I'll Meet You There part viii
i
I'll Meet You There part viii - final chapter - in which we look to the future
Okay, so... I'm a little nervous about this. I feel like this ended how I wanted it to and this chapter provides some very nice closure while not being too ambiguous. It came out a bit too sappy for my tastes but... I just hope I've given it an ending worthy of the fic and its amazing readers. You guys rock. I'll shut up now. Go.
I’m glad you were the one to kiss me, because I never would have had the courage to even bring it up. I suppose I’d seen some hints before; your eyes lingering on me for a few extra seconds or holding my hand a little too tight, a little too long (too long to be considered appropriate, I mean. Not too long for me. Nothing could be too long for me).
It’s not to say things went perfectly swell after that, though. We didn’t jump into a relationship, but we talked about our feelings - a mutual desire that was less than platonic - and we agreed to wait it out a little, at least until we finished filming. That didn’t stop us from snogging several times, however.
But when the movie ended, when we made it official, it was the best feeling in the world. Being with you, being yours, and you being mine. It was so much better with you than it was with anyone else. We argued a lot, in the beginning, but when we were okay it just felt so much easier, so much more natural and comfortable, like we really were meant for eachother. The hardest part was having to hide it in public when all I wanted to do was kiss you every second I possibly could.
The days pass slowly, surely, each one a little easier than the one before it, and somehow faster than expected. Jesse’s back, and things are right again, at least as right as they can be.
They both go back to work, showered with the love and support from coworkers and friends as Jesse has to relearn everything he took for granted.
They sleep together, just sleep, with Andrew’s arms around Jesse, holding him tight , so tight. if there’s anything this has taught him it’s that life is so precious; no matter how strong their love is, always inbetween it is the fragility of human life, and it can be gone in an instant. He holds on as firmly as he can, not willing to let that happen.
The man that hit Jesse, of course, is punished, but it doesn’t seem like anything could be enough for the damage he caused.
Andrew snakes his arm around Jesse from behind as they stand at the counter, reteaching him how to make their favorite recipes, whispering the words warm next to his ear. Jesse learns fast, sometimes he’ll know what to do without instruction and whether he’s remembering or it’s just the part of him that’s a natural cook, he doesn’t know.
It’s after a few nights of this, spending the evenings coddling and coking in the quiet that Jesse turns and tilts his head up to kiss him. Andrew wraps his arms around his shoulder to return it tenderly and Jesse’s lips feel different, rough and chapped from worrying but they taste just as sweet.
The physical injuries heal okay, but the doctors say Jesse won’t ever fully remember the last couple years of his life. Sometimes, something will come seeping back, a memory fluttering at the edge of his mind like trying to place the voice of an actor you maybe once heard on a television show when you were younger, but you can’t quite place. Washing dishes with Andrew, feeling the bubbles and smelling the soap, he knows he’s been here before and it all has a sense of belonging and familiarity to it. He gets a vague image of Andrew’s laugh and the white of flinging bubbles.
Oddly enough, as the brain works in bizarre ways, the first thing he fully remembers is how to make a chai latte. it was always Andrew's favorite drink, and years back he learned how to make them at home, spending Weeks practicing the technique. The recipe dances into his consciousness and Jesse races to the store to get the ingredients before it leaves him. he nearly destroys the kitchen and when Andrew comes home he’s almost angry until h sees Jesse standing there with the mug in his hand, and they hold eachother and cry.
Other things linger on the edge of his mind but not fully coming through the door: the smells of cake batter bring back one of he and Andrew's disastrous baking attempts. Listening to the Broadway soundtrack gifts him with small images of the inside of the Gershwin theatre, where they saw Wicked...
He meets old costars and friends again - Justin and Justin, Armie, Rooney. Some he remembers better than others and some not at all, but they all have gifts and stories to share. He’s surrounded by a bubble of support and love.
And Andrew. oh, sweet Andrew. Andrew who stuck with him, never left him even in the worst of times. Even when he left, Andrew was always right there. Andrew who waited, who took him right back with open arms. Andrew who whispers stories in his ear, who holds him while he sleeps, Andrew who sets up the appointments with therapists and doctors only to hear the same bad news, that Jesse will never remember completely, or even half of the past six years.
Amdrew, the only person he isn’t afraid of.
Andrew, who he loves.
It seems like, if two people are meant to love one-another, if they’re compatible, if they have everything between them that can form love, love is inevitable. You can’t defy destiny and it seems that Jesse and Andrew are just meant to be, because falling back into it feels so natural, so safe, as breathtaking as it was the first time.
“Tell me a story, Andrew,” he’ll whisper, when they’re lying together in bed, and Andrew will always have one to share. He’ll tell Jesse about their trip to London, meeting Andrew’s family, eating fresh fruit from the outdoor market and having a picnic on the lake. The time they went mini-golfing and he fell in a lake trying to retrieve a ball. About the time one of Jesse’s cats (his own, not a foster) died and they had a proper funeral for it, a burial in a meadow with their closest friends. (There are many humorous cat stories to share, and Jesse never gets tired of them. When they cuddle, sometimes the cats join them, curled up at their feet or between them, keeping them warm). He’ll tell Jesse about happy times they had, funny little memories, inside jokes, but he won’t leave out the bad ones, either, because Jesse deserves to know it all.
Andrew writes as much as he can in the notebook, pasting pictures and scraps in until it’s full and bursting. Others add to it, too, sharing their own memories and then Andrew sits down with Jesse, sharing it with him, telling him the stories. Occasionally, there will be something Jesse vaguely recalls. He looks through it every night before he goes to bed.
Certain things might bring something back - a scent, a certain song on the radio or a certain shirt Andrew wears. It’ll bring something back - just a little thread of a memory, like a single frame in the scene of a movie but it’s something, it’s a start.
Not to say things to back to how they were. It’s more like it was in the beginning; careful, tentative movements, experimenting, seeing what’s too far and what’s just right for where they’re at. Everything that drew Jesse to Andrew in the beginning draws him in now and maybe it’s even stronger.
Everyone is so, so supportive and it’s amazing. jesse doesn’t remember much of value but the connection they had doesn’t seem to have slipped.
Andrew tries not to forget, when he sees the blank, sometime scared look in Jesse’s eyes that this is hard on him, too. he can’t imagine what Jesse must be feeling, these jammed gears in his brain.
“It’s scary,” Jesse whispers, curled up into Andrew in bed at night. “Almost six years... gone. And when I think I’m remembering something, I don’t know if it’s a real memory or if I’m just imagining it in my head. I don’t know who I’ve been the past six years of my life.”
Jesse clings to him, the only person he has in this scary new world, who he lovers enough to remain by his side even when he didn’t know who he was - when everything they’d built together came crashing down. That is something Jesse will never forget. As he’s trying to build his life again, Andrew is safety. Andrew is his rock, the one thing he can depend on, Andrew is love and warmth, strong arms and hot kisses.
They move away from the city, to a new place, a town in Vermont, where they can learn together, at the same level. The town turns out to be a much better fit for them; cleaner, safer, much more like home, like the place you’d want to spend your life, and they’re immediately welcomed with open arms.
**
A year passes.
It’s a bumpy ride, a year full of Andrew holding Jesse when he breaks down from the fear and frustration, when Jesse has one of his anxiety attacks that seem to have gotten worse. A year of finding their way together around what is to be their new home. A year of cuddling in bed, Jesse whispering “tell me a story, Andrew,” in Andrew’s ear, and Andrew always having one to share. Of Jesse learning Andrew again, inside and out.
There are tears, lots of them, of doctors coming to the same conclusion that about five years of Jesse’s life are completely wiped out. Five years of memories he’ll never get back.
Andrew learning this new Jesse, it’s like falling in love again, doing it right this time without all the bumps and roadblocks they had in the beginning. Jesse’s memories might be gone, but Jesse, everything that makes him Jesse is still there. If the love was wiped out along with the memories, it doesn’t matter, because their hearts, meant for eachother, find it again.
Jesse won’t ever remember completely, but it seems like this will be just enough.
fin
(YOU GUYS THIS IS THE FIRST FIC I HAVE FINISHED IN OVER A YEAR.
DO YOU KNOW HOW PROUD OF THAT I AM?
I FINISHED A FIC!
A DAMN GOOD ONE TOO!
i love everyone in this fandom)