If you say so (chapter 6)
Title: If you say so
Author: Matsuaurore
Banner: Lilisan31 <3
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17
Pairing: Ohmiya, Sakumoto
Genre: Au, angst, romance, drama
Summary: Nino and Ohno were living a life full of happiness and love until Nino ran away for a mysterious reason, leaving only a letter to his boyfriend who was decided to pursue him until the end of the world.
Part 6:
I'll put my armor on,
Show you how strong I am
I'll put my armor on,
I'll show you that I am
I'm unstoppable
I'm a Porsche with no brakes
I'm invincible
Yeah, I win every single game
I'm so powerful
I don't need batteries to play
I'm so confident
I'm unstoppable today
Unstoppable today
I'm unstoppable today
Nino ‘stared’ at his hands uncomfortably, not knowing what to say. The situation was weird, very weird. Being at the same table than the love of his life and his family wasn’t something he would end liking. Nino knew Ohno didn’t do that to make him suffer, wanting to get closer to him as a friend but the younger wasn’t ready and would probably never be ready to behave like a good friend and uncle with his ex-lover’s son.
“Hum… It’s delicious, Suzuka-san…”
“Thank you! Satoshi doesn’t praise me a lot for my cooking…” She pouted.
“Because you’ve always hired a cook.” Ohno mumbled.
“Well, at least, I’m trying.” Suzuka snapped. Nino bit his lip, fearing an argument between the couple.
“It’s a good beginning! You’ll get even better with more practice!”
“Thank you Nino-kun. So, do you work or…”
“Not for the moment. I’m trying to become completely independent before trying to find something.”
“It must be hard, they don’t offer many jobs for blind people…”
“Suzuka!”
“It’s okay, Ohchan.” Nino smiled. “You’re right but I hope I’ll find something, it’s boring to stay in your apartment all day… And you? I’m surprised your marriage was allowed as Ohno is still very famous.”
“Well, I was pregnant so, we didn’t really have the choice. And Satoshi had to take his responsibilities.”
“I see.” Nino smiled kindly but deep inside was boiling. How did she dare talking as if everything was Ohno’s fault? You had to be two in this story to make a child.
“I was scared Satoshi wouldn’t be a good father, it’s as if he is in another world but I was wrong, he did
great with Kazu.”
“I was sure Ohchan would make a great father. He looks lost in his own world but he always takes care of the persons he loves.” Nino said bluntly before blushing when nobody answered.
“Thank you Kazu…”
“You two look so close, why didn’t you get in touch?” Suzuka asked ignoring Ohno’s dark look.
“I didn’t want to bother him with my blindness.”
“You’re only his friend, why would it have bothered him? It’s not as if you were living with him. Well, in a way, it was maybe a good decision because Satoshi needed to be free since I was pregnant.”
“Excuse me, I… I need to use your toilets.” Nino got up quickly, biting his lip.
“Okay… Take your time…” Suzuka smiled. “Did I say something wrong?” The woman turned toward Ohno who sighed and stood up to follow Nino.
“You talk before thinking, like always. I’ll check if he is fine.”
Nino rinsed his face with a sigh, clearly thinking about a way to escape to this situation. At first, he had thought that Suzuka was a kind woman but the reality was far from what he imagined. She wasn’t really a bitch… It’s just that she…
“Speaks without thinking about other’s feelings.” A voice made him jump.
“Ohchan?”
“You must be in deep thoughts if you didn’t hear me coming.” Ohno chuckled.
“Well, I was thinking.”
“I’m sorry for my wife, she can be harsh without wanting it…”
“Ohchan, don’t play the dumb one, you perfectly know she does that on purpose.”
“What do you mean?” Ohno frowned, closing the door behind him.
“Being blind has its advantages. I can feel the intonations of your voice better than normal people. She said that on purpose. There was venom in her voice. I don’t know if it was against me or you, but she isn’t as innocent as you think she is.”
“Are you saying my wife is nasty?”
“Take it as you want. Let’s go back before she finds it weird it takes us so long.”
“No. I want your answer.” Ohno grabbed his arm to stop him.
“What do you want to hear, Ohchan? That you deserve better than her? That she isn’t a nice person?”
“At least, she won’t abandon me.” Ohno replied before biting his lip. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…”
“You’re right, she will never abandon you. Because she is too egoist to think about someone else than herself. Maybe I made you suffer because of my start but I did it for you, not for myself. Because it’s what true love is. You think about the other before yourself. Oh yes, it would have been possible to stay together, but if I had done that, it would have just meant I thought about the easiest way for MY own person and not for you.” Nino pulled away and joined the living room where Suzuka was waiting with a bored face. “I’m sorry, Suzuka-san, I have to go.”
“Now? But we haven’t finished…”
“I know but I have an emergency… It was delicious, thank you for the dinner…” Nino bowed and grabbed
Tsuki’s harness before leaving the apartment to join his.
“What are you doing here, J?” The young man sighed while taking off his shoes.
“How did you guess I was here?” Jun asked, leaving the sofa.
“Your perfume.”
“Ah shit, discovered.” Jun chuckled.
“You wouldn’t make a good thief.” Nino smiled.
“How did it go?”
“Jeez, are you my mother? You’re worse than Masaki…”
“He was there but he left because of an emergency…”
“Seriously, you two love to make a hell of my life. What do you want to know? It was a disaster of course.
I don’t even know why I came anyway.”
“I’m sorry…”
“Don’t be, it’s not your fault but mine for agreeing to come.”
“She is a bitch, ne?”
“Dunno. I can’t clearly make my own opinion as she is Ohchan’s wife, I’m not objective…”
“Kazu… Do you want to be with Sato again?’
“Eh? No, what a weird question!”
“You know… I’m not blind but I’m not idiot either, I can feel it when you lie.”
“I have decided to leave him three years ago, it’s not to go back to him now and plus, he has his family.”
“He loves you, not her.”
“Are you in his head?! Don’t try to put your nose in things that don’t concern you!”
“I want you to be happy!”
“I understand that but I won’t be happy if you try to make us go back together. I love him, even more than before but he has his career and his son. If he was just married, maybe I wouldn’t have seen things like that but his son needs him and his mother, he needs stability and we both know that Suzuka wouldn’t let Ohchan go without taking her revenge, even if it meant hurting their son. She is the kind of woman who doesn’t think about the others. She would destroy Ohchan’s career and she would prevent him to see his son. Can you understand me? I don’t give a shit about this woman, I know I’m able to steal her Ohchan whenever I want but I love Satoshi too much to separate him and his son.”
“I understand Kazu… And I respect your choice, it’s a beautiful choice. But I don’t agree when you say that without his son, you would have stolen Ohno from this woman. Because I know you and you are not the kind of man able to do that. And you don’t have enough self-confidence to think that you can have him so easily.”
“Maybe… but there is an innocent child in this story and I won’t prevent him to have his father… And even without him, I don’t think I would go back to Ohchan… My life is already a mess, I can be so harsh with you and Aiba, I don’t want to act like an asshole with Ohchan… I haven’t accepted my blindness, Jun… I struggle everyday not to break down, I try everyday to think there are people in worst situation than mine and that I can’t complain… But I just want to yell, to cry and ask ‘why?’… What did I do to deserve that?! Life stole my eyes and stole the love of my life, leaving me only darkness and pain! I have never done anything wrong to deserve that! There are people who kill, who rape, who can destroy everything without any compassion, so why???!!” Nino sobbed. “I never deserved such a fate. But I have to live with that, to be brave, to accept my state and move on.”
“Maybe you would accept your state better if there was a man in your life…”
“The man of my life was Ohchan and nobody will ever replace him, Jun. And I can’t even think about having sex when I’m like that.”
“Being blind doesn’t prevent sex…”
“What a boring thing for a normal person to fuck a blind man! Who would like that?? Who would like to live with someone who is not even able to cook spaghettis?!”
“You know, Kazu, I would.” Jun said sadly. “It wouldn’t bother me. You have a very bad view of people but there are good persons who wouldn’t care to be with someone blind…”
“Then, it’s in another world. How do you want I believe in your words when everyday, I hear people judging me and insulting me because I need help in a konbini or for other simply things. The last time I talk with someone about my wish to have a baby, the person smirked, saying that blind people couldn’t take care of a baby and that it should be forbidden for us to have children. So, where are your good persons, Jun? Because if they exist, they are not living in my world. My world, is ugly, Jun. In my reality, people are cruel, we bother them because of our handicap. In my reality, Jun, there isn’t any happy ending for people like me.”
“Don’t you think it’s just because you choose the easiest way? I know that people like you described exist. I have heard them when we were together but I also have seen good people who helped you in the metro, who let you their seat in the train, who helped you to get up when you fell in the street. I know we don’t live in a world made of teddy bears and skittles but luckily, there are also good people, you just don’t want to see them because you are scared, Kazu. You are scared to be judged, to show your true self. You are scared to be hurt. If you keep thinking like that, you will never meet a wonderful man who will see you like the most beautiful person of his life, who won’t give a shit about your blindness and who will feel lucky everyday to wake up next to a wonderful guy like you. For me, this person is Satoshi and even if I understand the fact you think about his son, I don’t understand why you give up without trying. You two could find a way, you could fight… Giving up without trying only means escaping and you are not like that, Kazu. You’re a fighter, you’re strong and you never give up when you meet an obstacle. But I love you and I won’t interfere anymore… Think about what I have said, please…”
“Thank you… Good night, J…”
“Good night Kaz’.” Jun sighed and left, stroking Tsuki’s head.
Nino took a long hot bath before climbing in his bed, hugging his dog against him. Tsuki licked his master’s hand, whining sadly, as if he understood Nino’s sadness and tried to comfort him.
“Thank you for being here, Tsu… I’m trying to be strong but it’s so hard… I should move in another town, being next to him is painful, I don’t know if I’ll support it a long time… I thought leaving him was a good idea but when I think about it maybe I should have been egoist… I did all that because I love him but sometimes, it’s better to think about yourself… When I hear his wife talking as if she was the center of the world, I really wonder why he is with her… There is his son but being with a wife who doesn’t respect you is not better for your child, don’t you think?”
Tsuki barked under his laugh.
“You always agree with me anyway… Oyasumi, Tsu.” Nino kissed the soft fur before falling asleep.
*****
Nino yawned, closing his door with Tsuki against his leg. The night had been horrible. He had dreamt about Ohno, about their life together before his start and everything was wonderful until he had to wake up. Of course, he was in a bad mood now. Aiba had to pick him up to bring him to the association to work on his ‘lessons’ but Nino was scared to see his cheerful friend and tell him to fuck off at the second the atmosphere would become too happy for his sanity.
“Again in a bad mood? You look like MatsuJun in the morning…” Aiba chuckled.
“Well, he is right, mornings suck.” Nino mumbled.
“Jun, told me for yesterday, I’m sorry it didn’t go well…”
“Not your fault.” Nino shrugged. “Should we go?”
At this moment, the door next to his opened, revealing a tired Ohno.
“Ohayou, Ohno-san…”
“Good morning, Aiba-san. Hello, Kazu… How are you?”
“Fine…”
“Where are you going?”
“It doesn’t concern y…”
“To the association, Nino has some lessons today.” Aiba grinned.
“Oh… It seems interesting…”
“Do you want to go?!”
“Masaki!!!”
“I don’t want to disturb you…”
“It would help me a lot because I have lots of things to do today! And Nino is in a bad mood so, he will
yell at me for sure!” Aiba pouted.
“Then, with pleasure…” Ohno grinned.
Nino was about to protest when Aiba discreetly slapped his head.
“Don’t push him away, it would be cruel and you can have him back if you really want to.”
“I’m going to rip your balls and Jun’s one day.” Nino groaned.
“Don’t be like that, one day you will mostly kiss us for being so great friends.” Aiba grinned.
The little group climbed in Aiba’s car, an uncomfortable silence wining the atmosphere. Nino was sulking, Ohno was wondering if he was at his place and Aiba was trying to find a way to cheer them up.
“So, Ohno-kun, you will assist me in Nino’s lessons. Today, he has Braille and he also has to get better into finding his way in new places.”
“O-kay… This place is amazing…” Ohno’s eyes widened when they entered the building.
“It’s small but we have lots of students.” Aiba led them toward a sort of library where they sat. The room was huge, with lots of books certainly written in Braille. Some people were concentrated on their books, their finger on the paper, following the lines.
“Have you brought your book, Nino?”
“I’m not a kid, of course I have.” Nino muttered, putting a big book on the table.
“Page 300, we stopped when Myron was about to get killed.”
“What is it?”
“A thriller. A book of Harlan Coben, he is such a great writer, Nino also loves him. It’s better to practice
because there are more difficult words.”
“Oh…”
“Nino has to read the pages and I control if he is right in mine.” Aiba showed the same book that wasn’t in Braille.
“You don’t even need it, you know how to read Braille.” Nino muttered.
“I prefer to be sure. Do you want to try, Ohno-kun?”
“Ano… Why not?”
Discreetly, Aiba let him his seat and showed him what to do while Nino was starting to read with his
finger. The younger was stiffed but as seconds passed, started to get used and to smile a bit. Aiba had left quickly, leaving them alone and Ohno found a real pleasure in sharing this moment with his ex-lover.
“You’ve made a mistake here. It’s ‘finger print’.”
“Ah yes, I always make the same mistake for this word, I don’t like it.” Nino pouted.
“But you read so well, I’m impressed, Braille is very hard…”
“It’s not easy but you have to learn it quickly because unfortunately, I need it for lots of things.”
They spent two hours together, Ohno correcting Nino when he made a mistake and the two friends sometimes laughing for silly things.
The singer followed his ex-lover when Aiba came back to lead them in the garden where Nino had to follow a path his friend had explained him, only having Tsuki by his side.
“He does great, I’m very impressed.”
“Yes, he has a lot to learn yet, but he is good. He has some problems to find his way and to cook but he
will get better with some training.”
“I feel so stupid when I look at him. He is so brave, he learns so impressing things… I’m proud of him…”
“Lots of people think that blind persons can’t do anything but sit on a sofa and wait all day for the death to come. But with lots of training, they can act like normal persons.”
“I saw that when Nino held Kazu in his arms… He was a lot more careful than normal people, I wasn’t scared at all.”
“Do you know he can even prepare Manoa’s milk?”
“Really?”
“Yup, Jun has already asked him to be his baby-sitter. Nino can perfectly take care of a baby without making any mistake.”
“I feel scared when he goes out alone… If a car crushed him or if he lost his way…”
“I know this feeling but you will get used to it. Nino! Perfect! Let’s do that outside!”
“Outside???”
“He knows this garden too much, it’s too easy now, he will practice in the town.”
“But…”
“He is single, he has to learn how to be independent.”
“You mean…”
“We won’t come. He will leave alone with Tsuki and we will wait for him at the place I will ask him to go.”
“I…”
“I haven’t asked you to come to judge my lessons, so, you follow or you leave.” Aiba joined Nino to explain him everything. Okay, the younger had made things clear and it wasn’t his place to go against his
lessons. Even if it scared him like hell to know that Nino would be alone in an unknown place.
It’s in silence that Ohno followed Aiba in a café while Nino took another way with his dog.
“Relax, he is not going to war.” Aiba chuckled.
“Easy to speak.”Ohno mumbled.
“I have lost him in the street once.”
“WHAT???!! Are you talking about a child??? And you leave him again!”
“Nino is like a child for the moment. He learns how to live alone by himself. And don’t worry, losing him is not as bad as it looks like. Tsuki is here to protect him.”
Ohno growled and played with the spoon of his coffee, not even listening to Aiba’s babble, too anxious to follow a conversation.
“It’s weird…”
“What???”
“It’s been two hours, he should be here for a long time now…”
“And you stay here passively without doing anything?!!”
“Well, I can’t really find him.” Aiba shrugged. “Fuck, it rains now, Nino will catch a cold if he doesn’t hurry.”
“And you pretend to be his friend???!!!” Ohno yelled and left the café with panic under Aiba’s evil smile.
The animal lover grabbed his phone to send a message.
To: MatsuJun
From: Aiba
The plan is going well. Nino is lost and Ohno has left to find him as if it was the end of the world hehe (*^▽^*)
The reply was almost immediate, making Aiba chuckle.
To: Aiba
From: Jun
Perfect! You did great! Let’s see where it leads, I hope these two idiots will wake up! (*￣m￣)
To: MatsuJun
From: Aiba
Don’t tell Sho-chan anything or he will kill me! (ーー;)
To : Aiba
From : Jun
Don’t worry, our secret is well hidden (*°∀°)=3
Aiba laughed and closed his phone. “Let’s see what you are able to do for him, Ohno…”
Ohno ran under the rain with a panicked face, yelling Nino’s name with despair but there was no sign of his ex-lover wherever he went. If something happened to him, the singer wouldn’t handle it. Not a second time. Calling the police was a possibility but what would he say? That his blind friend was maybe lost because of a lesson of this stupid Aiba?!
After two hours of screaming and running under the rain, Ohno decided to go home to find some help. But to his surprise, the singer found Nino leaving his apartment at this moment.
”Kazu!!!!” Ohno screamed, jumping on him to pull him in a tight hug.
“Oh-chan?”
“I was so scared!!! Where were you???”
“At home… It was where Aiba told me to go…”
“WHAT???!!! This bastard!!!”
“Why are you drenched?”
“I have kept looking for you under the rain for two hours… I thought you were lost…”
“Oh… Come in, you will catch a cold if you stay outside.” Nino pulled him in his apartment and led him toward the bathroom. “Take off your clothes, you need a hot bath and dried clothes. I’ll give you mines.”
“Ano…”
“I’m blind, baka, you can take your clothes in front of me.” Nino rolled his eyes.
“True…”
Ohno climbed in the hot bath and let Nino washed his hair, enjoying his hands massaging his head.
“It’s been so long since you did that…”
“Mmmm…” Nino hummed.
“Thank you…”
“No problem. You looked for me under the rain, it’s normal to take care of you… Here, you’re all cleaned.” Nino chuckled. Ohno left the bath and stared at his ex-lover who was holding out some clothes to him.
“I have missed your laugh…”
“Ohchan…”
“It’s one of the things I love about you. Your smile… and your look… You have a so intense look, as if you could read my soul… I could get hard in one second when you stared at me with desire before.”
“Ohchan, It’s not…”
“Don’t bit your lip… It turns me on even more…”
“Are you crazy? You must have caught a cold for saying stupid things like that.”
“You’re so beautiful, Kazu. Still so sexy and hot… Your new shyness is even sexier…” Ohno walked toward him with dangerous eyes, the gamer moving back with a panicked face.
“Ohchan, it’s not funny, stop that...”
“And if I don’t want to?”
“I…” Nino gasped when a hand stroked his cheek, Ohno’s hot body pressed against him. “You’re too close and naked, stop that.”
“And also hard.” Ohno took his hand to put it against his hard member, making Nino gasp and blush. “It’s amazing, Kazu. Even after all this pain and these years, I still get hard just by staring at you. It’s how I managed to have my son. I imagined us making love when I was with Suzuka. Because you are the only one able to excite me and give a real orgasm…”
“Ohchan, don’t complicate this situation, you will regret it and you will make us suffer even more…”
“Don’t I excite you? Even if you can’t see me?” Ohno grabbed his hand tightly to put it on his wet naked body, making it travel on his torso to his navel and his cock. Nino shivered violently and tried to pull away with panic, the walls built around him falling one per one. “I was sure…” Ohno smiled when he felt Nino’s hard length. “Your body can’t lie to me…”
Their lips were almost touching, Ohno’s hot breath making Nino shiver, the atmosphere so intense that both of them would have been able to come without even touching. Nino whined, trying to take the control of his body back but his ex-lover chose this moment to lock their lips in a deep kiss, reducing the younger’s brain at the state of a sponge.
“Ohch…”
“Shhhh…” Ohno prevented him to protest with another deep kiss, his body shivering in happiness at the sensation of having his ex in this way again. Raising him in his arms, the older brought him in the bedroom and threw him on the bed, ignoring Nino’s protestations. Nino was in total panic despite the immense desire wining his body. They were about to make a big mistake, they were about to suffer again and he wasn’t ready to have sex when all he could do was moaning and kissing. “Let me see you in the same way you use to see me.” Ohno said huskily, touching and kissing every part of skin he could reach, his hands traveling on the gamer’s body before a full mouth swallowed his member.
Nino moaned loudly in surprise. He hadn’t had sex in three years and feeling his ex’s perfect mouth again was like paradise, making him come with shame in some seconds.
“That was fast.” Ohno chuckled.
“I haven’t had sex in three years, baka.” Nino blushed deeply.
“So, you’ll be able to get hard again.” The older grinned and caught his lips, undulating his body against him. Moaning and whining, Nino got hard in a record, breathing heavily, sweat covering his skin. It was too intense for his poor brain, only leaving him the right to breath a bit between Ohno’s impatient kisses. The singer prepared him quickly yet, with lot of care, not wanting to hurt him.
“Ohchan… ple-ase…” Nino finally started to beg under Ohno’s triumphant look.
“Hum?”
“Do me…”
Ohno didn’t need to hear more, slowly entering his ex-boyfriend with a loud moan. Nino was tighter than before, forcing him to bit his lip not to come right away. Without waiting more, the singer started to move quickly, devouring Nino’s neck like a thirsty vampire.
“Ahhhhh….” Nino moaned loudly. Everything was too intense with his blindness, the gamer could feel every sensation powerfully, all his senses awaken, every part of his skin burning under Ohno’s touches and mouth. When they were together, sex had always been amazing but right now, it felt even better. At least, being blind had this advantage. “Ohchan… Satoshi…” Nino moaned endlessly, biting his ex’s neck, tears of pleasure rolling down his cheeks. Even now, Ohno was able to make him feel beautiful.
“Kazu… I love you… You’re so am-azing… I won’t hold it anymore…” Ohno moved faster and harder, pumping his length, smacking their lips in clumsy kisses before both came in loud moans.
Ohno fell on his back, out of breath.
“Fuck… That was something…”
“Hum…” Nino nodded, not able to enjoy this moment as much as Ohno, knowing what would come after this big mistake. The gamer was waiting for Ohno’s apologies and start but a ring tone cut his thoughts.
“Moshi moshi?” Ohno answered. “Oh… I… I haven’t seen the hour… I’m sorry, I was working… Yes…”
Ohno got up in silence, taking his clothes back.
“I’m sorry, I have to go, Suzuka was waiting for me to eat…”
“It’s okay, good night…”
“Kazu…” Ohno bit his lip guiltily. “I’ll call you tomorrow…” The singer left the room, allowing Nino to sob, hugging his pillow tightly. Why things had to turn like that? He had tried to stop that but Ohno hadn’t had any pity and had made him surrender before leaving him to go back to his wife. Because it was obvious things would turn like that. They had fucked and then? Again, Nino was the one left alone.
Crying loudly, Nino took a shower, hating himself for being so weak when he was with Ohno. The pain in his heart he was desperately trying to burry was coming back, exploding in his heart like a hurricane destroying a country.
To: Kazu
From: Ohno
We have to talk, Kazu. I won’t let things like that. I’m deeply sorry for what I have done to you…I shouldn’t have… I don’t want to make you cry and suffer…
To: Ohno
From: Kazu
Don’t worry, you don’t owe me anything. We both know it was a mistake, I won’t say anything to your wife, don’t worry. Let’s keep this night as a beautiful memory even if it was wrong.
Nino closed his phone with a sob. Yes, everything was just a mistake. Ohno had his wife and he was nothing to him since his start. But how would he do to avoid him when his ex was living right next door? Did it mean he had to move elsewhere?
To be continued…
A/N: Sorry for the delay! RL doesn’t let me in peace with my exams coming in 16 days >< I hope you liked this chapter, I tried to include Ohno in Nino’s life, to make him discover his habits and to make Nino realize that being blind doesn’t bother Ohno at all. Of course, Junba played a big role in this chapter xD these devils have made such a plan to get them back together but Ohno’s wife is in the way and there is also his son who can’t be forgotten >< So, Ohno will have to make choices and Nino to let the walls around him fall if our dear leader decides to fight to have him back in his life. Suzuka won’t make things easy too because she ‘holds’ Ohno’s career in her hands and she also can decide to prevent him to see his son. Let’s see if Ohno will go back to her or will face his real feelings J See you next week; comments, even short ones are deeply <3
Author: Matsuaurore
Banner: Lilisan31 <3
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17
Pairing: Ohmiya, Sakumoto
Genre: Au, angst, romance, drama
Summary: Nino and Ohno were living a life full of happiness and love until Nino ran away for a mysterious reason, leaving only a letter to his boyfriend who was decided to pursue him until the end of the world.
Part 6:
I'll put my armor on,
Show you how strong I am
I'll put my armor on,
I'll show you that I am
I'm unstoppable
I'm a Porsche with no brakes
I'm invincible
Yeah, I win every single game
I'm so powerful
I don't need batteries to play
I'm so confident
I'm unstoppable today
Unstoppable today
I'm unstoppable today
Nino ‘stared’ at his hands uncomfortably, not knowing what to say. The situation was weird, very weird. Being at the same table than the love of his life and his family wasn’t something he would end liking. Nino knew Ohno didn’t do that to make him suffer, wanting to get closer to him as a friend but the younger wasn’t ready and would probably never be ready to behave like a good friend and uncle with his ex-lover’s son.
“Hum… It’s delicious, Suzuka-san…”
“Thank you! Satoshi doesn’t praise me a lot for my cooking…” She pouted.
“Because you’ve always hired a cook.” Ohno mumbled.
“Well, at least, I’m trying.” Suzuka snapped. Nino bit his lip, fearing an argument between the couple.
“It’s a good beginning! You’ll get even better with more practice!”
“Thank you Nino-kun. So, do you work or…”
“Not for the moment. I’m trying to become completely independent before trying to find something.”
“It must be hard, they don’t offer many jobs for blind people…”
“Suzuka!”
“It’s okay, Ohchan.” Nino smiled. “You’re right but I hope I’ll find something, it’s boring to stay in your apartment all day… And you? I’m surprised your marriage was allowed as Ohno is still very famous.”
“Well, I was pregnant so, we didn’t really have the choice. And Satoshi had to take his responsibilities.”
“I see.” Nino smiled kindly but deep inside was boiling. How did she dare talking as if everything was Ohno’s fault? You had to be two in this story to make a child.
“I was scared Satoshi wouldn’t be a good father, it’s as if he is in another world but I was wrong, he did
great with Kazu.”
“I was sure Ohchan would make a great father. He looks lost in his own world but he always takes care of the persons he loves.” Nino said bluntly before blushing when nobody answered.
“Thank you Kazu…”
“You two look so close, why didn’t you get in touch?” Suzuka asked ignoring Ohno’s dark look.
“I didn’t want to bother him with my blindness.”
“You’re only his friend, why would it have bothered him? It’s not as if you were living with him. Well, in a way, it was maybe a good decision because Satoshi needed to be free since I was pregnant.”
“Excuse me, I… I need to use your toilets.” Nino got up quickly, biting his lip.
“Okay… Take your time…” Suzuka smiled. “Did I say something wrong?” The woman turned toward Ohno who sighed and stood up to follow Nino.
“You talk before thinking, like always. I’ll check if he is fine.”
Nino rinsed his face with a sigh, clearly thinking about a way to escape to this situation. At first, he had thought that Suzuka was a kind woman but the reality was far from what he imagined. She wasn’t really a bitch… It’s just that she…
“Speaks without thinking about other’s feelings.” A voice made him jump.
“Ohchan?”
“You must be in deep thoughts if you didn’t hear me coming.” Ohno chuckled.
“Well, I was thinking.”
“I’m sorry for my wife, she can be harsh without wanting it…”
“Ohchan, don’t play the dumb one, you perfectly know she does that on purpose.”
“What do you mean?” Ohno frowned, closing the door behind him.
“Being blind has its advantages. I can feel the intonations of your voice better than normal people. She said that on purpose. There was venom in her voice. I don’t know if it was against me or you, but she isn’t as innocent as you think she is.”
“Are you saying my wife is nasty?”
“Take it as you want. Let’s go back before she finds it weird it takes us so long.”
“No. I want your answer.” Ohno grabbed his arm to stop him.
“What do you want to hear, Ohchan? That you deserve better than her? That she isn’t a nice person?”
“At least, she won’t abandon me.” Ohno replied before biting his lip. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…”
“You’re right, she will never abandon you. Because she is too egoist to think about someone else than herself. Maybe I made you suffer because of my start but I did it for you, not for myself. Because it’s what true love is. You think about the other before yourself. Oh yes, it would have been possible to stay together, but if I had done that, it would have just meant I thought about the easiest way for MY own person and not for you.” Nino pulled away and joined the living room where Suzuka was waiting with a bored face. “I’m sorry, Suzuka-san, I have to go.”
“Now? But we haven’t finished…”
“I know but I have an emergency… It was delicious, thank you for the dinner…” Nino bowed and grabbed
Tsuki’s harness before leaving the apartment to join his.
“What are you doing here, J?” The young man sighed while taking off his shoes.
“How did you guess I was here?” Jun asked, leaving the sofa.
“Your perfume.”
“Ah shit, discovered.” Jun chuckled.
“You wouldn’t make a good thief.” Nino smiled.
“How did it go?”
“Jeez, are you my mother? You’re worse than Masaki…”
“He was there but he left because of an emergency…”
“Seriously, you two love to make a hell of my life. What do you want to know? It was a disaster of course.
I don’t even know why I came anyway.”
“I’m sorry…”
“Don’t be, it’s not your fault but mine for agreeing to come.”
“She is a bitch, ne?”
“Dunno. I can’t clearly make my own opinion as she is Ohchan’s wife, I’m not objective…”
“Kazu… Do you want to be with Sato again?’
“Eh? No, what a weird question!”
“You know… I’m not blind but I’m not idiot either, I can feel it when you lie.”
“I have decided to leave him three years ago, it’s not to go back to him now and plus, he has his family.”
“He loves you, not her.”
“Are you in his head?! Don’t try to put your nose in things that don’t concern you!”
“I want you to be happy!”
“I understand that but I won’t be happy if you try to make us go back together. I love him, even more than before but he has his career and his son. If he was just married, maybe I wouldn’t have seen things like that but his son needs him and his mother, he needs stability and we both know that Suzuka wouldn’t let Ohchan go without taking her revenge, even if it meant hurting their son. She is the kind of woman who doesn’t think about the others. She would destroy Ohchan’s career and she would prevent him to see his son. Can you understand me? I don’t give a shit about this woman, I know I’m able to steal her Ohchan whenever I want but I love Satoshi too much to separate him and his son.”
“I understand Kazu… And I respect your choice, it’s a beautiful choice. But I don’t agree when you say that without his son, you would have stolen Ohno from this woman. Because I know you and you are not the kind of man able to do that. And you don’t have enough self-confidence to think that you can have him so easily.”
“Maybe… but there is an innocent child in this story and I won’t prevent him to have his father… And even without him, I don’t think I would go back to Ohchan… My life is already a mess, I can be so harsh with you and Aiba, I don’t want to act like an asshole with Ohchan… I haven’t accepted my blindness, Jun… I struggle everyday not to break down, I try everyday to think there are people in worst situation than mine and that I can’t complain… But I just want to yell, to cry and ask ‘why?’… What did I do to deserve that?! Life stole my eyes and stole the love of my life, leaving me only darkness and pain! I have never done anything wrong to deserve that! There are people who kill, who rape, who can destroy everything without any compassion, so why???!!” Nino sobbed. “I never deserved such a fate. But I have to live with that, to be brave, to accept my state and move on.”
“Maybe you would accept your state better if there was a man in your life…”
“The man of my life was Ohchan and nobody will ever replace him, Jun. And I can’t even think about having sex when I’m like that.”
“Being blind doesn’t prevent sex…”
“What a boring thing for a normal person to fuck a blind man! Who would like that?? Who would like to live with someone who is not even able to cook spaghettis?!”
“You know, Kazu, I would.” Jun said sadly. “It wouldn’t bother me. You have a very bad view of people but there are good persons who wouldn’t care to be with someone blind…”
“Then, it’s in another world. How do you want I believe in your words when everyday, I hear people judging me and insulting me because I need help in a konbini or for other simply things. The last time I talk with someone about my wish to have a baby, the person smirked, saying that blind people couldn’t take care of a baby and that it should be forbidden for us to have children. So, where are your good persons, Jun? Because if they exist, they are not living in my world. My world, is ugly, Jun. In my reality, people are cruel, we bother them because of our handicap. In my reality, Jun, there isn’t any happy ending for people like me.”
“Don’t you think it’s just because you choose the easiest way? I know that people like you described exist. I have heard them when we were together but I also have seen good people who helped you in the metro, who let you their seat in the train, who helped you to get up when you fell in the street. I know we don’t live in a world made of teddy bears and skittles but luckily, there are also good people, you just don’t want to see them because you are scared, Kazu. You are scared to be judged, to show your true self. You are scared to be hurt. If you keep thinking like that, you will never meet a wonderful man who will see you like the most beautiful person of his life, who won’t give a shit about your blindness and who will feel lucky everyday to wake up next to a wonderful guy like you. For me, this person is Satoshi and even if I understand the fact you think about his son, I don’t understand why you give up without trying. You two could find a way, you could fight… Giving up without trying only means escaping and you are not like that, Kazu. You’re a fighter, you’re strong and you never give up when you meet an obstacle. But I love you and I won’t interfere anymore… Think about what I have said, please…”
“Thank you… Good night, J…”
“Good night Kaz’.” Jun sighed and left, stroking Tsuki’s head.
Nino took a long hot bath before climbing in his bed, hugging his dog against him. Tsuki licked his master’s hand, whining sadly, as if he understood Nino’s sadness and tried to comfort him.
“Thank you for being here, Tsu… I’m trying to be strong but it’s so hard… I should move in another town, being next to him is painful, I don’t know if I’ll support it a long time… I thought leaving him was a good idea but when I think about it maybe I should have been egoist… I did all that because I love him but sometimes, it’s better to think about yourself… When I hear his wife talking as if she was the center of the world, I really wonder why he is with her… There is his son but being with a wife who doesn’t respect you is not better for your child, don’t you think?”
Tsuki barked under his laugh.
“You always agree with me anyway… Oyasumi, Tsu.” Nino kissed the soft fur before falling asleep.
*****
Nino yawned, closing his door with Tsuki against his leg. The night had been horrible. He had dreamt about Ohno, about their life together before his start and everything was wonderful until he had to wake up. Of course, he was in a bad mood now. Aiba had to pick him up to bring him to the association to work on his ‘lessons’ but Nino was scared to see his cheerful friend and tell him to fuck off at the second the atmosphere would become too happy for his sanity.
“Again in a bad mood? You look like MatsuJun in the morning…” Aiba chuckled.
“Well, he is right, mornings suck.” Nino mumbled.
“Jun, told me for yesterday, I’m sorry it didn’t go well…”
“Not your fault.” Nino shrugged. “Should we go?”
At this moment, the door next to his opened, revealing a tired Ohno.
“Ohayou, Ohno-san…”
“Good morning, Aiba-san. Hello, Kazu… How are you?”
“Fine…”
“Where are you going?”
“It doesn’t concern y…”
“To the association, Nino has some lessons today.” Aiba grinned.
“Oh… It seems interesting…”
“Do you want to go?!”
“Masaki!!!”
“I don’t want to disturb you…”
“It would help me a lot because I have lots of things to do today! And Nino is in a bad mood so, he will
yell at me for sure!” Aiba pouted.
“Then, with pleasure…” Ohno grinned.
Nino was about to protest when Aiba discreetly slapped his head.
“Don’t push him away, it would be cruel and you can have him back if you really want to.”
“I’m going to rip your balls and Jun’s one day.” Nino groaned.
“Don’t be like that, one day you will mostly kiss us for being so great friends.” Aiba grinned.
The little group climbed in Aiba’s car, an uncomfortable silence wining the atmosphere. Nino was sulking, Ohno was wondering if he was at his place and Aiba was trying to find a way to cheer them up.
“So, Ohno-kun, you will assist me in Nino’s lessons. Today, he has Braille and he also has to get better into finding his way in new places.”
“O-kay… This place is amazing…” Ohno’s eyes widened when they entered the building.
“It’s small but we have lots of students.” Aiba led them toward a sort of library where they sat. The room was huge, with lots of books certainly written in Braille. Some people were concentrated on their books, their finger on the paper, following the lines.
“Have you brought your book, Nino?”
“I’m not a kid, of course I have.” Nino muttered, putting a big book on the table.
“Page 300, we stopped when Myron was about to get killed.”
“What is it?”
“A thriller. A book of Harlan Coben, he is such a great writer, Nino also loves him. It’s better to practice
because there are more difficult words.”
“Oh…”
“Nino has to read the pages and I control if he is right in mine.” Aiba showed the same book that wasn’t in Braille.
“You don’t even need it, you know how to read Braille.” Nino muttered.
“I prefer to be sure. Do you want to try, Ohno-kun?”
“Ano… Why not?”
Discreetly, Aiba let him his seat and showed him what to do while Nino was starting to read with his
finger. The younger was stiffed but as seconds passed, started to get used and to smile a bit. Aiba had left quickly, leaving them alone and Ohno found a real pleasure in sharing this moment with his ex-lover.
“You’ve made a mistake here. It’s ‘finger print’.”
“Ah yes, I always make the same mistake for this word, I don’t like it.” Nino pouted.
“But you read so well, I’m impressed, Braille is very hard…”
“It’s not easy but you have to learn it quickly because unfortunately, I need it for lots of things.”
They spent two hours together, Ohno correcting Nino when he made a mistake and the two friends sometimes laughing for silly things.
The singer followed his ex-lover when Aiba came back to lead them in the garden where Nino had to follow a path his friend had explained him, only having Tsuki by his side.
“He does great, I’m very impressed.”
“Yes, he has a lot to learn yet, but he is good. He has some problems to find his way and to cook but he
will get better with some training.”
“I feel so stupid when I look at him. He is so brave, he learns so impressing things… I’m proud of him…”
“Lots of people think that blind persons can’t do anything but sit on a sofa and wait all day for the death to come. But with lots of training, they can act like normal persons.”
“I saw that when Nino held Kazu in his arms… He was a lot more careful than normal people, I wasn’t scared at all.”
“Do you know he can even prepare Manoa’s milk?”
“Really?”
“Yup, Jun has already asked him to be his baby-sitter. Nino can perfectly take care of a baby without making any mistake.”
“I feel scared when he goes out alone… If a car crushed him or if he lost his way…”
“I know this feeling but you will get used to it. Nino! Perfect! Let’s do that outside!”
“Outside???”
“He knows this garden too much, it’s too easy now, he will practice in the town.”
“But…”
“He is single, he has to learn how to be independent.”
“You mean…”
“We won’t come. He will leave alone with Tsuki and we will wait for him at the place I will ask him to go.”
“I…”
“I haven’t asked you to come to judge my lessons, so, you follow or you leave.” Aiba joined Nino to explain him everything. Okay, the younger had made things clear and it wasn’t his place to go against his
lessons. Even if it scared him like hell to know that Nino would be alone in an unknown place.
It’s in silence that Ohno followed Aiba in a café while Nino took another way with his dog.
“Relax, he is not going to war.” Aiba chuckled.
“Easy to speak.”Ohno mumbled.
“I have lost him in the street once.”
“WHAT???!! Are you talking about a child??? And you leave him again!”
“Nino is like a child for the moment. He learns how to live alone by himself. And don’t worry, losing him is not as bad as it looks like. Tsuki is here to protect him.”
Ohno growled and played with the spoon of his coffee, not even listening to Aiba’s babble, too anxious to follow a conversation.
“It’s weird…”
“What???”
“It’s been two hours, he should be here for a long time now…”
“And you stay here passively without doing anything?!!”
“Well, I can’t really find him.” Aiba shrugged. “Fuck, it rains now, Nino will catch a cold if he doesn’t hurry.”
“And you pretend to be his friend???!!!” Ohno yelled and left the café with panic under Aiba’s evil smile.
The animal lover grabbed his phone to send a message.
To: MatsuJun
From: Aiba
The plan is going well. Nino is lost and Ohno has left to find him as if it was the end of the world hehe (*^▽^*)
The reply was almost immediate, making Aiba chuckle.
To: Aiba
From: Jun
Perfect! You did great! Let’s see where it leads, I hope these two idiots will wake up! (*￣m￣)
To: MatsuJun
From: Aiba
Don’t tell Sho-chan anything or he will kill me! (ーー;)
To : Aiba
From : Jun
Don’t worry, our secret is well hidden (*°∀°)=3
Aiba laughed and closed his phone. “Let’s see what you are able to do for him, Ohno…”
Ohno ran under the rain with a panicked face, yelling Nino’s name with despair but there was no sign of his ex-lover wherever he went. If something happened to him, the singer wouldn’t handle it. Not a second time. Calling the police was a possibility but what would he say? That his blind friend was maybe lost because of a lesson of this stupid Aiba?!
After two hours of screaming and running under the rain, Ohno decided to go home to find some help. But to his surprise, the singer found Nino leaving his apartment at this moment.
”Kazu!!!!” Ohno screamed, jumping on him to pull him in a tight hug.
“Oh-chan?”
“I was so scared!!! Where were you???”
“At home… It was where Aiba told me to go…”
“WHAT???!!! This bastard!!!”
“Why are you drenched?”
“I have kept looking for you under the rain for two hours… I thought you were lost…”
“Oh… Come in, you will catch a cold if you stay outside.” Nino pulled him in his apartment and led him toward the bathroom. “Take off your clothes, you need a hot bath and dried clothes. I’ll give you mines.”
“Ano…”
“I’m blind, baka, you can take your clothes in front of me.” Nino rolled his eyes.
“True…”
Ohno climbed in the hot bath and let Nino washed his hair, enjoying his hands massaging his head.
“It’s been so long since you did that…”
“Mmmm…” Nino hummed.
“Thank you…”
“No problem. You looked for me under the rain, it’s normal to take care of you… Here, you’re all cleaned.” Nino chuckled. Ohno left the bath and stared at his ex-lover who was holding out some clothes to him.
“I have missed your laugh…”
“Ohchan…”
“It’s one of the things I love about you. Your smile… and your look… You have a so intense look, as if you could read my soul… I could get hard in one second when you stared at me with desire before.”
“Ohchan, It’s not…”
“Don’t bit your lip… It turns me on even more…”
“Are you crazy? You must have caught a cold for saying stupid things like that.”
“You’re so beautiful, Kazu. Still so sexy and hot… Your new shyness is even sexier…” Ohno walked toward him with dangerous eyes, the gamer moving back with a panicked face.
“Ohchan, it’s not funny, stop that...”
“And if I don’t want to?”
“I…” Nino gasped when a hand stroked his cheek, Ohno’s hot body pressed against him. “You’re too close and naked, stop that.”
“And also hard.” Ohno took his hand to put it against his hard member, making Nino gasp and blush. “It’s amazing, Kazu. Even after all this pain and these years, I still get hard just by staring at you. It’s how I managed to have my son. I imagined us making love when I was with Suzuka. Because you are the only one able to excite me and give a real orgasm…”
“Ohchan, don’t complicate this situation, you will regret it and you will make us suffer even more…”
“Don’t I excite you? Even if you can’t see me?” Ohno grabbed his hand tightly to put it on his wet naked body, making it travel on his torso to his navel and his cock. Nino shivered violently and tried to pull away with panic, the walls built around him falling one per one. “I was sure…” Ohno smiled when he felt Nino’s hard length. “Your body can’t lie to me…”
Their lips were almost touching, Ohno’s hot breath making Nino shiver, the atmosphere so intense that both of them would have been able to come without even touching. Nino whined, trying to take the control of his body back but his ex-lover chose this moment to lock their lips in a deep kiss, reducing the younger’s brain at the state of a sponge.
“Ohch…”
“Shhhh…” Ohno prevented him to protest with another deep kiss, his body shivering in happiness at the sensation of having his ex in this way again. Raising him in his arms, the older brought him in the bedroom and threw him on the bed, ignoring Nino’s protestations. Nino was in total panic despite the immense desire wining his body. They were about to make a big mistake, they were about to suffer again and he wasn’t ready to have sex when all he could do was moaning and kissing. “Let me see you in the same way you use to see me.” Ohno said huskily, touching and kissing every part of skin he could reach, his hands traveling on the gamer’s body before a full mouth swallowed his member.
Nino moaned loudly in surprise. He hadn’t had sex in three years and feeling his ex’s perfect mouth again was like paradise, making him come with shame in some seconds.
“That was fast.” Ohno chuckled.
“I haven’t had sex in three years, baka.” Nino blushed deeply.
“So, you’ll be able to get hard again.” The older grinned and caught his lips, undulating his body against him. Moaning and whining, Nino got hard in a record, breathing heavily, sweat covering his skin. It was too intense for his poor brain, only leaving him the right to breath a bit between Ohno’s impatient kisses. The singer prepared him quickly yet, with lot of care, not wanting to hurt him.
“Ohchan… ple-ase…” Nino finally started to beg under Ohno’s triumphant look.
“Hum?”
“Do me…”
Ohno didn’t need to hear more, slowly entering his ex-boyfriend with a loud moan. Nino was tighter than before, forcing him to bit his lip not to come right away. Without waiting more, the singer started to move quickly, devouring Nino’s neck like a thirsty vampire.
“Ahhhhh….” Nino moaned loudly. Everything was too intense with his blindness, the gamer could feel every sensation powerfully, all his senses awaken, every part of his skin burning under Ohno’s touches and mouth. When they were together, sex had always been amazing but right now, it felt even better. At least, being blind had this advantage. “Ohchan… Satoshi…” Nino moaned endlessly, biting his ex’s neck, tears of pleasure rolling down his cheeks. Even now, Ohno was able to make him feel beautiful.
“Kazu… I love you… You’re so am-azing… I won’t hold it anymore…” Ohno moved faster and harder, pumping his length, smacking their lips in clumsy kisses before both came in loud moans.
Ohno fell on his back, out of breath.
“Fuck… That was something…”
“Hum…” Nino nodded, not able to enjoy this moment as much as Ohno, knowing what would come after this big mistake. The gamer was waiting for Ohno’s apologies and start but a ring tone cut his thoughts.
“Moshi moshi?” Ohno answered. “Oh… I… I haven’t seen the hour… I’m sorry, I was working… Yes…”
Ohno got up in silence, taking his clothes back.
“I’m sorry, I have to go, Suzuka was waiting for me to eat…”
“It’s okay, good night…”
“Kazu…” Ohno bit his lip guiltily. “I’ll call you tomorrow…” The singer left the room, allowing Nino to sob, hugging his pillow tightly. Why things had to turn like that? He had tried to stop that but Ohno hadn’t had any pity and had made him surrender before leaving him to go back to his wife. Because it was obvious things would turn like that. They had fucked and then? Again, Nino was the one left alone.
Crying loudly, Nino took a shower, hating himself for being so weak when he was with Ohno. The pain in his heart he was desperately trying to burry was coming back, exploding in his heart like a hurricane destroying a country.
To: Kazu
From: Ohno
We have to talk, Kazu. I won’t let things like that. I’m deeply sorry for what I have done to you…I shouldn’t have… I don’t want to make you cry and suffer…
To: Ohno
From: Kazu
Don’t worry, you don’t owe me anything. We both know it was a mistake, I won’t say anything to your wife, don’t worry. Let’s keep this night as a beautiful memory even if it was wrong.
Nino closed his phone with a sob. Yes, everything was just a mistake. Ohno had his wife and he was nothing to him since his start. But how would he do to avoid him when his ex was living right next door? Did it mean he had to move elsewhere?
To be continued…
A/N: Sorry for the delay! RL doesn’t let me in peace with my exams coming in 16 days >< I hope you liked this chapter, I tried to include Ohno in Nino’s life, to make him discover his habits and to make Nino realize that being blind doesn’t bother Ohno at all. Of course, Junba played a big role in this chapter xD these devils have made such a plan to get them back together but Ohno’s wife is in the way and there is also his son who can’t be forgotten >< So, Ohno will have to make choices and Nino to let the walls around him fall if our dear leader decides to fight to have him back in his life. Suzuka won’t make things easy too because she ‘holds’ Ohno’s career in her hands and she also can decide to prevent him to see his son. Let’s see if Ohno will go back to her or will face his real feelings J See you next week; comments, even short ones are deeply <3