Did I tell you about the telemarketing scam I came up with?
1. Buy a bunch of parrots 2. Train them to talk 3. Commence selling shit over the phone.
As I see it, this method has two advantages:
1. You don't have to pay employees 2. Who wouldn't want to buy something from a parrot?
Anyway, whenever someone calls trying to sell something I just tell them that the previous occupants who they've called up have moved out (this is a lie, we are still there), and then they ask if I'm interested in whatever, and I'm all "no" and they're all ";_;".
This reminds me of when this guy tried to sell my entry coupons for some thing to win a car.
"Come on, it's only $5 per ticket, or $50 for a book of them!" "Nah, that's too much." "But it's to support Port! Come on, you like Port, right?" "Yeah, I spose so" "Most Port fans are buying entire books of them!" "Well if you've sold so many tickets, I guess my chances of winning aren't very good, then." "....not *that* many people bought full books!"
I had a guy call 'This is Matt from Telstra (whisper .com) (He also had a very strong indian accent.
'Hi Matt' 'Is your mobile with Telstra *whispers .com* 'Yeah' (me thinking this was telstra 'do you pay the bill' 'yeah well the account is in my name, I'm on a cap and it's direct debit there shouldn't be an issue with the bill' 'oh there's not!' *lists whole range of products* 'I already told you, I' on a cap.' 'what cap is that?' 'You're from telstra don't you have that information' 'no miss, telstraCOM.' 'Oh then I'm not interested' 'You're not' 'No I've bene on the phone for 20 minutes under the pretence that you were from telstra and that there was an issue with the plan I'm on' *man hangs up*
Comments 4
1. Buy a bunch of parrots
2. Train them to talk
3. Commence selling shit over the phone.
As I see it, this method has two advantages:
1. You don't have to pay employees
2. Who wouldn't want to buy something from a parrot?
Anyway, whenever someone calls trying to sell something I just tell them that the previous occupants who they've called up have moved out (this is a lie, we are still there), and then they ask if I'm interested in whatever, and I'm all "no" and they're all ";_;".
This reminds me of when this guy tried to sell my entry coupons for some thing to win a car.
"Come on, it's only $5 per ticket, or $50 for a book of them!"
"Nah, that's too much."
"But it's to support Port! Come on, you like Port, right?"
"Yeah, I spose so"
"Most Port fans are buying entire books of them!"
"Well if you've sold so many tickets, I guess my chances of winning aren't very good, then."
"....not *that* many people bought full books!"
In conclusion, this comment has gotten rather
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'Hi Matt'
'Is your mobile with Telstra *whispers .com*
'Yeah' (me thinking this was telstra
'do you pay the bill'
'yeah well the account is in my name, I'm on a cap and it's direct debit there shouldn't be an issue with the bill'
'oh there's not!'
*lists whole range of products*
'I already told you, I' on a cap.'
'what cap is that?'
'You're from telstra don't you have that information'
'no miss, telstraCOM.'
'Oh then I'm not interested'
'You're not'
'No I've bene on the phone for 20 minutes under the pretence that you were from telstra and that there was an issue with the plan I'm on'
*man hangs up*
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