Walls, Doors, Bricks... oh my.....

[mavmaw]

Been a long time since I posted. I'm having one of those periods of time in my life where I seem to be either angry or sad about something and I don't want to inflict it on anyone else, so... I don't post

Comments

[gifted_spirit]

As I mentioned to Tammy... I am at the point where I am Defiantly Clinging to my ANGER and my RIGHT to have it!

I understand.

I still think we should go to a wrecking yard... with baseball bats... and PHYSICALLY EXPRESS SOME ANGER. Then go for a bottle of Wine. Or 4.

Let me know when you want to book it.

[mavmaw]

Thanks hon... I've actually discussed doing this with several folks... always seems to be something that would be so much fun :) Hehehehehehe.... Muhahahhahhahahaha... where's the sledgehammer.....

[anonymous]

Welcome to middle age... I do the same thing, and have watched far too many people die. A lot of us are missing pieces from our lives - I don't know what is easier, having time to say goodbye, or having them just suddenly disappear? With Chad, he suffered - and that's just not right. It had ripples, his family and friends shared in the experience. A fatal car accident - is that any easier? No chance to say goodbye? Also hard on people around. They both suck.

Perhaps it feels like I am now looking at my mortality straight on, but sometimes I wonder how many tomorrows there will be... for others, for myself.

And it leads to the question of what really matters in life. Fame or fortune? Or friends?

Feel better! Your friends think of you.

[mavmaw]

I am very lucky... I have some very wonderful people that love me and call me friend. How can you go wrong? Then why is it that I feel distant? My own doing, I know it but I hope my friend understand and let me make it up to them. It's all I can hope for.

Middle age? I've always been old :) in spirit at least. There are a few folks that can bring the kid out in me... Ronya, Connie and Tony :) Ronya cause she's always drives me to try new things... it's exciting. Connie cause she makes me laugh till I can't breath. Tony, cause he remembers me the way he first saw me and I see that when I look into his eyes. And other friends are always willing to poke and push me and make me feel great... I've just not let them do that of late... been hiding and running away.

I just feel irrational anger at the world, and unfortunately those closest to me are feeling the worst of it.

and now I'm rambling :) I didn't expect so many responses... thanks....

[anonymous]

Little steps - don't let yourself get overwhelmed. You've started a conversation with your friends here. That wasn't too bad, we're all supportive. Tell us what you're thinking - there is no right or wrong, only you. Didn't posting help you reframe what you were thinking, move it into a new light or context?

Sometimes even writing things down, even if you don't post them, is a way of having a discussion with yourself, and thinking things through as you reframe your thoughts and ideas in a verbal context.

Try it! Nobody became a great writer overnight, not even Catalytic.

Write for yourself, not for anyone else. Burn it afterwords, delete it... it's the process that's therapetic, you're not responsible for any spelling, grammer or consistancy errors.

It's all about you. Marvellous MavMav!

[sraointe]

Oh hunny! Sweetheart, never doubt that you are allowed to have anger, it is one of the phases of greiving. Being scared is also quiet reasonable and allowed. You have to go through these phases to heal yourself and as you said, a lot has happened recently

[mavmaw]

thank you sweetie... no matter what happens you always seem to be there for me. I got your phone message and will call shortly...

Love and hugs

[sraointe]

I always will be there for you. Seriously, as I said, unless you slay my family, there is little you could do to deter me from being your friend.
Its time you start believing in yourself as much as everyone else believes in you!

[ersatz_marduk]

You tried to open a door with me in the last few weeks, and that meant a lot. Sorry for letting you down there.

And thank you for communicating like this. I hope it eases up on you again soon.

See you next weekend?

[mavmaw]

You have NOT let me down ... life has a way of getting in the way of best intentions. You are one of those folks that has one of the biggest hearts I know... and you care with pure intent. You are unique and special. I always look forward to seeing you and I'll see you next weekend :)

[seegwa]

The thing about friends, hon, is that they're always there, whether you've shut them out for a while or not.

... always here for you.

[mavmaw]

thanks hon... appreciate it