby boy was the only one in my eyes. Sighing, I walked toward him and stroked his cheeks. My hand crossed his skin and sadness filled my heart. I kissed his forehead lovingly, or tried and sat on the sofa, closing my eyes.

"Tadaima." I said, taking my shoes off.
"Okaeri, Sho." Ohno walked toward me with a smile.
"I missed you." I kissed his pouty lips and collapsed on the sofa.
"Me too." My lover climbed on my lap and kissed my neck.

I grabbed his face and caught his lips, slipping my tongue inside his mouth, making him moan in the kiss. I felt his hands taking off my shirt and hugged his thin body against me without breaking our kiss. His hands traveled on my chest and I shivered. I loved when Satoshi's beautiful hands were touching me like that. I almost ripped his shirt and bit his skin, leaving a red mark.

"Sho~" Satoshi moaned and I lifted him up in my arms, walking in our bedroom.

I laid my lover on the bed and stripped him completely, looking at the beautiful body in front of me. He was already hard, panting, his chest moving up and down. I climbed on top of him and attacked his neck, sucking and biting his tender skin. I could feel his hands in my hair, grabbing it with despair while I was sucking his nipples to make them hard. My hands traveled on his so beautiful white chest. I loved when Satoshi's skin was white and no suntan.

"Sho, I can't touch you." Ohno protested and I chuckled.

I stroked his cheek lovingly and he pushed me on my back. His hands unzipped my jeans and he threw it away with my boxer. His eyes fell on my hardness and a smile appeared on his lips. He kissed my lips a last time and moved his mouth toward my groin. Satoshi started to kiss and licked my thighs, stroking my butt softly.

"Satoshi." I groaned.

My lover smiled and swallowed my manhood making me moan loudly. I gripped his soft black hair and pushed on his head to make me touch the back of his throat. My hips started to move up and down, giving him the good rythm. He moaned in pleasure and vibrations almost made me come. I arched my head back and pushed harder on his head. I knew he loved it. One day, he told me he loved when he gave me blowjob and when I pushed on his head, crying in pleasure. If he loved it, what could I say?! His lips were born for blowjob and he could make me come in just one minute when his mouth swallowed my manhood.

"Satoshi, I'm coming." I gasped.
"Come inside me." He said, my cock still in his mouth.

My head arched on the pillow and I ejaculated in his wonderful mouth with a loud cry. Satoshi swallowed all and came back to my mouth. We kissed each other with passion, my hands stroking his body tirelessly. I pushed him on his back and touched his lips with my fingers.

"Suck." I just said and he smiled before swallowing my fingers with delight.

I circled my finger around his tight warm hole and pushed inside of him. He gasped silently and I waited a while before I added one more finger. When he literally fucked himself on my fingers, I took them out.

"You're so slutty, baby." I chuckled.
"You like it." Satoshi moaned and I put my dick against his hole.
"Are you ready for me?"
"Yes, Sho please, fuck me now!" Satoshi moaned and he gasped when I pushed inside him.
"Fuck, you're so tight." I whined, trying to wait for him to adjust himself to my size.

When he looked at me, I started to move first slowly and then, faster. My lover wrapped his legs around my waist and moved to meet my thrust at the good time and push me deeper.

"Sho!" Ohno screamed, his head falling back on the pillow.
"I've found it." I smiled, proud of myself.

I pushed harder, stroking my shaft against this so magical spot which made him crying my name like a song. His nails were scratching my back when I moved faster and I bit his neck, moaning against his skin.

"Sho, faster." Ohno begged.
"You drive me crazy, baby." I gasped and started to thrust harder, deeper and faster inside of him.

I could feel him tightening around me and I knew he was on the edge. I wasn't in a better state and grabbed his neglect cock to pump it at the same time of my thrust. His face was so beautiful! His eyes were closed, his cheeks red, sweats drops rolling on his skin and his mouth slightly opens to let his cries escape. I moved faster and his body arched when he came between our stomachs. His tightened hole made me come inside him in a loud moan and I collapsed on his warm chest, panting. I really loved sex with Satoshi, he always was wonderful and drove me crazy like earlier. I laid on my back and he hugged me tightly, kissing my chest.

"I love you." Satoshi whispered.
"I love you too, baby." I smiled and tightened my grip around him, closing my eyes with happiness...

Ohno opened his eyes, hopefully, maybe Sho would be awake, now! But his eyes shined in pain when he saw his lover still sleeping peacefully, his breath at the same rythm of the machine.

"I miss you, Sho." Ohno whispered, kissing his hand lovingly.

I looked at my lover with despair. Satoshi was so hopeful and it was so painful! I really hated seeing him in that state! He always was the kind of guy who stayed calm in all situation. He was sensitive, really sensitive that's why he was an amazing leader because he could listen to you whenever and knew when something was wrong. He never judged you and only helped you to understand and find the good way by yourself, without a word but just an attentive ear. As Jun he could read in your heart but he never forced you if you weren't ready. Maybe his world of fishes could heal all the grief... It was amazing how he seemed far away from us but was the closest person to us at the same time. He really listened when it was important and was always there if you needed him. All these beautiful parts of him made me fell bad for him.
Suddenly, the door of the bedroom opened and I saw my parents. They still looked so severe but my mum's eyes were shining and I guessed she just cried earlier.

"Ohno-san." My father bowed.

My mother ran toward my body and took my hand.

"Sho." She just said but I could feel all the despair of the world in this simple word.
"I'm sorry, Sakurai-san." Ohno whispered.
"It's not your fault, Ohno-kun." She smiled kindly through her tears.
"Why are you still with my son, don't you have work like your friends?!" My father asked coldly and Satoshi froze.
"I- I'm allowed to stay with him." Ohno bit his lip, anxious.
"My son is in coma because of you, why would you stay with him?!" My father shouted, angry.

No. No dad. Don't scream at Satoshi, it's not his fault, it's mine!

"Shouta!! How can you say this horrible thing?!" My mother exclaimed.
"It's true! If him and his friends weren't there, Sho would be alive, he would be a great newscaster and not an idiot idol!"
"Sho isn't an idiot, he is the most wonderful and kind man of the world." Ohno answered calmly.

I looked at my boyfriend, surprised. He stared at my father with a calm but determinate look, still holding my hand. When my father saw our linked fingers, he frowned.

"You! You... How did you dare?! You and my son..."
"I love him." Ohno simply said but I could feel the panic crossing his thin body.
"You... You're just disgusting, leave this bedroom and don't you dare touch my son again, freak!" My father shouted.

I panicked. No. No. No. No. Please, dad, don't chase Satoshi, don't chase my boyfriend! Please! No! I don't want, please! I need him, I love him more than anything! I grabbed my head with my hands, screaming and feeling a violent pain in my body.

"All right." Ohno said but when he released Sho's hand, the machine rang abruptly. "Sho!" Ohno panicked and a nurse rushed in the bedroom with a doctor.
"We're loosing him, hurry up!" The doctor said to the nurse.
"Sho, no, please, stay with me!" Ohno cried.
"Sho, hold on, son!" Shouta implored.
"I can't feel his heart!" The nurse cried.

To be continued...