I spit lines that stick to your mind like I was Spider-Man ( Read more... )

I think I lost a few IQ points today. We had to blow up a whole bunch of balloons at work with a helium tank, and I think I spent more time with helium in my lungs than I did oxygen. But yea, singing Sinatra songs with a chipmunk voice is quite entertaining.

I have work in less than 4 hours. I thought I'd make note of that ( Read more... )

If you can't handle the taste of Tanqueray, it's probably because you have a vagina that you haven't discovered yet ( Read more... )

I just got drunk and I'm home already.

This isn't fair. I should be out being ridiculous. Instead I'm home posting inane rants on the internet. My head is swimming right now. I have to be at work at 8 tomorrow. My perfect spelling and grammar in my drunken stupor still amaze me. These cheddar fries are not soaking up a goddamn thing. Ugh.

So I got the first season of Heroes in the mail today, and it's the most excited I've been in a while ( Read more... )

I stole an entire cheesecake from Stop & Shop. I plan on eating the whole thing tomorrow, by myself. I regret nothing.

Real bored.

Folks, it just hasn't been my day ( Read more... )

I wonder what my mp3 player's been up to these days...I haven't seen him in a while ( Read more... )

NBC critically acclaimed series "Heroes" returns for its second season tonight at 9pm ( Read more... )