Wow... I can see Hopkins and others beginning to take effect on your experiments with alliteration... I like especially the line "Cascading crying calling the weeping pines" which seems to bring nature and its moods vividly into the picture. Again I think you can sit with this poem for a while and then gently tease it into a more perfect shape. Some poets like Yeats and Hopkins are recorded as saying that they would work over their poems for years until it was "just right"... but of course some times one just "hits it" and doesn't want to change a thing... Michael
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Michael
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