Umi no shizukesa (the ocean's silence)
Title: Umi no shizukesa chapter 6
Author: MatsuAurore
Beta: Mokohno <3<3
Pairings: Juntoshi, Sakuraiba
Genre: Au, drama, romance, angst
Rating: NC-17 for this chapter
Disclaimer: Jun owns Ohchan xD
Summary: Ohno looses his voice after a traumatic experience. He is desperate and alone, rejected by the others because of his silence. One day, he meets Jun, a young diver addicted to the sea. With Jun's help, Ohno discovers another world where the silence is the most precious thing. Together, they learn another language: the language of the sea.
Warning: presence of rape scene in this chapter, if you're not old enough or don't bear it, please don't read it ^^ Thank you to Sasou for her beautiful beautiful picture, I'm glad you like this fic <3
Chapter 6:
Jun opened his eyes, feeling the sun on his face. He turned his head and frowned when he didn't see Ohno.
"Ohchan?" Jun called but no answer came.
The diver stood up and walked to the kitchen, maybe Ohno was eating or taking a shower. But the bathroom and the kitchen were empty and Jun started to panic. He looked in all the rooms of his apartment but Ohno was nowhere to be found. Suddenly, a bad intuition invaded him and he opened Ohno's bedroom. His eyes widened when he saw the empty room. Ohchan's belongings had disappeared and there was a letter on the bed. With shaking hands, Jun opened it and almost screamed.
Jun,
I just wanted to say I decided to leave.
Just wanted to say that nothing counts more than the days I spent with you, learning the sign language, diving and how to change the world.
Just wanted to say that this afternoon on the boat when it was raining, I felt, like you did I think, this special moment, this attraction between us. This day, I believe you almost kissed me but you didn't want to scare me away. Yet, I know if you had kissed me, I would have let you do and I would be the happiest man in the world because I would have known I was counting for you. I know this kiss would always be with me in the worst moments like a memory. But after all, some people say the most beautiful love stories are the one we couldn't have the time to live. Maybe the kisses we haven't shared are the most intense...
Just wanted to say I was very happy to meet you. Thank you for everything you did for me. You're an amazing person. Since I met you, my life has totally changed, I was so happy when you called me your 'friend' this day. But even if you've changed my life I can't stay with you anymore. It's not your fault but there are too many evils in my life for you, I can’t force them on you, it would be very selfish. You know, even if we know each other since only 4 months, I can say that I love you too. You did more than saving my life this day. I loved when you were looking at me with those kind eyes, I loved when you were smiling and calming my heart down. When you taught me about diving, I was so happy, not because of the sea but because I could share something I loved with someone I loved and it's the most beautiful thing in the world. When I felt your hand in mine, when you showed me the fishes, the rocks, the morays, I never felt so happy before. I can't regret my suicide attempt because I met you and I could share all that with you. For the first time since two years, I felt loved, complete and happy. Thank you for that. But I can't stay with you anymore, I can't bother you with my handicap and my silence, you deserve better than a mute guy. You deserve someone who will be able to speak about diving, the sea, the fishes, you deserve someone who will be able to say "I love you" and I'm unable to give you these things. I think you should try to fix things with Nino, he is a nice guy, he loves you and I'm sure he can make you happy. Don't be angry after me, please, I think my choice is the better way for both of us. Thank you for what you gave me during these four months, I'll never forget you and your so beautiful and kind smile. Stay the same; keep this kindness, this sensitivity and this respect toward the others and the sea.
I just wanted to say that I love you.
Satoshi
Tears started to roll down Jun's cheeks. His grip on the letter tightened while he was staying there, paralyzed. Ohno was gone. It couldn't be possible.
Jun took his phone and called Aiba, explaining the whole situation. Masaki tried to calm his friend down but Jun was out of control and yelled at the phone.
Jun sat down on the floor, sighing. He took his phone and tried to call Ohno.
****
Ohno shivered when he entered his class. He missed four months of school and the students were looking at him, surprised. Ohno sat on his chair but froze when the evil walked toward him with a diabolic smile.
"Ma ma ma. The dumb is back. Where were you, little shit?" Yamada smirked, patting Ohno's head.
Ohno lowered his eyes. He knew Yamada would bother him at the first step he'll make in his class. Luckily, their teacher arrived and Yamada stopped his comments.
The teacher stared at Ohno with a strange look but didn't say anything and turned his interest toward the other students.
When the bell rang, Ohno froze. Despite his will, he had to admit his courage had vanished at the second he saw Yamada.
Ohno's head hurt the wall. The silent man felt a hand under his tee shirt and started to shiver in fear. A disgusting tongue licked his neck, leaving trails of saliva.
"I missed you so much, Satoshi," Yamada gasped in Ohno's ear who tried to push him away but failed and just felt a strong hand on the top of his head.
"How did you dare disappear like that?! Suck me, now!!!" Yamada ordered, unzipping his jeans with his underwear.
Ohno gulped with disgust but swallowed the semi hard flesh, closing his eyes to avoid this nightmare.
After Ohno had left his class, Yamada and his friends had caught him and locked the silent man up in the toilets with Yamada. Ohno knew what would follow after that, he knew the same pain and disgust would cross his whole body.
Yamada pushed on Satoshi's head to make him swallow his whole cock that hit the back of the sleepy man’s throat who coughed painfully.
"Look at me!" Yamada ordered and grabbed Ohno's chin to lift his head.
When their eyes met, Satoshi thought he was seeing the madness in front of him and tears filled his eyes. Yamada's face was like a monster’s without any humanity, but just horny eyes and evil and sadistic smile. Yes. A monster. A demon who was eating all of his soul, his pride, and his feelings. Yamada was stealing all that and just let an empty body, like a doll. Satoshi was just his toy, his property and no one could even say this monster was letting him alive because Yamada made him feel as if the life had been taken from his body. When Yamada released himself inside him, Ohno coughed violently.
"You're mine, don't ever forget that, now, little shit!!" Yamada smirked and took Ohno's jeans off.
The silent man thought he couldn't breathe when Yamada pushed his shaft inside of him. The monster grabbed his hair and started to thrust harder, enjoying how Ohno tried to keep his tears.
"Look at me, I said!" Yamada shouted and punched Satoshi's face.
Ohno lifted his eyes painfully and Yamada smacked his mouth against his. The pain was unbearable, as if his whole body was burning and Ohno had to think about Jun, Aiba and Sho to bear it.
"You don't even cry, bastard, isn't it enough?!" Yamada mumbled, annoyed and caught violently Satoshi's hair who gasped silently. When Yamada released inside him, a deep disgust crossed the silent man. He felt so dirty again. Yamada threw him to the ground with a diabolic smile.
"You're still so good, little shit. See you tomorrow." He waved and left the toilets.
Ohno ran to a cabin and threw up with disgust. Tears wanted to fall from his eyes but Ohno was so used to this that he couldn't cry, he didn’t have the strength to do so anymore. Sitting on the floor, the silent man grabbed his head with both hands and started to laugh in silence hysterically. Life was so unfair! Ohno lowered his head against the wall, still laughing and closed his eyes. Maybe it was his fate, maybe he really was born to be treated like crap.
Standing up, he walked weakly to his apartment. Ohno fell in his shower and let the water wash his painful body. He leaned his back against the wall and started to cry silently. Ohno stayed like that during an eternity and then took a towel and wrapped himself with it before taking sweatpants. Suddenly, his phone buzzed on the counter.
A sad smile appeared on his lips when he saw Jun's number. He opened his phone, knowing he couldn't answer but he needed Jun's voice. He needed him to bear the next days.
"Satoshi?" Jun asked. "Satoshi, it's me. I know you can't speak to me but..."
"Ju-n~" Ohno sobbed.
There was a long silence, both were shocked. Ohno put his hand on his throat. No. No. It couldn't be possible. There was no way his voice would come back. He was dreaming. He...
"Satoshi?"
"Ju-n~" Ohno answered with a small and hoarse voice.
"Satoshi, baby, please, tell me where you are, I'll come quickly, please, tell me, dear!" Jun almost shouted in the phone.
"Ju-n~" Ohno repeated weakly. "Do-n't co-me,” he added and closed his phone. He couldn't tell the truth to Jun, he didn't want to be hated by his only love. Tiredness won over his body and soon, he curled into a ball and fell asleep, still crying.
****
"Satoshi?! Satoshi?!" Jun yelled.
"What happened?" Aiba asked.
"He spoke. Satoshi spoke, he said my name, Masaki, he said my name!!!" Jun repeated.
"Calm down, Jun. He spoke? Are you sure?"
"Yes, he said my name and forbade me to come. What happened? Why could he speak and why was he crying?!" Jun panicked.
"You said he was crying?" The diver nodded and Aiba bit his lip. It wasn't good, it really wasn't good.
"Aiba, you know something?" Jun asked with a dangerous tone.
"Ano~ maybe... Ohchan told he was going back to his home in his letter?"
"Yes."
"It's not good. If he went back to his home, it means he went to school and saw Yamada..."
"Yamada? Who's Yamada?!"
"I think it's not a good idea if I tell you..."
"Aiba, if you want to keep your balls safe, tell me who this guy is, now!" Jun said with a threatening voice, making Aiba gulp.
Aiba knew his best friend could be dangerous when he had this voice and this glare.
"Ano~ Yamada Shouta is a student in Ohchan's art class and he doesn't like Ohchan's silence that's why he is not really kind with him..." Aiba started knowing Jun would commit a murder when he'd hear the next part.
"And?"
"And... Several times, he ra...d, Ohchan," Aiba whispered.
"Eh? He what?"
"He raped Ohchan," Aiba repeated.
The older lifted his eyes and gulped in front of the view. Jun's reaction wasn't like he expected. Obviously, his face had turned to white but he was keeping a calm look and didn't yell.
"Jun?"
"I think I need a little conversation with this Yamada," Jun just answered with a calm tone.
Aiba froze. Jun was the kind of guy who could easily yell or fight when he was angry, he always overreacted when there was a problem, and now, nothing. Bets of sweats were rolling on Aiba's face. If Jun was speaking like that and staying calm, it was the worst. It meant he was keeping all of his anger deep inside of him and when it would explode, the person in front of him would die for sure. Yamada was a dead man; Aiba knew Jun wouldn't let that go.
"Jun, I know it's difficult for you but..."
"For how long?"
"Eh?!"
"For how long has he been raping Satoshi?!"
"I... Ano... Almost 8 months..."
"Good. And you knew about it since...?"
"Only a week. But it's not what you think. I just read Ohchan's diary when you two weren't home!"
"His diary?"
"Yes. He started a diary two years ago when he lost his voice."
"Oh, he lost his voice two years ago, and you knew about it too."
"Jun, please understand, I read his life without his agreement and when he discovered it, he made me swear I wouldn't say a word to you."
"Why?"
"I... I think it's better if you speak about it with Ohchan, it's none of my business. But you should know Ohchan left you because he thought it was the better way for you."
Jun didn't answer, he stood up, took his keys and left. Aiba felt guilty but couldn't help it. Knowing his best friend wanted to find Ohno and needed him for that, he locked the apartment and joined him in the car. The nightmare was just starting and Aiba knew the worst would come, now.
"I have a question," Jun cut off the uncomfortable silence and Aiba hummed. "Did you discover his diary the day where you two were acting strangely?"
"Hai." Aiba stared at his hands, ashamed.
"I see. His past is horrible, ne?" Aiba nodded in silence and didn't need to look at Jun to know his friend was very angry. His tight grip on the wheel was speaking for him.
"Did he loose his voice because of that?"
"Yes," Aiba whispered.
Jun kept looking at the road but deep inside of him, all wanted to do was to explode. He was just starting to see a piece of Ohno's past and didn't like that, he really didn't like that. Of course, since their first meeting, he had a lot of questions but he convinced himself to shut his mouth and wait for Ohno to be ready. He wanted the man he loved to tell his past freely.
"It's here!" Aiba showed an apartment and Jun stopped the car.
Aiba knew where Ohno was living because when he had learned his past, he asked to Ohno to show him his house if one day he had a problem. Now, Aiba was a bit proud of himself for his intuition. Jun opened the door that wasn't locked and entered into the small apartment. There weren't many things inside, just some beautiful canvases.
"Satoshi?" Jun called. The friends looked at the empty apartment but soon stopped, hearing a small sob. Jun ran toward the bathroom and opened the door.
"Sato..." Jun's voice stopped and he almost screamed when he saw what was in front of him.
To be continued...
Author: MatsuAurore
Beta: Mokohno <3<3
Pairings: Juntoshi, Sakuraiba
Genre: Au, drama, romance, angst
Rating: NC-17 for this chapter
Disclaimer: Jun owns Ohchan xD
Summary: Ohno looses his voice after a traumatic experience. He is desperate and alone, rejected by the others because of his silence. One day, he meets Jun, a young diver addicted to the sea. With Jun's help, Ohno discovers another world where the silence is the most precious thing. Together, they learn another language: the language of the sea.
Warning: presence of rape scene in this chapter, if you're not old enough or don't bear it, please don't read it ^^ Thank you to Sasou for her beautiful beautiful picture, I'm glad you like this fic <3
Chapter 6:
Jun opened his eyes, feeling the sun on his face. He turned his head and frowned when he didn't see Ohno.
"Ohchan?" Jun called but no answer came.
The diver stood up and walked to the kitchen, maybe Ohno was eating or taking a shower. But the bathroom and the kitchen were empty and Jun started to panic. He looked in all the rooms of his apartment but Ohno was nowhere to be found. Suddenly, a bad intuition invaded him and he opened Ohno's bedroom. His eyes widened when he saw the empty room. Ohchan's belongings had disappeared and there was a letter on the bed. With shaking hands, Jun opened it and almost screamed.
Jun,
I just wanted to say I decided to leave.
Just wanted to say that nothing counts more than the days I spent with you, learning the sign language, diving and how to change the world.
Just wanted to say that this afternoon on the boat when it was raining, I felt, like you did I think, this special moment, this attraction between us. This day, I believe you almost kissed me but you didn't want to scare me away. Yet, I know if you had kissed me, I would have let you do and I would be the happiest man in the world because I would have known I was counting for you. I know this kiss would always be with me in the worst moments like a memory. But after all, some people say the most beautiful love stories are the one we couldn't have the time to live. Maybe the kisses we haven't shared are the most intense...
Just wanted to say I was very happy to meet you. Thank you for everything you did for me. You're an amazing person. Since I met you, my life has totally changed, I was so happy when you called me your 'friend' this day. But even if you've changed my life I can't stay with you anymore. It's not your fault but there are too many evils in my life for you, I can’t force them on you, it would be very selfish. You know, even if we know each other since only 4 months, I can say that I love you too. You did more than saving my life this day. I loved when you were looking at me with those kind eyes, I loved when you were smiling and calming my heart down. When you taught me about diving, I was so happy, not because of the sea but because I could share something I loved with someone I loved and it's the most beautiful thing in the world. When I felt your hand in mine, when you showed me the fishes, the rocks, the morays, I never felt so happy before. I can't regret my suicide attempt because I met you and I could share all that with you. For the first time since two years, I felt loved, complete and happy. Thank you for that. But I can't stay with you anymore, I can't bother you with my handicap and my silence, you deserve better than a mute guy. You deserve someone who will be able to speak about diving, the sea, the fishes, you deserve someone who will be able to say "I love you" and I'm unable to give you these things. I think you should try to fix things with Nino, he is a nice guy, he loves you and I'm sure he can make you happy. Don't be angry after me, please, I think my choice is the better way for both of us. Thank you for what you gave me during these four months, I'll never forget you and your so beautiful and kind smile. Stay the same; keep this kindness, this sensitivity and this respect toward the others and the sea.
I just wanted to say that I love you.
Satoshi
Tears started to roll down Jun's cheeks. His grip on the letter tightened while he was staying there, paralyzed. Ohno was gone. It couldn't be possible.
Jun took his phone and called Aiba, explaining the whole situation. Masaki tried to calm his friend down but Jun was out of control and yelled at the phone.
Jun sat down on the floor, sighing. He took his phone and tried to call Ohno.
****
Ohno shivered when he entered his class. He missed four months of school and the students were looking at him, surprised. Ohno sat on his chair but froze when the evil walked toward him with a diabolic smile.
"Ma ma ma. The dumb is back. Where were you, little shit?" Yamada smirked, patting Ohno's head.
Ohno lowered his eyes. He knew Yamada would bother him at the first step he'll make in his class. Luckily, their teacher arrived and Yamada stopped his comments.
The teacher stared at Ohno with a strange look but didn't say anything and turned his interest toward the other students.
When the bell rang, Ohno froze. Despite his will, he had to admit his courage had vanished at the second he saw Yamada.
Ohno's head hurt the wall. The silent man felt a hand under his tee shirt and started to shiver in fear. A disgusting tongue licked his neck, leaving trails of saliva.
"I missed you so much, Satoshi," Yamada gasped in Ohno's ear who tried to push him away but failed and just felt a strong hand on the top of his head.
"How did you dare disappear like that?! Suck me, now!!!" Yamada ordered, unzipping his jeans with his underwear.
Ohno gulped with disgust but swallowed the semi hard flesh, closing his eyes to avoid this nightmare.
After Ohno had left his class, Yamada and his friends had caught him and locked the silent man up in the toilets with Yamada. Ohno knew what would follow after that, he knew the same pain and disgust would cross his whole body.
Yamada pushed on Satoshi's head to make him swallow his whole cock that hit the back of the sleepy man’s throat who coughed painfully.
"Look at me!" Yamada ordered and grabbed Ohno's chin to lift his head.
When their eyes met, Satoshi thought he was seeing the madness in front of him and tears filled his eyes. Yamada's face was like a monster’s without any humanity, but just horny eyes and evil and sadistic smile. Yes. A monster. A demon who was eating all of his soul, his pride, and his feelings. Yamada was stealing all that and just let an empty body, like a doll. Satoshi was just his toy, his property and no one could even say this monster was letting him alive because Yamada made him feel as if the life had been taken from his body. When Yamada released himself inside him, Ohno coughed violently.
"You're mine, don't ever forget that, now, little shit!!" Yamada smirked and took Ohno's jeans off.
The silent man thought he couldn't breathe when Yamada pushed his shaft inside of him. The monster grabbed his hair and started to thrust harder, enjoying how Ohno tried to keep his tears.
"Look at me, I said!" Yamada shouted and punched Satoshi's face.
Ohno lifted his eyes painfully and Yamada smacked his mouth against his. The pain was unbearable, as if his whole body was burning and Ohno had to think about Jun, Aiba and Sho to bear it.
"You don't even cry, bastard, isn't it enough?!" Yamada mumbled, annoyed and caught violently Satoshi's hair who gasped silently. When Yamada released inside him, a deep disgust crossed the silent man. He felt so dirty again. Yamada threw him to the ground with a diabolic smile.
"You're still so good, little shit. See you tomorrow." He waved and left the toilets.
Ohno ran to a cabin and threw up with disgust. Tears wanted to fall from his eyes but Ohno was so used to this that he couldn't cry, he didn’t have the strength to do so anymore. Sitting on the floor, the silent man grabbed his head with both hands and started to laugh in silence hysterically. Life was so unfair! Ohno lowered his head against the wall, still laughing and closed his eyes. Maybe it was his fate, maybe he really was born to be treated like crap.
Standing up, he walked weakly to his apartment. Ohno fell in his shower and let the water wash his painful body. He leaned his back against the wall and started to cry silently. Ohno stayed like that during an eternity and then took a towel and wrapped himself with it before taking sweatpants. Suddenly, his phone buzzed on the counter.
A sad smile appeared on his lips when he saw Jun's number. He opened his phone, knowing he couldn't answer but he needed Jun's voice. He needed him to bear the next days.
"Satoshi?" Jun asked. "Satoshi, it's me. I know you can't speak to me but..."
"Ju-n~" Ohno sobbed.
There was a long silence, both were shocked. Ohno put his hand on his throat. No. No. It couldn't be possible. There was no way his voice would come back. He was dreaming. He...
"Satoshi?"
"Ju-n~" Ohno answered with a small and hoarse voice.
"Satoshi, baby, please, tell me where you are, I'll come quickly, please, tell me, dear!" Jun almost shouted in the phone.
"Ju-n~" Ohno repeated weakly. "Do-n't co-me,” he added and closed his phone. He couldn't tell the truth to Jun, he didn't want to be hated by his only love. Tiredness won over his body and soon, he curled into a ball and fell asleep, still crying.
****
"Satoshi?! Satoshi?!" Jun yelled.
"What happened?" Aiba asked.
"He spoke. Satoshi spoke, he said my name, Masaki, he said my name!!!" Jun repeated.
"Calm down, Jun. He spoke? Are you sure?"
"Yes, he said my name and forbade me to come. What happened? Why could he speak and why was he crying?!" Jun panicked.
"You said he was crying?" The diver nodded and Aiba bit his lip. It wasn't good, it really wasn't good.
"Aiba, you know something?" Jun asked with a dangerous tone.
"Ano~ maybe... Ohchan told he was going back to his home in his letter?"
"Yes."
"It's not good. If he went back to his home, it means he went to school and saw Yamada..."
"Yamada? Who's Yamada?!"
"I think it's not a good idea if I tell you..."
"Aiba, if you want to keep your balls safe, tell me who this guy is, now!" Jun said with a threatening voice, making Aiba gulp.
Aiba knew his best friend could be dangerous when he had this voice and this glare.
"Ano~ Yamada Shouta is a student in Ohchan's art class and he doesn't like Ohchan's silence that's why he is not really kind with him..." Aiba started knowing Jun would commit a murder when he'd hear the next part.
"And?"
"And... Several times, he ra...d, Ohchan," Aiba whispered.
"Eh? He what?"
"He raped Ohchan," Aiba repeated.
The older lifted his eyes and gulped in front of the view. Jun's reaction wasn't like he expected. Obviously, his face had turned to white but he was keeping a calm look and didn't yell.
"Jun?"
"I think I need a little conversation with this Yamada," Jun just answered with a calm tone.
Aiba froze. Jun was the kind of guy who could easily yell or fight when he was angry, he always overreacted when there was a problem, and now, nothing. Bets of sweats were rolling on Aiba's face. If Jun was speaking like that and staying calm, it was the worst. It meant he was keeping all of his anger deep inside of him and when it would explode, the person in front of him would die for sure. Yamada was a dead man; Aiba knew Jun wouldn't let that go.
"Jun, I know it's difficult for you but..."
"For how long?"
"Eh?!"
"For how long has he been raping Satoshi?!"
"I... Ano... Almost 8 months..."
"Good. And you knew about it since...?"
"Only a week. But it's not what you think. I just read Ohchan's diary when you two weren't home!"
"His diary?"
"Yes. He started a diary two years ago when he lost his voice."
"Oh, he lost his voice two years ago, and you knew about it too."
"Jun, please understand, I read his life without his agreement and when he discovered it, he made me swear I wouldn't say a word to you."
"Why?"
"I... I think it's better if you speak about it with Ohchan, it's none of my business. But you should know Ohchan left you because he thought it was the better way for you."
Jun didn't answer, he stood up, took his keys and left. Aiba felt guilty but couldn't help it. Knowing his best friend wanted to find Ohno and needed him for that, he locked the apartment and joined him in the car. The nightmare was just starting and Aiba knew the worst would come, now.
"I have a question," Jun cut off the uncomfortable silence and Aiba hummed. "Did you discover his diary the day where you two were acting strangely?"
"Hai." Aiba stared at his hands, ashamed.
"I see. His past is horrible, ne?" Aiba nodded in silence and didn't need to look at Jun to know his friend was very angry. His tight grip on the wheel was speaking for him.
"Did he loose his voice because of that?"
"Yes," Aiba whispered.
Jun kept looking at the road but deep inside of him, all wanted to do was to explode. He was just starting to see a piece of Ohno's past and didn't like that, he really didn't like that. Of course, since their first meeting, he had a lot of questions but he convinced himself to shut his mouth and wait for Ohno to be ready. He wanted the man he loved to tell his past freely.
"It's here!" Aiba showed an apartment and Jun stopped the car.
Aiba knew where Ohno was living because when he had learned his past, he asked to Ohno to show him his house if one day he had a problem. Now, Aiba was a bit proud of himself for his intuition. Jun opened the door that wasn't locked and entered into the small apartment. There weren't many things inside, just some beautiful canvases.
"Satoshi?" Jun called. The friends looked at the empty apartment but soon stopped, hearing a small sob. Jun ran toward the bathroom and opened the door.
"Sato..." Jun's voice stopped and he almost screamed when he saw what was in front of him.
To be continued...