Fanservice [4/5]
Title: Fanservice
Author: Maxime (maxime260)
Pairing: KyuMin (Kyuhyun/Sungmin)
Characters: Kyuhyun, Sungmin, Eunhyuk
Genre: Drama, romance
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Love sometimes acts crazy and weird, withdrawing people from each other instead of keeping them together. It's natural, though annoying and hurting.
Part Four: The End
Kyuhyun had never seen Sungmin crying because of him before.
The first time he had seen his boyfriend's tears had been years ago, when they had won an award. Sungmin usually had kept his emotions stable at moments like that but that one time it had been different. He had surprised all the other members, including Kyuhyun, by sheding some tears - on the scene, in public.
Later, there had been that one day when they had been free of any schedules and staying home. He had walked into their room and the first thing that had caught his attention had been a crying Sungmin lying on the bed. When Sungmin had noticed the latter's presence, he had quickly tried to wipe his tears off and turned towards the wall. Kyuhyun remembered clearly how he had stepped to him at that moment and comforted by hugging him and asking what had been wrong.
"I miss my family."
Except those moments, Kyuhyun had never seen the other one bursting into tears, never. Through all those four years he had known Sungmin, there had never been situations in which the elder would cry.
But now he did.
And it was Kyuhyun's fault.
The maknae felt that he became weak because of that sight, how he started to get sweaty and how his head got all dizzy. It was breathtaking, he couldn't watch it as emotionless as he had before; a crying Sungmin was the biggest strike for him, not even an attack on himself could hurt him as much as this single moment did.
He tried to take a deep breath but he suddenly found it hard to do so. He began to lose control over his body which started to act like crazy, with all this sweat and shaking incredibly.
Shit.
Kyuhyun could only stare at Sungmin helplessly and tried to figure out how to react. Should he forget about everything and simply grab the other one into his arms and try to calm him down, keeping him close and kissing his every single tear away? Or would Sungmin push him away and flee, to... to Eunhyuk? Kyuhyun started to bite his lips again - what he had done way too much lately - and punished himself in his thoughts; yes, he had been jealous because of Sungmin's friend. Dreadfully jealous. But it's all your fault, Cho Kyuhyun, your fault. You wouldn't have to be jealous if you hadn't treaten Sungmin like you did.
When he finally realized that everything got really bad - well, Sungmin didn't cry for nothing - he knew that he had to do something, he couldn't just stand there like a fool, watching his beloved person sheding tears like he had never done it before and simply walk away. He felt that it would be a big mistake, bigger than all the other he had done the last days, something which would only testify his great stupidity and imbecility.
Fuck my pride, fuck this all. It leads me to nothing. I have to fix it as fast as I can or I will lose him forever.
"Sungmin..." Kyuhyun spoke at last and quickly ran towards the crying man, stopping right in front of him. If he pushes me away - whatever. I have to do this. He reached out his hands in Sungmin's direction, gently touching his chin and trying to lift his bowed head. When he did so, he managed to make the elder look straight into his eyes and when he noticed how red and swollen Sungmin's eyelids were, his heart skipped a beat and he felt like the biggest jerk on earth. I did this to him...
"Don't cry. Please." he whispered and moved the strands of hair that had fallen into Sungmin's face, lightly touching his skin when he was doing so. Everything seemed to go in the right direction but his concerns soon became reality - Sungmin shook his head and stepped a bit back, frowning.
"Why! You don't care about me anymore so why are you telling me what I should or shouldn't do!" came from the elder's mouth, firmly and loudly. Kyuhyun expected this but he got surprised anyway. Somehow he thought that it would be... easier. Like in fairytales, huh? The prince comes to the princess and everything is fine? But life wasn't a fairytale and he knew that he had hurt Sungmin too much before, he had to do a lot now to make the other one finally forgive him. It was quite egoistic to think otherwise.
But Sungmin, as strong as he might seem, was still a sensible and soft person inside. After saying his own words, his tears burst out again and he definitely couldn't hide them. He quickly turned away from Kyuhyun and it looked like he really wanted to go away now - that was the alarm for Kyuhyun; fast reaction was now necessary.
"That's not true!" the younger man exclaimed and put his arms around Sungmin's waist so that he disabled him. The latter tried to break away, screaming "Let me go!" but Kyuhyun held him stubbornly and didn't even think of doing so.
"Listen to me, Sungmin..."
"NO! I want to-"
"Dammit, Sungmin!" Kyuhyun couldn't take this anymore and finally also began to shout. "I LOVE YOU, OK? I fuckin' love you, I never stopped and of course you're still my boyfriend, there wasn't even a second that I thought in another way! BUT DAMMIT! I miss you so much that it's driving me crazy! And I didn't know what to do to get close to you so I simply did NOTHING, I know that it was wrong and that I messed up. I'm an asshole, right? I admit it. I am. Punish me as much as you want but please, don't make the same mistake I did and don't be stubborn now, let's finally end this childishness. Please..."
Sungmin sighed and stopped escaping.
"Yeah. I wanted to end this a long time ago but you didn't let me."
"I know, Sungmin, I know. Because I'm an idiot. And I was hurt too, you know? When you wanted to fix this by having sex with me-"
"I DIDN'T!" the elder shouted, interrupting Kyuhyun. "Aish. It was a misunderstanding, Kyu, you know that I wouldn't try to do something like this, don't you? I'm not like this... I'm not..."
"And what about staying at Eunhyuk's all nights? Do you think that's ok?"
Finally, Kyuhyun let go of Sungmin and the latter turned towards him, looking him now straight into the face.
"NO! I know it's not! But he was the person who was there for me when you weren't! He comforted me and calmed me down, he was a real friend to me, when you were just sitting there, playing your stupid games... I NEEDED YOU! I wanted you to stand up, walk right into the room and make a scene, I wanted you to fight for me and see you trying to get me back! But all you did was playing, playing, playing... I lost all my hope."
"I think I was a too big coward to do so." Kyuhyun's voice sounded regretful.
"Of course you were."
Silence filled the room again, making this situation more and more embarrassing. The men started to get calmer after they let all their emotions out. Now they were standing there, in front of each other, being quiet and not knowing what to do. Sungmin even coughed for a while, wanting to break this awkward silence.
Then something unexpected happened.
Kyuhyun collapsed onto the floor, down on his knees, taking a big bow in front of his boyfriend. Sungmin stared at him startled and observed calmly what the other one was doing. The maknae stayed in this position, his head greatly humbled, almost touching Sungmin's feet with his forehead.
"Forgive me."
Sungmin couldn't even move an inch, he stood there rigidly and silent.
Is he really BEGGING for forgiveness?
Knowing Kyuhyun too well, this was a great shock for the older one. This evil maknae with a way too big ego would never ever do something like this - that was what Sungmin had been thinking before. A begging Kyuhyun was just as ridiculous as a crying Sungmin. But today both of them broke their own rules, doing surprising actions.
That touched Sungmin, that touched him so much that he even held back his breath for a moment.
"Kyuhyun-ah..." was the only thing he was able say.
"I promise to fight for you and for this love in the future, not being a coward anymore." Kyuhyun continued. "I want to protect you and be the one for you that you can rely on. I want to be strong for you... This time you were the stronger one; yes, shedding tears but still being stronger than me. You were able to fight, I was not, I acted like an egoistic child. But well... I'm the maknae, aren't I? Maybe I still AM a child. But please. Help me kill the child inside of me and become as strong as you are."
That was it. That was the moment when Sungmin felt that he couldn't be angry at Kyu anymore. Maybe it was only a manipulation of the younger one and maybe it was once again a weak side of Sungmin to get touched by this - but he had simply enough. It looked so real, he felt that Kyuhyun finally really meant it, that his words were serious and true. Being stubborn as before led to nowhere; moreover, he wasn't like the maknae, he couldn't ignore him that much.
He had wanted to hurt him, to be cruel to him, show him that he could also be as cold as the other one - but no. He was too warm-hearted, too kind. After a week of showing Kyuhyun the cold shoulder he understood that he didn't want to fight evil by using evil.
Why was it a war anyway?
Where did the love go?
And he missed him. He missed him
so
damn
much.
"But Kyu..." he said after a while, making the latter look up at him with worry.
Will he reject me now? Kyuhyun thought and made a painful face.
"...I don't want you to kill the child inside of you. It's too cute sometimes." Sungmin finished and sent the other one a slight smile. Kyuhyun stared at him with disbelief.
"Eh?"
"Yeah, you have to stop being so stubborn and ignorant. Because that makes me sometimes think that you don't even care about our love..." Sungmin started again but the maknae had to cut in:
"That's not true..." he whispered carefully, being completely distracted by this sudden change of the situation. The elder wanted to finish his sentence but first reached out a hand in his direction, wanting him to get up.
"...but I don't want you to change. I simply want my old Kyu back. Maybe a Kyu who's a bit more caring and less ignorant, but still being the Kyu that I once started to love. That's all I need."
Kyuhyun still glanced at Sungmin, thoroughly thrilled, but he quickly took his hand and stood up. Now being a bit ashamed about his kneeling, he blushed a bit and turned his head towards the wall, not being able to look into Sungmin's face anymore.
So this is it? Is everything ok now?
**
Hearing some noise coming from the hall, Eunhyuk opened his eyes lazily and yawned. I want to sleep... But huh? Who was that? Kyuhyun and Sungmin?
Are they fighting again? he thought and frowned, getting up from the bed and silently sneaking to the door. He opened it a bit, not too much, just to peek outside without getting noticed.
The one thing that came to his mind was to help them out if they were really quarreling again, like he had decided a week ago. He cautiously looked at the scene in front of him and got deeply surprised by seeing his friends hugging tightly with closed eyes and calm expressions.
Eunhyuk simply shrugged and closed the door silently. "I guess they don't need my help anymore" he sighed and felt slightly disappointed. But he quickly shook this thought out of his mind and began to smile.
His wish was finally fulfilled.
Author: Maxime (maxime260)
Pairing: KyuMin (Kyuhyun/Sungmin)
Characters: Kyuhyun, Sungmin, Eunhyuk
Genre: Drama, romance
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Love sometimes acts crazy and weird, withdrawing people from each other instead of keeping them together. It's natural, though annoying and hurting.
Part Four: The End
Kyuhyun had never seen Sungmin crying because of him before.
The first time he had seen his boyfriend's tears had been years ago, when they had won an award. Sungmin usually had kept his emotions stable at moments like that but that one time it had been different. He had surprised all the other members, including Kyuhyun, by sheding some tears - on the scene, in public.
Later, there had been that one day when they had been free of any schedules and staying home. He had walked into their room and the first thing that had caught his attention had been a crying Sungmin lying on the bed. When Sungmin had noticed the latter's presence, he had quickly tried to wipe his tears off and turned towards the wall. Kyuhyun remembered clearly how he had stepped to him at that moment and comforted by hugging him and asking what had been wrong.
"I miss my family."
Except those moments, Kyuhyun had never seen the other one bursting into tears, never. Through all those four years he had known Sungmin, there had never been situations in which the elder would cry.
But now he did.
And it was Kyuhyun's fault.
The maknae felt that he became weak because of that sight, how he started to get sweaty and how his head got all dizzy. It was breathtaking, he couldn't watch it as emotionless as he had before; a crying Sungmin was the biggest strike for him, not even an attack on himself could hurt him as much as this single moment did.
He tried to take a deep breath but he suddenly found it hard to do so. He began to lose control over his body which started to act like crazy, with all this sweat and shaking incredibly.
Shit.
Kyuhyun could only stare at Sungmin helplessly and tried to figure out how to react. Should he forget about everything and simply grab the other one into his arms and try to calm him down, keeping him close and kissing his every single tear away? Or would Sungmin push him away and flee, to... to Eunhyuk? Kyuhyun started to bite his lips again - what he had done way too much lately - and punished himself in his thoughts; yes, he had been jealous because of Sungmin's friend. Dreadfully jealous. But it's all your fault, Cho Kyuhyun, your fault. You wouldn't have to be jealous if you hadn't treaten Sungmin like you did.
When he finally realized that everything got really bad - well, Sungmin didn't cry for nothing - he knew that he had to do something, he couldn't just stand there like a fool, watching his beloved person sheding tears like he had never done it before and simply walk away. He felt that it would be a big mistake, bigger than all the other he had done the last days, something which would only testify his great stupidity and imbecility.
Fuck my pride, fuck this all. It leads me to nothing. I have to fix it as fast as I can or I will lose him forever.
"Sungmin..." Kyuhyun spoke at last and quickly ran towards the crying man, stopping right in front of him. If he pushes me away - whatever. I have to do this. He reached out his hands in Sungmin's direction, gently touching his chin and trying to lift his bowed head. When he did so, he managed to make the elder look straight into his eyes and when he noticed how red and swollen Sungmin's eyelids were, his heart skipped a beat and he felt like the biggest jerk on earth. I did this to him...
"Don't cry. Please." he whispered and moved the strands of hair that had fallen into Sungmin's face, lightly touching his skin when he was doing so. Everything seemed to go in the right direction but his concerns soon became reality - Sungmin shook his head and stepped a bit back, frowning.
"Why! You don't care about me anymore so why are you telling me what I should or shouldn't do!" came from the elder's mouth, firmly and loudly. Kyuhyun expected this but he got surprised anyway. Somehow he thought that it would be... easier. Like in fairytales, huh? The prince comes to the princess and everything is fine? But life wasn't a fairytale and he knew that he had hurt Sungmin too much before, he had to do a lot now to make the other one finally forgive him. It was quite egoistic to think otherwise.
But Sungmin, as strong as he might seem, was still a sensible and soft person inside. After saying his own words, his tears burst out again and he definitely couldn't hide them. He quickly turned away from Kyuhyun and it looked like he really wanted to go away now - that was the alarm for Kyuhyun; fast reaction was now necessary.
"That's not true!" the younger man exclaimed and put his arms around Sungmin's waist so that he disabled him. The latter tried to break away, screaming "Let me go!" but Kyuhyun held him stubbornly and didn't even think of doing so.
"Listen to me, Sungmin..."
"NO! I want to-"
"Dammit, Sungmin!" Kyuhyun couldn't take this anymore and finally also began to shout. "I LOVE YOU, OK? I fuckin' love you, I never stopped and of course you're still my boyfriend, there wasn't even a second that I thought in another way! BUT DAMMIT! I miss you so much that it's driving me crazy! And I didn't know what to do to get close to you so I simply did NOTHING, I know that it was wrong and that I messed up. I'm an asshole, right? I admit it. I am. Punish me as much as you want but please, don't make the same mistake I did and don't be stubborn now, let's finally end this childishness. Please..."
Sungmin sighed and stopped escaping.
"Yeah. I wanted to end this a long time ago but you didn't let me."
"I know, Sungmin, I know. Because I'm an idiot. And I was hurt too, you know? When you wanted to fix this by having sex with me-"
"I DIDN'T!" the elder shouted, interrupting Kyuhyun. "Aish. It was a misunderstanding, Kyu, you know that I wouldn't try to do something like this, don't you? I'm not like this... I'm not..."
"And what about staying at Eunhyuk's all nights? Do you think that's ok?"
Finally, Kyuhyun let go of Sungmin and the latter turned towards him, looking him now straight into the face.
"NO! I know it's not! But he was the person who was there for me when you weren't! He comforted me and calmed me down, he was a real friend to me, when you were just sitting there, playing your stupid games... I NEEDED YOU! I wanted you to stand up, walk right into the room and make a scene, I wanted you to fight for me and see you trying to get me back! But all you did was playing, playing, playing... I lost all my hope."
"I think I was a too big coward to do so." Kyuhyun's voice sounded regretful.
"Of course you were."
Silence filled the room again, making this situation more and more embarrassing. The men started to get calmer after they let all their emotions out. Now they were standing there, in front of each other, being quiet and not knowing what to do. Sungmin even coughed for a while, wanting to break this awkward silence.
Then something unexpected happened.
Kyuhyun collapsed onto the floor, down on his knees, taking a big bow in front of his boyfriend. Sungmin stared at him startled and observed calmly what the other one was doing. The maknae stayed in this position, his head greatly humbled, almost touching Sungmin's feet with his forehead.
"Forgive me."
Sungmin couldn't even move an inch, he stood there rigidly and silent.
Is he really BEGGING for forgiveness?
Knowing Kyuhyun too well, this was a great shock for the older one. This evil maknae with a way too big ego would never ever do something like this - that was what Sungmin had been thinking before. A begging Kyuhyun was just as ridiculous as a crying Sungmin. But today both of them broke their own rules, doing surprising actions.
That touched Sungmin, that touched him so much that he even held back his breath for a moment.
"Kyuhyun-ah..." was the only thing he was able say.
"I promise to fight for you and for this love in the future, not being a coward anymore." Kyuhyun continued. "I want to protect you and be the one for you that you can rely on. I want to be strong for you... This time you were the stronger one; yes, shedding tears but still being stronger than me. You were able to fight, I was not, I acted like an egoistic child. But well... I'm the maknae, aren't I? Maybe I still AM a child. But please. Help me kill the child inside of me and become as strong as you are."
That was it. That was the moment when Sungmin felt that he couldn't be angry at Kyu anymore. Maybe it was only a manipulation of the younger one and maybe it was once again a weak side of Sungmin to get touched by this - but he had simply enough. It looked so real, he felt that Kyuhyun finally really meant it, that his words were serious and true. Being stubborn as before led to nowhere; moreover, he wasn't like the maknae, he couldn't ignore him that much.
He had wanted to hurt him, to be cruel to him, show him that he could also be as cold as the other one - but no. He was too warm-hearted, too kind. After a week of showing Kyuhyun the cold shoulder he understood that he didn't want to fight evil by using evil.
Why was it a war anyway?
Where did the love go?
And he missed him. He missed him
so
damn
much.
"But Kyu..." he said after a while, making the latter look up at him with worry.
Will he reject me now? Kyuhyun thought and made a painful face.
"...I don't want you to kill the child inside of you. It's too cute sometimes." Sungmin finished and sent the other one a slight smile. Kyuhyun stared at him with disbelief.
"Eh?"
"Yeah, you have to stop being so stubborn and ignorant. Because that makes me sometimes think that you don't even care about our love..." Sungmin started again but the maknae had to cut in:
"That's not true..." he whispered carefully, being completely distracted by this sudden change of the situation. The elder wanted to finish his sentence but first reached out a hand in his direction, wanting him to get up.
"...but I don't want you to change. I simply want my old Kyu back. Maybe a Kyu who's a bit more caring and less ignorant, but still being the Kyu that I once started to love. That's all I need."
Kyuhyun still glanced at Sungmin, thoroughly thrilled, but he quickly took his hand and stood up. Now being a bit ashamed about his kneeling, he blushed a bit and turned his head towards the wall, not being able to look into Sungmin's face anymore.
So this is it? Is everything ok now?
**
Hearing some noise coming from the hall, Eunhyuk opened his eyes lazily and yawned. I want to sleep... But huh? Who was that? Kyuhyun and Sungmin?
Are they fighting again? he thought and frowned, getting up from the bed and silently sneaking to the door. He opened it a bit, not too much, just to peek outside without getting noticed.
The one thing that came to his mind was to help them out if they were really quarreling again, like he had decided a week ago. He cautiously looked at the scene in front of him and got deeply surprised by seeing his friends hugging tightly with closed eyes and calm expressions.
Eunhyuk simply shrugged and closed the door silently. "I guess they don't need my help anymore" he sighed and felt slightly disappointed. But he quickly shook this thought out of his mind and began to smile.
His wish was finally fulfilled.