I don't think that the crime of a relationship is found within the commitment and the monogomy. I think it is found in letting it become, what you described as the social norm.
You say you've been hurt by people cheating on you and vice versa. So, let me ask you this... say you meet someone and you happen to fall in love with them. You're ideology is that you don't neccessarily want to be with just them, and you explain this to them, and they're okay with that so long as you are okay with the same. So you grow with this person. The more you learn and experience with them, the more you fall. Then, one day, this person has the oppurtunity to experience something extra ordinary... an all expenses paid trip to India, or a chance to meet a Nobel Peace Prize winner or whatever you might be in to. That person has a chance to share this experience with whomever they'd like, and they choose another lover. Can you seriously say that wouldn't hurt you
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Tirzah, I'm so glad you of all people are adding input on this subject, because it's a lot less productive when it's just my own voice that I listen to, and also, you are in a position right now that is completely antithetical from where I am right now, which makes for a really different and fresh perspective. Also, on that line of thinking, congratulations on everything that's happening in your life. It's really awesome to see someone so happy and experiencing such good things. Another reason I'm glad you replied is because no one really wants to talk about these kind of things, but I've always thought such dialogue to be extremely rewarding
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This does look like a declaration of promiscuity, but it really isn't. As I get older the hookups all start to feel the same and stale. I want to clarify this, I believe that a monogomous relationship, or at the very least an ongoing, long term love between two people can be everything that it's cracked up to be, and deep down I want that. There was a time when I didn't, and by the time that my values finally changed it was too late, and rightfully so. Then I pursued another and became unhealthily attached in the traditional sense, so that when karma (you know the kind I had coming) came back at me, I was bombarded by the most negative feelings. I want to avoid these negative feelings now, more than anything, and see if there is a way I can structure my approach to somehow factor out the bullshit and just feel real unconditional love. I don't think I can do that in a traditional relationship even though you and countless other people might be able to. I get too wrapped up in what it makes me to be with this person, along with
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Keep me posted!
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You say you've been hurt by people cheating on you and vice versa. So, let me ask you this... say you meet someone and you happen to fall in love with them. You're ideology is that you don't neccessarily want to be with just them, and you explain this to them, and they're okay with that so long as you are okay with the same. So you grow with this person. The more you learn and experience with them, the more you fall. Then, one day, this person has the oppurtunity to experience something extra ordinary... an all expenses paid trip to India, or a chance to meet a Nobel Peace Prize winner or whatever you might be in to. That person has a chance to share this experience with whomever they'd like, and they choose another lover. Can you seriously say that wouldn't hurt you ( ... )
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