Week 8

[matthewj_1987]

a Poem...

newness
a begining comes after an end
the end has passed and emerging from the cacoon u kept me in
my wings are drying

you kept me in a buble... 
i hoped our love would break that cacoon
our love wasnt enough

it took my anger, to break free
to put up with you any longer, i would implode
i grew with u

the growth was hinderd
you were like a

Comments

Comment to matthewj_1987: "a Poem"

[carmel_dobson]

After reading this poem, I couldn’t help but comment. It is a great poem which is just bursting with emotion. As a reader I can really feel what you’re feeling… you express yourself so well. I have not experienced what you are expressing, yet I can feel it. It’s so easy to draw what you are feeling, what you have gone through. Your use of metaphors is GREAT! They create such a great image in the mind, but they are also simple. It makes it easy for the reader to understand. I can really sense the entrapment you felt with the imagery of the cacoon, and your wanting to break free of it. I also sense from the poem, that you didn’t want this relationship to end; you wanted it to work, but you came to the realisation that it just couldn’t work. The end lines show that you feel better for letting go, even though it may have been hard to do so. While you saw the positives of this relationship, “nurturing me”, you wanted something more, you wanted to experience the world WITH this person not in ACCORDANCE with this person- you didn’t want them

great poem

[aussielatina]

Hey there Matt can I say I really enjoyed this poem, your technique in this really captures the way one feels after a break up. I know how you are feeling it really does hurt doesn't it? I love the line "If you broke down your greenhouse you couldve become my forest" Its the harsh reality of a relationship I guess you give you whole self to them and sometimes they are ruthless and tread on your heart. This line reminds me that in order to have a successful relationship you have to both be in that forest breathing the same air, knowing the same things, coinciding as one. I am sorry things did not work out but as you say "newness" is presented to you and with it will come someone willing to breath that fresh air with you.