The Devil You Know 10
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A/N: Since a number of readers have asked, yes, Bruce will be along eventually. ;) I was unfamiliar with the character for a while, but I now have a better understanding/liking of him, so expect him to pop in later, though it might take a few chapters (I've already written through 12 sans Bruce, mwahaha!).
Just... yeah.
Winter Wonderland
The world was awash in shades of gray. It was like living in a black and white photograph, the way winter sucked the color from the world. It had snowed heavily the night before and was snowing still, though only just. Snowflakes clung in icy clumps to Loki's hair, and the god shook them away impatiently.
The ice and snow reminded Loki of Jotunheim, and colorless and cold was exactly how he felt.
Tony, on the other hand, was like a little kid, whooping and diving into banks of snow, making snow angels and snowmen doing naughty things to each other. Loki trailed after him and felt the snow crunch underfoot, smiling softly despite himself.
It was Central Park, and they were far from alone, but here amidst the bare-limbed trees and white ground they were in a world all their own. In the distance, children cheered and laughed, accompanied by the scrape of sleds, and Loki almost hated them for being so happy.
But then Loki looked down at Tony making another snow angel, at his red cheeks and the ice crystals caught in his goatee, and laughed before he could stop himself. Tony folded his arms behind his head and smirked up at the god.
"What's so funny?" he asked.
"You," Loki said, shaking his head. "You're a child."
He fully expected the snowball that came flying towards his face the next moment, but he still crinkled his nose in irritation at the bloom of wet and cold against his skin.
Loki could retaliate tenfold with magic, but there was something far more satisfying about pinning Tony to the ground and stuffing snow down the back of his shirt with his own hands. Tony bit back a shriek and rolled until he had Loki beneath him. Loki laughed and half-heartedly swatted aside more fistfuls of snow as they were shoved in his face.
Loki grabbed up a clump of snow, only to pause when he realized that the human had stopped laughing. Tony sat back on his haunches and eyed him strangely, brow furrowed in what was either concern or confusion or both.
"Are you alright?" he asked. "Your lips are turning blue. In fact... your face is - "
Loki stiffened and pushed Tony off him with a curse. He ignored the human's surprised, "Oof!" and irritated, "Hey!" in favor of pulling his scarf up to cover as much of his face as he could.
Nonono, he chanted in his mind, his heart thudding with panic. This was why he hated the snow and the cold and had tried to convince Tony to stay the Hell inside, moron!
The last thing he wanted was for Tony to see this, to see what he really was, a fraud, a monster.
A freak.
He clambered to his feet, careful to keep his face angled away from Tony.
"Loki, what...?"
"I'll see you back at the mansion."
"Hey!" Tony's fingers were pressing bruises into his arm before Loki could trigger the teleportation spell. He cursed and recoiled when Tony bent to look up into his face. "Okay, Loki, seriously, you're freaking me out, here."
Tony's gloved hand was slick with melted snow when it touched Loki's cheek and tilted his face into the light. Loki screwed his eyes shut and allowed himself to be maneuvered until he was facing Tony and they were standing toe to toe. The scarf was pulled from his face.
He heard the sharp intake of breath and then Tony's low, "Whoa."
Loki grimaced and opened his eyes, staring defiantly into Tony's, which were round now in surprise.
"Okay," Tony said shakily. "You're blue. Like, smurf blue."
Loki pursed his lips and scowled.
"So... why are you blue, exactly?"
Tony's hand was still on his arm, though the grip was no longer bruising, as though he were afraid that Loki would slip through his hands if he let go. It was a valid concern.
"Because," Loki said, and his voice sounded strained even to his ears, "technically speaking, I am a Frost Giant. I was-" abandoned "-adopted."
He watched Tony's eyebrows shoot up into his hairline. "Oh. Oh man." Then he watched Tony shuffle from foot to foot uncomfortably. The human did not do well with touchy subjects. Loki sighed. "I mean... you're tall but. Giant?"
"Runt." His gaze cut down and to the side. "Hideous, I know."
"What?" Tony sounded genuinely surprised by that, and Loki frowned at him. He realized then that Tony's eyes were still following the edges of his face but there was no repulsion there. "No, no, I just wasn't expecting it." Tony touched Loki's face with one finger, moving seemingly at random, and Loki suspected that he was following the raised markings that accompanied this form. "I think it's kind of cool, actually." Tony's lips twitched up in a smile, and his head tilted to the left the way it did when he was considering something he found particularly fascinating.
The knot in Loki's stomach twisted until it felt hard as rock. "Stop it," he growled, swatting aside Tony's hand and ignoring the lump in his throat. "Frost giants are monsters, do you understand?" He knew he had no right to be snapping at Tony like this, but he couldn't help it. "Thor used to scare me as a child b-by saying that there was a door to Jotunheim under my bed! And... and not even the Jotnar wanted me because I was this - this tiny little freak."
His voice was cracking. Why was his voice cracking?
"So don't tell me that it's 'cool', when it means that I... that I..."
He could barely hear his voice over the ringing in his ears, but from the rawness of his throat, he must have been screaming. His throat closed off before he could finish this last sentence. He was breathing raggedly now, his fists clenched and shaking.
Tony had stepped back, eyes just shy of bugging out and hands palm out in a placating gesture. "Alright," he said. "Alright. I'm sorry. Hey."
Tony placed his hands on Loki's shoulders, moving slowly, cautiously, as though approaching a spooked animal. He squeezed and shook Loki by the shoulders when the god turned away.
"Hey," he said again, more firmly. "Look at me."
Loki looked up, and Tony's eyes were dark and focused and unblinking.
"Is this why you're so fucked up?"
Loki half laughed, half sobbed at the bluntness of the patently-Tony question.
Tony's hands moved to cup either side of Loki's jaw instead. "Look, I don't know what the Hell happened to make you think this, but you are not a-a monster or a freak or whatever the Hell other bullshit you seem to believe."
The cold air stung in Loki's eyes, and he blinked to dispel the moisture gathering there.
"You're Loki. There's no one else like you in the Universe, and I know you think that means you don't belong anywhere, but so what? That's their loss, not yours."
This was not right, that a human should be able to strike right at the heart of him and make him feel small and vulnerable in a way he hadn't since he was a child.
"And you could be magenta for all I care. I'd still want to do you."
Loki laughed breathlessly and twined his fingers with Tony's, holding the human's hands against his cheeks and feeling his warmth bleed into his own chilled skin, even through the gloves. From the slightest widening of Tony's eyes, Loki could tell that his skin was returning to Aesir pink.
And because he was Loki and couldn't allow himself to be vulnerable for long, he smirked and said, "Prove it."
Tony chuckled wickedly before pressing chapped lips to his with a fervor that Loki found pleasantly distracting, and he guided Loki back until the god felt the solid weight and rough surface of a tree behind him. Tony surrounded Loki with his weight and warmth, pressing hands and lips to every inch of exposed skin, eyeing him hungrily as the god's skin blossomed pink under his touch.
Then a snowball hit both of them squarely in the face, and they pulled away from each other, sputtering.
"Get a room!"
Loki turned to see Clint standing at the edge of their clearing, wearing a ridiculously large coat and hat combination that made him look like a human-sized balloon. From the roar of nearby laughter, Loki suspected that Thor was with him, likely standing just beyond the copse of trees.
Loki and Tony exchanged sidelong glances and matching smirks.
"Barton?" Loki called out sweetly, twisting his fingers behind his back in an incantation.
"Yeah, Frosty?" the human called back cheekily.
"You might want to run."
He finished the spell, and the snow around them coalesced into a snowball three yards in diameter and hovered threateningly in the air. Tony let out a low whistle.
"Sweet mother of fuck!" Clint squeaked. He started to scramble backwards along the snowdrifts. With a snap of his fingers, Loki sent the snowball careening in the human's direction.
Next to him, Tony was shaking with laughter, and judging by the blonde head only just visible around the edge of the trees, so was Thor. Watching the great bundle of coat running off with a massive snowball on his tail sent Loki into a fit of chuckles as well.
Still giggling, Tony grabbed Loki by the lapels and drew him into a kiss. "I love you," he said, still laughing.
As one, the two stiffened as it sank in what Tony had just said.
"Uh," Tony sputtered, eyes round as coins. He hastily jumped back and dug his hands into his pockets. "B-b-b-by which I mean, 'you're awesome'."
"Of course," Loki lamely agreed, fighting to ignore his sinking sense of disappointment. Of course, of course, Tony hadn't meant...
"Just a turn of phrase."
"Indeed."
"Like, 'I love ice cream' or 'I love American Idol'."
"Yes."
"Okay?"
"Okay."
"Good."
"Fine."
"Yeah."
"Quite."
Loki looked everywhere but at Tony, and his hands kept fidgeting with the edges of his clothing. He grappled for a distraction, and he got it in the form of Thor, who was ambling towards them now, eyeing them warily.
"Thor!" Tony chirped just as Loki said, "Brother!"
Thor stopped, and his brows furrowed under blond locks turned to icicles in the snow. "Is all well, my friends?" he asked.
"Just peachy," Tony answered, his voice an octave too high for anyone to take seriously. To Loki, he said, "I just remembered that I have this thing - "
"Oh, me too," Loki quickly answered. After a little more awkward shuffling, they smiled and scurried off in opposite directions.
Thor walked with Tony back to the mansion.
"Shit," Tony kept muttering under his breath. "Shit, shit, shit."
But when Thor asked him about it, the human merely shook his head and said, "I'm an idiot."
Thor frowned but knew better than to argue.
Alone, in the cold, Loki whispered, "I love you, too," to the wind.
Footnote: A bit sappy for them, but the shit's gonna hit the fan in the next two chapters. :]