(no subject)
A very (belated) birthday to minnow_53! I hope it was a lovely day for you. *hugs*
At the suggestion of Jim's psychiatrist, he and I began marriage counseling last night. It is a temporary thing, which I figure can't hurt. We'll be going once a week (though technically every-other week for the first few weeks because of scheduling issues) for a bit and then spread out some additional sessions.
It went alright last night, though I don't feel that much was accomplished during it; however, I didn't have great expectations from one session.
What I, and I think we, want out of it is better communication between ourselves. We've never had great communication with one another (I mean about important things), which always worked fine because we never really had any big issues until these past couple of years when shit hit the fan.
The doctor surmised we're both horribly independent people (true) and that is likely a major crux to our problem. So, we have to make an effort to ask each other for things, says she - anything from 'Can you get me a glass of water?' to more personal things. She also thinks we need to make time for one another, which at this point is something I wanted to do anyway - it just took a third person to say we "had" to do it. Money is an issue for us in all things, so I think 1-2 times a month, Jim and I going out to dinner and/or a movie (or a museum or whatever) is feasible. His mom also agreed to come over and watch William one night a week so we could go work out together in the class we used to take together. (She's also watching him while we go to counseling) Honestly, I'm unsure how long that will last (her babysitting regularly) because she's so unreliable and with warm weather comes her flighty tendencies, but maybe she'll surprise us.
At the suggestion of Jim's psychiatrist, he and I began marriage counseling last night. It is a temporary thing, which I figure can't hurt. We'll be going once a week (though technically every-other week for the first few weeks because of scheduling issues) for a bit and then spread out some additional sessions.
It went alright last night, though I don't feel that much was accomplished during it; however, I didn't have great expectations from one session.
What I, and I think we, want out of it is better communication between ourselves. We've never had great communication with one another (I mean about important things), which always worked fine because we never really had any big issues until these past couple of years when shit hit the fan.
The doctor surmised we're both horribly independent people (true) and that is likely a major crux to our problem. So, we have to make an effort to ask each other for things, says she - anything from 'Can you get me a glass of water?' to more personal things. She also thinks we need to make time for one another, which at this point is something I wanted to do anyway - it just took a third person to say we "had" to do it. Money is an issue for us in all things, so I think 1-2 times a month, Jim and I going out to dinner and/or a movie (or a museum or whatever) is feasible. His mom also agreed to come over and watch William one night a week so we could go work out together in the class we used to take together. (She's also watching him while we go to counseling) Honestly, I'm unsure how long that will last (her babysitting regularly) because she's so unreliable and with warm weather comes her flighty tendencies, but maybe she'll surprise us.