Why don't I live in Australia?

[matthewdevine]

BRISBANE, Australia - A man found asleep in a motorized wheelchair on a highway in northern Australia was charged with drunk driving, police said Monday

Comments

[file_under]

i've tried several times to comment to this and i'm just at a loss. and consumed with really illogical questions like, if you can get arrested for drunk-driving in a wheelchair, why aren't people arrested for drunk walking?

also, are the charges more severe if the horse you're riding is also drunk?

this is how my brain works sometimes. i apologize.

[matthewdevine]

Seriously, I mean a horse isn't a motorized vehicle. But if you can be arrested for operating a horse while under the influence, why not your feet? It makes no sense to me either.

I'd be willing to bet you'd be charged more, and on top of that face animal cruelty fines. Not to mention the backlash one would face from PETA. I don't need someone bringing Mr. Ed onto my porch and having him shit there as retaliation. I'll stick to operating my motorized scooter after a few beers.

Don't worry, I was asking myself the same questions.

[a_chung]

I FUCKING READ THIS AND WAS LIKE AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MAT.

Erm. I mean before you posted it here. In my gleeful laughter I forgot about making sense. As usual.

[matthewdevine]

i love how when my friends hear about someone doing something stupid while under the influence, the first person to pop into is myself. I probably shouldn't be flattered, but strangely enough, I totally am.

Luckily, I too speak the official language of our kingdom, lubenese, and understood where you were coming from.

[a_chung]

I think it's just that it was so specific. Mainly that he got caught. I know loads of people who would drink/drive a motorised wheelchair. I know you who would get busted doing it. This is why you are my king, King Lubey. Incidentally, if Lubanese is written in anything other than eyeliner, flying lube monkeys tear out the perpetrator's eyes. TRUE STORY.

[matthewdevine]

GOOOOOOOIN TO THE CHAPLE AND WE'RE GOOOOOONNA GET MAAAAAAARIED

[frankiero]

i don't even know where to start.

[matthewdevine]

the amazing shennanigans older people get into these days!

[jonradtke]

We were at a wedding in Australia? Don't let them get you down, Mat. You don't look a day over 60.

[matthewdevine]

you're going to put me in a far earlier grave than i was anticipating.

[levine]

LMFAO NOW I GET IT

[matthewdevine]

LMAO did you not see the picture that accompanied this post before?

[levine]

No, I did not Matthew, some of us are out there getting high and not paying attention to details.

[matthewdevine]

Some of you are luckier than the rest of us poor saps!