Umi no shizukesa (the ocean's silence) chapter 1

[matsuaurore]

Title: Umi no shizukesa (the ocean's silence)
Author: MatsuAurore
Pairings: Juntoshi, Sakuraiba (side pairing)
Length: multichapter
Rating: NC-17 for this chapter.
Genre: Au, romance, drama, angst
Disclaimer: I only own the plot T.T but Jun owns Ohno's body xD sorry for the mistakes but english is not my first language and my nee-chan was too busy to check it. Most of the diving's scenes are true because I'm a diver that's why I used my own experience for this story ^^
Summary: Ohno looses his voice after a traumatic experience. He is desperate and alone, rejected by the others because of his silence. One day, he meets Jun, a young diver addicted to the sea. With Jun's help, Ohno discovers another world where the silence is the most precious thing. Together, they learn another language: the language of the sea.
A/N: Hi minna-san! This is  my first Juntoshi, I really loved writing this fic with my favorite pairing and with my passion, the sea. I hope you'll enjoy ^^ yoroshiku onegaishimasu~

Warning: Presence of rape's scene in this chapter! If you are not in the age or don't support it, please, don't read that ^^


Chapter 1:

Ohno looked at the sea through the window. Since his childhood, he loved the ocean. There was something which attracted him, maybe the colors, the sun shining on the waves or the liberty's feeling. This big gap blue seemed to call him like a mermaid's melody. He knew his life was there but couldn't acceed to it. Ohno sighed. Since this day, he was in a jail, an invisible jail which spoiled his life, a jail of silence. Since two years, he tried to speak but failed. None sound wanted to cross his mouth. At the beginning, his friends were kind and patient, thinking it was just a phase, but with the time, they get tired of his silence and became horrible with the sleepy man. They hid his stuff and laughed at him. One day, Ohno found a message on his desk: if you want a friend, call this number. Oh, sorry, you can't speak!

Tears filled Ohno's eyes; a violent pain crossed his heart. Why did he lose his voice? Why this accident happened? Kami-sama took his life this day. He tried to be strong but wasn't Superman, he wanted a friend, just one friend who would understand him and wouldn't judge him. Despite the bullying, he worked hard to escape to his painful fate, hoping one day, he could be happy again.

Ohno jumped when he saw the clock. Standing up, he walked to his classroom for his art's lesson, praying his classmates would let him alone. When he entered in the room and walked toward his desk, he fell on the ground.

"Sorry the dumb." Yamada Shouta smirked before leaving.

Ohno stood up and sat on his chair. He couldn't cry, he didn't want to cry! He laid his head on his arms, looking at the sky through the window. Sometimes, he wanted to be a bird to fly in the clouds, to play with the wind. Sometimes, he wanted to be a dolphin or a fish, to swim in the sea, to play with the waves. Sometimes, he wanted to be free. Maybe he had to die; maybe the heaven or the hell would be better than his life on earth.

The teacher arrived and began the lesson. Ohno hated the school even if he studied his passion, art. He hated the pity in the teacher's eyes when they learned his problem. The teachers were the worst because they thought his handicap made him silly. He couldn't speak but was able to think, to write, to understand the exercices. But with them, if you couldn't speak, you couldn't think.

"Who want to answer?" The teacher asked.

"Maybe Ohno-kun?" A voice said and all the class laughed.

Ohno lowered his eyes, staring at his hands, ashamed. During two hours, he stared at the sky, lost in his own world, in his paradise which existed just in his imagination. When the teacher left, Yamada walked toward Ohno who raised his eyes. The young student caught his arm and took him in the toilets with his friends. He threw the silent man on the floor and smirked.

"If I watered you, would you be able to speak?" Shouta asked.

Ohno opened his mouth but no sound came. Yamada took a bottle of cold water and threw it on the sleepy man but still no sound.

"Mmm, it's not enough." Yamada mumbled, thinking.

He caught Ohno's neck and put his head in the toilet. Ohno struggled. He couldn't breath but Yamada didn't want to release him. After a moment, he raised Ohno's by his hair who coughed and whimpered silently, spiting water.

"Still nothing?" Yamada asked before doing it again.

He released Ohno after three times and left. Ohno coughed, his clothes were wet, and shivers were crossing his body. He curled in a small ball in the corner of the room and closed his eyes, trying to keep his tears. His father always said he must be as strong as possible, despite the difficulties which could happened in his life. He said somewhere; there always was someone in a worst situation. He had a house, he had a family who loved him more than anything, he could eat and go to school, so, he must be strong. But his father didn't think his son's life would turn into hell. He didn't expect his little baby would have to bear all these things. But Ohno followed his father's advice and tried to be strong, keep his tears and to think tomorrow will be better. And he succeeds! In two years, he had practically never cried, keeping his grief inside his chest, gagging it with all his strenght. But he failed in one point. His smile. Before this horrible day, Ohno's smile was often on his face. He wasn't a speaking person, preferring to stay silent but listening very well the conversations. He didn't speak much but showed a beautiful smile which made you feel better and made you smile in return. But now, this smile had disappeared forever. There was just sadness shinning in his cute eyes and sometimes, on his whole face even when he made fakes smiles to the strangers. His heart wasn't here anymore. He didn't have the heart to show a true smile again.

After an eternity, he calmed down and left the toilets to run at his apartment. He walked in the bathroom and took a long and hot shower, tears rolling on his cheeks at the same time that the water. Ohno looked at his chest in the mirror. There always was this big and awful scar which didn't want to leave his nape and made him everyday remember this night. Ohno scratched the scar with the hope it could disappear but his nape just became red. Angry, the sleepy man pushed his nails in the nape and scraped it violently with despair. "Leave my body! Leave my body, rubbish!" Ohno cried in his mind.

Soon, drops of blood appeared and he bit his lips to prevent himself to cry. Ohno lowered his hand and the blood rolled on his chest. The sleepy man didn't even feel the pain, the grief in his heart and the sadness for not being able to erase his scar were too strong. Ohno let himself fall on the ground and curled again. Shivering, he quickly fell asleep, exhausted.

The blood, the blood on his body, the cries!

"Noooo!!!"  Ohno screamed before fainting.

Ohno stood up violently. Drops of sweats were rolling on his face and his whole body was shaking. This dream. Again. The sleepy man sighed and looked at his clock. 6 am. He knew he wouldn't be able to fall asleep, now and walked toward his desk and grabbed his diary.

25/11/xxxx

Dear diary,

Yamada did it again. He put my head in the toilet. I couldn't breath, it was horrible! I hoped I could scream but still nothing. Why can't I speak? Why there is this wall of silence between the world and me? But I'm not sad because I hope one day, I'll be able to touch the sea, to swim and play with the waves like a dolphin or a fish. I want a friend, I would like to be able to speak and maybe Yamada would be my friend if I had a voice. I try everyday but my throat doesn't want, I don't understand why. Maybe it's my fate, maybe I haven't the right to speak, maybe I don't deserve to speak... It's so hard, I want to sing, I want to answer the teacher's questions, I want to talk with the other about the girls or stupid subjects. I want to moan because the weather is bad or because I had a bad mark but I can't. When I don't wear any clothes, I still can see it. The scar. This deep and horrible scar on my chest. I try everyday to erase it but the scar doesn't want to disappear. Maybe if I cut my nape with a knife, I could erase it? I have the feelling to be a dog with this mark... I think I haven't the right to forget this trauma but it's nothing, I'm use of it. It's my present, it's my daily life. But I have to be strong, I can't cry, I don't want to cry!

Satoshi the dumb

Ohno started to write a diary two years ago, it was his psychologist who adviced him to write his feelings to feel better. That's why, Ohno respected it. Everydays, he wrote his daily. His diary was his best friend, it couldn't judge him and helped him to feel a little bit better. All the tears he didn't shed, were release through his writing. Sighing, Ohno closed his notebook and grabbed his stuff. He had a lesson and couldn't miss it despite his desire to stay at home and escape of Yamada.

The morning's lesson passed quickly and at the lunch, he walked on the roof, his favorite place, to eat in peace. Ohno was lost in his thoughts when suddenly, a hand covered his mouth and someone pushed him against the wall. His eyes widened at the view of Yamada and he knew it wasn't good for him. The young man smirked in front of the fear in Ohno's eyes and one of his hand caught the silent man's chin.

"I'll make you speak!!" Yamada said before smaking his lips against Ohno's.

Ohno tried to push the young man away but failed, he was too strong. The sleepy man felt Yamada's hand which unzipped his jean and started to panic. He wanted to scream, he must scream but the sound didn't want to come. Yamada smirked and, turning Ohno in front of the wall, he pushed his cock inside the poor silent man. Tears filled Satoshi's eyes while the younger started to move. Satoshi opened his mouth, trying to call someone but his voice still didn't want to come, he wanted to scream in pain, fire invading his back while Yamada moved inside him. Ohno thought he'll faint in front of this torture and his nails scratched the wall, his mouth opening to let silent screams escapes. After a while, Yamada released inside him in a groan. He threw Ohno on the ground and put his jean on looking at the silent man with scorn.

"You're just a scrap!" The man said before leaving.

Ohno fell on the ground, crying. This time, he couldn't keep his tears. Why? Why the world was against him? Why he couldn't be happy? Didn't he deserve happiness? Did he deserve this violence?

With difficulty, he stood up, a pain crossing his body. Ohno jumped when he felt something rolling on his thigh and lowered his eyes. There was blood, lot of blood. His eyes widened because of the view and a flash of his trauma appeared in his mind. A silent scream crossed his mouth and his face blanked before he fainted.

****

Ohno blinked. He opened his eyes and jumped when he saw he was in a bed.

"Do you feel better?" A gentle voice asked.

Ohno turned his head and saw a young nurse next to him. He nodded and the woman smiled.

"A student found you on the roof of your school. You fainted."

Ohno's face became white at her words. He remembered what Yamada did to him and tears started to roll on his cheeks.

"Are you alright, Ohno-san?" The nurse panicked. "I call a doctor." She added an rushed outside.

Ohno sobbed silently. It wasn't possible, he couldn't bear more. He stood up, his body hurt like the hell because of Yamada's rape but he didn't care. He left his bedroom and walked outside of the hospital, slowly. His eyes were empty, there just were tears rolling on his face.

He took a taxi and walked toward the sea, he wanted to see the ocean for the last time in his life. Tears rolled on his pale cheeks. He couldn't live, he didn't want to live anymore. The sun shined on the water, creating wonderful colors. It seemed there were lot of stars on the water, it was so beautiful. The wind blew soflty and few waves scratched on the sand. Peace lived in this place as if all the adversity of the world couldn't reach this paradise. Ohno sighed. He walked in the water and touched it with the tip of his fingers. It was cold and hot at the same time, cold because of the temperature, hot because of the beauty of this world. A little fish swam next to Ohno and bit gently the tip of his thumb, making the sleepy man smiled sadly.

"Kaa-chan, Oto-san, gomen. I tried to live without you, I tried to bear all this, but I failed. I'm sorry for being such a shame for you two." Ohno thought, staring at the beautiful horizon.

Satoshi left the beach and walked toward the road. Knowing, soon, his pain will disappear, he felt lighter. He waited the fire get red and when he saw a car arriving made a step on the road. The driver honked but Ohno continued and the car tried to brake. The sleepy man closed his eyes and soon, felt a pain crossing his body.

"Are you all right?" A voice asked, panicked and Satoshi opened his eyes to see a beautiful man on top of him. He was lying on the side of the road, some bruises on his arms and a stressed man looking at him. What happened? Why he was still alive?

With difficulty, he stood up and saw the car on the other side.

"You're lucky; I changed my car's way at the good time. Why did you cross the road without looking?" The man asked softly.

Ohno opened his mouth, but no sound came. He looked at the man and blinked in front of his beauty. He had short black hair, a kind look and two cute moles under and above his lips. The man stroked Ohno's cheek, still worried.

"Are you all right? You seem very chocked." The man repeated before adding. "I'm Matsumoto Jun, nice to meet you...."

To be continued...

A/N: Sorry, I know I’m very horrible with our Ohchan in this fic but it’s for the story, I love him, he is my Niban but I like to martyr him, it’s him who said he was a DoM after all xD