Fic: In Which Mohinder and Matt get Googled, Or, Petrellicest
Pairing: Matt/Mohinder
Rating: Um, I live in a different country so I don't know what American rating this would be, but I think PG-13 or maybe R is the right one? It has mentions of self-touching, anyway.
Summary: I've always hated how Matt and Mohinder are just conveniently secretly gay in fics, ignoring canon like Mira, Eden, Audrey and Janice. I always see them more as "Mattsexual" and "Mohindersexual", which i think is more romantic anyway. :) This is my way of attempting to humorously address this issue. Keyword: attempt. This is only my second fanfic, people, and my first non-weird drabbley one! Have mercy, please.
Disclaimer: No heroes ownership for me!
Mohinder's brow knotted in confusion. Frustrated after a solid five hours sitting at his computer trying to figure out some "genetic, scientific thing" (as Matt and Molly were prone to calling his hard work) that basically boiled down to whether or not someone's life was saved, he had done what every procrastinator does at some point in their lives - he Googled himself.
Mohinder wasn't special in any genetic way, save perhaps his blood and his blood alone being able to cure a deadly disease. While that may have been impressive a year ago, now he knew there were far more outstanding abilities. HIs apartment was home to a telepath and a clairvoyant, to begin with, not to mention all the other crazy things he had seen. So Mohinder didn't consider himself special. He wasn't a lot of things, in fact. But he was curious. He clicked on the links.
Now he was trying to figure out exactly when the internet got so filthy minded, and why everyone on the planet had decided that he had been intimate with Sylar, and why they thought that his current living situation with Officer Matt Parkman was more than just a friendly relationship born of convenience. It was like his past relationships, not to mention Matt's marriage to Janice, had never happened!
"Janice", Matt heard Mohinder think as he started up the stairs to the sixth floor they lived on, (determined to stay in shape because he was a detective now, dammit, and he couldn't afford to be overweight and unfit if he wanted to do well and stay safe in his profession and quite frankly his self esteem couldn't afford it either because if he had to listen to one more woman gush about how beautiful Mohinder is, or if he has to see that flat, defined, beautifully brown stomach as Mohinder comes out of the bathroom, jeans on and rubbing his hair with a towel as he heads into the kitchen one more time he was going to take his Important Detective Gun and shoot himself with it) home from work a bit early. Janice? Was she here? Was Mohinder on the phone to her? A couple of months ago Matt would have been running up these stairs or bolting back down the couple he'd already conquered to poke frantically at the elevator button but that was when he wanted to get back together with her, back when he was still in love with her, and thinking about her hurt, and he hurt every day because he thought about her every day. Now he didn't know how he felt about Janice except he knew that it wasn't excitement about hearing her voice, rather it was fear, and so he did the cowardly thing and walked slower.
What on earth prompted these people to write such things? It was almost insulting to the gay community, Mohinder seethed, that two men living together had to automatically equal homosexuality in the minds of so many.
Mohinder was appalled at how many people could be so very shallow-minded. Not to mention psychologically ill - how was it even possible that so many people found the idea of the two Petrelli brothers being in love appealing? Admittedly, he had met these men, and Nathan did like to touch Peter frequently, and Peter was quite obsessed with his older brother to the point where he often felt he couldn't function without him...come to think of it, they were a little co-dependent, Mohinder conceded. But in a sexual relationship? That was just ludicrous.
"Petrellicest", Matt heard in his mind as he got to the first floor. Petrel...Petrellicest? WHAT? Matt tried to figure out if Petrellicest could mean anything other than what he was thinking it meant as he decided to walk a bit quicker up these stairs, deciding that even if his ex-wife was in his apartment right now, if she was having a conversation with Mohinder that involved him thinking the phrase "Petrellicest" then he was positive he wanted in. Immediately.
There were so many bizarre things that people had taken for granted about his home life that were just ludicrous, Mohinder thought angrily, deciding to move right past the Petrelli issue. For some reason everyone seemed to assume that, aside from the whole issue of Matt and Mohinder apparently wanting to play happy families, they even had time to! This little family of sorts simply did not have time to all go to the park together and hold hands - why on earth did people think (well, okay, he knows why people think, but they're wrong) he asked Matt to move in with him in the first place! It was because he simply did not have the time to take care of Molly all by himself. Even between the two of them they still needed a regular babysitter for when Matt was working and Mohinder was away. This was a three man (or rather, two men and one college-aged young woman) job.
Now Mohinder was thinking about their babysitter and Matt was on the second floor and wondering how Janice, the Petrellis and Belinda the babysitter could all be swimming around in Mohinder's mind together like this.
And another thing, Molly did not call either of them Dad, Daddy, and Mohinder was fairly certain she did not think of either of them as her father, either. She had had a father, who she had loved, and it hadn't been that long since his death.
Nor did he or Matt consider themselves her father - merely loving guardians. They were not a family (though they had all started thinking of this place as their home and this one time Matt did come over to Mohinder's desk after Molly was in bed, handing him a cup of tea which Mohinder theorized was obviously just an excuse to talk to him, judging by that smile he was trying unsuccessfully to mask, and proved him right by saying softly that he had just found a drawing Molly did of all three of them with love hearts all over the page in her art book and after that Mohinder was trying unsuccessfully to get the smile off his face too).
Was Mohinder thinking about his smile now? Matt was on the third floor and these thoughts were getting clearer as he got closer but he was simply getting more confused.
For heaven's sakes, they've only been living together for six months!
...actually now that Mohinder sort of thinks about it, six months is half a year, and that's really quite a fair amount of times in the grand scheme of things. And maybe he and Matt weren't best friends or lovers, but they enjoyed each other's company fine enough and usually agreed about what was in Molly's best interests. And lately when Mohinder was home and Matt wasn't at work they did sit quietly and Matt asked about his work and actually sounded interested, bless him, and though he wasn't gay, that didn't stop him from acknowledging that Matt was somehow the perfect man - wonderfully manly without being afraid to be beautifully gentle. Somehow it was as easy to picture Matt learning to sew Molly's rogue button back onto her blouse as it was picturing him with a beer in his hand, watching the football. (Which he did often.) It was impossible to picture this man being unfairly cruel to anyone, impossible to imagine this completely heterosexual, red-blooded American policeman being anything but baffled at the way in which his fellow heterosexual, red-blooded American policemen peers usually treated...
Awwww. After a long, boring day at work how nice it is to come home to the thoughts of your roommate singing your praises. A gentle, manly, heterosexual, red-blooded American policeman could get used to this. Fourth floor.
...actually now that Mohinder was being honest he had to admit that while he wasn't gay he had had a fling with a man, before Mira, and while he was still very much attracted to women he supposed he was actually bisexual and now that he was looking at all of these disgusting stories he had to admit the idea of Matt had been firmly planted in his mind and was sprouting at a rapid rate and maybe all of this wasn't quite as disgusting as he first thought.
Whoa, what? Mohinder's bi? Okay, I know he thinks I'm not prejudiced and I'm not dammit but I am still kind of weirded out by this newsflash. Fifth floor. Maybe I should start blocking whatever is going on in that head of his. I'm probably being really invasive. I'll just shut it out and go back to wondering what the hell Petrellicest means. Yeah.
Maybe Matt was exactly Mohinder's idea of a perfect partner, sans certain anatomical features, and it was scaring the crap out of him because no matter what these deranged fangirls might think, Matt was NOT gay, and probably wasn't bisexual either, and they weren't even comfortable enough to sit next too close next to each other on the couch or bump into each other in the kitchen without it being horribly awkward. (Well, actually, Matt never seemed to mind at all how close he sat, or if they bumped into each other, and sometimes put his wonderfully broad hand on Mohinder's back with a "hey, man, maybe you should get some rest" as Mohinder cursed at his computer, but that was typical Matt, completely oblivious to social stigmas, not even thinking twice about the fact that he was in such close proximity to another male).
These thoughts about how sweetly innocent Matt is are NOT helping Mohinder at all and Mohinder doesn't have a clue what to do or what he even thinks about anything anymore so he turns off his computer monitor, goes into his bedroom, closes the door and put his hand down his pants.
Now Matt's on the sixth floor and he's walking towards their door and he has been trying not to listen in but he's still caught a few of Mohinder's thoughts, like perfect partner, and wonderfully broad hands, and sweet innocence, but he's still not prepared for the mental moans of "Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt," over and over in his mind and Matt is officially freaking the fuck out and he's sooo not walking in that door no matter how curious he is about Petrellicest and yet he doesn't want to leave either so he sits down outside their front door, and listens, and doesn't know what to think, and knows he should NOT be listening to this, but doesn't stop.
And then a while later Matt does go in, and he doesn't kiss Mohinder who is calm and composed and sipping tea at his desk (he thinks about doing it, but he's not sure if he even wants to or not, so he doesn't) and he doesn't ask Mohinder what Petrellicest is either (although later he Googles it and can't stop laughing once he manages to decipher all the words because, seriously, Nathan and Peter so ARE gay for each other and this is the funniest shit he's ever read, not that he reads a lot) and they don't live happily ever after (they're heroes, after all) but after about a week Matt starts putting his hand on Mohinder's back again, and when he hears that relieved "Thank god" he decides to do it a bit more often.
So they sit on the couch nice and close and and Matt puts his hand on Mohinder's back and Mohinder starts putting his hand on Matt's back sometimes and Matt likes the way it feels and allows himself to think a little bit more often about Mohinder in those jeans rubbing himself with that towel. And Matt begins to wonder if there's such a thing as Mohindersexual.
A couple months after that they're not all going to the park together and Molly hasn't called either of them Dad, and Matt and Mohinder aren't lovers but they sure as hell are touching each other a lot, and they're at Nathan's office for something heroic and Peter is there and Nathan and Peter keep looking at each other and touching each other a lot too and suddenly Matt and Mohinder look at each other and thinking the same thought: Petrellicest. Mohinder is laughing in Matt's head and Matt is laughing in Mohinder's head because he can do that now, and they're smiling at each other and Nathan's secretary walks by and thinks there's a whole lot of gay in that room.
Which Telepath Matt doesn't hear because he's too busy smiling at Mohinder. And Telepath (Among Other Things) Peter doesn't hear her either because he's too busy smiling at Nathan.
The End.
Rating: Um, I live in a different country so I don't know what American rating this would be, but I think PG-13 or maybe R is the right one? It has mentions of self-touching, anyway.
Summary: I've always hated how Matt and Mohinder are just conveniently secretly gay in fics, ignoring canon like Mira, Eden, Audrey and Janice. I always see them more as "Mattsexual" and "Mohindersexual", which i think is more romantic anyway. :) This is my way of attempting to humorously address this issue. Keyword: attempt. This is only my second fanfic, people, and my first non-weird drabbley one! Have mercy, please.
Disclaimer: No heroes ownership for me!
Mohinder's brow knotted in confusion. Frustrated after a solid five hours sitting at his computer trying to figure out some "genetic, scientific thing" (as Matt and Molly were prone to calling his hard work) that basically boiled down to whether or not someone's life was saved, he had done what every procrastinator does at some point in their lives - he Googled himself.
Mohinder wasn't special in any genetic way, save perhaps his blood and his blood alone being able to cure a deadly disease. While that may have been impressive a year ago, now he knew there were far more outstanding abilities. HIs apartment was home to a telepath and a clairvoyant, to begin with, not to mention all the other crazy things he had seen. So Mohinder didn't consider himself special. He wasn't a lot of things, in fact. But he was curious. He clicked on the links.
Now he was trying to figure out exactly when the internet got so filthy minded, and why everyone on the planet had decided that he had been intimate with Sylar, and why they thought that his current living situation with Officer Matt Parkman was more than just a friendly relationship born of convenience. It was like his past relationships, not to mention Matt's marriage to Janice, had never happened!
"Janice", Matt heard Mohinder think as he started up the stairs to the sixth floor they lived on, (determined to stay in shape because he was a detective now, dammit, and he couldn't afford to be overweight and unfit if he wanted to do well and stay safe in his profession and quite frankly his self esteem couldn't afford it either because if he had to listen to one more woman gush about how beautiful Mohinder is, or if he has to see that flat, defined, beautifully brown stomach as Mohinder comes out of the bathroom, jeans on and rubbing his hair with a towel as he heads into the kitchen one more time he was going to take his Important Detective Gun and shoot himself with it) home from work a bit early. Janice? Was she here? Was Mohinder on the phone to her? A couple of months ago Matt would have been running up these stairs or bolting back down the couple he'd already conquered to poke frantically at the elevator button but that was when he wanted to get back together with her, back when he was still in love with her, and thinking about her hurt, and he hurt every day because he thought about her every day. Now he didn't know how he felt about Janice except he knew that it wasn't excitement about hearing her voice, rather it was fear, and so he did the cowardly thing and walked slower.
What on earth prompted these people to write such things? It was almost insulting to the gay community, Mohinder seethed, that two men living together had to automatically equal homosexuality in the minds of so many.
Mohinder was appalled at how many people could be so very shallow-minded. Not to mention psychologically ill - how was it even possible that so many people found the idea of the two Petrelli brothers being in love appealing? Admittedly, he had met these men, and Nathan did like to touch Peter frequently, and Peter was quite obsessed with his older brother to the point where he often felt he couldn't function without him...come to think of it, they were a little co-dependent, Mohinder conceded. But in a sexual relationship? That was just ludicrous.
"Petrellicest", Matt heard in his mind as he got to the first floor. Petrel...Petrellicest? WHAT? Matt tried to figure out if Petrellicest could mean anything other than what he was thinking it meant as he decided to walk a bit quicker up these stairs, deciding that even if his ex-wife was in his apartment right now, if she was having a conversation with Mohinder that involved him thinking the phrase "Petrellicest" then he was positive he wanted in. Immediately.
There were so many bizarre things that people had taken for granted about his home life that were just ludicrous, Mohinder thought angrily, deciding to move right past the Petrelli issue. For some reason everyone seemed to assume that, aside from the whole issue of Matt and Mohinder apparently wanting to play happy families, they even had time to! This little family of sorts simply did not have time to all go to the park together and hold hands - why on earth did people think (well, okay, he knows why people think, but they're wrong) he asked Matt to move in with him in the first place! It was because he simply did not have the time to take care of Molly all by himself. Even between the two of them they still needed a regular babysitter for when Matt was working and Mohinder was away. This was a three man (or rather, two men and one college-aged young woman) job.
Now Mohinder was thinking about their babysitter and Matt was on the second floor and wondering how Janice, the Petrellis and Belinda the babysitter could all be swimming around in Mohinder's mind together like this.
And another thing, Molly did not call either of them Dad, Daddy, and Mohinder was fairly certain she did not think of either of them as her father, either. She had had a father, who she had loved, and it hadn't been that long since his death.
Nor did he or Matt consider themselves her father - merely loving guardians. They were not a family (though they had all started thinking of this place as their home and this one time Matt did come over to Mohinder's desk after Molly was in bed, handing him a cup of tea which Mohinder theorized was obviously just an excuse to talk to him, judging by that smile he was trying unsuccessfully to mask, and proved him right by saying softly that he had just found a drawing Molly did of all three of them with love hearts all over the page in her art book and after that Mohinder was trying unsuccessfully to get the smile off his face too).
Was Mohinder thinking about his smile now? Matt was on the third floor and these thoughts were getting clearer as he got closer but he was simply getting more confused.
For heaven's sakes, they've only been living together for six months!
...actually now that Mohinder sort of thinks about it, six months is half a year, and that's really quite a fair amount of times in the grand scheme of things. And maybe he and Matt weren't best friends or lovers, but they enjoyed each other's company fine enough and usually agreed about what was in Molly's best interests. And lately when Mohinder was home and Matt wasn't at work they did sit quietly and Matt asked about his work and actually sounded interested, bless him, and though he wasn't gay, that didn't stop him from acknowledging that Matt was somehow the perfect man - wonderfully manly without being afraid to be beautifully gentle. Somehow it was as easy to picture Matt learning to sew Molly's rogue button back onto her blouse as it was picturing him with a beer in his hand, watching the football. (Which he did often.) It was impossible to picture this man being unfairly cruel to anyone, impossible to imagine this completely heterosexual, red-blooded American policeman being anything but baffled at the way in which his fellow heterosexual, red-blooded American policemen peers usually treated...
Awwww. After a long, boring day at work how nice it is to come home to the thoughts of your roommate singing your praises. A gentle, manly, heterosexual, red-blooded American policeman could get used to this. Fourth floor.
...actually now that Mohinder was being honest he had to admit that while he wasn't gay he had had a fling with a man, before Mira, and while he was still very much attracted to women he supposed he was actually bisexual and now that he was looking at all of these disgusting stories he had to admit the idea of Matt had been firmly planted in his mind and was sprouting at a rapid rate and maybe all of this wasn't quite as disgusting as he first thought.
Whoa, what? Mohinder's bi? Okay, I know he thinks I'm not prejudiced and I'm not dammit but I am still kind of weirded out by this newsflash. Fifth floor. Maybe I should start blocking whatever is going on in that head of his. I'm probably being really invasive. I'll just shut it out and go back to wondering what the hell Petrellicest means. Yeah.
Maybe Matt was exactly Mohinder's idea of a perfect partner, sans certain anatomical features, and it was scaring the crap out of him because no matter what these deranged fangirls might think, Matt was NOT gay, and probably wasn't bisexual either, and they weren't even comfortable enough to sit next too close next to each other on the couch or bump into each other in the kitchen without it being horribly awkward. (Well, actually, Matt never seemed to mind at all how close he sat, or if they bumped into each other, and sometimes put his wonderfully broad hand on Mohinder's back with a "hey, man, maybe you should get some rest" as Mohinder cursed at his computer, but that was typical Matt, completely oblivious to social stigmas, not even thinking twice about the fact that he was in such close proximity to another male).
These thoughts about how sweetly innocent Matt is are NOT helping Mohinder at all and Mohinder doesn't have a clue what to do or what he even thinks about anything anymore so he turns off his computer monitor, goes into his bedroom, closes the door and put his hand down his pants.
Now Matt's on the sixth floor and he's walking towards their door and he has been trying not to listen in but he's still caught a few of Mohinder's thoughts, like perfect partner, and wonderfully broad hands, and sweet innocence, but he's still not prepared for the mental moans of "Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt," over and over in his mind and Matt is officially freaking the fuck out and he's sooo not walking in that door no matter how curious he is about Petrellicest and yet he doesn't want to leave either so he sits down outside their front door, and listens, and doesn't know what to think, and knows he should NOT be listening to this, but doesn't stop.
And then a while later Matt does go in, and he doesn't kiss Mohinder who is calm and composed and sipping tea at his desk (he thinks about doing it, but he's not sure if he even wants to or not, so he doesn't) and he doesn't ask Mohinder what Petrellicest is either (although later he Googles it and can't stop laughing once he manages to decipher all the words because, seriously, Nathan and Peter so ARE gay for each other and this is the funniest shit he's ever read, not that he reads a lot) and they don't live happily ever after (they're heroes, after all) but after about a week Matt starts putting his hand on Mohinder's back again, and when he hears that relieved "Thank god" he decides to do it a bit more often.
So they sit on the couch nice and close and and Matt puts his hand on Mohinder's back and Mohinder starts putting his hand on Matt's back sometimes and Matt likes the way it feels and allows himself to think a little bit more often about Mohinder in those jeans rubbing himself with that towel. And Matt begins to wonder if there's such a thing as Mohindersexual.
A couple months after that they're not all going to the park together and Molly hasn't called either of them Dad, and Matt and Mohinder aren't lovers but they sure as hell are touching each other a lot, and they're at Nathan's office for something heroic and Peter is there and Nathan and Peter keep looking at each other and touching each other a lot too and suddenly Matt and Mohinder look at each other and thinking the same thought: Petrellicest. Mohinder is laughing in Matt's head and Matt is laughing in Mohinder's head because he can do that now, and they're smiling at each other and Nathan's secretary walks by and thinks there's a whole lot of gay in that room.
Which Telepath Matt doesn't hear because he's too busy smiling at Mohinder. And Telepath (Among Other Things) Peter doesn't hear her either because he's too busy smiling at Nathan.
The End.