Five months today....

[maxinemayer]

Monday, April 14, 2008 9am DST NYC

Today marks five months since my husband Hannes died November 14, 2007. It's just beginning to sink in, I think. That he is gone forever. That he's not coming back. That I am lost. That I've lost in the game of life. My helpmeet is gone, the person with whom I thought to spend my declining years. There's nobody

Comments

[neevebrody]

Dear Max. What a lovely sentiment and a wonderful display of affection. ::hugs:: Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and your pictures. God bless you, dear.

[maxinemayer]

Thank you very much! I can use God's grace a lot right now!
Love, max

[oran]

No don't change. You are perfect just as you are, as the wife you are and will always be. The world and it's expectations can go hang, you loved Hannes and you do it your way. *hugs lots* Love O. xx

P.S. I got your mail, thank-you so much, and am working my way through the changes, no problem. As well as working on the next part too, which is a bit more of a problem.

[maxinemayer]

I'm not perfect by any means but I thank you for imagining me so! It's - odd - to know that folks expect me to somehow "get on with my life" in some thoroughly awful way, like, "meet new people" (does this mean, a new "boyfriend?" yeah, that's what it does mean. ugh.)! Join something - to meet a new man, believe it or not, that's what they're getting at! Cripes, if anything, I'd see whether my sketchy lesbian leanings could work out for me, rather than meet a new man!!! Grins!

Thank you for the hugs - I need those very much!

Let me know if you can't figure out where those fixes of the story go, I'll find them for you! Also, I want more story, so get on it (hear the whip cracking!)!

Love ya, max

[naye]

I'm so moved by the love you so clearly shared with your husband. As strange as it sounds - and I hope it does not come across as insensitive! - it gives me hope.

*hugs*

[maxinemayer]

Thank you! It doesn't sound strange to me! The fact is, my little teary crying whining jag this morning as I wrote this entry gave *me* hope, too! You know how it is, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!

Love is all....

I believe that!

Thank you for the always-much-needed hugs!
Love, max

[andeincascade]

Maxine, I am at once so sorry for your loss and glad that you found your soulmate in this lifetime. That's a wonderful thing.

[maxinemayer]

Thank you! You hit the nail on the head - I've been fortunate beyond the telling in my life! I've done so many things that could have brought sorrow and regret yet they all turned out to bring joy and hope and gratitude! I only wish Hannes could have lived to see the new day dawn... he deserved a happy and long life! It sometimes seems that God really does take the good when they're young (only 61 when he left us). But Hannes certainly wouldn't have wanted to be sick and dependent. So, God was good to take him from this suffering he was enduring.

Hannes was my friend of so many years as well as my husband. And good friends are miracles. I'm very grateful for that.

Love, max

[devildoll]

*hugs you*

[maxinemayer]

Thank you! Hugs you back!
Love, max