One more day
Woke up around noon.
I'm depressed.
Talked to Brato.
Went to class and talked to my professor.
I'll retake physics.
Boo.
Retaking courses makes me sick.
I like talking to Brato every day.
She's in Maine for thanksgiving.
As I go home for thanksgiving, I'm left thinking about the semester and what's left of it.
As I go home, I am forced to think about the past.
Again, haunted by things I cannot escape and remembering my youth.
Home is not my refuge.
It is the house I grew up in. I cannot imagine it being anything else.
Once there, I'll have no where to go. For me, hanging out with the family has rarely been about loving them. I suspect that I'll see the things I dislike about them most. For some, it brings great joy in seeing those things in close friends and family. I've felt that way before. It's something that I'm learning to do without. I wonder about other families. How someone like myself would have alliance's among family members and how they all line up. Who care's if they are a homo or a weed smoker or just plain old sucks at life and who doesn't. This thanksgiving I'm with the less competitive side.
Where can I go from here?
The answer to that question is "With time, anywhere you like."
The answer to that question tomorrow morning, is "Home."
Why don't I find solace in that?
At least Mawgui is coming.
For Brato, she'll spend time thinking about Jason. For me, I'll spend time thinking about her.
If I'm lucky I'll find an old friend while I'm there.
I'm depressed.
Talked to Brato.
Went to class and talked to my professor.
I'll retake physics.
Boo.
Retaking courses makes me sick.
I like talking to Brato every day.
She's in Maine for thanksgiving.
As I go home for thanksgiving, I'm left thinking about the semester and what's left of it.
As I go home, I am forced to think about the past.
Again, haunted by things I cannot escape and remembering my youth.
Home is not my refuge.
It is the house I grew up in. I cannot imagine it being anything else.
Once there, I'll have no where to go. For me, hanging out with the family has rarely been about loving them. I suspect that I'll see the things I dislike about them most. For some, it brings great joy in seeing those things in close friends and family. I've felt that way before. It's something that I'm learning to do without. I wonder about other families. How someone like myself would have alliance's among family members and how they all line up. Who care's if they are a homo or a weed smoker or just plain old sucks at life and who doesn't. This thanksgiving I'm with the less competitive side.
Where can I go from here?
The answer to that question is "With time, anywhere you like."
The answer to that question tomorrow morning, is "Home."
Why don't I find solace in that?
At least Mawgui is coming.
For Brato, she'll spend time thinking about Jason. For me, I'll spend time thinking about her.
If I'm lucky I'll find an old friend while I'm there.