Fic
Mainly because I haven't written anything silly and fluffy in quite a long time.
Title: The Swedish Chef Never Had This Much Fun in a Kitchen
Rating: Soft R
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Genre: Fluff
Summary: It’s James’s birthday and Sirius would like to bake him a cake with the assistance of Remus. Where there is cake-baking, there is shagging.
Disclaimer: Don’t own ‘em.
A/N: A version of this plot-bunny jumped into my head yesterday in minnow_53’s LJ. If any of you saw her post, you should recognize a certain something. Unbetaed and horribly clichéd. Concrit and comments always welcome.
Cross posted to remusxsirius and two_boys
~
“Come on! Hurry up!” Sirius said frustrated to Remus.
“Why do we have to hurry?” Remus answered, resisting the fervent tugging on his arm that was Sirius attempting to pull him up from his bed. Remus mused to himself that Sirius should realize by now that he cannot overpower him, the silly boy.
“It’s Prongs’s birthday! We must go down to the kitchen now, while he’s still at Quidditch, to bake him his cake!” Sirius said adamantly.
“Ah,” Remus said. Of course he knew that it was James’s birthday, but he hadn’t realized he was being recruited into baking confectionary for the boy. He slacked his arm and was pulled up by Sirius.
“See? I am stronger than you,” Sirius said as he dragged Remus across the room and downstairs.
“Yes, I see,” Remus replied, rolling his eyes.
~
Sirius tickled the pear in the painting of the bowl of fruit that led to the kitchens. It was meant to be a secret, but yet every Hogwarts student knew the trick. It was a wonder that the entire student body weren’t at least fifty pounds overweight each and that the pear wasn’t rubbed clear off the painting, so frequently was this door accessed by students.
Remus was shoved through the portrait hole and six house elves immediately descended upon him offering up an assortment of foods from treacle tart to roast chicken. “Er, no thanks,” Remus said, waving them away. It made him awfully uncomfortable to have the elves swarming around him, eager looks in their eyes.
Sirius obviously did not feel the same way as he was loading his pockets with biscuits and shoving a heaping spoonful of some sort of a pudding into his mouth. Remus was looking at him sternly and when Sirius realized this, he blushed and swallowed.
“What else do the young masters want?” a pinkish-tinged elf asked.
“A cake!” Sirius declared and moments later a three-tier one covered in delicate pink flowers was hovering between the boys. Sirius stuck his finger into the frosting and sucked it off. “Mmm, delicious. But we are here to bake a cake of our own.” The elf moved the cake to an empty countertop.
“Everything the young masters need is right here,” the same elf said, pointing to a countertop, which had just become covered with a variety of ingredients, bowls, measuring implements, and pans. “We’ll leave you to do your baking.”
Sirius strutted over and Remus followed. “D’you know how to bake a cake, Moony?”
“Um, no. Is that why you dragged me down here? Because you thought I knew how to bake a cake?” Remus said indignantly.
“No, ‘course not,” Sirius said, turning away briskly. “Oh, look, they’ve left us a cookbook! Elves are dead useful, aren’t they?” Sirius handed the book to Remus. “Look through and see what there is.”
Remus put out his hand for the book and started thumbing through it with Sirius peering over his shoulder.
“Oh! That one!” Sirius exclaimed.
“Oh, no! That one!” Sirius said again a few pages later.
“No! It must be that one!” he blurted again.
“Sirius!” Remus yelled. “Why did you give me the book when you so obviously want to choose the cake yourself? Here,” he said thrusting the book into Sirius’s hands. “Now choose one.”
“You needn’t get into a strop, Moony,” Sirius sulked. “This one’s alright.” He was pointing to a photo of a chocolate cake. “OK, you read the instructions and I’ll follow them.”
Remus sighed and grabbed the book back. “It says to cream the butter and sugar.”
“Well how do I do that?” Sirius asked, grabbing butter with one hand and sugar in the other.
“One would assume you mix them together.”
“Right.” Sirius began pouring sugar into a bowl.
“Padfoot! Don’t you want the measurements?” Remus stopped him.
“Oh, there’re measurements?” Sirius asked innocently.
“Yes. See? Here,” Remus said pointing to the ingredients list.
“That doesn’t seem like nearly enough sugar,” Sirius said upon perusing the page. “My way is better, I think.”
“Padfoot,” Remus began, then stopped after seeing the look of ignorance on his boyfriend’s face. “Nevermind.” Remus placed his hand on the side of Sirius’s face and kissed him.
“What’s next?” Sirius asked, licking his lips.
“Add the eggs and the chocolate, which needs to be melted first,” Remus answered.
Sirius broke open an egg and added it into the mix. “Wow, that was fun,” he said, breaking open another and another and another.
Remus bit his tongue.
Sirius then opened up the packet of chocolate the placed it into a bowl. He took out his wand and said, “Fervefacio.” The chocolate melted instantly and Sirius began pouring it in with the other ingredients. He stopped pouring and set the bowl onto the counter and stuck his finger in and sucked on it.
Remus gasped. Sirius smiled and did it again. Remus moaned and grabbed Sirius’s hand, sticking his finger back into the chocolate, but this time sucking it off himself. It was Sirius’s turn to moan.
“Moony. The cake. We must make the cake,” he whimpered.
“Fine,” Remus huffed, his nostrils flaring. “Add in the flour.”
Sirius took the bag of flour, opened the flap and began pouring. Dust flew all over and covered his hands and face with the white powder, as much flour on the floor as in the bowl.
Remus laughed. “Sirius, you’ve flour everywhere. Come here.” He took a towel from the counter and wiped along Sirius’s hairline and forehead. When he removed the towel, Sirius was blushing. “Poor, Padfoot,” Remus crooned. “You look quite sexy with flour all over you like that.” He kissed him again.
“Do I?” Sirius asked meekly.
“Mmhmm,” Remus replied, sticking his finger back into the bowl with chocolate. He put the finger to Sirius’s lips and let him draw it into his mouth. Remus pulled it out and put it into his own mouth, sucking hard, letting Sirius see his tongue swirling around. “I don’t think this cake is going to turn out very well, Padfoot.”
“I suppose not,” he answered, a bit disheartened.
“But I can think of something else to do with this chocolate,” Remus said, pushing against Sirius and moving them as one to the floor. He grabbed the bowl of chocolate and stripped Sirius’s clothes off of him.
In a matter of moments, Sirius didn’t mind flour was creeping into places it wasn’t meant to go.
~
“Happy Birthday, Prongs!” Sirius bellowed as a sweaty and dirty James came into the dormitory, Peter in tow. “Look, we’ve a cake for you!” Sirius said proudly.
“Cheers!” James answered. “Why are there pink flowers all over my cake?” he asked quizzically.
“It was all the house elves had,” Sirius muttered. “We were going to make you one, but-“
“We decided not to,” Remus interrupted, a flush rising up his neck and face.
Fin.
Title: The Swedish Chef Never Had This Much Fun in a Kitchen
Rating: Soft R
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Genre: Fluff
Summary: It’s James’s birthday and Sirius would like to bake him a cake with the assistance of Remus. Where there is cake-baking, there is shagging.
Disclaimer: Don’t own ‘em.
A/N: A version of this plot-bunny jumped into my head yesterday in minnow_53’s LJ. If any of you saw her post, you should recognize a certain something. Unbetaed and horribly clichéd. Concrit and comments always welcome.
Cross posted to remusxsirius and two_boys
~
“Come on! Hurry up!” Sirius said frustrated to Remus.
“Why do we have to hurry?” Remus answered, resisting the fervent tugging on his arm that was Sirius attempting to pull him up from his bed. Remus mused to himself that Sirius should realize by now that he cannot overpower him, the silly boy.
“It’s Prongs’s birthday! We must go down to the kitchen now, while he’s still at Quidditch, to bake him his cake!” Sirius said adamantly.
“Ah,” Remus said. Of course he knew that it was James’s birthday, but he hadn’t realized he was being recruited into baking confectionary for the boy. He slacked his arm and was pulled up by Sirius.
“See? I am stronger than you,” Sirius said as he dragged Remus across the room and downstairs.
“Yes, I see,” Remus replied, rolling his eyes.
~
Sirius tickled the pear in the painting of the bowl of fruit that led to the kitchens. It was meant to be a secret, but yet every Hogwarts student knew the trick. It was a wonder that the entire student body weren’t at least fifty pounds overweight each and that the pear wasn’t rubbed clear off the painting, so frequently was this door accessed by students.
Remus was shoved through the portrait hole and six house elves immediately descended upon him offering up an assortment of foods from treacle tart to roast chicken. “Er, no thanks,” Remus said, waving them away. It made him awfully uncomfortable to have the elves swarming around him, eager looks in their eyes.
Sirius obviously did not feel the same way as he was loading his pockets with biscuits and shoving a heaping spoonful of some sort of a pudding into his mouth. Remus was looking at him sternly and when Sirius realized this, he blushed and swallowed.
“What else do the young masters want?” a pinkish-tinged elf asked.
“A cake!” Sirius declared and moments later a three-tier one covered in delicate pink flowers was hovering between the boys. Sirius stuck his finger into the frosting and sucked it off. “Mmm, delicious. But we are here to bake a cake of our own.” The elf moved the cake to an empty countertop.
“Everything the young masters need is right here,” the same elf said, pointing to a countertop, which had just become covered with a variety of ingredients, bowls, measuring implements, and pans. “We’ll leave you to do your baking.”
Sirius strutted over and Remus followed. “D’you know how to bake a cake, Moony?”
“Um, no. Is that why you dragged me down here? Because you thought I knew how to bake a cake?” Remus said indignantly.
“No, ‘course not,” Sirius said, turning away briskly. “Oh, look, they’ve left us a cookbook! Elves are dead useful, aren’t they?” Sirius handed the book to Remus. “Look through and see what there is.”
Remus put out his hand for the book and started thumbing through it with Sirius peering over his shoulder.
“Oh! That one!” Sirius exclaimed.
“Oh, no! That one!” Sirius said again a few pages later.
“No! It must be that one!” he blurted again.
“Sirius!” Remus yelled. “Why did you give me the book when you so obviously want to choose the cake yourself? Here,” he said thrusting the book into Sirius’s hands. “Now choose one.”
“You needn’t get into a strop, Moony,” Sirius sulked. “This one’s alright.” He was pointing to a photo of a chocolate cake. “OK, you read the instructions and I’ll follow them.”
Remus sighed and grabbed the book back. “It says to cream the butter and sugar.”
“Well how do I do that?” Sirius asked, grabbing butter with one hand and sugar in the other.
“One would assume you mix them together.”
“Right.” Sirius began pouring sugar into a bowl.
“Padfoot! Don’t you want the measurements?” Remus stopped him.
“Oh, there’re measurements?” Sirius asked innocently.
“Yes. See? Here,” Remus said pointing to the ingredients list.
“That doesn’t seem like nearly enough sugar,” Sirius said upon perusing the page. “My way is better, I think.”
“Padfoot,” Remus began, then stopped after seeing the look of ignorance on his boyfriend’s face. “Nevermind.” Remus placed his hand on the side of Sirius’s face and kissed him.
“What’s next?” Sirius asked, licking his lips.
“Add the eggs and the chocolate, which needs to be melted first,” Remus answered.
Sirius broke open an egg and added it into the mix. “Wow, that was fun,” he said, breaking open another and another and another.
Remus bit his tongue.
Sirius then opened up the packet of chocolate the placed it into a bowl. He took out his wand and said, “Fervefacio.” The chocolate melted instantly and Sirius began pouring it in with the other ingredients. He stopped pouring and set the bowl onto the counter and stuck his finger in and sucked on it.
Remus gasped. Sirius smiled and did it again. Remus moaned and grabbed Sirius’s hand, sticking his finger back into the chocolate, but this time sucking it off himself. It was Sirius’s turn to moan.
“Moony. The cake. We must make the cake,” he whimpered.
“Fine,” Remus huffed, his nostrils flaring. “Add in the flour.”
Sirius took the bag of flour, opened the flap and began pouring. Dust flew all over and covered his hands and face with the white powder, as much flour on the floor as in the bowl.
Remus laughed. “Sirius, you’ve flour everywhere. Come here.” He took a towel from the counter and wiped along Sirius’s hairline and forehead. When he removed the towel, Sirius was blushing. “Poor, Padfoot,” Remus crooned. “You look quite sexy with flour all over you like that.” He kissed him again.
“Do I?” Sirius asked meekly.
“Mmhmm,” Remus replied, sticking his finger back into the bowl with chocolate. He put the finger to Sirius’s lips and let him draw it into his mouth. Remus pulled it out and put it into his own mouth, sucking hard, letting Sirius see his tongue swirling around. “I don’t think this cake is going to turn out very well, Padfoot.”
“I suppose not,” he answered, a bit disheartened.
“But I can think of something else to do with this chocolate,” Remus said, pushing against Sirius and moving them as one to the floor. He grabbed the bowl of chocolate and stripped Sirius’s clothes off of him.
In a matter of moments, Sirius didn’t mind flour was creeping into places it wasn’t meant to go.
~
“Happy Birthday, Prongs!” Sirius bellowed as a sweaty and dirty James came into the dormitory, Peter in tow. “Look, we’ve a cake for you!” Sirius said proudly.
“Cheers!” James answered. “Why are there pink flowers all over my cake?” he asked quizzically.
“It was all the house elves had,” Sirius muttered. “We were going to make you one, but-“
“We decided not to,” Remus interrupted, a flush rising up his neck and face.
Fin.